Morning All!! :D

Hiya, how's it going??  Me??  I am doing good.  I don't think I have anything at all today, but you know the routine.  I will get some coffee, and see where this leads.  :) 

First off, I guess I'll tell you what I am kinda deciding.  I am treating my now time as Winter running.  Just keeping a base of 20-25 miles, and running 3-4 times/week.  There really is nothing on the horizon, and a base of 20/25 mile/ week is a good base, that I can amp up training easily.  So we will call it Tuesday, Thursday 13.2 miles, and stuff on the weekend.  I know this time of year I should be training for something, but I am just not into it for whatever reason.  Good to keep a base though. 

Today I have to work, and not sure.  I have a lot of stuff to do around the house, but Lisa and I are going out to lunch.  :)   That may mean beer.  :)  If I don't do the beer, I will probably just read my 2nd book.  We'll call that a game time decision. 

I really got nothing, and I doubt I have anything the next couple days, so may take a couple days off.  The reason is really weird, so I'll just leave it at that.  :) 

Laterzzzzzz

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  got nothing there too.  :)    xoxo

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D    MWAH!!   xoxo

Thursday = Not My Typical Friday...

So anyway normally on a Thursday I woop it up a bit with some cocktails, and music, and chill.  Been doing it a long time, and well I ran with Jerry last night.  It was good to relax for a few hours, and read my book.  I am at the end.  I have like 10-15 pages left.  I had to put it down at like 9:30.  I didn't want to be too tired today.  I know who won though, and now just have to read the post games interview. 

Not really much on my mind today, but that doesn't always mean anything.  :)  Getting involved in a book = a quiet me.  I love getting lost in a good book as much as anyone.  When I was post hospital, and riding the bike and getting involved with Natalie I started reading a lot.  I read a lot of History.  After a while, I wanted to know everything about History, and I wanted to read every book in the World.  Reach for the Stars right??   ;)   Why, I don't know, and you don't even know the point.  Then all of a sudden I get into a discussion about the Civil War with Natalie's Dad, and you realize, crap,  I know a lot about that stuff.  That is one of those weird things.  You read and read on a subject, and you think nothing of it, and then all of a sudden your are in a conversation about said subject, and you blurt out all kindsa crap you didn't even think about.  Ever get one of those a-ha moments where your like Damn.  I guess I do know a bit about that crap?? 

The last few years I don't read as much.  I am not into mountain climbing books like I used to be, I have read all the cycling books in the library, and running books, and went through some Biography, and some History, but I am not always into it, and have started many books I haven't finished. 

What does it all mean??  Probably nothing, but I guess I change.  I am not always the same person year after year.  I mean I am me, I like to have fun, and have my cocktails, and I like a good dinner, and I like to eat good and healthy, and I sometimes like to eat crap.  :)   I feel like a surfer maybe on a wave.  Just riding this wave of life seeing where it leads.  I am not looking for perfection in my little box, because I know it isn't there.  I am not looking for perfection outside my box either, because I know it isn't there.  I am open and flexible.  I'd say most days it serves me pretty well. 

A point???  nah.  Just throwing something down.  I am at my favorite part of the week.  I have an idea of what I want to get done at work today.  A project.  :)   Tomorrow, I plan on working, and maybe even Sunday.  Yep, we are open all day.  :) 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)  xo

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All :)))

p.s.  not really confident in the Sox this year, but we'll see.   :)  ehhh.   The White ones.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D    xoxo   :)

I Have Wasted A Lot Of TIme Thinking of A Stupid Title

Sheesh.  Very rarely do I ever have problems coming up with some kind of title, and today is like the worst.  I hope you like what I was able to come up with.  :)  I am pretty sure I have absolutely nothing on my mind, but I will get some coffee, and we will see where this leads.  :) 

So anyway I guess this thing is weird, and sometimes invisible... not sure what to make of that.  Without communication relationships suffer, and they do a lot.  Guys hold things in, and girls are better at that stuff, and girls are better people typically.  The more you hold in, the worse of a person you end up being.  I sometimes wonder what people think, and maybe they think things are kinda nutty on this thing, or maybe what I think is the truth.  The closed minded ones are missing out on the other 99.99999999% of life.  You grow up with basic parameters of how life "should" be, and you do your best.  Whatever that means to you.  I threw away my book of  "should" and went a different way... and wasn't it Robert Frost who said, and that made all the difference... 

