I am not sure if that is true or not, but my life is pretty boring. I don't know why people would want to read about it so much. Anyways yesterday after work I sat outside, it was a perfect day. I had a soft rock~y pandora station on. Bread I believe. I left it on, as actually way back when I loved soft rock tunes. I heard a Karen Carpenter song, and I just pictured every person who walked the Earth.
Imperfect, and lacking something inside to make us feel really great about ourselves. Maybe we all walk with a fear of rejection. Maybe we'll do some things to compensate for what we feel our shortcomings are. To me that seems highly likely.
Probably the best part about us is our weak dark side that we are afraid of. It is probably the most interesting part about us, and typically when we hit the age of wanting to deal with that stuff society has already taken hold of us. Instead of dealing with this part of us we live in anger. Maybe we hide everything by making sure we are busy 24/7.
All I know is this powerful dark part of us needs to be dealt with. You need help to do it, because you do not have enough light to be able to see these things.
I've told you that before. I dealt with what I thought all my stuff was back in the 90s and that was for me. That is when my big changes happened. I also dealt with stuff that was purposefully left out in the journey. The end of the journey was the end of 2 of 3. That was probably for you.
Life is this important stuff, and the rest is just silly really.
There really is no need to paint pretty pictures of life, cuz it isn't. Life is cruel, and unfair, as people are. None of us are perfect, but we do judge as if we were.
Like I said before no one is so far away they cannot become the thief. It takes a lot of life for people to make that drastic of a change, and the ability to know we are not all that. That is just being honest with ourselves.
In the end our existence doesn't mean anything. Lucky, and unlucky really maybe is you have me. I am doing what was asked of me, and you know the way. You have a choice. The World or the truth.
One is worth everything, and one is worth nothing. Your hearts have those valued in completely the wrong way.
You aren't strong enough to change your heart, and either am I. I am who I am today, because I overcame with 100% help for the 2nd time.
It is good to know how weak and insignificant I am to make even minor changes to me. It is good for me to be accepted, and good to have been given the promises I have.
Anywayzzzz, I guess that is it.
I am going to take the hopester for a little run, and then work.
Then we'll see. Lisa has the next two days off, and two vacation days after that. A nice little break for her. It will be good for her.
Okay, I'll cya. :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Catchin' Up On Sleep...
Hello, and good morning. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I was able to catch up on sleep last night so that is good. I was tireddddd. :) I am not going to run this morning I don't think, but I ran all 5 days this week, so not a biggie. I don't even ride my bike to the grocery store even though it is less than two miles away, mostly cuz I have to wear dress slacks, plus typically I pick up groceries after work, so.
Not to brag, but I am working with the cleaning people tomorrow too, so if you are counting correctly that is 3 jobs I have now. #ftw. Yesterday at work went pretty well. I pretty much made everything I will be in charge of. I learned a lot this week, and am confident everything will run smooth. We lose an important helper (owner) who goes in for surgery in a couple weeks. It is a busy place, and a lot to that business.
A busy restaurant, which is hard enough I realize. Then wholesale, which is bread and stuff delivered to restaurants, and retail, which is people popping in for "goodies" or others picking up some stuff after their meal. As with all businesses you need good labor. Seems they do okay, but there were some call ins and stuff this week, so young kids may like their warm summer days. :)
So that is that. Not a terribly busy weekend for me, but working Saturday morning will be great after a full sleep, and not working overnight. :)
I am making taco salad for dinner tonight. It is Lisa's fave meal in the World, and she is craving it. Lisa went out to dinner at a restaurant near us with a guy from work, and hailey and her boyfriend and maybe some other people too. I know they were checking out a restaurant near us under new mgmt. they just reopened, and thumbs up is the verdict. I think they went to check out a car show or something in holland. Not my thing. :)
So that is that. Another day in the life. :) not too shabby huh? Dumb really, but I izzz cool with it.
Alrighty, I gotta run.
Laterzzzzz. :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo.
