Soooo, anyway I wasn't really going to blog today, but as I was sitting drinking my coffee it hit me. One of the things I have that you don't is I know my place in the World. I know what I am about. The search for the mysteries of life are done. I am not looking to make my mark in any way.
I know my place. I know what my life is about, and I know why the heck I am here. The search for happiness, and meaning, and respect, and all the things one would crave I am not seeking. I have a real grasp of life.
Others seek meaning via various avenues. Whether it is in the Political arena, or their jobs, or trying to be the best person Society wants us to be. I get in the Political arena once in a while just because people put way tooooooo much faith in it. Believe things that aren't true. Put faith in things one shouldn't be putting faith in. Trying to be what Society wants you to be?? Welcome to failure. Jobs are just jobs. The World's way to keep you enslaved, and to make you busier and busier so you don't ponder the things you should ponder.
Life is a mess, and people try to make the most of theirs I guess in any way. Try and find some meaning, although they go about it in the wrong way.
I don't know I guess it is a good feeling for knowing my place. I have no unreal expectations of life, and no unreal expectations of me. I don't seek honor in shallow places, and I don't seek for truths in things that don't stand the test of time.
The all knowing, and arrogant already have all the answers, and don't ever have to question anything. That is a big log in the eye. I am not all knowing, but when it comes to my life, and the reasons why I am here I am. These are things I sought out. Answers I searched for. I didn't grab, Society, or Country, or Career to find my answers, and as a matter of fact I threw everything away just in case. Just in case the Whole World is wrong. Turns out it is, and yet people find some nook or cranny of the World to hold onto.
Why?? What else is there??
Indeed, indeed.
Oh well. That is what I was thinking about this morning.
Laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
This Ain't No Thang...
Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am about the same. I am not horrible, but I ain't as good as I can be either. I ran a little two miler this morning. I was thinking whilst working this weekend my back sure feels a heck-u-va lot better than last weekend. Last weekend was pretty brutal working with my jacked back, but those things usually only take a week give or take to get better. I am almost 100%. I still feel a little tightness here and there, but definitely not horrible.
What are some of the things on my mind?? What am I asked to do with this thing here?? Well, really I am not asked to do anything with this. If it is in my heart to blog I blog, and if it isn't I don't. I am in between right now. Luke warm so to speak. I don't really feel like blogging, but it ain't no thang for me to blog either.
You want to know one of the things I thought about this morning?? A blog I read yesterday. Her name is Molly, and her story took a huge turn in the last year. We aren't really friends or anything, but I know who she is, and I have commented on her blog in the past. I was thinking she went from an Ironman type person, where that was everything. She quit her job she hated in the last year, then moved from San Fran I think or somewhere out there to Colorado to go back to school. Her tri year is over now, and she is going to taste some different things in life.
You want to know what I thought about this morning?? If life went South like it did for Anne Frank, she would be able to adapt. She hasn't held onto any part of her life with a death grip, like if it was gone she would die. I get the feeling many of the people I read would die if the most important part of their life left them.
The proof is in the pudding too. People will give you lip service that their spouses, and family, and whatever are the most important things in their life, but it isn't. Some people call personality a type A, but type A = selfish. Selfish to me is weak, because if you are so focused on one thing, then when that disappears you are like a fish out of water. To be strong like an alligator you have to be able to live in any surrounding right??
What parts of your life are just lip service?? Saying the right things so the ever unimportant "what people think" looks good. You will be accepted by the ever judgmental eye of the people who will eventually be 6' under like you. Their judgement does not stand the test of time, because they don't stand the test of time.
Still though you need help to overcome little crap like that.
I like strong people. Selfish = not strong. Selfish is a form of weakness that makes you really blind. It makes you think you are all that, but that is because your focus has made your eyesight really poor.
I find myself these days caring less and less about stuff. It is my path. With better vision of life, comes a better understanding of what is important. It just so happens very little is important. I tell you what too, my heart is in the right hands, because how can someone with my vision still be relatively pretty good??
Quite the miracle huh?? Yet I play my flute of sad songs with this blog, and whatever it accomplishes. Whatever it is worth I surely don't know. It must do something.
At least serve some purpose however minor it is.
Oh well, I ain't gots much today, but thought I'd throw something down.
Today should be a pretty good day. I have very little to do, so I can relax, and not do a damn thing the rest of the day. I have a good schedule this week too. Scheduled only til 5:00 AM every day. That is pretty sweet. :)
Have a good one all. :)))
xoxoxoxo xxxxxxxx :)
What are some of the things on my mind?? What am I asked to do with this thing here?? Well, really I am not asked to do anything with this. If it is in my heart to blog I blog, and if it isn't I don't. I am in between right now. Luke warm so to speak. I don't really feel like blogging, but it ain't no thang for me to blog either.
