A Pretty Good Sunday.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I worked from 3-8:00 am on Sunday with a good night sleep, so I was able to get some stuff done. All of my laundry is cleaned,  folded, and put away. Lisa's I folded, and put in a basket. All the dishes are cleaned, and put away. That was about it. I made dinner later on, but that is really all I had to do. After that there was nothing to do. I don't know what people do if they have time off. I run out of things quickly. I was thinking of blowing off football, but after watching a couple movies I did watch football. Not that I really cared about the outcomes.

Anyway it is good to start out Monday with all my clothes being in the designated spot. The next two weeks I'll work two jobs on Sunday, so I'll be a bit busier.

Anyhooo, I guess a good Sunday starts out a good Monday. I have time to run before work, so that is good.

Anything else going on??  Nope, not much at all. I guess I just woke up as I usually do. I know me, and I know the way I am. What does it look like inside you??  What is inside your head when you first wake up??  I know how I am, and why. I sorta in ways know how you are kinda. It is different.

I think most people would like to wake up feeling like I do, and there is no equation under the sun. It isn't eating the vegetables, or exercising the correct amount. It isn't doing the dishes or folding the laundry. My formula was a turn way back when. It started with me overcoming myself, and little did I know at the time was that made all the difference.

My story is different than the best things men and women think up to spend the hours of their lives. The truth of the matter is you cannot be like me how I am. It is not in your power. It isn't in mine either.

So yeah the great 'sacrifice' you are asked to make isn't one at all, but you cannot see it. You still remain weak, because society is your security. What men and women have past down from generation to generation is still your only truth. People were just as flawed during any generation.

I have been singled out to find the truth. It ain't no joke either. We must know that in some way, cuz our path leads to our death. That is a pretty significant thing.

Oh well, I guess it is time to run.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I am really lucky to be me.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really really cya cya cya   :D   :D

Lol, this blog. Can you imagine being assured 100% of the way you go??  It is quite a trip. :)

xxoo. :)

Laterzzzzzzzz.  :)

Rush, Rush, Rush.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I sleep like a champ on my day to sleep in. I don't typically go to bed much later than usual, and today I slept til 6:30 am. Crazy. Anyway, I kinda hafta rush cuz I gotta get a run in before work. I keep forgetting to switch my schedule to 10:00 am. It would give me more time, and I could probably have breakfast at my place of employment. I get a ridiculous 50% discount, and Saturday is my best time to take advantage if it.

Anyway, not really much on my mind. I wake up feeling like this most days, and I bet it is how we are different. What have I done to make me be this way?

I can tell you, but you will not be able to understand. How I feel is not done by me. Mostly upbeat is not me. The energy I have is not me. It is something that can be taken away. It was once too for a few days maybe like 7-8 years ago. I was unwilling to live like that anymore, so I gave up. I was so mad. I could not do anymore.

So in spite of my less than perfect self, I was picked up, and put on the right path. What does it all come down to??  None of who I am is special. I have help in every part of being. My strength is not my own. My upbeat heart is a gift. My energy is a gift. I can not make me the best a person can be. I have some pretty good qualities right now that let me help. I can be used as I am now even though I am not perfect.

How that works is right does happen before perfect. Perfect is unattainable on our own, but it is possible. What drives you crazy is you want to be right by being perfect, which is impossible for you. Your steps, if you decide to take them will help you deal with the darkness within, and the imperfection which scares you, and what you try to hide.

Strength comes before perfection. I use the word courage a lot, and courage is really consumed by fear. Fear is a friend, and I hope you have much, cuz fear, and courage walk hand in hand. They are strange bedfellows, but that is how it works. If you have no fear, that would probably be something to be scared about I'd think.

Anyway I gotta run.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for creasing!!!   :)

Hope a Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Should be a good day. Going to scout out a new recipe to cook tonight.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxcxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D  :D

Extras for me again xoxoxoxoxoxoxo.  :)

Laterzzzzz.   Lol

Tacos For Breakfast.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I had a good night sleep last night. It sounds like it is raining, so I will probably drive to work. I had tacos for dinner last night. I totally forgot Lisa had a work thing. I am hungry now, so I am thinking tacos for breakfast. :)

Not much else going on with me. I have various sorenesses all over my body. Getting old sucks if you start using muscles you haven't used in a while. #sheesh.

Other than that not much going on. Heck, I don't even have anything to blog about.

Usually, I at least have something to say. I guess I can say I know some things of life. What are some things all people share in life??

Imperfection. None of us are perfect, but people are all out there judging and shit. Thinking they are better cuz they do this, and that. Perhaps cuz they think this and that.

To be human is a crazy thing. We are always dressing up in some fashion to be this "picture" of who we want to be, but inside us is this lonely person. Afraid to let people know us, cuz we may not know all our darkness inside, but we know some of it. Some demons are so overpowering some people can't even hide it.

I can see it, but can the person??  I don't really know.