Not to brag, but I am working with the cleaning people tomorrow too, so if you are counting correctly that is 3 jobs I have now. #ftw. Yesterday at work went pretty well. I pretty much made everything I will be in charge of. I learned a lot this week, and am confident everything will run smooth. We lose an important helper (owner) who goes in for surgery in a couple weeks. It is a busy place, and a lot to that business.
A busy restaurant, which is hard enough I realize. Then wholesale, which is bread and stuff delivered to restaurants, and retail, which is people popping in for "goodies" or others picking up some stuff after their meal. As with all businesses you need good labor. Seems they do okay, but there were some call ins and stuff this week, so young kids may like their warm summer days. :)
So that is that. Not a terribly busy weekend for me, but working Saturday morning will be great after a full sleep, and not working overnight. :)
I am making taco salad for dinner tonight. It is Lisa's fave meal in the World, and she is craving it. Lisa went out to dinner at a restaurant near us with a guy from work, and hailey and her boyfriend and maybe some other people too. I know they were checking out a restaurant near us under new mgmt. they just reopened, and thumbs up is the verdict. I think they went to check out a car show or something in holland. Not my thing. :)
So that is that. Another day in the life. :) not too shabby huh? Dumb really, but I izzz cool with it.
Alrighty, I gotta run.
Laterzzzzz. :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo.
Friday, June 5, 2015
Just Another Day In The Life...
That is what it was too. A little run, a bike to work, work, bike home, and cook something on the grill. One needs a good heart to do this life thing well.
I have a good heart, and I am pretty cool with most things in my little silly life. There isn't much to me is there?? I am learning a new trade, which I haven't done in forever. Any job I did over the last couple decades or so I had experience. Now not at all. It is a whole different ball game. Didn't realize how dumb I'd be. :)
I made a good meal on the grill. Chicken, dark with bone, and breast without. Zucchini, and baked potatoes. That is 4 things that cook at 4 different time lengths. Don't ask me how I did it, but they all came out perfect.
What do you say of that?? I say who gives a shit!! Our lives are not filled with anything of significance, and if your life is filled with all kindsa crap 24/7 you made a horribly wrong turn.
If you aren't happy getting up each day why?? I know the answer. The answer is our lives are filled with a bunch of nothing. We toil in vain if we fill it with more and more nothing. The key to happiness, and living a fulfilled life is in things you can not do on your own.
You want understanding?? You cannot walk the Earth to find it. You cannot sacrifice anything to get it. You cannot build a stairway to heaven with a bundle of sticks on your back to get it.
Nope, it isn't yours to take, and it is nowhere for you to find. The garden of Eden is surrounded by 4 great swords, and the sword you cannot overcome.
The answer to life is not in your power. You are powerless 100% to get the most important things out of life.
Everyone makes turns in life, and they aren't really wrong, cuz you cannot turn and be so far away. There only is one right turn, so your turns aren't exactly right either. You just run in place basically, until you make the right one.
The one turn that seems like a lot, but is so little. You ain't doing anything anyway.
Life is a hard thing, because we start off with a wrong premise. We are powerless, but we think we are powerful.
Hard to get anywhere when you believe a lie.
Anyways, congrats if you read the whole thing. I almost deleted it halfway through. I think it ends better than it starts.
Gotta run.
Laterzzzzz
I have a good heart, and I am pretty cool with most things in my little silly life. There isn't much to me is there?? I am learning a new trade, which I haven't done in forever. Any job I did over the last couple decades or so I had experience. Now not at all. It is a whole different ball game. Didn't realize how dumb I'd be. :)
I made a good meal on the grill. Chicken, dark with bone, and breast without. Zucchini, and baked potatoes. That is 4 things that cook at 4 different time lengths. Don't ask me how I did it, but they all came out perfect.
What do you say of that?? I say who gives a shit!! Our lives are not filled with anything of significance, and if your life is filled with all kindsa crap 24/7 you made a horribly wrong turn.
