For those who read this blog, just want to drop you a line. This blog is over. I may not have anymore updates left. I don't want to make it sound morbid or anything, cause it is not. Whatever the reasons I blogged for the last however long is done. The work is done, although it really wasn't work, cause I loved it.
I would like to thank all of you for reading!! :)
I really appreciate it!! :)
I am writing this, cause, well I update almost every day, and now I won't be. :)
now back to my regularly scheduled coffee. :)
Special thanks to Beth and Maija who put me on their right hand side. What an honor!!! :)
Now for really really cya cya cya!!! :)
p.s. This one was much easier than the other two. :) I didn't even delete!! :)
oh yeah, xo's!!! :)
Love you all, and all that other stuff too. :)
Friday, November 19, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
A Day To Myself
Monday?? Weekend Over?? All Around Not great mood?? All these contribute to a Day to myself?? Perhaps, who knows?? I was to myself though. I did get a run in. I was going on my 4.2 mile loop, but had to cut it short due to bathroom issues finding their way from one area to another. I decided to do the smart thing, and head home. :) I didn't map it out, but I assume 3.4-3.45 @ 29:45. I have no idea what that is. Don't really care, I am not training for anything, but it felt good to be out running again. I almost thought about yelling out from the top of my lungs "I RAN AGAIN", but even decided against that. Like I said a day to myself.
We moved Lisa's mom out yesterday. I worked as I do most things. As quick as possible getting the boxes in her new room. I don't fuck around, I just get the work done. At least when it comes to things like that. We got everything moved but her chair. I went to a bar by myself. Not my typical Monday deal btw, but I didn't particularly want to go home, and I wanted to be by myself. Ummm btw... there were way more people drinking on a Monday than I expected. wtf?? I mean having a drink fine, but this seemed like the norm for these people. Eat out, and have drinks on a Monday. SHEESH!! I like a drink sure, but man, that surprised me. Maybe people are lonely, and want company. There were couples though. I don't know, it seemed weird to me.
Anyway that is the end of a story kinda. My life with Jackie is over. I thought about it, and for once felt sad for her. I mean she has a nice big window, but she is alone. I know Lisa will visit her, and Hailey, and maybe even Kevin. I won't... probably. I do feel sorry for her though. I knew her direction. I have known it for a long time. It wasn't a positive direction, and you know, that lifestyle leads to one thing, and one thing only. Sadness. Maybe all lifestyles lead to sadness. Maybe that is one of life's answers. We can do everything by the book, but you know we will still be sad. People die, people are alone sometimes. Maybe we are lonely sometimes. Does anyone really understand you?? Maybe if Jackie opened up to her family, they could understand her better. I see this old lady, well not really old. 65 year old lady, who is like 95 health wise. She has her big window to look out. She has her t.v. She has some movies, and all this knick knack shit. Fuck, that is sad to me.
I saw a lady there who was skinny, got around pretty well, and was living there. No family?? That seems weird to me too, that family wouldn't take her in if they had the ability. I mean that is a sad looking place to live. Maybe people are selfish. I know I am, I knew I was.
Want to know my frustration with Jackie?? We took her in. She would have to pay some rent. It basically came down to like 25% of her income. When disability ran out we cut her rent even more. She went from not being afford to paying any bills to only having that one. We told her to cook some meals sometime too. We can all share in that right? Well that didn't materialize. She cooked very few meals. We somehow were in charge of all her dinners. SHEESH!! Didn't know I signed up for that. I told her WOW!! your life is unstressful now, you can do whatever. My first thought was write a book. I mean she was 50-whatever at the time, why not write a book so your family can at least know you in that way right? I was basically talking to a wall. OMG, she had no motivation for anything. I never knew that existed. I always think people will figure it out. I always hope for the best. She did less and less day over day, and year over year. What have I tried to do?? More and more year over year.
So I don't understand her. At this point I don't even want to. She probably has stuff from her life she buried, and did not look at. So she ate, was lazy, and felt the victim. Well, you know we all are victims. We all are living lives, and none of ours are perfect, but we can still try at shit right? I mean I didn't bring my A game at work yesterday, but doesn't mean it won't be here today. I was a little out of it yesterday, but the fire is burning today. Ready to get at it. I was joking with Lisa yesterday, well everybody at work. I told them I was saving the world. One inventory at a time. :) In all things pertaining to world importance my job is as stupid as most others. I still try though... most of the time. Yesterday, I just went through the motions, but today will be better.