You want to know one of the things I thought about this morning?? A blog I read yesterday. Her name is Molly, and her story took a huge turn in the last year. We aren't really friends or anything, but I know who she is, and I have commented on her blog in the past. I was thinking she went from an Ironman type person, where that was everything. She quit her job she hated in the last year, then moved from San Fran I think or somewhere out there to Colorado to go back to school. Her tri year is over now, and she is going to taste some different things in life.
You want to know what I thought about this morning?? If life went South like it did for Anne Frank, she would be able to adapt. She hasn't held onto any part of her life with a death grip, like if it was gone she would die. I get the feeling many of the people I read would die if the most important part of their life left them.
The proof is in the pudding too. People will give you lip service that their spouses, and family, and whatever are the most important things in their life, but it isn't. Some people call personality a type A, but type A = selfish. Selfish to me is weak, because if you are so focused on one thing, then when that disappears you are like a fish out of water. To be strong like an alligator you have to be able to live in any surrounding right??
What parts of your life are just lip service?? Saying the right things so the ever unimportant "what people think" looks good. You will be accepted by the ever judgmental eye of the people who will eventually be 6' under like you. Their judgement does not stand the test of time, because they don't stand the test of time.
Still though you need help to overcome little crap like that.
I like strong people. Selfish = not strong. Selfish is a form of weakness that makes you really blind. It makes you think you are all that, but that is because your focus has made your eyesight really poor.
I find myself these days caring less and less about stuff. It is my path. With better vision of life, comes a better understanding of what is important. It just so happens very little is important. I tell you what too, my heart is in the right hands, because how can someone with my vision still be relatively pretty good??
Quite the miracle huh?? Yet I play my flute of sad songs with this blog, and whatever it accomplishes. Whatever it is worth I surely don't know. It must do something.
At least serve some purpose however minor it is.
Oh well, I ain't gots much today, but thought I'd throw something down.
Today should be a pretty good day. I have very little to do, so I can relax, and not do a damn thing the rest of the day. I have a good schedule this week too. Scheduled only til 5:00 AM every day. That is pretty sweet. :)
Have a good one all. :)))
xoxoxoxo xxxxxxxx :)
Saturday, July 19, 2014
What Does It All Mean??
Hello, and good morning. How's it going?? Me, I am so so. I would say I am disappointed in people mostly.
Still believing there is something important to do in this World and this life. It has to mean something right?? I mean why bother?? There is a big picture of life painted in your head. It says everything and anything means something here.
Within our own power we can achieve something, and we will feel good. Sadly if you ever do achieve anything it will feel good for like 2 days, and the achievement no matter how much you kid yourself means nothing.
While everyone was growing up, and perhaps notching out some type of life for themselves I went a different path. One where I learned the truth about me, and my life, and what I am capable of. In things that stand the test of time, I am capable of nothing. My life here on Earth means absolutely nothing. I can count on zero fingers the things here that are of value.
I found the truth of life, and it is not what you expect. Damn, seems like such a shame too?? We have this Brain, and there is this big World, and seems we should be worth something right?? This life should mean something?? We should be capable of great things??
Yeah, it wasn't what I expected, and my path was the worst thing possible. Many of the things I have been through you could not handle as you are right now. No matter what type of effort you put in. I was made different to be able to handle some things, and to be taught some things.
I had to be humbled to learn my place, and I did this under the prying eyes of only one. There was no one I could tell of the things I've been through. It is a crazy story, and that was the chain that kept things a secret.
It is a great deceit being played with your soul that your life is of some significance. You are of more value than the coin I have told you. You would rather listen to what is not true, because it probably makes you feel better.
Sure truth is hard, and yeah there is tough stuff to do, but isn't that what you want?? Worth?? The gift that makes everything you are about, and your life stand for something?? Something besides whatever propaganda you hold to be your truth??
Our lives are filled with the leavened teachings of some form of propaganda. The truth stands on its own. It needs no superficial banners and flags to clothe itself with. It stands for something, because it is better than everything else.
Don't you want what is good?? Don't you want to do the best thing in your life you can?? Well deny yourself and the fabulous paths you can think up. They don't mean anything. There is only one life that means anything, and it is one where you are not the author, manipulator of events, etc...
Why do you want to keep control of basically nothing with your bad vision of the future??
What part of anything you do matters when viewed from 6' under??
You ain't making this World a better place, it isn't in your power. It isn't in your power to make you a better person, so why the arrogance that you are all that??
The best a person can be is not within your power. It don't matter what type of sacrifices you try to make.