If you aren't happy getting up each day why?? I know the answer. The answer is our lives are filled with a bunch of nothing. We toil in vain if we fill it with more and more nothing. The key to happiness, and living a fulfilled life is in things you can not do on your own.
You want understanding?? You cannot walk the Earth to find it. You cannot sacrifice anything to get it. You cannot build a stairway to heaven with a bundle of sticks on your back to get it.
Nope, it isn't yours to take, and it is nowhere for you to find. The garden of Eden is surrounded by 4 great swords, and the sword you cannot overcome.
The answer to life is not in your power. You are powerless 100% to get the most important things out of life.
Everyone makes turns in life, and they aren't really wrong, cuz you cannot turn and be so far away. There only is one right turn, so your turns aren't exactly right either. You just run in place basically, until you make the right one.
The one turn that seems like a lot, but is so little. You ain't doing anything anyway.
Life is a hard thing, because we start off with a wrong premise. We are powerless, but we think we are powerful.
Hard to get anywhere when you believe a lie.
Anyways, congrats if you read the whole thing. I almost deleted it halfway through. I think it ends better than it starts.
Gotta run.
Laterzzzzz
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Titles For Algernon
Hello and good morning. How's it going? Me, I am doing pretty good. I got a lot of sleep last night. I was beat. My new job has given me such sore muscles from pinning dough, it is crazy. My shoulders feel like death. Can't wait til those muscles get used to it.
Nothing really going on with me. We are having great weather this week, so I am already tan from being outside. I forget how much 1st shift suits me. Have to tinker a bit to get my schedule down, but it should come quick.
As to goals in life I guess I used to have some running ones, and these days not really so much. I do find myself getting in better running shape, and really no knee problems at all. I like no, I LOVE my short runs, so not sure about upping my mileage much. Since most of my runs are with hope, I'd probably have to figure out a run to work type thingy to add miles. Not sure if that is in the books or not. Not a big deal. The switch is not turned on for me to run the big miles really.
As to other goals it has been for so long just understanding. I knew that was the best thing, and it just so happens with understanding comes everything else. It will be the final stop for the current version of me, and the beginning of the new version. The best a person can be.
Such a weird story. Mine. Hidden so long as I walked during the dead years. I knew I had some future stuff to do, but I had no idea when. Well I guess we know it is now. It has been going on for years. Really it isn't as I expected at all. For one thing it takes so long. How many times have I just been frustrated ? How many times did I lose trust in some of you. I have steered people in the correct ways, but most don't listen that great.
This is really a picture if life. In life we all fail. None of us can stand up to the highest ideals, and the World is a trap we are enslaved to. There only is one way out from this dilemma, but even that is a battle, because many times people think way higher of themselves than they should. Many times what they deem to be important isn't. All the things we waste our time on are really a waste. There is very little value for the activities done under the sun, and we all toil in vain.
Points come from different things than what we think. A human really isn't all that, but typically we think we are.
A life is a silly and foolish thing. The answer to life I found, and it is worth everything.
Simple really, but people. Who can teach them anything??? :) LOL
Anyhooodles I guess I should get going.
You know I have been blogging a while, and typically not a lot changes, but one has jumped up super duper high in importance in my eyes. That is surprising to me.
I like courage, and strength though, and she does have that.
Anyway I gotsta go.
Laterzzzzzzzz
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
MWAH!!! :)
Nothing really going on with me. We are having great weather this week, so I am already tan from being outside. I forget how much 1st shift suits me. Have to tinker a bit to get my schedule down, but it should come quick.
As to goals in life I guess I used to have some running ones, and these days not really so much. I do find myself getting in better running shape, and really no knee problems at all. I like no, I LOVE my short runs, so not sure about upping my mileage much. Since most of my runs are with hope, I'd probably have to figure out a run to work type thingy to add miles. Not sure if that is in the books or not. Not a big deal. The switch is not turned on for me to run the big miles really.
As to other goals it has been for so long just understanding. I knew that was the best thing, and it just so happens with understanding comes everything else. It will be the final stop for the current version of me, and the beginning of the new version. The best a person can be.
