Good Morning. How's it going?? Me, I woke up too early, I have nothing important on my mind, but I guess I'll try and throw a blog down. This week is going pretty good I'd say. Maybe a hiccup or two along the way, but WAY better than last week. Last week was horrible.
As I was just openly thinking yesterday, yeah I do other things than this, I realize my story is crazy'ish. I lose people here and there maybe more frequently than I know, but I am OK. You'll find none are so important that I am not willing to let them go their merry own way.
I don't know what people think half the time. I probably have quite less of a filter than you, but if social talk is locker room talk, than I have no problem bringing the locker room here. A filter I have no use for.
Anne Frank once had a filter, and it got her nowhere. That is what this World is. You think I don't know what goes on behind the filters?? Maybe I am the naive one, but I doubt it. Life is one big web of hang ups, and if you think about some of them and ask why, you'd probably come to the conclusion, cuz I am "supposed" to act this way. You tell me who the messed up one is. :)
Haha!! Dotting the i's and crossing the t's is just a way to say the World is stronger than me. You get no points from societal acceptance, although it appears it is what people cling to for their security.
I get it. I know how life is, and I get all the hang-ups.
Anyway, I have nothing today, I got shit to do, and I just wanted the title really. What I read was good. :)))
Laterzzzzz. Xoxoxoxoxo
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
I Gather You Want To Kill The Messenger.
Makes sense. Life goes on, and people get help, but the vision is clouded by what is "supposed" to be the right thing. False teachers bombard us. Our hearts betray us. Our minds are not willing to question what is before us, because this World, and society, and commercials, and fairy tales have us under their spell.
I told you in my heart is this great Sword, and I told you the sword ain't no joke. I help guide you in the correct way, because this is what is in my heart to do, and my heart is guided not by me. Why else would I do this??
Why do I do it in the first place?? I am just a vessel being used for a purpose. It isn't my story, and it isn't my purpose, because I gave up me a long time ago, and it turns out by doing so I received a much better one. It isn't perfect YET, but that is my path. As much as you don't want to believe.
You believe in this World. I know you see it clearly enough to know what I say is true, but fear must be your biggest weakness now. The security you feel while you are in charge. Your life your decisions, even though you must know your vision is not the best.
When life pulls it will probably go against all you believe, or want to be true. You want life to be this good thing. You want to believe people who dress up in robes, even though they have been warned. You want to believe this World is good, and we as people are mostly "good enough". If all is possible then the answer sure as Hell is good enough is not good enough.
Also the best things men and women can think up surely are not the best things.
You value your coin too much. You place way too much value on you, and your importance in the grand scheme of things, and your heroes are as flawed as you.
I get it. You want to kill the messenger, but I already took the proper steps so I could be broken. I took the proper steps so I could know my true worth.
It was in my courage I guess, that I was able to play the fool.
Only problem is I am the one who is right, while you remain with the poor foundation that good enough is good enough.
You people are nuts. :)
Crazy fuckers.
xoxoxo xoxoxo.
Laterzzzzzz. MWAH!!! :)
I told you in my heart is this great Sword, and I told you the sword ain't no joke. I help guide you in the correct way, because this is what is in my heart to do, and my heart is guided not by me. Why else would I do this??
Why do I do it in the first place?? I am just a vessel being used for a purpose. It isn't my story, and it isn't my purpose, because I gave up me a long time ago, and it turns out by doing so I received a much better one. It isn't perfect YET, but that is my path. As much as you don't want to believe.
You believe in this World. I know you see it clearly enough to know what I say is true, but fear must be your biggest weakness now. The security you feel while you are in charge. Your life your decisions, even though you must know your vision is not the best.
When life pulls it will probably go against all you believe, or want to be true. You want life to be this good thing. You want to believe people who dress up in robes, even though they have been warned. You want to believe this World is good, and we as people are mostly "good enough". If all is possible then the answer sure as Hell is good enough is not good enough.
Also the best things men and women can think up surely are not the best things.
You value your coin too much. You place way too much value on you, and your importance in the grand scheme of things, and your heroes are as flawed as you.
I get it. You want to kill the messenger, but I already took the proper steps so I could be broken. I took the proper steps so I could know my true worth.
It was in my courage I guess, that I was able to play the fool.
Only problem is I am the one who is right, while you remain with the poor foundation that good enough is good enough.
You people are nuts. :)
Crazy fuckers.
xoxoxo xoxoxo.
Laterzzzzzz. MWAH!!! :)
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Some Days You Just Gotta Wing It.