So anyway a chapter in my life is done. I am sad for Jackie. It could have been better for her. I mean she had the power to make things better. Anne Frank was a victim. As much as anyone else. She still had bright days. She still was introspective. She still was honest with herself. She was scared. She was growing up in bad conditions. I know I know why do I always bring up Anne Frank?? One reason and one reason only. She impressed me.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Once again the p.s. is just so I can write this:
now for really really cya cya cya!!! :)
We moved Lisa's mom out yesterday. I worked as I do most things. As quick as possible getting the boxes in her new room. I don't fuck around, I just get the work done. At least when it comes to things like that. We got everything moved but her chair. I went to a bar by myself. Not my typical Monday deal btw, but I didn't particularly want to go home, and I wanted to be by myself. Ummm btw... there were way more people drinking on a Monday than I expected. wtf?? I mean having a drink fine, but this seemed like the norm for these people. Eat out, and have drinks on a Monday. SHEESH!! I like a drink sure, but man, that surprised me. Maybe people are lonely, and want company. There were couples though. I don't know, it seemed weird to me.
Anyway that is the end of a story kinda. My life with Jackie is over. I thought about it, and for once felt sad for her. I mean she has a nice big window, but she is alone. I know Lisa will visit her, and Hailey, and maybe even Kevin. I won't... probably. I do feel sorry for her though. I knew her direction. I have known it for a long time. It wasn't a positive direction, and you know, that lifestyle leads to one thing, and one thing only. Sadness. Maybe all lifestyles lead to sadness. Maybe that is one of life's answers. We can do everything by the book, but you know we will still be sad. People die, people are alone sometimes. Maybe we are lonely sometimes. Does anyone really understand you?? Maybe if Jackie opened up to her family, they could understand her better. I see this old lady, well not really old. 65 year old lady, who is like 95 health wise. She has her big window to look out. She has her t.v. She has some movies, and all this knick knack shit. Fuck, that is sad to me.
I saw a lady there who was skinny, got around pretty well, and was living there. No family?? That seems weird to me too, that family wouldn't take her in if they had the ability. I mean that is a sad looking place to live. Maybe people are selfish. I know I am, I knew I was.
Want to know my frustration with Jackie?? We took her in. She would have to pay some rent. It basically came down to like 25% of her income. When disability ran out we cut her rent even more. She went from not being afford to paying any bills to only having that one. We told her to cook some meals sometime too. We can all share in that right? Well that didn't materialize. She cooked very few meals. We somehow were in charge of all her dinners. SHEESH!! Didn't know I signed up for that. I told her WOW!! your life is unstressful now, you can do whatever. My first thought was write a book. I mean she was 50-whatever at the time, why not write a book so your family can at least know you in that way right? I was basically talking to a wall. OMG, she had no motivation for anything. I never knew that existed. I always think people will figure it out. I always hope for the best. She did less and less day over day, and year over year. What have I tried to do?? More and more year over year.
So I don't understand her. At this point I don't even want to. She probably has stuff from her life she buried, and did not look at. So she ate, was lazy, and felt the victim. Well, you know we all are victims. We all are living lives, and none of ours are perfect, but we can still try at shit right? I mean I didn't bring my A game at work yesterday, but doesn't mean it won't be here today. I was a little out of it yesterday, but the fire is burning today. Ready to get at it. I was joking with Lisa yesterday, well everybody at work. I told them I was saving the world. One inventory at a time. :) In all things pertaining to world importance my job is as stupid as most others. I still try though... most of the time. Yesterday, I just went through the motions, but today will be better.
So anyway a chapter in my life is done. I am sad for Jackie. It could have been better for her. I mean she had the power to make things better. Anne Frank was a victim. As much as anyone else. She still had bright days. She still was introspective. She still was honest with herself. She was scared. She was growing up in bad conditions. I know I know why do I always bring up Anne Frank?? One reason and one reason only. She impressed me.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Once again the p.s. is just so I can write this:
now for really really cya cya cya!!! :)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Movie Day!!!
