Desire

What does get you out of bed in the morning??  You know for some people that is a job in itself.   You know what used to be easy was me doing this blog thing.  It seems like I am running out of things to say.  You know "The Wait" is approaching one year now.  :)  Maybe it is because I don't do any workouts so to speak at all.  I hate the trainer.  It is the most gross piece of shit out there.  :)   So there, you heard it from me first.  :)  lol

I like running, because I like the way it makes me feel.  It is why one would tend to drink too, just for the way it makes one feel.  You know our path would be so much easier if people didn't judge.  We just can't help ourselves can we??  Do we judge, because we think we do things the right way, or we know the right way??  I do less of that than you so I am better??  I don't feel particularly judged right now.  I don't take kindly to it though.  Been through too much of it, and it doesn't fit my personality anymore to be judged.  :)  I don't do it either, because who is so perfect right??  Isn't it interesting the only thing we really really have to do is look at ourself??  That is it!!   It makes us feel better to measure ourselves via others who we may deem to be not so good, but it leads nowhere.  Truth is none of us are so good.  We all are imperfect in our eyes, but the eyes that really really matter doesn't see any of that shit.  Blind to all imperfections, because what is imperfect? 

You know what I wrote??  I said it would be easier to walk with sight huh?  That is not what we do though is it, we walk with trust.  We trust the one who has the perfect sight, and that he leads us in a good way.  You know what I had to learn??  As far as being bad, I was the worst (in religious terms)  I was a woe.  I was a scribe, pharisee, and hypocrite.  I was "told" and outside the garbage room at Bromenn Healthcare I had to do something.  I was obedient, and did it.  I asked why did you let me get sooooooo far awayyyyyy???  Wanna know what he said???  To save more lives.  It sure didn't feel like that.  You wanna know what else I learned??   I cannot save myself, and no one can.  Our Journey is a solo one of sorts between you and your maker.  Some readers don't even believe in God, and that is fine with me.  He can reveal himself whenever he wants.  That means nothing anyway.  Believe when he talks, that is what leads the way.  He talks through your heart, and through your mind.  He is the God of the living right?? 

You know I knew things were going to start up again.  I knew since after the hospital.  Did I know it was going to be like from 1992- 2009??  no.  I bet I was right though.  I bet that believing part, never doubting was God's time.  Remember my end of the Journey??  He gets enjoyment out of that.  He makes everyone wait, because that really is what faith is all about.  :) 

I wanna put a big ole shout out to Iron Min.  I don't know if she reads me or not, but she is freaking great.  :)  You all are though.  :)

Ha Ha Ha!!  I swear I had nothing today.  :)  Guess I found a little somethin somethin.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. shooting for a Saturday return to running.  Oh, I also wanna let you know what happened in the Hockey.  Ashley's U.S.A. team took 4th.  They didn't bring Div 1 Scholarship girls for some reason.  She was Captain of the team, and she said it was a great experience.  She can return to drinking again.  :)   lol.  j/k.  She has her playoffs this weekend.  I may check it out.  We'll see.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You all are the best.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Like to throw extra of these for my Welsh friends.   xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Now for really really cya cya cya!!!!   :)