Out And Out.

So my early alarm went off. I turned it off, and fell back asleep for 3 days? 2 weeks? 5 hours?  Nope only a half hour, but I was out. Hold on, I am going to check my sleep.  I slept almost 8 hours. I needed it. I was tired 2 days ago, and slept only 5 hours. It's a workout day too so glad I am rested.

Yesterday was okay. I almost got a ride home cuz it was raining hard, and thunder. It let up in time so I was able to take my bike. My summer bike has fenders, and fenders rule for a commute bike. I paid extra to get fenders. I've been commuting mostly for geesh, longer than I've been doing this. So forever basically. Since gas went up to $2/ gal. I grew up on dollar packs of cigarettes and $1/ gal of gas. I grew up too when an exotic beer was Old Style light in a bottle.   :)    lol.   God, I am old.

So, not much going on with me. Yesterday was a day. I worked,  ran, did the dishes. We had a meal. I apparently fell asleep at some point in time. I was out like I said. Today I have another day planned. It should be okay.

My life continues to be pretty easy. I think mostly cuz I don't have to mold the World, and people to fit my plan of how I want my future to look. My future is in another's hands. A story has already been started, just not finished. It was a story I would originally say was very hard with much suffering, but I am so far removed from hard I barely remember kinda. You know how someone dies. It's hard during the time, but as time goes on they are just a memory. The hard times of my life are exactly like that.

The hard suffering will revisit me one time in the not too distant future. When, I have no idea. Until then I just do my day to day. The days are fine. I stay busy. Typically I am not bored. Being in my head is fine with me. My heart typically is pretty upbeat. My heart is such a way that I feel in life I miss out on nothing. No regrets about anything. No missed opportunities.  Nothing. It is good to be okay in one's own head. It makes things seem easy.

As for others I am sure life is a struggle at times. How others live, and how they think I am far removed from too. I imagine different things push against you at different times. Should I be more like this?  Should I not think like this?  Should I do this?  Should I strive for that?  Being alive is hard like that, unless you had nothing to worry about. We are born believing money is the key to that altered state, or some high, or whatever, but none of it is. None of that makes us always feel content. The key is your heart. You don't control your heart, so how do you propose to always feel good about stuff?  What actions will you take?  Kinda makes you feel like the dude with the limbs on his back taking the stairway to heaven huh?  You can't labor your way to a content heart. You cannot accumulate enough money to make you feel the same.

Also you are made in such a way that you think you are the master of your Universe. All powerful and all knowing to create the future you want.

The future you want is a content heart, but unbeknownst to you is you cannot create it. All actions to this date have all been in vain.  Amounting to zero points. You don't know it, and you don't believe it. I can't really help you either. Your walk is yours alone. You stand alone in how you deal with this. Family, friends etc... have no saying in this. Just you. You don't go with your friends and groups when you go 6' under. A plaque in your memory doesn't matter at that point either. 

Life is fricken hard. Pretty close to impossible to get it right. I did get it right. Not by being perfect, cuz that is impossible on my own. Really I was asked to face my future with being an imperfect person. Dealing with that truth. Dealing with those consequences too. Security comes before perfection though. I overcame twice so far, and I am accepted. It's how my story goes. 

Anyways I spose. 

Laterzzz.      :)

xoxo.      :)

xxoo.      :)

Byeeeeeee.        :)))