Love/Hate

I sometimes have a love hate relationship with this blog.  I wake up early to do it, and some days like today I would rather be sleeping, but my internal time clock went off, and I was up.  Even if I am tired.  So today I am thinking I have absolutely nothing to write about.  Why in the heck do I do this??  Then I remember.  Even if I have nothing to write I still offer support.  That is probably why this blog is so weird too... or at least one of the things.  How???  Why???  etc...  I know this is weird, because I do know what it is like to be normal.  As a matter of fact I was pretty normal when I lived in Normal, IL   :P  

Internally filled with unhappiness at times.  Life wasn't perfect, but I wanted to be a nice and good guy.  I wanted to be a nice and good guy, but I didn't know how.  Trust me my biggest goal in life was to be nice.  I wanted that, but I really was so imperfect.  What a strange time my changes started happening too.  A lot of external events help shaping how I think.  I had some real life non comic book version bouts of suffering too.  Things I could never tell anyone.  I can  tell you all kinds of things that I saw.  That was a solo journey.  Me being shown things for whatever reason. 

I try to get a feel for what people think, and it is hard.  I have a feeling the truth is breaking you down a bit.  Internally I would have to guess most of us want to be pretty fabulous people, and you think it is within your power.  Slight change here, and a slight change there, but also you are on your own personal journey.  You are being shown things, and you are finding out a lot about you.  Don't worry if you don't like everything about you, because you are not perfect.  We all have bad shit in us.  Remember I said the hardest thing you ever have to do is be honest.  You would think something like that would be easy as hell, but it isn't is it??  Internally we always judge ourselves against Hitler, and other people like that, but the avenue is to just judge yourself with the mirror.  That is it.  Your path is a personal one, because none have walked in your shoes.  There is no, yeah but he did that and he did that.  Yeah, he did do that, but you never walked in his shoes.  You never saw his quiet moments when he was 16 wondering his way in life??  It is easy to judge at what a person does, but his actions have a story.  The story is his life. 

It really is hard to focus on just us sometimes, because the world can be a pretty busy place, but it is a good thing to do.  You will remember stuff when you need to.

I am adding again.  I am adding Teaching Melissa to xoxoxoxoxo.  She was an important part of my story.  If you remember a vacation a couple summers ago.  This was during a rocky time with Nancy O'Toole and her.  It made it a hard time for me too.  She is a Twitter person I follow who doesn't follow me back.  You know that doesn't usually sit well with me, although I have my favorites like Avril Lavigne, and Atrios.  Why Teaching Melissa???  On the strength of Olga she is an Atrios or an Avril Lavigne to me.  Trust goes a long way huh??  A powerful force that can strengthen relationships huh??

Never underestimate the importance of Olga.  Out of the blue comes the quid pro quo, and look how far that has taken us.

and now for something completely different...

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Ken, Jerry, and I ran our 6 miler last night.  We asked Jerry how he liked his fast Sunday run.  LOL.  We laughed, he really had a nice tempo run.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D