Looking At The Two Me's.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I had a long work day yesterday, so that sorta fucks up the day. I don't know exactly how the old me would have handled it. It was a work out day, so the new me went and worked out. I had things I wanted to do after work, but I lost too much time.

I came home tired. The old me might have worked out, not sure. The old me would have made a cocktail once home. The new me had no desire for a cocktail. I wanted to water the grass, and garden, but didn't feel like it. I read my book. That's what I wanted to do. I thought I'd probably be staying up later,  but I went to bed at 7:00. I didn't have the energy to do the home part of my workout either. My resting heart rate keeps plummeting too.

Outside of that I didn't think of much yesterday I don't think. I know I went to bed, and internally I felt pretty good. Relaxed, and content. Only complaint yesterday was not getting everything done I wanted. I did go to bed having expended most/all my energy. I did figure out how nondrinkers drink coffee late. It doesn't appeal to me in the least,  but we all want energy.

I know myself well enough I guess. I expended all my energy yesterday. It's time to sleep,  not time to caffeinate. I am overcoming a cough too, so my sleep does get interrupted,  meaning I may not be getting as many zzzzs,  as normal.

How does life look like now?  Looking from the outside I can ponder a drinking lifestyle. There are different types. Heavy, on down to casual. I drank for a buzz. I can't imagine why you wouldn't. My day's plan had cocktails in the mix. Regardless I'd still have a lot of steps before I started drinking,  unless it was a day off. Also the benefit of knowing I wouldn't get a hangover, and I wouldn't get a headache. If I drank a full pint I'd know it. Less energy. 

Once you jump off that path you split your personality kinda. The 2 sides to you. For the record, I didn't plan on quitting drinking. I got sick. I knew it was going to be a tough one. A Cough, so I figured I better take a night off drinking. That was easy, so I took two. I thought to myself what would life be like if I didn't drink?  Let's check it out, and here we are.

Quitting drinking is like quitting smoking I guess. I smoked for one year in my life. I quit, and the thought of cigarettes didn't appeal to me. I could drink now,  but like yesterday I wouldn't have read my book if I was.I could get that euphoric feeling, but my internals felt at peace as I went to bed. It ain't no thing I guess is what I am saying.

Drinking decreases outside work production. I can do more and be more without it. Also, and maybe that is why it ain't no thing. I still feel good.

If there are people out there whose internals aren't so great, and a buzz helps them feel better,  I guess that's a different story. I wonder if people are even in touch with their internals.  If you don't know how it is to feel good just by living, what is there to compare? 

If life looks boring without drinking or geting a buzz what are you to do? 

We aren't made to feel content in things. So we seek things that make us feel good.

I think people mostly find things that make them mad. You are the center of your universe. People who don't think like you are wrong.

I dunno, the new me is just looking at things.  Trying to see how people are.

Anyway, I gotta run. Today should be okay. 

Laterzzzzz.       :)

xoxo.     :)

xxoo.     :)

Byeeeeeee.     :)))