In Past Years...

Good morning.  How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I know in past years this thing seemed to have a theme. I don't know if there is one really,  but I remember us going into the wilderness at some point.  I don't know if we still are there,  but I feel my heart is, cuz that is seemingly what I write about. The futility of life. It doesn't bug me in the least. I accept my little life I have. I accept the insignificance of me with a good heart. It doesn't matter. In life i have everything I want. It just do happens there isn't much I want.

Seeking out a purpose way back when, I guess the purpose was the truth. The truth is my life is insignificant. When I was taken back into the wilderness in heimleblog days, I gave up. I couldn't go back there. In a dream/vision my heart was taken that night, and that made all the difference. The truth also is without help I cannot do this. I am not strong enough to walk this walk.

There were rough days along this path,  but they are long gone. My path is easy now, because I've lived, and endured the invisible things I was supposed to. I had absolutely no clue what my days would look like back in like '90 or '91.  I just wanted something I guess. A purpose. I took the only path available for such a thing. It turns out the purpose isn't much either, but I am where I am now,  and this is pretty awesome.

To be secure in the direction you took in life. Having no questions,  no regrets, and being able to wake up as I do. To know every decision smart or dumb gets a green light saying go ahead. Knowing my imperfection is accepted, and mine not to worry about.

In the end I do have a little task about becoming perfect, and that is where Faith and righteous meet. An area where no one can go, unless they've been singled out for such a thing. Few get there,  cuz obedience is important. I've come a long way.  Decades to get to the point where I have only one thing to do.  The time between now and then is just a little life I am happy to live each day.

I still wait to suffer, but I have no concern over it. That which terrified me at the beginning of all this,  does not even concern me. With help I'll overcome the 3rd time, and the story of the current version of me will be done. How things look after that I have no clue. I patiently wait, but I also know the thing I must do will not be pleasant in the least. It will be horrible.  I cannot even imagine.  We will worry about that when the time comes.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Have a good one.  :)

xxoo.   :)

xoxo.    :)

Laterzzz.   :)