An Ideal Start

Hello, and good morning. Either Wednesday or Thursday I have to do my hard run of the week. I'd really like to do it on fresh legs before work. I am up early today,  so I guess I can do that today. I don't know how often I'll wake up before 3:00 AM though, so I probably can't always count on it.

Yesterday was a pretty good day for me. I am the type of person who has all these ideas of what I am going to do after work,  and when I get home after work I don't feel like doing it. I kinda had that feeling yesterday,  but I wanted to get shit done too, and I did. Mostly outside shit, but I had to pick up a few groceries too. So that's good.

Other than that not much. I have changed kinda in how I look at things. Nothing matters really. I work, I eat, and I sleep. I don't have a lot of outside pressure on me. Maybe none. I don't look over my shoulder. Am I doing this right or that. Part of my whole story is the weight of the World is practically lifted from me.

I know how I am now,  I am a unique individual. Even so, that Summer way back when, I was unique too. I know I was singled out, and made different. I've seen things endured things, and felt things I am positive was way different than anyone I knew.

That Summer I learned I wasn't special. I learned the humbling fact of our existence. I learned that lesson another time like 7 years back too.

It is pretty ridiculous too, because in some way our lives have to be important right??  Life is just this thing that goes on. In the end it doesn't really matter.

I don't know how to express myself really except life is pretty ridiculous,  and people think it is significant in some way. In the wilderness nothing is significant. In the wilderness we are not smart. In the wilderness we aren't even above the apes really,  except for what is at stake.

I think I knew a while ago we were coming here. I didn't want to, but now I know the necessity of it. It is why I don't lead my path. I wouldn't have done any of it if it was up to me. How would I even know anything??  How could I lead myself?? 

Anyway, I am up early. I can get my hard run in. It basically will be a warm up. 4 hard ups ~a half mile, and 4 recover downs.

It is nice being at the beginning of training. Easier hard days.  :)

Alrighty.

Til next time.