Throw out the crap, and grab onto what is true. Sure it takes courage, and yeah it means everything up to this point means nothing, but everything about your life can be used to help you, so really it isn't pointless. Your life to this point. If you hold on though to this World, and grab that as your friend, than yeah your life is headed down a bad direction, and your demons have won, and you will end up a worse person for it.
So yeah, I have lived a life, and found the truth. My purpose was for this, and for some reason I was supposed to do the last thing I would ever want to do. Teach people these lessons.
How could I do these types of things?? Well, confidence comes from being assured. Overcoming twice, and putting everything in hands that are not my own. Assurance that my blessing will make everything I do come out to good. You see the great divide between two things?? Being right, and being faithful. They don't meet at the same place. You are not supposed to be right, because it is not in your power. You are supposed to be faithful which is believing, and being obedient. Surely that is about trust and strength huh??
Those who hold onto their life and this World are lacking both. You believe in yourself and your own "greatness" to its own foolish end.
I have told you many many things. I have not steered you in the wrong direction, because of my help. I ain't nothing special, and that some idiot like me can be used for a purpose is really a crazy thing.
I am sure your weakness is also something I was supposed to learn too. The people used to do the work before were not believed. God had a message then he sent his few people out, and everyone always believed the scribes, and pharisees, and hypocrites who clothed themselves in the right way, and perched themselves high upon a pedestal.
No one wants the truth, because we would rather believe in anything but. Truth is hard, and as tough as you think you are, you really aren't are you?? You would be so much different now if you listened.
I am just one man though. Did what I was asked, and followed the path set before me to where it led.
I don't ask for any accolades, because someone like me is not worth any of that. I am done, but I ain't done you know?? The one thing I wanted for 25 years or so still waits.
Yet you hold on.
To me that is crazy.
Oh well, I guess I better go.
I have to work today both jobs. I am going to go in an hour to the one. I'll be home around 1:00 or so. Gives me time to enjoy the day a bit, before I go to the other job tonight. Both are going pretty well. I guess going into work feeling challenged, and like you want to get stuff done is half the battle huh??
Oh well. Later.
Still believing there is something important to do in this World and this life. It has to mean something right?? I mean why bother?? There is a big picture of life painted in your head. It says everything and anything means something here.
Within our own power we can achieve something, and we will feel good. Sadly if you ever do achieve anything it will feel good for like 2 days, and the achievement no matter how much you kid yourself means nothing.
While everyone was growing up, and perhaps notching out some type of life for themselves I went a different path. One where I learned the truth about me, and my life, and what I am capable of. In things that stand the test of time, I am capable of nothing. My life here on Earth means absolutely nothing. I can count on zero fingers the things here that are of value.
I found the truth of life, and it is not what you expect. Damn, seems like such a shame too?? We have this Brain, and there is this big World, and seems we should be worth something right?? This life should mean something?? We should be capable of great things??
Yeah, it wasn't what I expected, and my path was the worst thing possible. Many of the things I have been through you could not handle as you are right now. No matter what type of effort you put in. I was made different to be able to handle some things, and to be taught some things.
I had to be humbled to learn my place, and I did this under the prying eyes of only one. There was no one I could tell of the things I've been through. It is a crazy story, and that was the chain that kept things a secret.
It is a great deceit being played with your soul that your life is of some significance. You are of more value than the coin I have told you. You would rather listen to what is not true, because it probably makes you feel better.
Sure truth is hard, and yeah there is tough stuff to do, but isn't that what you want?? Worth?? The gift that makes everything you are about, and your life stand for something?? Something besides whatever propaganda you hold to be your truth??
Our lives are filled with the leavened teachings of some form of propaganda. The truth stands on its own. It needs no superficial banners and flags to clothe itself with. It stands for something, because it is better than everything else.
Don't you want what is good?? Don't you want to do the best thing in your life you can?? Well deny yourself and the fabulous paths you can think up. They don't mean anything. There is only one life that means anything, and it is one where you are not the author, manipulator of events, etc...
Why do you want to keep control of basically nothing with your bad vision of the future??
What part of anything you do matters when viewed from 6' under??
You ain't making this World a better place, it isn't in your power. It isn't in your power to make you a better person, so why the arrogance that you are all that??
The best a person can be is not within your power. It don't matter what type of sacrifices you try to make.
Throw out the crap, and grab onto what is true. Sure it takes courage, and yeah it means everything up to this point means nothing, but everything about your life can be used to help you, so really it isn't pointless. Your life to this point. If you hold on though to this World, and grab that as your friend, than yeah your life is headed down a bad direction, and your demons have won, and you will end up a worse person for it.
