This Thing Has Been A Struggle.

Good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am okay. I have tried blogging the last couple days, but it was really dumb, and I deleted it.

I wasn't going to blog today,  because it seemed it would be a waste of time. Not much going on in this noggin. The mouse is running on the wheel, but he isn't catching the cheese.

So I thought about us being in the wilderness. It is a tough area. I don't think I really understood how futile our lives are until I overcame the 2nd time.

Anyway as you remember I was asked to go solo. This walk was mine. Little did I know I was going into the wilderness, but I did. It really is a horrible place with no hope. All around you is judgement.

I walked. I'd wake up every morning  very early. I'd walk. I'd work my 2nd shift job, and walk some more. I was seeking what I lost.  My life.

Anyway the hardest lesson in life is you don't deserve shit. There is no redeeming quality in you. Sob stories don't mean anything. You haven't suffered so much that you will be redeemed because of it.

The story is about forgiveness. That is just the start too. Your ideas of Government,  and Politics,  and flags, and society don't mean shit either. It is how the World masks itself.

You are not the brightest, and you are not the bestest. There is no such thing. You are one of many people who walked the Earth. All tied to their times. Whatever that was.

Blacks were slaves. Jews were slaves. I don't know what kind of shit storm you call the Crusades. I don't know what kind of shit storm was going on during WWll.

Just shit people lived through. On we go with our lives. We say this and that. We do any number of things, but we are in the wilderness, so nothing matters.

People aren't perfect,  kids aren't perfect,  truth of it all is life is hard. It is a shit storm. A shit storm with consequences.

Try taking judgement out of your heart. No chance. It is what we do best.

In life we want to be judged on the curve. Compared to others we are looking pretty good. The truth goes all the way sadly.  You are judged on you. In that regard we all stand the same. We all fall short.

All your labor,  and all your sacrifices don't mean shit. Life is failure. We are not born perfect,  and you can't whip your imperfection out of you.

I know the truth, and I know my story. I will continue to eat, drink, and be as merry as I can. It typically falls under the category of work, eat, sleep. It is my gift for coming this far.

I still have another thing to do. I will choose to go too,  cuz I have been given a courageous heart. I've suffered enough to know this will be no joke. I'll have help to see me through,  cuz I cannot do this on my own. I never would have been strong enough.

I guess you will continue to wander around in circles in the wilderness. Seeking for that piece of you that is redeeming above all others. You won't find it, cuz none of us are that person.

On our own we just continue making our own shit show.  :)  haha.  :)

I know you want life to mean something, but you will be surprised the true nature of our time here.

Our hearts on our own cannot even comprehend it.

Crazy crazy.

Anyways I am up early as Hell. I'll finish my coffee, take Hope,  and do dishes.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  looks like I can ignore the NFL for the rest of the year.  Sweet.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)