Some Things You Don't Expect.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. Today is New Years Eve. Typically I give myself a 5% chance of staying up til midnight on these days. I never stay up til midnight. I may wake up for the day at midnight, but not the other way around. Last night??  I stayed up til midnight watching the football game.

Throw all the rules out.  :)  I kept thinking one more drive, and I am going to bed. It didn't look good for MI, but they made a game of it, and it was exciting.

So that's that. Today I have to work a bit. There is a little shin dig at the bakery I may stop by. Depends how I feel after work. That's about it. I have all of tomorrow off, and back to my routine. Next day off for me probably is Memorial Day.

Also I don't really find time to do a lot of reading, so I've been doing audio books. I got the 2nd Game Of Thrones checked out. I think they have most  of those to listen to for free from our library.

That's about it for me. Nothing too exciting going on here. I guess tomorrow we start a New Year, and on Monday I'll be in my full routine.

What will this year have??  Probably not much. It is just life you know. We pile up the days in our little lives.  One after another. One day they all end though. The truth of life is more apparent if we look to the end. Not the day to day of whatever it is we fill our time with.

Anyways I woke up early enough so I wrote a little.

Nothing too terribly important. Maybe that is what this year will be like.  My stupid little life.  I think all the prior ones were too.  :)

I'm gonna call it a day. 

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

For Whom The Bell Tolls.

Why in the World would anyone use that as a title for their book??  I read that book. It was okay. That guy was always drinking wine if I remember. I think it was a sad ending, but don't really remember. I believe it was a time where I wanted to read every book in the World. All the classics, and every History book. I did achieve that goal BTW. ;)

Today I slept in a bit. Midway after my early alarm, but before my late alarm. It is why I am doing this even though I got nothing really on my mind.

Yesterday was pretty okay. I wasn't tired when i got home,  and I cleaned up the kitchen. I also made dinner. Steak fajitas. I haven't been to the Mexican store in a while. It was a day not unlike many others. I have a cup of coffee,  and I feel pretty good.

As far as blogging goes, for the people I see I am the only one who really does it. Like most people I have nothing important or exciting to blog about. I know that to be the case though. It doesn't bug me. I can trust what will come out of my heart I guess.

It seems there is less and less of me. Eventually all this runs out I guess. Not sure how all that plays out. It seems blogging was a part of this story,  but no one does it really,  so maybe not. Either way not a big deal.

It isn't my story. What does it say, faith believes all things,  hopes all things,  and endures all things.

You'll find believes all things can take you down many roads. Probably bad ones too if the voices aren't good ones. I didn't exactly have a good voice in me during my bad Summer. A Summer of learning. To think I'll never have to do that again.

What is your story??   We don't know. We don't know you. As a person you've been poisoned by the World,   you do this and that because. Not yet facing the tough questions. We all are born into this World. We do whatever our society kinda leads us to do.

I threw everything out decades ago. Why should my future be tied to anyone else?  I decided to stand alone. I kinda went into the wild sorta,  without the travel. I think I looked for a meaning to life,  and at some point realized there was none. Nothing really important to do. Nothing real significant. I had a life before me, and i saw my end.

The answer for me was if there is some reason I am here, let me do that instead of anything else. (The turn) 

You'll find my purpose was not a job or a career. My life's purpose is my story. I eventually achieve stuff although not much can be seen currently. My story was to learn. I was to suffer to see the truth of life. My story is different than any other,  but I follow the path others before me have. That part is hidden kinda. Hidden,  because the path is impossible. It isn't ours to make. The path is written,  but none believe it. Why??  In a World we control,  in a life we are the decision makers,  the truth suggests you are not in control.  The decisions you make don't take you on a better path.

In a World we are all powerful,  the truth suggests you are not. In a World where you are close to omniscient you aren't.

In a World where you are arrogant you should be far from that. In your World your heart isn't right. It is out of your power to change it either.

Soooo

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I think I'll drive to work, and maybe see the Star Wars movie after.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D      :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.   :)

The end.  :)

Finishing Up This Year.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  I guess I am fine. I didn't really feel like getting up to blog,  but I realized before my alarm went off I was done sleeping.

So I guess I'll try to do this. Yesterday I was back to work,  and back to my routine. I'd have to say I like my routine better than taking days off. Monday was okay, cuz I got all the laundry done,  folded, and put away. All the dishes done too. The house was clean,  but the kitchen is already trashed this morning.

Yesterday was pretty normal. Nothing significant or exciting happened at all. Kinda like this blog really.

I guess life continues to go on. People continue to die. Been that way forever. I guess our generation is the first to have social networking so now people realize it more, cuz they see it more. People pretend to care more too. Surprised this stuff happens.

