Taco Monday!!

We had tacos last night.  :)  I love tacos.  Mondays are Mondays, and sometimes they suck.  Yesterday wasn't bad, because I slept in, worked my 8 hours.  I felt like I did a lot at work, so that is good.  Some Mondays I feel like I go through the motion, and yesterday, I felt I did a lot, so that was good. 

Lisa has Mondays off, and I plan on no running on Monday.  My legs felt good yesterday, and I could have run, but I have a plan of running Tues, Wed, and Thursday, and Saturday and Sunday.  I know myself well enough that when I am healthy, and beginning to train, I can run more than 5 days, but playing it safe this time.  I also am not going to do as much biking as I may have done in the past.  Only reason is my big biking day was always Sunday, and now my long run is Sunday.  I decided to continue working Saturdays, because the money is good.  :) 

Not a lot going on with me, and I am excited to start training again.  I feel like I am mentally prepared to train too.  Embrace the hard stuff is my new mantra.  Maybe that is how we should all be with life.  Life has a lot of hard stuff, and it is shit we have to deal with.  There are no escapes.  You can't sleep, eat, drug away stress.  You cannot exercise away stress either, so life is life.  We all have shit to deal with here and there, and when your time comes to deal with shit don't pretend it isn't there.  You have to be strong to do that shit, because for some fucking reason we want everyone to think we got our shit together, and we don't always.  One thing about life you can guarantee is shit will happen. 

So with that I say,  I am on the path to getting in shape.  As part of marathon training comes some races along the way too, and I am excited about those. 

Here is to a good summer.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  It feels good to be back in the game.   :D

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for me.   :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 

I Get Easily Irritated I Think...

I think I get easily irritated, and I am not sure why.  Maybe it is because I let people see all of me, or as much as possible...  Maybe that is it.  I am a bit wild, and a bit free. and without a ton of stress.  I am not a big fan of rules.  You know one of the things that pisses people off is "HAVE TO"  You have to do this, or that or that.  That being said there are some things people have to do.  In order to be as confident, and happy etc.. you have to be active.  A video gamer, or do nothinger will never be happy.  A person who does nothing in his/her free time will just be a jaded, and depressed person. 

I'll give you a little learning thing I had a long time ago.  This was maybe my last year of College.  I went a little longer than most of my friends.   ;)   I was living in my Dad's house he rented out to College kids, and all of a sudden all my close friends were gone.  Living in Chicago, or elsewhere.  I was living with basically strangers.  At this time I was a slob.  One of the new dudes told me this house is a mess, and he wasn't going to pay rent in this messy house.  I was like o.k.  I never felt so alone.  I am living with strangers, and this dude is making rules???  So I sulked at my loneliness for a bit, and cleaned the kitchen etc...  I mean it was spotless.  A spark was lit.  It gave me confidence, and I felt good I did that, and it gave me a sense of accomplishment.  From then on, I cleaned the place every day.  Dishes, vacuuming, cleaned the bathroom etc.. 

I guess there is where my work ethic was born.  I then finished up school, etc... always kept that work ethic, although I don't clean as much as I used to.  At that stage of the game I had no idea what my life would look like, but things happened pretty quickly after that.  I graduated college, and you know the rest.  Well some of you do...

I am a certain way, and this is me.  I do not listen to rules of I should be this way or that way, because I am an open and free spirit, and if you got shit to hide, that is your issue.  Funny how our natural tendency is to hide shit.  We don't want people to see us, although the path to happiness is allowing people to see us, but it is hard, because to let people see you you have to let your guard down, and actually be vulnerable.  It is in our weakness where we show strength, and you know what, it ain't fucking easy.  I think we want to always feel strong.  Like we are with it etc... and none of us always feel that way.  If we expose our vulnerable side it brings confidence, and healing etc...  If we hide our vulnerable side it brings anger, and other bull shit like that.  For us to be better we have to accept we really are not that strong.  It is part of our truth that goes against our natural tendency.  We have to show people we are not strong, when we "think" we really want everyone to think we are. 

some days this last part flows, and sometimes not. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  time to get me some coffee.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D 

Have Blog... Must Write...

Surprisingly I am up.  I went to bed a little later than normal.  I also haven't blogged in a couple or few days either.  Weird for me...  My blog has made a few changes too, which is weird for me too, but one thing is pretty constant.  No matter how I feel about anything, I can always shrink into the strength of me.  If I tend to get to feeling like people don't like me etc... I can walk away from damn near anything.  I throw myself out there, and I let you know how I think, and many times how just an average guy thinks, and if I feel judged or anything, I can shrink back into the strength that is me.  One that says, I know what I have been through, and I know who I am, and I'll take my damn shell off from time to time, to show you the less than perfect me, and if you don't trust me after I have been doing this so long,  Buhhhh Byyeeeee.   Without trust you got nothing, and like I said before I don't have to do this.