So yeah, I have lived a life, and found the truth. My purpose was for this, and for some reason I was supposed to do the last thing I would ever want to do. Teach people these lessons.
How could I do these types of things?? Well, confidence comes from being assured. Overcoming twice, and putting everything in hands that are not my own. Assurance that my blessing will make everything I do come out to good. You see the great divide between two things?? Being right, and being faithful. They don't meet at the same place. You are not supposed to be right, because it is not in your power. You are supposed to be faithful which is believing, and being obedient. Surely that is about trust and strength huh??
Those who hold onto their life and this World are lacking both. You believe in yourself and your own "greatness" to its own foolish end.
I have told you many many things. I have not steered you in the wrong direction, because of my help. I ain't nothing special, and that some idiot like me can be used for a purpose is really a crazy thing.
I am sure your weakness is also something I was supposed to learn too. The people used to do the work before were not believed. God had a message then he sent his few people out, and everyone always believed the scribes, and pharisees, and hypocrites who clothed themselves in the right way, and perched themselves high upon a pedestal.
No one wants the truth, because we would rather believe in anything but. Truth is hard, and as tough as you think you are, you really aren't are you?? You would be so much different now if you listened.
I am just one man though. Did what I was asked, and followed the path set before me to where it led.
I don't ask for any accolades, because someone like me is not worth any of that. I am done, but I ain't done you know?? The one thing I wanted for 25 years or so still waits.
Yet you hold on.
To me that is crazy.
Oh well, I guess I better go.
I have to work today both jobs. I am going to go in an hour to the one. I'll be home around 1:00 or so. Gives me time to enjoy the day a bit, before I go to the other job tonight. Both are going pretty well. I guess going into work feeling challenged, and like you want to get stuff done is half the battle huh??
Oh well. Later.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
My Biggest Frustration...
Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I have been better. I ain't horrible, just been better. The great divide, and the great disconnect. The thing that separates you from me. I am different. I see things different. My whole life has led me this way, and perhaps it is my greatest frustration.
I have blogged on and on and on and on. Mostly what I say falls on deaf ears, or ones which don't believe what I say. The great divide is I cannot see the World through your eyes. I am way too different than you. You cannot see the World through my eyes, because, well that is impossible. I am way too different than ways you can fathom. I helped try bring you along to my path, and that has been a big failure.
It isn't like I have some great big agenda. This thing here is fluid as heck. Remember back in my early blogging days?? Sheesh, I was scared at times people would read my shit.
Heimleblog got a little weird. The Journey was a little too personal, but nothing mattered really. Those of you who were along for the ride knew every day *mostly* I would wake up strong, and be ready to go.
Yeah yeah yeah, I have a ton of confidence. I am not scared of me. If I get a little whacky and crazy I don't double guess it. There is no need, because the impossible has been done. My path has been laid with golden bricks. A blessing does that. You see we are unable to accomplish perfection, so our path will be beset with all kinds of inequities and imperfections. You will not escape it. I had to do many many many things to learn my place, but also to get to a point where I am accepted for me.
Not for my perfection, and my willingness to work, really because like the thief on the cross I was able to throw away the safe, and grab onto the truth.
In that regard he is much stronger. He is am much more wiserer and smarterest than you. I told you truth will be the hardest thing you do, because that shit ain't no fun and games. Ya gotta throw out all the fairy tales, because the greatest gift is the fairy tale yet to be made for you. Your life.
It is a crazy journey, and chances are you will be made to look foolish. Don't worry though. You won't look any more foolish than I think you are already. ;)
HAHA
Anyway people are still looking for the Saints here, and they aren't here. You are not one, and either are anyone else. Accept your journey. We all are the thief on the cross, unless somehow someway you are the one who is perfect?? Was that you?? If so, I apologize.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. As you know I have been doing different things with my jobs. Yesterday I had a ton of stuff I wanted to get done with both. Mostly successful too. I wanted to get one little more thing done last night, but ran out of time. I will have plenty of time to get it done tonight though. Doing new stuff is stressful. Especially when you demand a lot of yourself, but are not experienced enough to know how much time it all takes. Pretty happy with my work yesterday.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I have blogged on and on and on and on. Mostly what I say falls on deaf ears, or ones which don't believe what I say. The great divide is I cannot see the World through your eyes. I am way too different than you. You cannot see the World through my eyes, because, well that is impossible. I am way too different than ways you can fathom. I helped try bring you along to my path, and that has been a big failure.
It isn't like I have some great big agenda. This thing here is fluid as heck. Remember back in my early blogging days?? Sheesh, I was scared at times people would read my shit.
Heimleblog got a little weird. The Journey was a little too personal, but nothing mattered really. Those of you who were along for the ride knew every day *mostly* I would wake up strong, and be ready to go.
