Title, Coffee, Blog... How I roll...

Hold on, I will be right back.  I have to get me some coffee first.  :) 

Oh dear, I really don't have much today, so guess I will have to wing it.  As usual.  :)  I messed up my run yesterday.  I didn't sleep that great again, even though I went to bed early.  So I didn't run to work, because I really hate the dragging ass at work, and when I run tired it really makes it worse.  I brought my stuff to run home from work though.  It is a 3.5 mile run, each way.  I was too tired though, so I didn't.  It is amazing how much freedom you have when not training for anything.  If I was training for a marathon or something, I would definitely get in my workouts, and now it isn't that important to me if I miss it.  If I were confident of the future, which I am not, I would probably start base building now for winter training.  (sorry, I said it)

I have things I can share, but I'd like to not share them.  I have a feeling you see, and know some things, but you don't want to see, and you don't want to know.  I hear you.  You know there was this one time when I suffered for 6 straight days.  6 days I did not eat hardly, and nothing more I wanted than to be dead, and better yet not be born.  I was completely demolished as a person.  Not only that, but I thought I was destined to spend eternity in a place you would rather not.  Talk about walking like a zombie.  No hope, and nothing but despair.  Now that sucks.  I was lifted up.  Everywhere I looked there were a ton of birds at the top of the trees.  I read and read and read, and the sword was friendly.  I was secure, and I was on the right side of being on the right side.  Then once again it was all taken away.  I had to go out, and find my way, and I found it.  I found the way.  It is something I have to do, and I am willing to do.  I have to go somewhere where there is no hope, and nothing but despair.  I will have help, and that will be why I will have no fear. 

I even had a trial run so to speak, of how it will happen.  Nothing I planned or did, but it just happened.  I could point to it, but doubt it would make much sense to you, and may seem a bit wacky.  One of the hard things to do is believe the scary stuff.  You want to tell yourself it isn't true, but be open, because the path is not easy, but with help you can do it.  Don't harden your hearts when you are shown something.  Just believe, even if it is scary or yucky. 

Like Gina says, "you will never be given more than what you can handle".  Although I have been on the brink, and over, and still he lifted me up. 

Life isn't always sugar and cream and all the nice stuff.  I am pretty sure you have a vision of that already.  Why??  who knows, and yeah kinda makes Solomon's and Job's words ring true. 

There you have it.  The truth is a bitch, so being strong is being honest, and being strong is believing the good, and the bad.  There are so many levels of that too.  Within ourselves, and around the world.  Everything you see can be a lesson of some sort. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I hate bringing the heavy posts like this.  booooo

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D