I see people trying to hold onto this or that, and everything in this world is garbage.  There is really nothing worthwhile here.  Stupid jobs, the striving after the Holy Roman Empire Coin... wait.  Shit.  What do we use for money these days??  I forget what man came up with, but it is still the same shit.  I went to the Grocer to buy some food, and they wouldn't take my Weimar Republic money.  DAMMIT!!!   :)   I had a wheel barrel full of it too.  :)

The world gets harder and harder.  Life gets harder and harder, and we stress about all kindsa things, and many times we lose moments of real life stuff.  Society pulls us into doing this and doing that, and we forget the most important things.  Life is pretty fucking dumb if you think about it.  :)  I say that with a smile in my heart too, because it is good to be me.  :) 

Yesterday I got side-tracked into a project, and I like doing that.  When I left I decided to treat myself to lunch, and a beer or two.  :)  I was tired, so I relaxed the rest of the day.  Today I am running, doing the same route as Tuesday.  Probably finish book 1.  Yay.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  SHIT,  I got nothing there too.  :)   xoxo

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

I Am Going To Give All My Secrets Away...

Well, I didn't mean to get all crazy yesterday, and as a matter of fact, I'd like to keep some stuff to myself.  A clarification when I say take, it obviously isn't me doing the taking.  I just have to deal with people's shit sometime, and I guess it helps them get a clearer view of themselves.  I didn't know about Steve R's thing, except him going in and out of being semi-bananas, and I know Heimleblog got a little weird at the end.  Especially when I confronted the cops in New York.  There were around 20 of them beating up a Black dude and his son.  One of the cops told me I got the crazy eyes.  I put 2 + 2 together, although at this time I had no idea what the hell was going on.  Mind you this was after the mourning of the Father, and when everyone thought I was nuts.  While everyone thought I was nuts, I went and P.R.'d a marathon by like 25 minutes or something stupid like that.  I didn't blog about it, because the blog was done. 

All these weird things I did not plan, but you know there is a plan out there, not of my doing.  There is shit inside us that is more than what decomposes when we die.  This is who you need to get to know.  Who you have to come to terms with.  I have known what was inside people for a long time.  I knew what was in me, and I told no one, and this stuff I knew back in the early 1990's.  That there would be these things I had to do, I had no idea.  Not a clue.  It is through trials and tribulations, and you know even these seemingly pointless things to go through do serve a greater good anyway.  As we go on our way, and our journey, we also help others too with some of their obstacles.  So I guess in a way I help people as I tried to find my way, and many times don't even know it.   If I've done good, many times I guess I wouldn't even know it.  Even the bad can be used as good too, and that is a pretty nice promise.  Can you imagine having a life without the 2nd thoughts, because, well I guess I overcame after the Journey.  Not that I'd be courageous enough to do what I did, but I did that right prior to going in the hospital, and also at the end of the journey.  Said I'd be willing to go where there is no hope, and I had no thoughts or hope of ever getting out.  The little preview told me too the worst of the worst is unwilling to go where the one who overcame was willing to go. 

That will not be a fun time for me for sure.  :) 

Anyhoo, sorry to get a little weird, and boy oh boy this blog has been throwing up some doozies lately.  :)   I can always tell.  :)... well sometimes I can tell. 