Yeah yeah yeah, I have a ton of confidence. I am not scared of me. If I get a little whacky and crazy I don't double guess it. There is no need, because the impossible has been done. My path has been laid with golden bricks. A blessing does that. You see we are unable to accomplish perfection, so our path will be beset with all kinds of inequities and imperfections. You will not escape it. I had to do many many many things to learn my place, but also to get to a point where I am accepted for me.
Not for my perfection, and my willingness to work, really because like the thief on the cross I was able to throw away the safe, and grab onto the truth.
In that regard he is much stronger. He is am much more wiserer and smarterest than you. I told you truth will be the hardest thing you do, because that shit ain't no fun and games. Ya gotta throw out all the fairy tales, because the greatest gift is the fairy tale yet to be made for you. Your life.
It is a crazy journey, and chances are you will be made to look foolish. Don't worry though. You won't look any more foolish than I think you are already. ;)
HAHA
Anyway people are still looking for the Saints here, and they aren't here. You are not one, and either are anyone else. Accept your journey. We all are the thief on the cross, unless somehow someway you are the one who is perfect?? Was that you?? If so, I apologize.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. As you know I have been doing different things with my jobs. Yesterday I had a ton of stuff I wanted to get done with both. Mostly successful too. I wanted to get one little more thing done last night, but ran out of time. I will have plenty of time to get it done tonight though. Doing new stuff is stressful. Especially when you demand a lot of yourself, but are not experienced enough to know how much time it all takes. Pretty happy with my work yesterday.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Back In The Day I Had A Blog...
Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I slept a lot last night. I tweaked my back last week, so I have been walking like an old older man than I already am. ;) Working through it was difficult at times, especially since all I do is physical. Always on my feet, always moving, and always lifting. I managed to survive the hardest days, so I guess I'll be okay. I haven't had my back go out on me for a few years. Haven't had much problem since my back surgery a million years ago.
I had a family member die. I wasn't close with her. I didn't know her really. I know very little of her life, and really little of her family. It is my real mom's side, and they are a pretty close knit group from what I gather, but that is a story for a different time, and perhaps a different blog. ;)
From where this thing started to where it is going is quite a trip. Goes to show you how you think things are going to go, to how they really will go is way different than you can imagine.
Remember when this blog here started up, and I was 2/3s done?? The rest will be done for me, because I will have the help of the one who overcame, so all is assured. My path is set. It isn't going how I expected. The third and final thing I thought I would have done a long time ago. My blog is the wait though, so it is a blog of patience.
Tough things need to be done. People have to accept the truth, make the right steps, overcome yourself. Give up your coin for a better coin.
People are too too busy though. Wait, I just have this one thing to do. Let me just do this. Oh man look at all this that needs to be done.
I know I know, you are all too busy to give any time to who you should. Your life, and you are way too important. I get it. I get selfish, and all the virtues you lack.
BUT HEY, at least you are eating gluten free, and you have life nailed. You know what it is all about, and the way your path is going. BECAUSE your vision is better than all others. You are smarter than all others, and you are the master of your own destiny.
Now since you are the master of your own destiny just like Anne Frank, and every other person who walked this Earth. How will you escape death??
The stuff inside you right now that makes you smarter than the ashes and dust you turn into. What happens to that?? Is that all just organic chemistry??
Logic- dust and ashes is what makes who you are today??
So much to do, and any great journey starts with one step. As it so happens for you it is a blind step. One in which you are not strong, because in this World, and this Journey, you have absolutely no idea what happens.
You are not the master of your own domain here. It is a choice. One in which you don't want to make, because you have so many things here to accomplish on Earth.
Not to mention who wants to be humbled??
Oh well.
Later.
I had a family member die. I wasn't close with her. I didn't know her really. I know very little of her life, and really little of her family. It is my real mom's side, and they are a pretty close knit group from what I gather, but that is a story for a different time, and perhaps a different blog. ;)
From where this thing started to where it is going is quite a trip. Goes to show you how you think things are going to go, to how they really will go is way different than you can imagine.
Remember when this blog here started up, and I was 2/3s done?? The rest will be done for me, because I will have the help of the one who overcame, so all is assured. My path is set. It isn't going how I expected. The third and final thing I thought I would have done a long time ago. My blog is the wait though, so it is a blog of patience.
Tough things need to be done. People have to accept the truth, make the right steps, overcome yourself. Give up your coin for a better coin.
People are too too busy though. Wait, I just have this one thing to do. Let me just do this. Oh man look at all this that needs to be done.