Hello, and good morning. How's it going?? Me, I woke up tired. I am going to have a coffee, and then go cut the grass. I should have cut it twice by now, but today will be my first time. It is way too high, and it is going to be a pain in the ass.
I have pretty much nothing on my mind, so the title of winging it and stuff. Life is a crazy little thing huh?? You are young and stupid, and probably a pain in the ass for the better part of your kid life. Then at some point in time we realize we learned all we need to know, usually somewhere around puberty is my guess. Puberty is horrible for guys. Being a 15-16 year old guy is the worst. Anyway eventually I guess we begin to like our parents again, probably sometime after high school.
There is a big World out there. Seems we should make our mark somehow I guess. Especially those who consider themselves above average intelligence. I felt that way before. All alone in the World with my brains to carry the way I guess.
Little did I know I wasn't that smart. Little did I know my life wasn't mine to keep. It took many years for my story to unfold. If you remember last year I was kinda ticked how horrible this blog was. What a waste. Now I am like whatever. Not to be arrogant or anything, but I am right. People have to seek their own answers, but if this blog pulled in a very highly unsuccessful way, then you can bet your life is going to pull. It is what works best. People are aging, and the key really is your heart.
Why isn't it better?? What is all this crap in it, and why. I know you want a better one. One that just does stuff better. Gives a fuck a bit more. Our whole life we seek out time to do fun stuff. Put our head to the grindstone for a payoff later down the road.
We are our worst teacher. We teach ourself horrible stuff. A lot of us comes from the crap we learn in the World. No matter who you are you are poisoned by various fairy tales, and advertising, and just how fake this whole World is. The World doesn't want to show the truth, because it wants to keep everything in the dark. How many stories of physical abuse end up with a marriage two weeks down the road?? One should question their own anger. Why? Why??
The answer will surprise some or probably all. You cannot be the good person you want to be. As great as we are with our use of thumbs and walking upright, and not eating bugs out of each other's hair we are pretty weak, and pathetic people. Powerless to make ourselves who we want to be.
One thing I've learned is you cannot even teach people that. In a big World we often seek alone time. Maybe others are so afraid of their alone time they run to any gathering just so they aren't alone with their thoughts.
Some of you I get. That burning desire to become a serial killer, and eat your victims brains. Come on man. Don't you know that is fucked up?? Sheesh. You sick fucks. Ha!!! J/k
Anyway I guess I should cut the grass.
Have fun. :)
xoxoxoxoxo
I have pretty much nothing on my mind, so the title of winging it and stuff. Life is a crazy little thing huh?? You are young and stupid, and probably a pain in the ass for the better part of your kid life. Then at some point in time we realize we learned all we need to know, usually somewhere around puberty is my guess. Puberty is horrible for guys. Being a 15-16 year old guy is the worst. Anyway eventually I guess we begin to like our parents again, probably sometime after high school.
There is a big World out there. Seems we should make our mark somehow I guess. Especially those who consider themselves above average intelligence. I felt that way before. All alone in the World with my brains to carry the way I guess.
Little did I know I wasn't that smart. Little did I know my life wasn't mine to keep. It took many years for my story to unfold. If you remember last year I was kinda ticked how horrible this blog was. What a waste. Now I am like whatever. Not to be arrogant or anything, but I am right. People have to seek their own answers, but if this blog pulled in a very highly unsuccessful way, then you can bet your life is going to pull. It is what works best. People are aging, and the key really is your heart.
Why isn't it better?? What is all this crap in it, and why. I know you want a better one. One that just does stuff better. Gives a fuck a bit more. Our whole life we seek out time to do fun stuff. Put our head to the grindstone for a payoff later down the road.
We are our worst teacher. We teach ourself horrible stuff. A lot of us comes from the crap we learn in the World. No matter who you are you are poisoned by various fairy tales, and advertising, and just how fake this whole World is. The World doesn't want to show the truth, because it wants to keep everything in the dark. How many stories of physical abuse end up with a marriage two weeks down the road?? One should question their own anger. Why? Why??
The answer will surprise some or probably all. You cannot be the good person you want to be. As great as we are with our use of thumbs and walking upright, and not eating bugs out of each other's hair we are pretty weak, and pathetic people. Powerless to make ourselves who we want to be.
One thing I've learned is you cannot even teach people that. In a big World we often seek alone time. Maybe others are so afraid of their alone time they run to any gathering just so they aren't alone with their thoughts.