We were talking about people getting older last week. You talk about people who were famous in the late 70s and 80's,  and they have aged. I thought about that a while,  and realized I am 50. Closer and closer to the end line.

What are the important and significant things I've done in my life. Perhaps a list :

1.

That's it. Another easy list for me.  :)

We all are in the same boat there. Not sure if anyone knows it. Perhaps not. Perhaps this shit actually means something to people. More likely they think it does.

Solomon did all kindsa shit. His bucket list was overflowing with all the things he did. He found out later how dumb that was. When your hearts are right your life will boil down to eat, drink, and be merry. For me it is work,  eat, sleep.

In the end you won't need to accomplish anything,  cuz there is nothing to accomplish.

There will still be holidays and birthdays,  engagements,  and anniversaries. Eventually you'll place no more importance in them,  because they are just another day in your life.

A life fulfilled is different than you think. It comes from how your heart is,  and we are not born with a proper one. It actually is something that is out of reach.

I've been given the impossible task to help people along that route. I guess as my whole life past the turn is impossible,  so is my job.

Like I learned way long ago, it is out of my hands. I am kinda on the sidelines seeing how it plays out. I also am interested in less and less things.

I do get to work today. There will be a dinner. I slept good last night too, so today is shaping up already. :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I think I'll take the Hopester. I am going to return movies. I bet it is around 2 miles there and back.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

The end.   :)

The Year In Review.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am doing good. I had a really lazy day yesterday. I just watched movies on Netflix all day. We ate a dinner. I don't really get to do that ever. It will be nice to have a normal day today. It too is a day off.

I thought I'd do a little year in review,  because not much really happened this year. Not much of a review.

In this blog it appears the wilderness came out. The area of life where people don't matter. We serve no purpose here, and in the end we don't matter. 

All along we were taught we are important. Our lives matter. That is the World's teaching though. That goes against the truth.

That's about it as far as this year goes. I have a pretty set schedule that will see me working most days this upcoming year. That is fine with me. Yesterday I had a day off and didn't do shit.

This blog has gone on for several years. This year was okay I'd say. If I woke up on time I tried to blog. Some days I had absolutely nothing come out.

I stayed active biking and running. Even at the end of the year actually tried to get better. Fast for me as they say.

That's about it in a nutshell. Nothing is too terribly important to me. I work,  eat, sleep. Hope to have a good day every day. My dinner is important,  and my sleep is important. Working gives my life structure, cuz otherwise I can be a lazy ass.

For a long time I've known my last thing I must do as the current version of me. I've known that part for probably approaching 3 decades. It hasn't changed. 3 times I must overcome,  and 2 times its been done. Since the start of this blog here, which is approaching 1800 entries. I didn't know your purpose though.

Now I think your purpose is to go through the wilderness to see the truth of life. We are here a few years, and we die. We didn't live a perfect life. Any of us. Most people attach themselves to a group,  and call themselves good enough. You bet the whole farm on that.

In the wilderness nothing really matters. You get no points for having a family. Everyone does. You get no points for having kids, cuz that has been done forever. Points come from hard things. Points come from dealing with the truth. The wilderness helps you see it.

I have no idea what this upcoming year will be like. A lot of people hide and try to disappear. That is your choice. I still do what I do.

So I guess that's it. 

I don't feel like typing call that other stuff.

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

Have a good one.   :)

A Break.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. It's been a busy week. Every holiday in the bakery business is busy. Christmas is ridiculous. You just cannot make enough stuff. You never realize how much work goes into baking. I am approaching 2 years now,  so getting to know it more. Personally what I do every day I had a ton of help this week. Typically my job is a one man job,  but the brothers stepped in and helped me a ton.

It will be a good holiday for their business, and still you can't help but  think we could have made more. Pretty crazy.

Anyhoo I have not run since Tuesday. I pretty much decided to wait til this week was over. My hours were getting longer,  and I started sleeping later and later. I work today,  and I have the next two days off.

Also I do not really sacrifice any days. I always expect to have a good dinner, and a few hours of downtime to just chill. So this week had prime rib, lasagna, we got some take out one night. I don't remember what else,  but every day was still good. Still fun.

That's kinda what you want of life. Do the labor required of you, and have fun for a bit after. If lucky the labor you do is fun, and you feel like you accomplished something.

To win life your heart has to be right. I won life. It is quite a long story. I don't need to rehash it. I know I have some things you don't have. I've been how I am quite a long time, and that puts a disconnect between you and I.

I don't know what that means for you. For me, I am not worried about me. My future is certain. I know my path. I can live out my days as I do now forever. This shit is easy for me.

Maybe eventually what I do is wear you down. You keep seeing me, and maybe you wonder if you are missing something.

