Hey, It's February.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. Yesterday, I had just your regular type day. So regular I wasn't going to do this. I was just going to sleep, but I was done sleeping. I figured I would try to do this,  but I thought I might just delete it. Not very confident I have anything to write, but whatever.

I kinda think what if I didn't do this anymore?  What would I do when I wake up so early?  This I guess.  :)

I wake up today not knowing what kind of stupid shit is going on. I usually get most of my news from social media, and really I don't see much, so that's good. Most of the time you see people getting angry I guess. Going out of their way to prove their side is right, and the other is wrong.

I lean left in my thinking,  so that is how I am. If you look at me I guess it is easy to see what I am about. Work, eat, sleep. Not much more to me, and really not much more to life. Maybe that is what it is all about. The more you go on the less there is of you. I kinda feel that way. You know how I've said there is less and less of me?  

When I say I am poor in spirit I am only full on my feet. Now you don't know what that means, but I've been like this for a great while. It used to be I was vulnerable this way. Only time I wasn't was during the dead years, and after overcoming the 2nd time. That coincides with the start of this blog, and that was several years ago. How I am now I can not carry much. So after my 3rd time I get a new wineskin, that can carry everything. I will be full then. Overflowing as it were.

It is all as it is written, but it is written in spirit terms, so you have to be mostly spirit to know what it means. That's me. I know a lot about this stuff,  but I still lack understanding, and that is what I've been after all this time.

What I write here means you are nowhere. You are still the person born to this World. Been there done that. I'd be just like you if I didn't take the steps I did in the early 90's. I had no vision, no teacher, no one to ask for help. When I wanted someone to help me there was no one. My journey was solo, and I had no one for help, except my help. Unseen, and unknown by all.

I was led by great fear. I suffered for a long time. My time in the wilderness was tough. You cannot even know. I remember after overcoming the first time I became arrogant,  because I had no idea what I was doing. I was almost cast aside,  but one interceded for me, and i did that for one other too. That was two blogs ago.

There were a lot of people I've come across doing this. The percentage of people who disappear is pretty high. I don't really know what that is about, but I just have my life. My work is done,  so I live out my days. I don't have anything to accomplish,  cuz my journey is over, but the wait.

On a strange note the person I interceded for I told her I'd wait for her. I didn't know what it really meant when I said it. There is no manual for my journey. My heart led the way. She was one of the 2nd five. The only one who didn't blog. I don't think of her at all. Years probably.

There is nothing to me really. Nothing important at all. Just a guy with a little life. I wait to do my final thing. And the timing is not in my hands.

Others wish for money, and security, and I wait to suffer, so I can become the best a person can be. Security I already have, I kinda guess since I have help I will never lose it.

You never know.  I don't know exactly what I will be walking into. I just know it takes a lot to just save little old me.  A whole story decades long. A story that got lost for centuries.

Anyway, I guess that's it.

Cya later.