Some of you I get. That burning desire to become a serial killer, and eat your victims brains. Come on man. Don't you know that is fucked up?? Sheesh. You sick fucks. Ha!!! J/k
Anyway I guess I should cut the grass.
Have fun. :)
xoxoxoxoxo
Monday, May 11, 2015
Guess I'll Get Up.
I decided to get up since I was just laying in bed farting and burping anyway. I made myself some coffee, so guess I can start my day. I actually have a lot to do today anyway. I bought a dark roast something or other coffee, and it may be one of the e best ive ever had. It was only $4.99/ bag too, and probably makes 30 cups of coffee or something.
Anyway what to blog about today. Do you want to know what was on my mind this morning besides farts and burps?? :)
I'll give you my story, and how it is exactly your story too. I don't deserve shit. I am not a special person who deserves anything. I am not the best person who walked this Earth, and am not the worst. I think back to my time long ago, and it is hard to see how you think really. I was younger, and very much alone in this World. I didn't mind being alone, cuz at a certain point in time the only thing I cared about was being a good person. I was tested I don't know several times I guess. I definitely needed help and training to overcome much. Pretty sure I did have to overcome myself, because that was the one thing I was told I did good.
Still I suffered much, and still I had to learn I don't deserve shit. If that one day long ago where I gave up taught me anything it is all my worth will not be because of me.
I ain't worth shit on my own. This World is at odds with the truth, because the truth is the hardest and scariest thing in the World.
The truth is our lives are not of any importance. All the activities under the sun = zero points. Your life = zero points, and no matter what good you think you do, you fall short. The truth is a beast I tell you. It is here to break you, so you can be worked with. Arrogance and pride are not things that can be worked with.
Humility is something that can be worked with, and that is why you need to be broken. This is your journey. Your solo journey, and your personal relationships are important to you it is still you and you alone.
Throw away your ledger of all the great activities you have done, and how wonderful all your personal relationships are, cuz they mean nothing. All that means anything is you stand alone. You face your judgement alone, and you will be naked of all the "great" things you have done, because what you think is important probably isn't in the eyes that matter most.
This shit ain't easy, because it goes against the grain of the World, and you are very much a part of this World.
Guess that is it.
Xoxoxo
MWAH!!! :)
Anyway what to blog about today. Do you want to know what was on my mind this morning besides farts and burps?? :)
I'll give you my story, and how it is exactly your story too. I don't deserve shit. I am not a special person who deserves anything. I am not the best person who walked this Earth, and am not the worst. I think back to my time long ago, and it is hard to see how you think really. I was younger, and very much alone in this World. I didn't mind being alone, cuz at a certain point in time the only thing I cared about was being a good person. I was tested I don't know several times I guess. I definitely needed help and training to overcome much. Pretty sure I did have to overcome myself, because that was the one thing I was told I did good.
Still I suffered much, and still I had to learn I don't deserve shit. If that one day long ago where I gave up taught me anything it is all my worth will not be because of me.
I ain't worth shit on my own. This World is at odds with the truth, because the truth is the hardest and scariest thing in the World.
The truth is our lives are not of any importance. All the activities under the sun = zero points. Your life = zero points, and no matter what good you think you do, you fall short. The truth is a beast I tell you. It is here to break you, so you can be worked with. Arrogance and pride are not things that can be worked with.
Humility is something that can be worked with, and that is why you need to be broken. This is your journey. Your solo journey, and your personal relationships are important to you it is still you and you alone.
Throw away your ledger of all the great activities you have done, and how wonderful all your personal relationships are, cuz they mean nothing. All that means anything is you stand alone. You face your judgement alone, and you will be naked of all the "great" things you have done, because what you think is important probably isn't in the eyes that matter most.
This shit ain't easy, because it goes against the grain of the World, and you are very much a part of this World.
Guess that is it.
Xoxoxo
MWAH!!! :)
Sunday, May 10, 2015
It Has Been Almost One Week.
Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. Today I have my first day off in like 3 weeks. We are going to see the Avengers. You may wonder why such a frequent blogger as myself would take a full week off.
I had nothing good to say. There was nothing in my heart, but yuck. I am the type of person who is what they read. It is why I need to trust people. I am not looking for Saints. Here are a few truths I can give you. If you try to prove me wrong then you are barking up the wrong tree.
I had nothing good to say. There was nothing in my heart, but yuck. I am the type of person who is what they read. It is why I need to trust people. I am not looking for Saints. Here are a few truths I can give you. If you try to prove me wrong then you are barking up the wrong tree.
- You are not a Saint.
- You are not the best a person can be.