I know I know, you are all too busy to give any time to who you should. Your life, and you are way too important. I get it. I get selfish, and all the virtues you lack.
BUT HEY, at least you are eating gluten free, and you have life nailed. You know what it is all about, and the way your path is going. BECAUSE your vision is better than all others. You are smarter than all others, and you are the master of your own destiny.
Now since you are the master of your own destiny just like Anne Frank, and every other person who walked this Earth. How will you escape death??
The stuff inside you right now that makes you smarter than the ashes and dust you turn into. What happens to that?? Is that all just organic chemistry??
Logic- dust and ashes is what makes who you are today??
So much to do, and any great journey starts with one step. As it so happens for you it is a blind step. One in which you are not strong, because in this World, and this Journey, you have absolutely no idea what happens.
You are not the master of your own domain here. It is a choice. One in which you don't want to make, because you have so many things here to accomplish on Earth.
Not to mention who wants to be humbled??
Oh well.
Later.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Coffee And A Blog...
Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I am up this morning, and I took a good look around. I realize I got a crap load to do today. YIKES!! Grass needs to be cut, dishes need to be done, laundry needs to be done. I have to get a little run in with the Hopester. YIKES. I work tonight too.
Anyway I don't have a lot on my mind right now. Yesterday was a good fun day. I slept til 3PM which is a record I believe. I went shopping for the dinner I wanted to make. Listened to music. I got a message from job #2 for some more work coming my way if I want it. I want. I switched positions at the grocery store which will cut down some of my hours there, so picking up more hours at job #2 = perfect. I get paid more at job #2 too, so win win really.
Hold on, I am going to get me some coffee, and I will brb.
Okay I got me some coffee. So what are you guys up to. How is life going for you?? Expectations vs. reality is quite a thing huh?? Inside us all are many many many many expectations. Expectations differ quite a bit from reality.
Inside us are things like soul mate, and unconditional love, and happily ever after. Things like that. Those things are not real. People are not perfect so to seek out the perfect life is really silly. A lot of that crap has fucked people up forever. Promises of Nationalism, and Capitalism, and any other ism being the end all philosophy also limits us to the truth too.
We were born into this World destined to be messed up. All our learning probably messed us up more. All we have to read, and all we have to look at is less than perfect. All avenues lead to some more imperfect stuff. There is only one avenue which leads to the perfect, but the promise of all false avenues still entice people.
Why?? Because how can we trust what we cannot see?? We cannot see the future, and all we know is the way of Society. The way of the imperfect. It is all we have the courage to trust too.
I get it. I get how this blog is too, because I once very long ago was just like you. To get me to open my eyes took A LOT. I forget how me being different makes so much so easy.
The thing that probably scared me the most in my life is probably the thing that currently makes me the strongest. I am open. I am seen, and what I thought I needed way back when I didn't. Do you have any idea how blind and ignorant I was throughout my whole journey?? Eventually that one Summer I saw the end game, but how to get there I had no idea. I was willing to work for it, and more than anything it is a waiting game.
Remember that one lady who "warned" me, you must have the patience of Job. Well, that crap is easy to me now, because I am on the other side of Job's ordeals. The tough stuff has been done. The suffering has been done, and things are good for me.
It is your time now to go through the tough stuff. Ya gotta be willing. The tough stuff is what I have been saying all along. Just the truth. The truth of you, and your life, and all those typsa things.
A personal journey of yours that has almost nothing to do with your day to day, and your Worldly goals. Those are just some of the silly things in your mind you feel are important.
So anyway, I don't really have much today. I have a lot to do though.
I don't know how this goes from here to be honest. I watch, and wait though. I help when I can, but the superficial crap I hope you believe me when I say I couldn't care less. I am unimpressed, and don't give a crap. I had my own life to deal with, and I did it successfully. It is your turn.
Keep it real. Stay strong. Don't presume anything you do is of any importance. It isn't.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. What to make for dinner tonight??? Hmmmnm...
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Anyway I don't have a lot on my mind right now. Yesterday was a good fun day. I slept til 3PM which is a record I believe. I went shopping for the dinner I wanted to make. Listened to music. I got a message from job #2 for some more work coming my way if I want it. I want. I switched positions at the grocery store which will cut down some of my hours there, so picking up more hours at job #2 = perfect. I get paid more at job #2 too, so win win really.
Hold on, I am going to get me some coffee, and I will brb.
Okay I got me some coffee. So what are you guys up to. How is life going for you?? Expectations vs. reality is quite a thing huh?? Inside us all are many many many many expectations. Expectations differ quite a bit from reality.