You are,  but you cannot know what. Reason for that is you cannot know how I am. The shoes I walk in you cannot know.  The path I took is blocked,  save one turn.

Been that way a while.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. today should be a good day.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D        :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.   :)

The end.  :)

A Little Luck.

So, I biked to work and back yesterday. The temps were going to warm up finally. Hit 30°+ probably,  so I thought it might be a nice ride home. I didn't count on the  1000 MPH winds, and the drifting on the sidewalks. The ride home was not easy.

I was hoping I'd get a text cancelling the run. I could easily have blown it off. It never came,  so I relaxed/napped for an hour. I was running late, cuz I had to get gas in the truck.

Anyway, I made it to the run. I was in the store looking for the short plumber, and I didn't see him. I was basically at a run with a bunch of people I didn't know. They were just waiting. Some were going to run a route, and others the snow melt. I just took off.

I had a route I thought of last week, and I ran it. It wasn't a particularly fast run, but it was the distance I predicted it would be. Normally I would have run a loop on the snow melt to get the total distance I wanted, but I was glad I got the run in. I didn't want to on my way home from work,  so that's a win.

Other than that not much going on. Being in the wilderness is pretty trippy from where I stand. You can list out all the things you can possibly see,  and pretty much check off {doesn't matter} on everything.

I work,  eat, sleep for zero points. Just living my life before me. People want to sometimes show significant things in their life, but they aren't. We just spend a little time above ground. Carving out our little lives. We do this imperfectly. Many have an idea of what a good and decent person does,  so they try to do that.

Check it all off. It doesn't matter. Your deeds do nothing. I don't know if you can see it or accept it.

Your hearts betray you,  cuz they aren't perfect. The timeline of your life isn't perfect. Every turn you made took you down another path of imperfection.

The question you must ask is does it matter?   My answer to you is yes it does. Does it matter you are not the best a person can be? 

Yes that does matter. Your truth falls well short of the absolute truth. That too is a danger.

On your perceived road to Sainthood, you ended up somewhere way different. Now you find yourself in the wilderness, and trapped.

There is nothing of value in the wilderness, and you just run in place.

You are here in your life,  and in the end we don't even matter.

Now I've been through the wilderness. With the full force of condemnation laying over my head. I knew I was there though. I knew what was at stake.

If I tried thinking of some redeeming quality I might have had, it didn't make me feel better.

I just carried my truth. As far as creatures go, I am as ridiculous as the beasts in the field. Alive for no real reason really.

I ended up with a purpose,  but I still am nothing significant. Just a vessel being used. Being used while being imperfect,  cuz it has to be this way. Faithful with unrighteous mammon and all, so I can eventually get the good stuff.

Anyways. I guess that's good.

I may go for a short run since I got time.

Laterzzzzzz.    :)

Some Days...

Some days you wake up with nothing on your mind. That is me today.

Yesterday was pretty okay. Work went fine. Not a terribly long day like I feared. I drove to work,  so I picked up a prime rib to make for dinner. It is always pretty cheap around Christmas time. We also put up a wall mount microwave range hood thingy. They aren't really easy to put in. Lisa figured most of the technical stuff of how to do it, and it is in.

I suck at wanting to do house shit. I can do stuff, I just don't like to.  Add another day down. Another one just starting.

So, what are my plans??  To work,  eat, sleep. Tonight is a run night. I plan on being mostly happy. Mostly upbeat,  cuz I can.

Maybe something strange about me is if I look back on my life I am cool with it. No need for me to strive after wind. Nothing I am chasing. I live my days fulfilled I guess. I wake up most/every morning with a lot of energy.

I am not perfect,  but we all can say that. I know my life, and what it's about. I dealt with me though. I know me through and through. That is where you and I differ. You don't know yourself too well. You are not sure what is inside you that makes you less of what you want to be.

You also don't know why every day isn't groundhogs day for you. Why do you not wake up every day feeling the same way? Well rested with a lot of energy to start the day.

I know relationships aren't perfect. They never are. As we are a bundled up mess of imperfection with mood changes, so is everyone else. Some people may not give a fuck about what you think is so important.

It is life. The World tries to dress it up as this great thing. Life is dirty though. Filled with anger, lust, judging. It is filled with people who think their minds are these great things, and that is the biggest obstacle probably.

The truth of life is hidden from you. Impossible for you to see. It isn't given to those who don't take the right steps. You just remain the creature you were born as.

That matters. You don't want to stay on the path of the multitudes. They have no idea what they are doing.

You don't either,  but you can. It is all right in front of you. To learn about yourself is to learn about others. We all fail. So much is out of our control. I imagine most think much is in our control.

Anyway. I guess that's good.

Laterzzzzzz.   :)