My Day Starts Early.

My day definitely starts early, or I like it to anyway.  I guess it's a habit. I like this early time. I am up a couple hours typically before work.

Yesterday was okay as far as days go. We worked a little late, and I stopped on my way home. So basically I didn't do anything after work, but chill, and then made chicken enchiladas. That stuff is so ridiculously good,  and easy to make. It totally hit the spot. The day before I made ribs that fell off the bone with double baked potatoes. That doesn't really mean anything except you can eat pretty good meals pretty cheaply. How much would you spend going out, and buying for yourself, or 5 people?  A lot.

My life is simple like that. Work,  and eat something for dinner. My house is comfortable. I love the extra room we added by putting the vent free fireplace in the breezeway. It's so comfortable. Our house i feel is insulated ridiculously. I never hear our furnace go on. Granted it's usually around 40- 50 degrees out, but I swear I never hear it.

I don't feel I am anxious about anything. I am in no hurry for the future. The days change. Pretty regularly too. Like every 24 hours or so.   ;)  Today is as good as any other.  I guess one thing about me is I am not looking toward better days. Today is fine,  I don't need anything to be any better. There is no gold at the end of the rainbow. I am here. It's fine, I don't need gold.

I don't really know what makes a person think money is the key to happiness.  Happiness comes from our heart. It's one thing we have no control over.

Me knowing you a little better than you do is kinda trippy I guess. I don't really dwell on it. I live my day to day, and go with the flow. I just know others are missing out on stuff,  but they don't know it.

There is social media stuff,  but what do you want to show people. There isn't much to share is there?  We all have our lives. Our day to day that goes on, and nothing really means anything.

Without a content heart I would think life would be challenging. Always yearning. Always striving. For what?  Money?  Recognition?  You strive for a content heart. You go in any number of directions, and it is something you cannot create for yourself. A person born of this World is trapped inside. You want a care free heart, but no ways of the World will help you. It's out of your power. No matter what you didn't create for yourself some really special and excellent life. You just did what others did. Follow different winds at different times to where it lead.

My path I was totally blind to. No clue what I was doing. I was obedient though, for I knew the ramifications. My job was not to be perfect,  although I wanted it for security. My job is to overcome 3 times. Mostly live it, and experience it, because my heart is given strength to overcome. I cannot do any of it on my own. My heart is just strengthened to do what it must. I cannot even imagine the 3rd time. That may be scary. I'll be given courage though, cuz this vessel will have to be created new. As I am now I cannot be filled with perfection. I guess my new vessel will be created by fire.

Lol. You have absolutely no idea what I am talking about. 

Anyhoo,  I spose. 

Have a good one.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.   :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Bye.    :)))

OMG, I Have So Much To Tell You.

J/k.   ;)

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Yesterday was pretty good as far as days go. I slept til 7:44 AM. I woke up thinking it was 4:00 AM, but it was almost 8:00 AM. That was good. I got most of my shit done on Sunday before work, so I pretty much had the whole day. I worked out, ran a couple errands, then basically chilled,  made a meal, and that was it.

I seriously have nothing too pressing going on right now. No more major projects til Spring,  and we really only have one. The driveway.

Really all we have to do is organize, and some finish work stuff. Nothing hard at all. So I guess I can relax. More than I normally do anyway. It's a good time for me I guess.

Other than that not much going on. Work, eat, sleep with a Monday off.  I am at peace I guess. Nothing really significant about me or my life. No great projects to tackle. No momentous whatever in my future. Life I guess is easy for me, and I suppose that means it must not be for you.

I know this, cuz I did not create my easy life. How I would be now if I didn't do what I did before I have no clue. The new me knows not the old me.  The new me wakes up like this most mornings.

I have nothing to prove. I need not any trophies. Accolades I have no use for. Life is just simple, and that stems from how my heart is. In our effort to create the perfect life we will fail. Our hearts go astray on any number of occasions. What will drive you nuts is we cannot keep ourselves in a box. We cannot get rid of the noisy World. There is always shit to worry about.

A content life is a most impossible thing to create,  yet I live one. Not because I created it, but rather my heart is made to feel that way.   I see no other person I'd rather be than me. No other life I'd rather live than mine.

I'd call it something like the meaning of success or whatever, but I did not create me. I am a product of the turn made decades ago. I did not create this person I am now,  and where I am you cannot stand. There is a chasm between us, and I cannot close the gap between you and I. It will be closed at some time. Maybe after the third and final thing I must do. Not sure, but if that is the case that means this blog is of no use. It doesn't do anything. It probably does, but I am not sure what. I just do as my heart feels, so...

Anyhoo, gotta run.

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Bye.   :)))

A Title Is Becoming The Hardest Thing.

These days it seems I sit thinking about a title forever. Writing this isn't hard. I don't know if I ever really know what I'll write. I just start, and see what comes up.

I don't know how I did it,  but I finished everything this week I wanted. I had some outside stuff to finish up before the weather turns. It's all done,  and Halloween isn't here yet.