Well, whatever you all are on your own little personal journey to finding out who you are.  I assume it will be quite a fascinating ride, and I think of how much needs to get done, I doubt it will end this year, but ya never know.  We gots a lot of shit to get through. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All  :)))

p.s.  Jerry and I ran our 6.6 miler yesterday, and I have to cancel my Thursday = Friday, because Ken is getting carpet in his house.  Jerry has support on the Long Saturday and Hard Wednesday, but I still can help him on supplementary runs.  WOO HOO!!!   :)  He is doing good too.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D 

Morning Folks. :)))

I love the triple smile.  Best thing I have ever seen.  :)))   HA HA!!   So how's it going everyone??  Me pretty good.  I had intentions of doing a lot yesterday, and did most I guess.  I really wanted to read the Hunger Game Book, but the weather was so fricken nice out.  After I cut the grass, I just sat outside,  read a little, had a drink or two, while Lisa putzed with the flower garden.  Do you ever get that feeling of cutting the grass for the first time, and just love being outside.  I saw a lot of robins, which is awesome, and the trees are coming alive, so there is just so many greens to see.  If that ain't what life is about I don't know what is. 

I looked back at my FB update last night, and I saw I said what we do, and who we are is not important.  I remember this one time a long time ago. I was on one of my Monday long runs after work.  Probably a 13 miler or so.  I tried doubling up Saturday long runs, with a Monday long'ish run for Marathon training.  I felt something was not right with me.  This was during heimleblog time too.  Something was off, and mind you I woke up every morning strong, but was terrified throughout the day.  Heimleblog days had a lot of bad days.  Although I offered support to 4 bloggers, I had to suffer through a bunch of shit.  Hidden shit, that no one knew about.  Some days were really fucking bad though.  Anyway, I remember running back home on my long'ish run, and the feeling finally hit me.  "My life is worth so very little, do with it as you will."  I remember thinking man our lives are so huge to us, but in reality we are such a small and insignificant thing in the grand scheme of things. 

I can get really weird on this thing, and I guess I will again.  I remember talking to Russ Beaupre at Steve R's thingy, and some of Steve's struggles.  He drank a lot, and could never control it.  It controlled him you know??  I always thought that was impossible, but I never really got addicted to anything.  I chewed tobacco for a bit after H.S.  and quit like that.  I smoked ciggarettes for like a year and quit like that.  I drink, and choose to do it, but It isn't like I don't wake up early without my alarm clock anyway.  I also am not one of those drink til 3:00 am types.  Well, I won't get into the really weird thing about Steve, because it is really weird.  I told Gina a long time ago.  I had to take some of his craziness, so he could process through his life.  I guess I did tell you.  He was having struggles with being paranoid and stuff like that.  I took that from him, because that shit don't overpower me.  Not because I am strong on my own per se, but I am well looked after in a way. 

I remember saying when I heard about Steve that we'll use it for the greater good, whatever that meant.  Steve's death has been put to good use on this thing though huh??  A lot of people added, and some I don't even know.  :)  

Anyway I guess what I am saying is our life is really small, but our false view is how big it is.  One of the many things we have to overcome I guess.  Isn't that what Solomon was pointing out to anyway in Ecclesiastes??  He was shown what was to be done, and he knew it was a grievous task.  A lot of hard days I guess, and I know it, and the beauty of all the struggles since I started blogging is I wake up every morning ready to go. 

Goals???  nah, not really.  I guess I just want to enjoy my life.  Luckily I like running, and I love my job most of the time, and all kindsa things.  Why???  Because it is in my heart to be that way.  How much of how we feel, and how we act do we have control of??  Can you make yourself be very happy every second of the day??  Can you make yourself a nice person every second of every day??  Wouldn't you want to be the best person ever?? 

Yesterday was strange in ways.  I don't do strange well. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Planning on running tonight, so I will be able to get a lotta reading done.  :)))

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I am going to try and add a triple smile every day if I remember.  Just another way of me to add Damie.   :)))  She wonna the best.   :)))

Laterzzzzz  all.   :)))


Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Monday Monday...