- This blog is to help you come to terms with your shortcomings.
- This blog is to help you show the way to becoming the best a person can be.
- Showing off your fake Sainthood by showing stupid shit that doesn't matter is stupid.
So there. I got that off my chest. We as people are wrong, and we are born that way. It seems life is a big test. Are you strong enough to be able to face the truth?? Strong means coming to terms with your imperfect self in this shitty World. Overcome all the advertising, and these days social media horseshit that says everyone is great.
No one is great. We are all weak, and imperfect people, and your lives "should" be one tough journey of you dealing with the shitty truth.
This blog isn't for the weak. You'll never make it. This blog isn't for the Saints, cuz they are full of SHIT. This blog isn't for those who are NOT willing to go farther than such and such does this horrible stuff, and I do this SEEMINGLY important stuff. Nope.
This blog is for those who have the courage to go the whole way. The FULL truth of YOU.
Not easy, but worth everything.
Cya. :)
Xoxoxo
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Now This Is A Sunday
Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I am up early, I have coffee, I will get a bit of a run in, and I work today. We are working at 7:00am this morning. I went to bed early last night, cuz I wanted to be up early, and I didn't want to be tired. So it worked. I am not tired, and I am ready to start my day. I was tired yesterday, since I worked Friday night, and again at 9:00 am Saturday morning. I had no big plans though so no biggie.
Anyways what is going on with me?? Not much at all. As always just doing this life thing, and this blog thing. As we set out in our adult years I know we all have a lot of the same plans. Marriage, job/career, house, kids maybe. We have a picture in our mind if what life is "supposed" to look like. That sure as Hell looks like the road to happily ever after. The one thing we don't know is what do we look like on the inside?? The commercials all show smiling happy people.
No one is taking drugs, and no one gets failing grades, they all sit at the dinner table. There are no kids with the crushingly horrible scary prospect of coming out of the closet to a World that judges.
Nope you won't see that about life. Parents are perfect. Always give a shit, never have off days/months/years where they don't want to be mommy and daddy.
So you go out and get that white picket fence. You did all the "right" things, but still something is missing huh??
Our view of life is poison really. We were brought up in the age of commercials. We know something isn't 100% right, cuz life should feel different right?? So we go out, and grab a bucket, and make a list, and throw it in the bucket. Start scratching shit off. There is one thing you do not control though.
Oh you can think up shit, and read books, and study various things, but you will never learn all the things. I once had a time where I would have liked to read every History book ever. :) maybe even some textbooks of things that interested me at the time.
Anyway I got off track, the one thing you don't control is your heart. You cannot make yourself a better person in that regard. You cannot make it so you are always happy, and your heart is the key to everything. The whole World out there, and none have learned the one thing we need is a better heart.
There are no exercises to improve that, and there are no races to train for that improve that part of us. It all stems from there. How does one go about improving and making their heart better, so their life/coin is much improved??
Luckily you know the answer to that.
The rest doesn't even matter really.
Anywayzzzz, I guess that is it.
Have fun!!! :)
Xoxoxo xoxoxo
MWAH!!! :)))
Anyways what is going on with me?? Not much at all. As always just doing this life thing, and this blog thing. As we set out in our adult years I know we all have a lot of the same plans. Marriage, job/career, house, kids maybe. We have a picture in our mind if what life is "supposed" to look like. That sure as Hell looks like the road to happily ever after. The one thing we don't know is what do we look like on the inside?? The commercials all show smiling happy people.
No one is taking drugs, and no one gets failing grades, they all sit at the dinner table. There are no kids with the crushingly horrible scary prospect of coming out of the closet to a World that judges.
Nope you won't see that about life. Parents are perfect. Always give a shit, never have off days/months/years where they don't want to be mommy and daddy.
So you go out and get that white picket fence. You did all the "right" things, but still something is missing huh??
Our view of life is poison really. We were brought up in the age of commercials. We know something isn't 100% right, cuz life should feel different right?? So we go out, and grab a bucket, and make a list, and throw it in the bucket. Start scratching shit off. There is one thing you do not control though.
Oh you can think up shit, and read books, and study various things, but you will never learn all the things. I once had a time where I would have liked to read every History book ever. :) maybe even some textbooks of things that interested me at the time.
Anyway I got off track, the one thing you don't control is your heart. You cannot make yourself a better person in that regard. You cannot make it so you are always happy, and your heart is the key to everything. The whole World out there, and none have learned the one thing we need is a better heart.
There are no exercises to improve that, and there are no races to train for that improve that part of us. It all stems from there. How does one go about improving and making their heart better, so their life/coin is much improved??