I guess I don't really have much to write about. Life goes on. I guess I had a thought last night while supper was cooking. A thought I have not a thing to worry about. I am healthy,  active,  doing fine financially. I work, and bring money in. Work to me is mostly entertaining and fun. It's work,  so you have to work, but one job is mostly fun, and the other I listen to books while I work.

I know I am lucky,  and it is quite unique to be in my position. You cannot create that feeling I had last night. It is that little disconnect that makes me wonder of others. The struggles people deal with in life. I have a feeling people are always trying to measure up. Be as good as some ideal. Be as good as some other person, and how you perceive them.

No one should be looked up to. You are looking at a lot of imperfection wherever you look. No one lives up to any kind of ideal person. In the end we believe lies. Our eyes don't really see the truth, or comprehend it. We seek for Saints, and there are none.

So now what?  Life is supposed to be this grand thing, and it isn't. People are supposed to be remarkabke creatures, and they aren't. This World is supposed to be amazing, and it isn't.

We were born in a place where bad information is everywhere. Taught to believe things that aren't true. We put our faith in lies. Life sure is disappointing, because we grow up with false expectations. I guess we all suppress shit we aren't supposed to think. Sacrifice in areas, so as to improve our self worth.

Life is pretty ridiculous, and kinda filled with ridiculous people. I don't know how others skate through, when I know they will not feel how I do. At this point I cannot even help you in the slightest. You were given a coin,  but you chose the World. Nothing about this place brings happiness. Just look around. Everyone seems mad about something.

Anyways, it is good to be me. So many years have passed since I started on my journey. I still am not done,  but really has anything been really that hard for me since overcoming the 2nd time? We did have the draught years, so doing this thing was hard. These days a title isn't always easy to come up with. Other than that though.

Being assured of being on the right side of being right is a good feeling. Everyone I guess thinks they are in that same position. They are wrong though. Their foundation is built in the sand. Built on lies.  False teachers are plentiful, and unknowingly they lead many astray.

We are born thinking we are right, and it took me a lot to learn I couldn't be more wrong. So I went on my path of learning. It will once again lead me to great suffering,  but I am willing. Have been for a long time.

Anyhoo. 

Gotta run.   :)

Have fun.     :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.     :)

Laterzzz.     :)

Bye.    :)))

It Was Just A Week Ago Or So.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. It seems like it was just a week ago I was wondering how my to do list got so large. Here I sit with most things done. We expanded our driveway with a lot of gravel. Vent free heater is installed in the breezeway. Insulated up top. Circular tiles above the garage is done.  Electrical is done in the breezeway,  except for finish work. I even pulled my tomato plants out, and put them in the yard bin. Cut the grass for the last time too, except for bagging up leaves. That means I'll have to run the lawnmower like 5 more times still.

I have taken a week off from working out. Not really intentional,  but I think I jacked up my back while I was in the airplane. Nothing crazy, but just a little sore.  I am fine now. I can go today after work, cuz my little project today shouldn't take much time.

This is a pretty good time of year I guess. I am acclimating to the change in temps.  Really it's just good to get a bunch of shit done.

I guess it's time to think of Spring projects for next year, and it won't be so stupid busy like this year. We got most of our shit done. We have some things,  but hopefully we'll have everything organized.

Pretty soon the Holidays will be here. There will be a window of being stupid crazy busy at work,  and before you know it the year will turn over into a new one.  I guess this year has been quite a year.

Other than that not much. Yesterday was quite productive after work. It probably helped I slept in as late as I could.

Today will be a day. It shouldn't be too crazy. My days typically are pretty okay. I may even have a 2nd cup of coffee before my run.

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Bye.    :)))

Unexpected.

So a strange for me thing happened yesterday. I went to bed early Wednesday night. I didn't wake up to any of my early alarms. Basically slept as long as I could. I thought I'd be bouncing off the walls with energy, but I was tired still yesterday. Like maybe I was battling a cold or something. Today I am fine, so I guess all is good.  

Also we had in total 4 yards of rock delivered the last two days. The area at the end of our yard has now got fabric and gravel down for parking. It's what we use the area for anyway. My dad did 90% of the work too. I did very little. It came out good.

So basically life goes on. Obviously nothing too important going on with me.  Even this update seems dumb to me. It seems dumb cuz it is.

Who gives a fuck about my boring life?  It is pretty simple I guess. I do the work thing, and the rest of the day is mine. I don't really have to stress about much. My life isn't special,  or unique really. I guess it has been unique, but right now it is just plain easy. I see people for how we are. Not gifted or creative really. Not special you know? 

We aren't smarter than others.  Our life really doesn't matter. There are no people of virtue who surround us. Every person you look at is not virtuous.  They may try to fake it though. There are no heroes. No one to look up to. No one we should try to emulate,  cuz all have their own struggles.

I think the main struggle with life is people think it is more than it is. Like this is supposed to be special or something. It isn't. You haven't carved some special niche out if life,  and you never will. On your own you won't become content. You will not become a saint. Destined to fail you are, and you cannot fake your way out of it.