Inside us are things like soul mate, and unconditional love, and happily ever after. Things like that. Those things are not real. People are not perfect so to seek out the perfect life is really silly. A lot of that crap has fucked people up forever. Promises of Nationalism, and Capitalism, and any other ism being the end all philosophy also limits us to the truth too.
We were born into this World destined to be messed up. All our learning probably messed us up more. All we have to read, and all we have to look at is less than perfect. All avenues lead to some more imperfect stuff. There is only one avenue which leads to the perfect, but the promise of all false avenues still entice people.
Why?? Because how can we trust what we cannot see?? We cannot see the future, and all we know is the way of Society. The way of the imperfect. It is all we have the courage to trust too.
I get it. I get how this blog is too, because I once very long ago was just like you. To get me to open my eyes took A LOT. I forget how me being different makes so much so easy.
The thing that probably scared me the most in my life is probably the thing that currently makes me the strongest. I am open. I am seen, and what I thought I needed way back when I didn't. Do you have any idea how blind and ignorant I was throughout my whole journey?? Eventually that one Summer I saw the end game, but how to get there I had no idea. I was willing to work for it, and more than anything it is a waiting game.
Remember that one lady who "warned" me, you must have the patience of Job. Well, that crap is easy to me now, because I am on the other side of Job's ordeals. The tough stuff has been done. The suffering has been done, and things are good for me.
It is your time now to go through the tough stuff. Ya gotta be willing. The tough stuff is what I have been saying all along. Just the truth. The truth of you, and your life, and all those typsa things.
A personal journey of yours that has almost nothing to do with your day to day, and your Worldly goals. Those are just some of the silly things in your mind you feel are important.
So anyway, I don't really have much today. I have a lot to do though.
I don't know how this goes from here to be honest. I watch, and wait though. I help when I can, but the superficial crap I hope you believe me when I say I couldn't care less. I am unimpressed, and don't give a crap. I had my own life to deal with, and I did it successfully. It is your turn.
Keep it real. Stay strong. Don't presume anything you do is of any importance. It isn't.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)))
p.s. What to make for dinner tonight??? Hmmmnm...
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
It Is Morning Here in the Hamptons.
Hello, and good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. It is morning, I am up, I will drink some coffee, and go for a run in a bit.
So what have I been doing, and what have I been up to? Not much at all. I run a bit. If I had a spark of something I felt like accomplishing I would run more, but that spark isn't there. It isn't far away, I would just need to turn on the switch. Will I?? I don't know.
It doesn't make me any more or any less of a person. My life will go in any direction. It does not matter. I labor for you, but really I don't do any labor, because it is all done for me. Yesterday was a perfect case in point. I woke up from my sleep, and I had nothing on my mind. I tried to blog, but just deleted it, because it was just garbage. More than the typical garbage you may find on here. :)
The day went along, and things happened. No plan of mine, and still shit got done. What we are doing is looking at the World from different angles. Everyone grows up being a part of this World, and really ya gotta step out to look at it. In our hearts, and in our minds are fairy tales. We wanna live 'em, and we wanna have 'em. Sadly the truth of life is so much different than that.
We all want our heroes, and they aren't here. We want someone to look up to, and they are not here. We want to accomplish something, but there is nothing to accomplish. Haven't I said all this before.
Let's take a good hard and honest look at your life. What are you doing?? What are you accomplishing?? How does that make this World, this life, and others better??
It doesn't. We are born into this World, and there is nothing we will do of any significance. I know you lie to yourself saying you are important. What you do is important etc...
What is your motivation?? Why do you do the things you do?? Who are you impressing?? What major things are being done by you??
So many questions in life. Why are you not a better person?? How would you go about being a better person?? Why in our hearts is there so much "don't give a shit". What would make us give a shit??
I have lived a horrible, and yet tremendous life. I've learned many things, and seen many things you would never ever believe. It was a horrible path, but I guess I had to learn how to live naked like Adam without fear. How does one go about doing that?? In my case I had to go through a large number of ordeals. Hidden shit no one saw, and no one knew. A solo journey, and a solo life I could tell no one. Maybe at times before that bugged me, but my path gave me courage. It gave me strength, and it gave me trust.
Those are good things, and can you imagine living in a World where you don't ever 2nd guess?? Only reason one would 2nd guess stuff is if they were the manipulator of their own personal story here on Earth. Well, I will tell you what, we don't have very good vision. Your 5 and 10 year plans are silly. Your reading the tea leaves of how the future will unfold is silly.
What is it that makes us so arrogant as to be "all that"??
Inside us all is a boisterous voice. It knows shit. Knows things, and knows the way to damn near everything. It is a voice of lies. That little voice inside you is the one you should listen to, but you don't like it.