Such a weird story. Mine. Hidden so long as I walked during the dead years. I knew I had some future stuff to do, but I had no idea when. Well I guess we know it is now. It has been going on for years. Really it isn't as I expected at all. For one thing it takes so long. How many times have I just been frustrated ? How many times did I lose trust in some of you. I have steered people in the correct ways, but most don't listen that great.
This is really a picture if life. In life we all fail. None of us can stand up to the highest ideals, and the World is a trap we are enslaved to. There only is one way out from this dilemma, but even that is a battle, because many times people think way higher of themselves than they should. Many times what they deem to be important isn't. All the things we waste our time on are really a waste. There is very little value for the activities done under the sun, and we all toil in vain.
Points come from different things than what we think. A human really isn't all that, but typically we think we are.
A life is a silly and foolish thing. The answer to life I found, and it is worth everything.
Simple really, but people. Who can teach them anything??? :) LOL
Anyhooodles I guess I should get going.
You know I have been blogging a while, and typically not a lot changes, but one has jumped up super duper high in importance in my eyes. That is surprising to me.
I like courage, and strength though, and she does have that.
Anyway I gotsta go.
Laterzzzzzzzz
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
MWAH!!! :)
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
When Did This Start ?
I remember reading running blogs one day, and I started a blog the next day. It was maybe much if the same as mine is today, but maybe different. I was strong every morning, but not sure if I wanted people to read or not. Let's just say from day 1 through the journey til now I have gained a ton of confidence.
One thing I don't understand really is how was it to know me before as compared to now. I have no idea. How could so much if me be hidden for so long, and then finally come out. Why did those running blogs make me blog? Lol
We may never know, but it all just seemed right. There were tough days during the first two blogs. Some very hard. Some stuff I knew for a long time, and that stuff came into play. The bad hidden stuff that some don't even know exists. It is the bad stuff inside us that overpowers us. I dealt with much of that part of people.
When they came to me they were not able to overcome me, cuz I had help. I didn't have the security of a full spirit to battle the enemies, and they were way craftier with the sword than me. My help is hidden, and those hard days helped build trust in me.
My little knowledge of these types of things is as those things left people to come to me, I believe they returned, but with more bad stuff than what actually was started with.
I didn't do this with all people, but some. Those who have a tougher road this is probably why. A lot has been given to some, and a lot is expected. I've been given a lot, and I have given all. What I've been given is free, and really a gift, and I give it away freely.
All avenues of life start with one step, and it is a first step that must be taken. To be who deep down you want to be is not even close to possible on your own. To be able to see through all the dark corners of your life is not possible unless you have someone shine the light inside. That too is not remotely possible on your own.
You are a slave to who you are now. Impossible to make any significant improvements to the things that are important. The first step should come from a desire for you to just want to be a better person. To deal with all the dark parts of your life so you can get to know you, and not be ashamed of anything.
You never know a persons path really. You never really know why Hitler was as he was. The story of Hitler as a person is a single person standing on his own. Not so far away to become the thief on the cross. People need to be pulled in order to stand like the thief. Remember how I was pulled way back when. I saw death, and my own shortcomings, and I wanted me to matter. I wanted this existence to mean something.
In the end my existence doesn't really mean much. Sure I help, and I have an important job, but anyone else can do it.
I am nothing special, and never was. I am just someone who has been singled out to do a job. I do it, because I have been made to want to.
That is pretty much it. :)
Okie dokie, today is the same as yesterday. Run, ride work.
Adding Jacob and his brothers and their wives.
I am sure I was always going to anyway.
Xoxoxoxoxoxo
Laterzzzzzzzzzzz.
One thing I don't understand really is how was it to know me before as compared to now. I have no idea. How could so much if me be hidden for so long, and then finally come out. Why did those running blogs make me blog? Lol
We may never know, but it all just seemed right. There were tough days during the first two blogs. Some very hard. Some stuff I knew for a long time, and that stuff came into play. The bad hidden stuff that some don't even know exists. It is the bad stuff inside us that overpowers us. I dealt with much of that part of people.