Okay, so yesterday I just wanted to go out and see a movie. There really weren't any good ones that I saw, so I decided to see "The Hereafter" with Lisa. It was o.k. Nothing great, but there really isn't anything great out at the Theaters right now, so we had to pick from what was available. The only other one was "RED" I think that was the name of it, but hasn't the Cold War been done to death already?? I mean I read a ton of Clancy, and a ton of Ludlum, and others not to mention all the non-fiction. It did make me think of Stalin for yesterday's blog though. :) Yeah that paranoid dude killed millions of his own countrymen, because he thought they were a threat to his power. Now no country is going to be better, or get better if it kills it's brightest people. He ended up killing his most talented people. Faith is also seeing a direction. If you see something like that happen you know it isn't going to end up anywhere good. You see someone instilling anger in people, you know that isn't going to lead to peace.
I watched "Mulan" finally. I liked it. It made me think of daughters and their relationships with their Dads. I have enough experience with girlfriends, and friends who were girls to know those are not always perfect. I have had girlfriends and friends who were girls who tried so hard to get their father to notice, but you know Fathers are not perfect. They have their own lives, and they live them too. My most vivid experience is with my post-hospital girlfriend Natalie. She worked so hard, and was so quietly trying to get her father to notice, but it didn't work. He had too much stuff going in his life. She liked me, because she saw I was quiet, I barely talked to anyone after the hospital. We became friends, I started biking, and we accidentally became more than friends. I think I hurt her, but didn't think I would, or could, because I didn't think she really cared, but I was hurting when she was gone. I thought about her all the time. She was in Denmark, and I was in Normal. When she got back, and I was feeling better, I treated her badly. If I could do it all over again I would not have hurt her, but we don't always see what we do. One thing I do know is we were definitely not meant to be together. Why??? who knows, but I am here in Holland, and this stuff is being done for a reason.
Even Katrina had issues with her Dad, and I won't go into that, but it wrecked a marriage, a relationship, and I hurt Katrina too on top of the stuff she had going. WOAH!! What a dick I am huh?? SHEESH, I hurt a lot of people come to think of it... here and there.
The best movie I saw yesterday is one we rented. It is with John Travolta, and Scarlett Johannson. It is a pretty darn good movie, with a good story. The name of it was "A Love Song For Bobby Long" Now that was some real life stuff. These people were imperfect as they come. Their lives were imperfect, but through all their bad they found redemption through... I guess being honest. Being honest with themselves, with each other, and also finding out the truth about their lives. Travolta was an old retired English Professor, so there were all these awesome Literature quotes he used too. I totally totally recommend you see that one. It is good.
I also saw "No Country For Old Men" I forgot I saw that, but it is still good. What a freak that dude was. No reason for me to watch all the movies yesterday, but I like to be inspired. I like to view things, and think about them. Sometimes movies are good for that.
In other news Jackie moves out today. She has so much useless bullshit. omg That is her life. The accumulation of knick knack bullshit. Annoying all the people she cared about, which basically boils down to a handful now. The watching of stupid T.V. shows. Not a thing inspired her in her life. Nothing made her get up in the morning, and strive for something. Just hearing her talk annoys me. To be honest she annoys everyone else too. I don't feel bad for her, because most things she did to herself. Not everyone will understand you. She has issues I am sure, but FUCK!!
I had a full day yesterday!!! :)
But that is it for today... as far as this blog goes!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. It is Monday, and I don't feel like working at the local lumberyard today, but guess I will anyway. :)
now for really really cya cya cya. :)
I watched "Mulan" finally. I liked it. It made me think of daughters and their relationships with their Dads. I have enough experience with girlfriends, and friends who were girls to know those are not always perfect. I have had girlfriends and friends who were girls who tried so hard to get their father to notice, but you know Fathers are not perfect. They have their own lives, and they live them too. My most vivid experience is with my post-hospital girlfriend Natalie. She worked so hard, and was so quietly trying to get her father to notice, but it didn't work. He had too much stuff going in his life. She liked me, because she saw I was quiet, I barely talked to anyone after the hospital. We became friends, I started biking, and we accidentally became more than friends. I think I hurt her, but didn't think I would, or could, because I didn't think she really cared, but I was hurting when she was gone. I thought about her all the time. She was in Denmark, and I was in Normal. When she got back, and I was feeling better, I treated her badly. If I could do it all over again I would not have hurt her, but we don't always see what we do. One thing I do know is we were definitely not meant to be together. Why??? who knows, but I am here in Holland, and this stuff is being done for a reason.