I know people want to be strong, and act strong, but help is needed, and maybe people don't even think they need help.

You as a person are a slave to the World. Everybody is different. I imagine being born in Saudi Arabia is different than being born in Israel, etc...  You have no say in where you were born, which makes all thoughts of Nationalism pretty ridiculous in the truth version of life. We were all raised on the propaganda of the day though.

I think a lot of societies have some kind of messed up religious traditions in them. The truth stands alone. It doesn't need Country, Society, or anything. There is only one who was strong enough to overcome the World, and I learned way long ago when I threw everything about me out, that life is different than we think.

I think blogging is quiet, cuz people are scared. I know the truth of the futility of your life, but you don't want to take the step that goes in the right direction so you would rather stay silent.

I know it is scary looking into the great unknown fields I point you in, but I have stressed strength and trust, and this blog is approaching 1500 posts.

Time to put your big people pants on, doncha think??  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope a Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. It really is kinda weird us being on two different sides of life. Me knowing things you don't.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D

Extras for me. :)    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Haha.  Laterzzzzzzzz.   :)

Just Some Things.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am okay. I was still a little tired, and was tempted to sleep til my late alarm, but what the heck.

Anyway, yesterday just out of the blue I looked at the shirt I grabbed, and it was from a race in 2008. I tried to think if I was blogging then. I don't remember what year I started this stuff. I had two blogs before this one, and who can remember the years.

If I take a look back then to what I am now, a lot has changed. I am so different. If I was looking for something out of life back then, I sure am not now. I have found all I need. It doesn't matter what year you look at past the Hospital days. There was always something I knew of my life. I've known a long time the one last thing I must do in my current form, but I did not have any ideas what the days would look like leading up to it. Now I don't worry about any of it.

I can tell you something of me. Last night after work we went for a boat ride on Jacob's boat. It was 70° and sunny in November. I don't drink beer hardly ever, but I had a few Coors Lights. Those are pretty good. I forgot. :)

Anyway, as we were finishing up there was a great sunset. Fantastic colors on the cloudless sky. I kept looking at it thinking that must be quite the spectacle. It really didn't do much for me. I think I kinda realized how lucky I am. I don't look to things from the outside to help me feel better, cuz I just feel good. I am just internally happy, because that is who I am now. My labor is done save one final thing, and I am allowed to live like this. Pretty lucky.

Another thing, as you are riding on Lake Macatawa, you can see a lot of nice waterfront houses. Jacob said he read something to the effect be happy with what you have, or else you will never be satisfied. There was this house that was way to big for whoever owned it, and he was like you keep wanting shit like that, and I don't know. Seems like it will screw up your life.

I thought to myself are people still like that??  Keep up with the Jones'es?? I think I remember the Chicago 'burbs being like that, but I am so far removed from that shit.

Most people I read seem to be so busy with other stuff they just hope they can get the dishes washed a couple times/ week, and all the clothes folded a couple times/ year. :)

Who knows, but I see shit, and I think of things, but most of all I am just really lucky to be me.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Going to get a little run in.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D

I Woke Up To A New Day.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. It seems after this weekend I woke up to a new day. I wanted to do more. I wanted to sleep good, which I typically do. I don't know how to explain it, but I have a positive attitude about me staying healthy for once.  I mean I never get sick, but I get injured a lot. Sooooo that is that. I don't know what you call it.

Yesterday was pretty okay. I'll give you something about me. I wake up early a lot, and yesterday hope, and I had a good run. It was a * my legs are getting fatigued* run.  Haven't had that in forever.

Anyway I felt great. I biked to work on these tired legs, and worked my shift. I felt great though. I want to do more. I bike home, and I am tired. I want to bottle up my energy sometimes I have at the beginning of the day, and save it for later. I came home tired, but I sat down for a bit and then got a few things done in the yard.

Energy and desire are good things. I don't have any point to make, and I have nothing to prove to anyone, but this is just for me. I start off this new day at a pretty good weight. I never step on a scale, but I can put my hands around my wrists, and touch my middle finger to my thumb. That means I am at a good weight. :)

Soooo, that is that. What else is going on??  Not much at all. Living a life in this imperfect body, and doing as I feel. I have no questions that need to be answered, I have no worries about my future, and no concerns really. I can take life for what it has to offer, and I think I am pretty cool with most things.

I have a realistic outlook I guess you can say. I don't look to anyone to give my life meaning. I don't cling to things as a security blanket to say this here is why I am important.

I cannot explain me to you. I have an inner wall of joy I guess you can say. I didn't make it, and it is not in my power to make me feel like this. Today is a new day, and we will see what comes of it.

First off, I am going to get a run in.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Going to be another nice day today.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D

Some a Days Everything Seems Clear...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I slept good last night. I had one of those wake ups where you are not sure what time it is. Is it time to get up?? Close??  It was 11:30 PM. Not quite. I love that. So I have been up a bit before my early alarm, just thinking of stuff.