When they came to me they were not able to overcome me, cuz I had help. I didn't have the security of a full spirit to battle the enemies, and they were way craftier with the sword than me. My help is hidden, and those hard days helped build trust in me.
My little knowledge of these types of things is as those things left people to come to me, I believe they returned, but with more bad stuff than what actually was started with.
I didn't do this with all people, but some. Those who have a tougher road this is probably why. A lot has been given to some, and a lot is expected. I've been given a lot, and I have given all. What I've been given is free, and really a gift, and I give it away freely.
All avenues of life start with one step, and it is a first step that must be taken. To be who deep down you want to be is not even close to possible on your own. To be able to see through all the dark corners of your life is not possible unless you have someone shine the light inside. That too is not remotely possible on your own.
You are a slave to who you are now. Impossible to make any significant improvements to the things that are important. The first step should come from a desire for you to just want to be a better person. To deal with all the dark parts of your life so you can get to know you, and not be ashamed of anything.
You never know a persons path really. You never really know why Hitler was as he was. The story of Hitler as a person is a single person standing on his own. Not so far away to become the thief on the cross. People need to be pulled in order to stand like the thief. Remember how I was pulled way back when. I saw death, and my own shortcomings, and I wanted me to matter. I wanted this existence to mean something.
In the end my existence doesn't really mean much. Sure I help, and I have an important job, but anyone else can do it.
I am nothing special, and never was. I am just someone who has been singled out to do a job. I do it, because I have been made to want to.
That is pretty much it. :)
Okie dokie, today is the same as yesterday. Run, ride work.
Adding Jacob and his brothers and their wives.
I am sure I was always going to anyway.
Xoxoxoxoxoxo
Laterzzzzzzzzzzz.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Coffee... Man or Myth??
Sometimes when you wake up early you must ponder the tougher questions in life. As my title suggests I am pondering one of the toughest if not the toughest question of all.
Anyway, I'll leave that for later. I went to bed early last night. Like maybe 6:00 or 7:00 PM early. I slept pretty much all the way through. It feels good to go to bed tired doesn't it?? Lisa and I had a couple of errands to do after work, and I made some brats.
Work went good. I learned a lot, and forgot almost as much as I learned. ;). I did practice my muffin filling technique though, and I think I got it down. I have small hands though so that kinda sucks. It was fun though learning all new things. I made cookies, and coffee cakes, and breakfast thingies, and muffins, and other stuff. I'll do this 5 times/ week, and I am pretty positive I'll love it. I just have to put in my time so everything comes 2nd nature.
Really today will be the same as yesterday. Hope and I will get a run in, and I'll bike to work. Other than that not much going on.
I don't even have anything I am really thinking about.
I guess I could always dig deep. There is a difference between me and you. You think you are the master of your universe. If you can't do it than you can practice or something. I know I am NOT the master of my universe, and I found a way to get everything done I want. You may ask then why not have it done?? Being not the master = everything is not done on my time. If it were up to me this would have happened decades ago. My blog the wait does just that. Helps pave the way to bring people along.
That is what we are doing too. Doesn't always seem to be going the way I think it should, but as I learn the difficulties I also trust the author. He sorta knows what he is doing. We don't. :)
Anyhoodles it is time for me to get going.
Laterzzzzzzz. :)
xoxoxoxoxoxo
MWAH!!! :)
Anyway, I'll leave that for later. I went to bed early last night. Like maybe 6:00 or 7:00 PM early. I slept pretty much all the way through. It feels good to go to bed tired doesn't it?? Lisa and I had a couple of errands to do after work, and I made some brats.
Work went good. I learned a lot, and forgot almost as much as I learned. ;). I did practice my muffin filling technique though, and I think I got it down. I have small hands though so that kinda sucks. It was fun though learning all new things. I made cookies, and coffee cakes, and breakfast thingies, and muffins, and other stuff. I'll do this 5 times/ week, and I am pretty positive I'll love it. I just have to put in my time so everything comes 2nd nature.