You know the score.  :)  I am pretty sure I have nothing.  There really isn't much on my mind, and I think I threw a doozy down yesterday.  Why Saturday had to get so nutty, I know why.  Ticks me off I have to go through shit like that.  Inside us all is ugly stuff, and this doesn't have to be so hard, if people would just let go of stuff.  Our life is full of all kindsa dogma of some sort.  Whether we are Jewish, Muslim, whatever.  I tell you throw it all away, so you can be taught by one who knows more.  Trust he'll steer you in a good direction.  Do what you do, but be open to the World and life around you.  Accept you don't have all the answers, and no one else here does either.  We stand alone in our ignorance so to speak. 

Looking for just good in life you will not find.  Brace yourself for bad stuff that happens.  It does happen, and you have no control over it.  None of us are perfect either, so we will screw up relationships all the time.  I remember a long time ago when I was given a view of my past.  I saw me throwing away childhood friends to be with the cooler crowd in H.S.  Life is full of that type of shit.  When I got a view of that, I thought that is not who I want to be. 

Do you have a view of who you want to be, and who you really are??  2 different people isn't it.  So we are led on a journey to finding out about us.  Not all lessons are easy.  Why it has to be like that??  I don't know, but it is.  What I have been saying for a while is trust.  Trust me, and trust this thing we are doing here.  I have enough of a track record here. 

That being said it is Monday today, and I have a lot to do.  I also bought the Hunger Game books, so I want to start reading those too.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Never good to start off Monday being tired.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D  

No Workie For Me Today...

Okay, I am taking today off from work.  I was going to work for a few hours, but decided against it.  I haven't had a day off in a while, so why not.  Obviously I like what I do at work on the weekends or I wouldn't go in.  You know having said that, I may still go in.  We'll see. 

Now some of you know my story, and it is an ongoing story, and I surely am not the author of it am I???  I am not making my own plans am I??  It isn't just about that old dude that day I hung around with Jacob is it??  Remember mourning Barbara's DAD twice???  Once at work, where I thought I could die I was so sad.  I did not plan that.  I am not that caring of an individual  on my own.  Shortly after that everyone threw me under the bus.  I p.r.'d the marathon, and didn't blog about it right??  Then I had the 5K the day after the Jacob dude's thing.  I don't remember how much time lapsed from  Heimleblog to the Journey.  Marathon is in October though, and ahhh,  Nov, 1, 2009.  A few weeks passed from Heimleblog to Journey.  The Wait started up right away.  Like next day. 

I went through a lot with very little support, but yet I stand.  I remember some real low points, I mean wishing I was dead low, because well people are just fucking horrible really.  It is really our flaws that make us great, and the ability to be real about them.  Fake nice and fake whatever is fake.  I love real people.  Being real and being honest is the only way things work.  You know how it says love your neighbor as yourself??  Well remember the one thing I said is our deepest desire is to know ourself.  To get to know us.  There is that one Goo Goo Dolls song "Iris" that says:

And I don't want the World to see me, cuz I don't think that they'd understand....

The trap we have for our self is we cannot love our neighbor as our self. Why is that??  Because we judge.  We always judge the lazy, the fat, etc...  I mean I don't like Lisa's Mom one bit.  I hate that fucking lifestyle, and I hate her life, but I even had her time when I looked out her window.  Why that obese woman is still alive is beyond me.  You see I ain't no righteous dude, because we are not made that way.  I made a turn, and I take some stuff from people, when they are too weak to do it on their own.  I think, and I hope I don't have to do it anymore, because I don't really like doing it.  There were several more that I have taken too, and I haven't told you. 

If you have lost a parent recently, I may have taken some stuff from you.  A lot of times it isn't because people are not strong enough, but really life is too busy. 

Our common ground is none of us are righteous, and none of us are perfect, but in my tent are believers, and non believers, gay people, divorced people, drinkers, mean fuckers, dickheads all kindsa people.  In my tent I don't judge you for your less than perfections, because in that way I have a pretty good heart.  I think it is in good hands too.  :)  I suffered for it though, and still have one more thing to do.  Not my plan, but when I found the way I said I was willing.  Brave, or afraid of the consequences really huh??  Now I am not afraid to go where there is no hope, because my help overcame centuries ago, and he is the one who makes it work.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I can be a dick sure, but we all can be assholes. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D