This Will Be A Struggle... Maybe.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I slept good last night. I watched some movies yesterday, and read some. It seems I had more time after work to chill yesterday.  I don't really do much.

I kinda am a bit hobbled. So much so Lisa is actually going to make a Dr. appointment for me. I have an unnatural pain/irritation in my back. It isn't like a muscle thing, but something internal. Like a kidney infection or something. How you pick those up is, anyone's  guess, but there are by my count like 462 organs in your core,  so who knows??  I know it is a bit debilitating,  cuz I am popping aspirin.

Other than that not much going on. Another day is done, and another one is starting. Today will probably be very much like yesterday. I have no problem with that.

This World is kinda a crazy place,  and our lives are pretty ridiculous really. At some point in time I think most people wanted to make their mark in the World somehow. Just so we matter. So this life isn't just a complete waste of time.

Personally I know we don't matter much. One of the many who called this place their home. We are born into this World as imperfect kids pooping in our pants. On our road to growing up we never get any closer to the perfect thing. We are good at rationalizing shit though, so we say it is okay.  I am normal. Maybe for some they don't think it is okay so they labor excessively, cuz that will give us the respect of our peers,  and it will help drown out our bad thoughts,  and stuff.

Life is failure. People can win at various World type things, but we lose the battle vs. ourselves every day.

These days I feel many people want to prove their Sainthood,  but I am not sure what people look at.

As I wrote yesterday I currently have the wilderness in me. In the wilderness there is nothing of value,  and that is the lens I look through.

It makes very little important. So I don't care about politics, and the ways of the World. It is of no use, and it is of no importance. None of that stuff leads to perfection. It is things people do to waste time.

Life has a lot of time, and in the end wasting it is what we do. Why???  Cuz there isn't much to do. Nothing worth any points or being worthwhile anyway.

People still deceive themselves though. Is there happiness if in the long run we don't even matter??  Sure there is, but not if you cling to that which is untrue.

Anyways, I am outta here.

Later.