In some ways you can look at me as one of us all.  A less than perfect being.  I am one with flaws etc...  We all have them.  I am pretty in tune with the flaws of a typical male.  ( straight or gay, cuz I got friends that are both).  Women I don't totally understand... but what you should never underestimate is I always come back strong.  Strong as in honest,  strong as I can support those that want/need it, but if you don't trust me, when I have showed you everything, than I can walk away from anyone.  Don't ever doubt that.  In other words we all have issues.  Worry about your own fucking issues not mine.  I'll let you know mine when they come out, if there are any.

So anyway, I guess I have been going through a bit of one of those times where I was like screw this dumb ass blog, and screw the damn bloggers.  I don't need 'em.   :)

Life goes on though, and I am having a pretty good running week, and it looks like I have a new schedule.  Tuesday trail + hilly run.  Wednesday speed work, and Thursday the 6.55 mile route.  That leaves my Thursday = Friday as a non do.  :(  I do want to run long on Sunday this year though.  I like working the Saturday hours.  I am hoping Ganzi's group still does that.  I can run to and from work on Saturday, or something,  and do my long one on Sunday.  That will work best for me I think.

Not much else to talk about really.  I made the points I wanted to make.  Without trust you got nothing.  As the truth of all of us comes to the surface... accept it.  Accept your weaknesses, and the imperfections you cannot change.  It is all part of our own truth, and one we will have to be strong to accept, although it may make us feel not so great.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :) 

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  MWAH!!!    :)    xoxo

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
 
Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Doreen, Jules, and Brandy.   :)   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  They my fave.   :)

Extras for Olga toooooo.   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   She my fave tooo.   :D   :D 

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D

I Must Be A Homebody...

As time goes on and on, I think I am somebody who likes to be at home.  At the end of my workday I am always pretty excited about just being home, and relaxing.  I guess it is where I am most comfortable.  Although, I have always felt comfortable sitting at a bar too.  :) 

You know how some people can just sit at a beach and do nothing all day??  That is not me.  Lisa can do that, but that is not my makeup at all.  As time goes on I realize I like my routine.  I am not a big fan of vacations, because I tend to get lazy.  :)  I love waking up really early like today.  I love getting a workout in before work if I am able.  I was going to go do a beer run thing tonight, but already I am planning on running 6 mile before work, and when work is done, I am done... except for a few errands.  I have to get inserts for my running shoes.  Time to break open my other new pair.  It is about time.  Also need a haircut, and maybe stop for something for dinner.  Lisa will be closing.  That is nice though...  workout, work, and then done for the rest of the day.  Oh, and btw I leave work usually about 1 or 2 in the afternoon.  Kinda nice huh???   specially in the Summer.  :)

You know what I think people's hang ups are??  I think they are afraid of their dark stuff, and you know what.  Our dark stuff really isn't that dark.  In our own minds we think it is dark, but that is because we are afraid of what people might think.  Look at what Tiger Woods went through.  Remember how great everyone thought he was, and then what was he guilty of??  Having sex with hot girls.  Guys probably do that in their minds several times each week.  He cheated on his wife, and he isn't the first or last person to do that.  It is shit we probably know is "wrong" but people still do it anyway. 

Just yesterday at work there was a pretty girl who had a great figure, and I was WOAH!!!   I was in an aisle where she was standing, and kept glancing over at her.  I mean she was really attractive.  She knew it too.  As she was walking away she glanced back at me to see if I was watching her...  nope.  :)   I lucked out.  :)   Life is made up of that type of shit.  Lisa knows I look at that stuff, and she does the same fucking thing.  Pretty girls probably like to be looked at is my guess.  God knows they spend enough time clothes shopping.   :) 

Have a good one all.  I think sometimes people take life way too seriously.  Life has some serious stuff, but only because people make it so.  Life really is just this stupid ass thing we do, while everyone else pretends it is important to wear suits. 

Later... 

Just Glamming The Hell Out of Another Saturday.

Yeah, there is not much to me, and another Saturday.  There were no great things I did yesterday.  I never did take Hope for a run.  I worked for like 6.5 hours.  I then treated myself to lunch, and that was for a couple reasons.  First, I had nothing to do, and nothing I wanted to do, and I was hungry.  :)  Also Lisa was working til like 2:00, and then she was traveling after to a Big nursery Northeast of us.  So it was going to be a solo day anyway. 

Perhaps the most important part of the day... (maybe not important)...  I was sitting in our breeze way, enjoying a drink and listening to music, and watching the wind blow the leaves on the trees.  It made me think of my life, and stuff in my life, and stuff no longer in my life.  You see, I have a life, and it goes on.  It isn't anything fabulous or remotely fabulous, but it is a little something.  We all have this thing called life.  It is things that have happened to us, and that happen to us.  It isn't perfect, and we have had shit happen to us, and you know what??  You cannot be perfect, and you cannot pretend to be perfect without seeming fake.  Something we all have in common. 

