I Had A Lazy Lazy Day.

So I've been working Sundays for over a year I bet. Yesterday I had off, and I have today off too cuz of the holiday.

It is 2:44 AM, and there are neighbors still up somewhere. I can hear them talking.  :)  it is my next door neighbor actually.  I like sleep too much I guess. I don't mind being up at 2:43 AM, but only if I already slept.

Anyway yesterday was really lazy. I did do all the dishes,  and that's about it. As you know I usually am approaching 30,000 steps on any day I work. Yesterday I was at ~1500 at 5:30 PM. Most days I am way past that at 5:30 AM. So that's a lazy day. As I have today off too, I am fine with it. Why not have a lazy day? 

It is Memorial day so kinda the beginning of Summer. I have stuff to keep me busy. There are no great feats I will try to pursue. I am not a great person. I don't feel anyone is. Perhaps I know no one is.

It is pretty easy to look at my life and see perfection I did not attain. I don't even know how I could even compare myself to a Saint.

I don't believe running totals clear your slate. I've been married for 80 years so all my flaws have been forgiven. Umm, no.

I watched Wedding Crashers yesterday. It's a funny movie. Weddings are ridiculously expensive days. I stood up at a wedding. It ended up in divorce,  and I made out with the girl I stood up with. I was at the wedding with my girlfriend Katrina. The girl was hot.  Earlier I was thinking of maybe a 16 year old girl I had relations with when I was maybe 22. It wasn't intentional. We became friends. I drove her home after a work function. One of those things where it just kinda happened I guess.

A bunch of stupid stuff in my life. I didn't have remorse over my actions. Just living. Doing as I feel you know?  It's just my normal tendencies weren't always on the Saintly side of things. I expect most of us are that way. Just our thoughts are probably fucked up in ways.

I saw things of people over the age of 50 getting married for at least the 2nd time.  Why?  Who cares?  The feelings will change just like the first time. We all get infatuated. It's usually pretty powerful, but that shit doesn't last.

In the end you settle down. I never want to stay up til 3:00 AM on a holiday weekend. All things being equal that's when I'd like to wake up.

It's so easy to go on with life as the imperfect creatures we are. I guess I did look at things head on. I felt death, I hurt people, cuz my desires didn't always line up with a Saint's actions. 

I grabbed the truth and held on I guess. It told me this World is a lie. There are no heroes. None of us measure up. Counting stats or no.

I think I'll take Hope.

Laterzzzzzzz.       :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeee.        :)))