You are too fabulous to want to listen to that one. It speaks the truth, but we grew up away from the truth. We were enslaved to this World to believe other things. Anything, but the simple truth which is inside us. Takes a lot of string pulling to get to the little voice inside us. Why?? The World overpowers us. Our Demons overpower us.
Dammit we wanna feel fabulous, and we wanna be all that, but it is a different path than what you expect to get there.
I know I blog in vain, because you all want to hold onto your life, but this shit will get done somehow someway. It won't be because of me, but I am a vessel used to help in ways.
Not my plan, and not my doing. I am too stupid, and blind to be able to do anything. You all need stuff, and I help in ways, but I don't know how, and I am just a blind idiot as to how things are working.
Yesterday was a good day of me learning about me and my place.
That makes me happy. Even I need a little bit of that I guess, because this shit is taking way longer than I ever expected. Why?? Time is a question for all of us. Something we don't really understand, and there is only one who can transcend time. That is good vision. That is the best vision, but you don't trust him. You only trust yourself... still.
I know I know you are nuts. :)
That is all I got for today.
Time for a bit of a run.
Have a good one. :) xoxoxo
So what have I been doing, and what have I been up to? Not much at all. I run a bit. If I had a spark of something I felt like accomplishing I would run more, but that spark isn't there. It isn't far away, I would just need to turn on the switch. Will I?? I don't know.
It doesn't make me any more or any less of a person. My life will go in any direction. It does not matter. I labor for you, but really I don't do any labor, because it is all done for me. Yesterday was a perfect case in point. I woke up from my sleep, and I had nothing on my mind. I tried to blog, but just deleted it, because it was just garbage. More than the typical garbage you may find on here. :)
The day went along, and things happened. No plan of mine, and still shit got done. What we are doing is looking at the World from different angles. Everyone grows up being a part of this World, and really ya gotta step out to look at it. In our hearts, and in our minds are fairy tales. We wanna live 'em, and we wanna have 'em. Sadly the truth of life is so much different than that.
We all want our heroes, and they aren't here. We want someone to look up to, and they are not here. We want to accomplish something, but there is nothing to accomplish. Haven't I said all this before.
Let's take a good hard and honest look at your life. What are you doing?? What are you accomplishing?? How does that make this World, this life, and others better??
It doesn't. We are born into this World, and there is nothing we will do of any significance. I know you lie to yourself saying you are important. What you do is important etc...
What is your motivation?? Why do you do the things you do?? Who are you impressing?? What major things are being done by you??
So many questions in life. Why are you not a better person?? How would you go about being a better person?? Why in our hearts is there so much "don't give a shit". What would make us give a shit??
I have lived a horrible, and yet tremendous life. I've learned many things, and seen many things you would never ever believe. It was a horrible path, but I guess I had to learn how to live naked like Adam without fear. How does one go about doing that?? In my case I had to go through a large number of ordeals. Hidden shit no one saw, and no one knew. A solo journey, and a solo life I could tell no one. Maybe at times before that bugged me, but my path gave me courage. It gave me strength, and it gave me trust.
Those are good things, and can you imagine living in a World where you don't ever 2nd guess?? Only reason one would 2nd guess stuff is if they were the manipulator of their own personal story here on Earth. Well, I will tell you what, we don't have very good vision. Your 5 and 10 year plans are silly. Your reading the tea leaves of how the future will unfold is silly.
What is it that makes us so arrogant as to be "all that"??
Inside us all is a boisterous voice. It knows shit. Knows things, and knows the way to damn near everything. It is a voice of lies. That little voice inside you is the one you should listen to, but you don't like it.
You are too fabulous to want to listen to that one. It speaks the truth, but we grew up away from the truth. We were enslaved to this World to believe other things. Anything, but the simple truth which is inside us. Takes a lot of string pulling to get to the little voice inside us. Why?? The World overpowers us. Our Demons overpower us.
Dammit we wanna feel fabulous, and we wanna be all that, but it is a different path than what you expect to get there.
I know I blog in vain, because you all want to hold onto your life, but this shit will get done somehow someway. It won't be because of me, but I am a vessel used to help in ways.
Not my plan, and not my doing. I am too stupid, and blind to be able to do anything. You all need stuff, and I help in ways, but I don't know how, and I am just a blind idiot as to how things are working.
Yesterday was a good day of me learning about me and my place.
That makes me happy. Even I need a little bit of that I guess, because this shit is taking way longer than I ever expected. Why?? Time is a question for all of us. Something we don't really understand, and there is only one who can transcend time. That is good vision. That is the best vision, but you don't trust him. You only trust yourself... still.
I know I know you are nuts. :)
That is all I got for today.
Time for a bit of a run.
Have a good one. :) xoxoxo
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