Something has been bugging me since yesterday. I saw a customer at work. She looked familiar kinda, but I can't place it. Where have I seen her before?  I got caught staring at her trying to figure it out.    :)  I should have just asked her where she works or something. I cannot place her. One of those weird things. 

Anyway, I guess I am back to my normal self. Doing the life thing as it comes. Wake up without much to worry about, and the day will progress the same. Work,  eat, sleep.

Right now, I gotta run. 

Have fun.   :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.    :)

Bye.   :)))

I Could Sit Here All Day.

I definitely would have sit here all day trying to come up with a title. I got none. Yesterday was an okay day. My biggest annoyance was a knot I have in my butt. I don't know how I got it. Also I was sore from my Monday workout. So basically if I moved yesterday it hurt.  I worked so I moved a lot. My butt feels like I accidentally sat on a tennis ball for like 20 hours. No clue where that came from.

We got our vent free stove put in. If you've been around these parts you'll remember Jerry who I used to run with a lot. He's a plumber, and he fit time in his schedule to hook me up. He cut in to our natural gas supply outside and ran cssx tube to our breezeway. Natural gas instead of propane will save us money. Our breezeway will be heated,  and we have a big area for our house plants. I am sitting out here now.

Other than that not much. I feel if my sleep was a bit out of whack I caught up last night. I had a couple cocktails,  ate dinner, and crashed. Putting the work, eat, sleep motto to good use. I have to move a bunch of rock today. We are getting a yard shipped. I am going to put gravel down where people park at the end of our yard. I'll probably just come straight home today instead of working out. Just to get it done. My dad said he'd help too, with what he can.

So life goes on. I am out of coffee which sucks.  One of the days I would really like a cup. I am not sure about running this morning, cuz of my butt. I guess I might as well. I ran yesterday, and it felt pretty good. I don't know if it will aggravate my butt or not. I can always use the foam roller after I guess. Maybe find a tennis ball.

So, I got my routine. I will work today,  I got shit to do after. There will be a meal too. It's all one could ask for. I wonder what my outlook would be like now if I were just the person who was born here.  Would work be a grind?  Would I feel like a better life is somewhere else? People sometimes say they want to live their best life. I found that avenue.  It isn't anything like lifestyles of the rich and famous.

I don't know how you'd explain it. It comes from a different heart I guess. One not of this World. It comes from a life you didn't create.  It's not one you can really see either. As a person born in this World you see wealth as a source of happiness,  and contentment perhaps. It's the best the World can offer. It's all a heart of this World can see. The turning point for any person is being able to see their life is only one coin. Nothing more. Only then can you overpower the World.  As I write this now I see why we went in the wilderness. So you can get good vision.

Remember I said I wouldn't have taken you in the wilderness cuz it is brutal. After a year or so I see why we went. To help you.

It figures.  See how I do stuff, and I have no clue why, and then it hits me why we did it.

Pretty cool.

Anyhoo, gotta run.

Have fun.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.    :)

Laterzzz.     :)

Bye.    :)))

Just Like That Fall Is Here.

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine. Life is back to normal. I worked Saturday and Sunday. Yesterday, I had off, and well, today I work.  somehow my to do list got a million miles long. I have no idea how that happened. Fall is here too, so leaves will be falling.

There really isn't much on my mind. Life goes on, until it doesn't. I find it kinda strange where people think in life there is nothing you can't accomplish if you work hard, and yadda yadda yadda. Well, you will die,  and I don't care what lengths you go to, you won't change it. People will tell you they see the big picture, but obviously they don't.

In just a couple years after you pass most of your life will be forgotten. Loved ones may think of  you once in a while, but less and less as time goes on.

I don't find that sad at all, just the reality of it all. I mean at my moment of searching I guess I wanted to live a life that mattered, but it really won't. I mean, yeah I have a story not of my making. Not of my planning either. One I kinda got thrown in, and really there ended up being a lot of downtime in this story. Never really knowing the timing of things,  I guess I always thought things would be done sooner rather than later.

Time is something people worry about, because one day you are young, and two weeks later you are 50.  Rocks aren't concerned with time. Things not bound by time aren't either.

I'd say your time is short so don't be mad about stuff, but people don't control their outlook. Every day almost I see angry people. Yikes.

When I was in S.A. I saw a lot of people in the service industry. I don't know where they lived, but people seemed okay. I can't imagine a ton were making a lot of money. They seemed to have mostly a decent disposition. I couldn't think of any reason for it, but I guess I like it. Good for them you know? 

So anyway, I got a lot to do. How that happens I don't really know, but it does.

I'll keep plugging along. I'll be back in my routine today, and I don't want to go on vacation for a long time.  :)  I like my routine better I guess. Work, eat, sleep.

My disposition is pretty okay too I guess. Mostly just cuz my heart is fine with my lot in life.  In the end I will have done good.  I guess that is more important than really mattering. I'm fine with that too. This heart doesn't need much, and I am grateful for that. 

Anyhoo, guess I better go. 

Laterzzz.    :)

xoxo.    :)

xxoo.     :)

Bye.    :)))