Wondering how my day will pan out. I was able to skate out of work a little early yesterday, today I have more to do. Yesterday I did not sleep all that great, and last night I had a good night sleep. I have some stuff to do when I get home.

Anyway, what I was thinking about was me. How I feel on the inside. My whole life has been dealt with, and there is nothing in my past I worry about.  I am not afraid or ashamed of anything in my past. My future is wide open as to how I live my life.

I know why I feel the way I do, and I cannot really explain it to you that great. I cannot help you walk in my shoes, but I know your shoes are not as good as mine. You are missing something and you are not sure what.

I kinda feel bad for you, cuz you are not content. Something has to matter. What is the meaning of all this time on Earth??

You know what a tough thing about life is??  I'd say just my walk. If there was a sacrifice or a labor I could do to get what I wanted, I would have done it long ago.

My story was predetermined. At least as far as I see. There was no sacrifice to make, and no labor under the sun. There were words like wait, and patience, and seek. Words of faith not of action.

I've labored plenty, but really it was just my path, and me learning the way.

A life of learning about life, and a life of learning about me.

Anyways my whole life is ahead of me, at least for someone who approaches 50. I don't have a care in the World, cuz my path is well lit.

I can help you very very little, cuz you still have to do your tough stuff. It is a good place to be in life not worrying about anything, which might be imperfect in your life. All lives are filled with that shit too.

We can try to dress it up, but it all still remains. How to get to the spot where we are not afraid or ashamed of us.

If only there was one to teach the way.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Pretty excited about my run I'll be taking Hope on.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH. :)))

xxoo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D

Might As Well Start This Day Super Early.

Hello, and good morning all. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I am done sleeping, so I figured I would just get up now. I was just laying there thinking of things. That is fine, but I remembered I still haven't finished my book, so I might as well do this, and get a run in, and read my book.

So a lot of stuff happened this weekend. First off I get an email from a buddy of mine who lives in the St Louis area telling me two things. First off where I used to work they are opening a store in Independence, Missouri. It is Harry Truman's hometown. He told me it reminded him of the baseball leagues we were in for a bit. My name was the Independence Haberdashers in honor of Harry S. KC just won the WS, and independence is real close to there.

Also he heard a rumor the guy who fired me got himself in trouble at work. The rumor it sounds is true, later corroborated by Lisa. She saw some people where we used to work, and that is what they think happened too.  It is really bad for him, cuz he probably was making $110-$120,000/year.

You don't replace those types of jobs in retail. Not sure if he is fired or demoted, but sounds like there was alcohol on his breath from drinking the night before, and he drives a company car. Alcohol is one thing. Demote the person, send him somewhere in Antarctica like the Twin Cities, but the company car is a brutal wrench. Who knows.?

I got fired making $30,000/ year. I didn't have so far to fall. I was kinda thinking about people who I got to know doing this stuff, and some lives look very different for what that is worth.

Anyway I got to thinking of myself, and I wondered if I could change my life a bit.  It is an easy thing for me to do, because I am not really tied up in anything. Me changing is maybe me doing more running, and other things. Many times after work, I'd have a couple drinks, cook a meal, and fall asleep early. I have plenty of time to do more productive stuff.

I don't think I'd quit drinking alcohol like I did coffee, but maybe I can make a little change, and see what that is like.

So, I also got to thinking about this blog.  Haha. :)

I think of me, and this blog, and I think of others. It is very hard to see how some people think, and how their lives are.  I know me, and the webs of life don't control me. I look in my heart, and it is strong. It is like protected with an unseen shield, and nothing can penetrate it.

Wanna know what happened??  Way back when for that short while of me being full in spirit, I was right, and I was secure. I trusted being full in Spirit. That was taken away, and so was my security. That led to my Summer, and the reproving outside the garbage room at Bromenn Healthcare. I was obedient to go solo, and I lived in constant fear that whole Summer.

I went through that physical depression. My weight jumped from 130-170. I met Natalie, started riding the exercise bike, and some running. I never really felt that great til the energy returned. There was nothing I could do for myself. The things I wanted were not mine to take, so I lived a life waiting. For what exactly who knows, but I knew things were happening once I started reading the running blogs.

Anyhoo, what I really meant to say, besides getting understanding, I do have security, and I have it while being poor in Spirit. I just figured that out. Way back when I wanted to be full in spirit, cuz I wanted security.

The secret to that is we think we know what we need to feel better about stuff, but that may not be the case. We are really dumb, when it comes to this type of stuff.

I tell you one thing though, I feel really good about me, and pretty happy, and excited.

I know I can be a hard ass on this thing, and sorry about that. I just don't know where everyone went. :)

Anyhooooo, I guess that is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xos!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. Sorry so long, and also I took a trip to independence to check out Harry's library, and saw a KC game in like 2000 or something

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo. :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D