So we have been reading books, and being taught by teachers etc... that we are good.  We need to be confident in ourselves, and have good self esteem, and you know what the really first step of good self esteem is??  I suck.  All that is true and all that is honest is the step to making us better people.  Strength in a person comes not from what you want to show people, but daring to take a look inside.  You know we all have secrets and shit.  What is the percentage of guys who check out porn on the internets??  I have no idea, but I bet it is high.  We are pretty gross.   :)  I don't know what girls secrets are, besides they talk about some stupid stupid shit.  :)  

We all have impure thoughts, and stuff we pretend isn't there, but it is.  All that shit is real, and all that stuff is about us.  The realest part of us, is the stuff that is inside us.  I have a feeling it takes courage to look at, and I am sure you don't want many people to know your secrets.  The thing about all our lives is we have, and continue to fuck all kindsa things up, 

I guess what I think is important is to embrace your inner asshole.  We poop, just like babies do, and all kindsa other gross shit.  We can have nice clothes, but that is just masking who we really are. 

Later.  :)

Well I Am Up...

I really have nothing to write, and I am not sure what direction this blog update will go in.  Like the title says though I am up, and I guess I will write something down.  You want to know what irritates me??  When people put on their blog, oh there are no pictures, so this will be a bad blog entry.  Ummm,  there were no pictures when I read "Catcher in The Rye"  I considered that to be one of the best blogs.  Also, Anne Frank was a blog too, and it was one without a lot of  pictures, and that was better than a lot of the stuff I read anyway. 

I don't mind pictures, and if you really feel a blog is bad because of no pictures fine,  that is your prerogative.  If you truthfully don't give a shit, than don't say a fucking thing.  Real and true is real and true.  Even if it isn't the popular thing to say.  See what that picture blog thing is??  It is just fucking propaganda someone started, and everyone for some reason jumped on board.  When you write from your heart you will find truth, and sometimes pictures are just staged stoppages in time.  Since I read a lot of blogs that are tri related for some fucking reason.  I think tri outfits look dumb.  So if you feel the need to take pictures with you in those... why???   OMG.    :)    HA HA HA  

So anyway a little something... very very minor about my life.  The weather was shitty the last two days.  There was no hanging outside, or really anything to do, so I worked a little later both days than normal, because outside of work I was  not going to do anything exciting.  One of the best things about my job is there is always stuff to do.  It ain't rocket science, but for some really fucked up and lucky reason I like doing what I do.  I joke around with a couple people at work when they see me doing one of my "special" projects.  I say, "It takes a special kind of fucked up to like what I do."   :)

So anyway work is going good, and I am doing my long run tomorrow, and am working today.  I think I will take the Hopester for a quick little run before work, and not much planned today.

A day in the life of me is pretty boring really... kinda like a blog without pictures.  :)  

Later all.  :)

Luv ya's.   :)   xoxoxo

Some Things I Know...

One of the things I know is my coffee is done, and I am going to get some.  brb.  :)

Anyway some of the things I know is what is inside us.  Imperfection is what is inside us all, and we want to be good and decent people, but we fail more often than we succeed probably.  We are selfish people, and we are weak too.  Weak in the sense we only want to show people what we think is our good side.  Who are the strong and courageous ones who will show you their less than good side??  Not many huh??  When a bright light comes, and opens up your eyes to who you are guess what??  You will not like everything about you. 

Wanna know why??  You have some weird and fucked up conception of what a good and decent person is, and you fail to live up to that.  Your conception is ever changing too. Oh look, there is a person on a diet of eating pine needles and drinking rain water.  They seem like a real nice person, and they can run fast, I think I wanna try that.  Look how skinny they are??  Who knows what kind of shit we have seen, that we try to emulate. 

I said before the world is backwards, and so are we.  We are meant to be truthful and honest people, and the only way to do that is to look inside ourselves.  Your life isn't Hitler did this so I am good.  Nope your life is you.  That is it, you...  Are you uncomfortable yet?? 

If you are going about trying to be a perfect person, and trying to show only your good side you are wasting everyone's time including your own.  Life and truth, and all those good things are a bitch.  Wanna know why??  Because we all are imperfect, and we all are awesomely great at being pretty shitty people at times. 

Being strong and honest is fucking hard, because you are showing and letting people know,  yeah...  I suck.  I mean we are human, so we shit,  straight guys are staring at girls asses, and who knows what else? 

Being strong is having the ability to let people see the real you.  That is not something that is very easy, and you definitely need help with that, and also you need support with that too, because what if you showed the whole world how miserable and horrible you are in parts, and no one said anything?? 

The true shit about life is not a spectator sport, it is something to be active in. 

Let your hair down and show people hey,  I am not fucking perfect, but I have the courage to show, and let you know. 

Later all.  :)