Luckily you know the answer to that.
The rest doesn't even matter really.
Anywayzzzz, I guess that is it.
Have fun!!! :)
Xoxoxo xoxoxo
MWAH!!! :)))
Friday, May 1, 2015
Best Start This Day.
Hello, and good morning. How's it going? Me, I am doing pretty good. Drinking coffee, laying in bed, and phone blogging. It's the latest craze. All the hippies and cool kids are doing it, or will be once it catches on. ;)
Anyhoodles, I guess I know some things, and sometimes I catch glimpses of how nutty it must be. Probability speaking it is probably a crazy thing to fathom, but life unfortunately is made up of a lot of highly improbable things, and me being me is one. Me doing what I have to do is one, although if you were with me after my turn through the Summer of Discontent, and the early 90s you would know exactly the bitter truth of life on our own.
It occurs to me you may want to know the whys of you having to do what you have to do. I cannot explain really the whys of why we have to do this really, but your heart needs to be moulded into something that can be worked with. It is the turn that will do this, because then your heart will be changed from a hard one that is unbelieving, and disobedient into one that can be changed to do the courageous things you must do, and you WILL NOT be able to do as you are now.
The path you are on is leading nowhere. Like us all just simply headed to the grave chasing wind in whatever form, or hiding behind various forms of escape.
There is nothing of significance to accomplish in this World. People are all born in a tough spot. Destined for trouble, and with very little hope of finding answers. So many false teachers, and teachings.
So I come along, and am turned into what I'd least wanted. A teacher. You may Ask why I wanted this so little. It is because my biggest fear was the final judging. A teacher gets judged to a higher standard, and that is the last thing I wanted what with having already living through it.
So here I am doing my job, and it is not my idea, and not my choice, and not what I asked for. Having overcoming 2 of 3 times with help of course, although overcoming me way back when was a big deal too, I have much courage, and little fear. I have a promise, and a blessing that makes everything good for me.
Me being who I am is worth more than anything you might think is on the other side of the wind.
It is you vs. you though. That is between you, and I am not a part of that. Everything is a journey of one, and it doesn't matter what kind of certificate of marriage you have, or what accredited pieces of paper you have or desire.
It is just you, and there is nothing to cling to. No groups no nothing.
You, and your choice, and stuff.
Anywayzzzzz, I guess that is it.
Have fun. :)
coxoxoxoxoxoxo
MWAH!!! :)))
Time to get ready for job #1 for the day.
Laterzzzz
Anyhoodles, I guess I know some things, and sometimes I catch glimpses of how nutty it must be. Probability speaking it is probably a crazy thing to fathom, but life unfortunately is made up of a lot of highly improbable things, and me being me is one. Me doing what I have to do is one, although if you were with me after my turn through the Summer of Discontent, and the early 90s you would know exactly the bitter truth of life on our own.
It occurs to me you may want to know the whys of you having to do what you have to do. I cannot explain really the whys of why we have to do this really, but your heart needs to be moulded into something that can be worked with. It is the turn that will do this, because then your heart will be changed from a hard one that is unbelieving, and disobedient into one that can be changed to do the courageous things you must do, and you WILL NOT be able to do as you are now.
The path you are on is leading nowhere. Like us all just simply headed to the grave chasing wind in whatever form, or hiding behind various forms of escape.
There is nothing of significance to accomplish in this World. People are all born in a tough spot. Destined for trouble, and with very little hope of finding answers. So many false teachers, and teachings.
So I come along, and am turned into what I'd least wanted. A teacher. You may Ask why I wanted this so little. It is because my biggest fear was the final judging. A teacher gets judged to a higher standard, and that is the last thing I wanted what with having already living through it.
So here I am doing my job, and it is not my idea, and not my choice, and not what I asked for. Having overcoming 2 of 3 times with help of course, although overcoming me way back when was a big deal too, I have much courage, and little fear. I have a promise, and a blessing that makes everything good for me.
Me being who I am is worth more than anything you might think is on the other side of the wind.
It is you vs. you though. That is between you, and I am not a part of that. Everything is a journey of one, and it doesn't matter what kind of certificate of marriage you have, or what accredited pieces of paper you have or desire.
It is just you, and there is nothing to cling to. No groups no nothing.
You, and your choice, and stuff.
Anywayzzzzz, I guess that is it.
Have fun. :)
coxoxoxoxoxoxo
MWAH!!! :)))
Time to get ready for job #1 for the day.
Laterzzzz
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