Really today will be the same as yesterday. Hope and I will get a run in, and I'll bike to work. Other than that not much going on.
I don't even have anything I am really thinking about.
I guess I could always dig deep. There is a difference between me and you. You think you are the master of your universe. If you can't do it than you can practice or something. I know I am NOT the master of my universe, and I found a way to get everything done I want. You may ask then why not have it done?? Being not the master = everything is not done on my time. If it were up to me this would have happened decades ago. My blog the wait does just that. Helps pave the way to bring people along.
That is what we are doing too. Doesn't always seem to be going the way I think it should, but as I learn the difficulties I also trust the author. He sorta knows what he is doing. We don't. :)
Anyhoodles it is time for me to get going.
Laterzzzzzzz. :)
xoxoxoxoxoxo
MWAH!!! :)
Monday, June 1, 2015
Up At 3:00 With Time To Pee
Hello, and good morning. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. Sometimes when you get up and blog it is very IMPORTANT to rhyme your title. I am sure you already know this, but just saying.
So today is my first day learning the baking trade. I am super duper excited. I have a lot to learn, and that is also very exciting.
Yesterday we did Jackie's thing, and it went very good. I cannot believe how much Lisa's work helped us pull it off. Seriously Lisa had a lot of support this week, and that is what it is all about. I saw Melgert's brother whose wife died like 10 months ago. I don't do a lot of Kossen things, but when I did I always saw him. Decent enough fellow. We have a bigger thing planned for an end of summer party type thing. We decided yesterday to do it.
These things are good to put life in perspective. I didn't really see eye to eye with Jackie, and that seems now to be my shortcoming. She wasn't awful, and I probably have a lot of awful in me. I know this, and I know how it will be fixed.
Me vs. you = I know what I can do, and I know what has to be done. My path is a waiting game, and maybe we all need a heart that can wait.
I once ran a perfect 5K. Steady fast pace, and at 2 miles start increasing past threshold. My blog, and my journey is 2/3 of the way done, and I think that is what it must be doing. Increasing the pace past threshold. Why?? We are in this race to win it. I already won my race, and it wasn't by my own power. I've been given stuff to help people, and I have a message. It isn't anything you will learn anywhere else.
So anyways, I am up before work. Temps this week are going to be great, so I will take hopester for a little run, and then bike to work.
For me that is what it is all about. :)
Yay. :)
Alrighties, I gotta go.
Laterzzzzzzz
MWAH!!! :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
So today is my first day learning the baking trade. I am super duper excited. I have a lot to learn, and that is also very exciting.
Yesterday we did Jackie's thing, and it went very good. I cannot believe how much Lisa's work helped us pull it off. Seriously Lisa had a lot of support this week, and that is what it is all about. I saw Melgert's brother whose wife died like 10 months ago. I don't do a lot of Kossen things, but when I did I always saw him. Decent enough fellow. We have a bigger thing planned for an end of summer party type thing. We decided yesterday to do it.
These things are good to put life in perspective. I didn't really see eye to eye with Jackie, and that seems now to be my shortcoming. She wasn't awful, and I probably have a lot of awful in me. I know this, and I know how it will be fixed.
Me vs. you = I know what I can do, and I know what has to be done. My path is a waiting game, and maybe we all need a heart that can wait.
I once ran a perfect 5K. Steady fast pace, and at 2 miles start increasing past threshold. My blog, and my journey is 2/3 of the way done, and I think that is what it must be doing. Increasing the pace past threshold. Why?? We are in this race to win it. I already won my race, and it wasn't by my own power. I've been given stuff to help people, and I have a message. It isn't anything you will learn anywhere else.
So anyways, I am up before work. Temps this week are going to be great, so I will take hopester for a little run, and then bike to work.
For me that is what it is all about. :)
Yay. :)
Alrighties, I gotta go.
Laterzzzzzzz
MWAH!!! :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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