Even Katrina had issues with her Dad, and I won't go into that, but it wrecked a marriage, a relationship, and I hurt Katrina too on top of the stuff she had going. WOAH!! What a dick I am huh?? SHEESH, I hurt a lot of people come to think of it... here and there.
The best movie I saw yesterday is one we rented. It is with John Travolta, and Scarlett Johannson. It is a pretty darn good movie, with a good story. The name of it was "A Love Song For Bobby Long" Now that was some real life stuff. These people were imperfect as they come. Their lives were imperfect, but through all their bad they found redemption through... I guess being honest. Being honest with themselves, with each other, and also finding out the truth about their lives. Travolta was an old retired English Professor, so there were all these awesome Literature quotes he used too. I totally totally recommend you see that one. It is good.
I also saw "No Country For Old Men" I forgot I saw that, but it is still good. What a freak that dude was. No reason for me to watch all the movies yesterday, but I like to be inspired. I like to view things, and think about them. Sometimes movies are good for that.
In other news Jackie moves out today. She has so much useless bullshit. omg That is her life. The accumulation of knick knack bullshit. Annoying all the people she cared about, which basically boils down to a handful now. The watching of stupid T.V. shows. Not a thing inspired her in her life. Nothing made her get up in the morning, and strive for something. Just hearing her talk annoys me. To be honest she annoys everyone else too. I don't feel bad for her, because most things she did to herself. Not everyone will understand you. She has issues I am sure, but FUCK!!
I had a full day yesterday!!! :)
But that is it for today... as far as this blog goes!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. It is Monday, and I don't feel like working at the local lumberyard today, but guess I will anyway. :)
now for really really cya cya cya. :)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Oh Dear Is This Going To Be Long!! :)
The Example:
In order for me to graduate College, I had to prove to Illinois State University I could write. I wrote an essay, which really ended up being a precursor to what I would do. I was to look at life objectively. Upbringing and all. I said I had to, because of the example I used. If I grew up in a small town in the South. A racist town of all whites. I had relatives who were all racist, what would make ME not racist?? Nothing. I would have to look at life, my upbringing, everything with an objective eye, because, what if things are wrong?
Examples I didn't use. What if I were a 20 year old German in 1942. What might I have done??
If I were a KGB agent during Stalin's reign of terror, how many might I have purged??
You see you guys have a good set of eyes. You have to believe what you see, because truth is truth whether good or bad. Life is life, and a lot of times it is bad. Look at Anne Frank's life. What was she 10 or 11, and the rest of her life was in hiding, until they were found out, and she died in the camp. She is one of my favorite people I have read.
I see stuff is coming to the surface for you. You don't want to believe. You want it to be like the old days, where everything seemed simpler. Well, those days are done, because we have to do this.
Look at my timing. I graduated College in 1990. My step-Mom died Christmas of 1991. I was in the hospital of July of 1992. I looked at it. I believed, and I did what I did. You can trust, because look at me. Am I dishonest? Did I have fun?? Do I have fun?? I suffered through some stuff for a reason. I plan on suffering through some more stuff, because I have to. I am not afraid, because I have one who gives me courage. I was scared at the end of the Journey, remember I deleted everything, and wanted to hide, because I was being judged constantly as being bad. I had help overcoming the obstacle. Now I have help again, and I think you know what I am talking about.
Trust.... I have been through it. This ain't easy like I said, but whose life has been easy?? Did you want to be one of those Chinese people who ran over the kids in Tienanmen Square? I know you don't want to believe what you see, but you have to. You just do.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
I know this may be a tough day for you, but stay strong!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I am going to take Lisa to a movie today. The Hereafter. seems interesting. Hope it is good. :)
Now for really really cya cya cya!!! :)
In order for me to graduate College, I had to prove to Illinois State University I could write. I wrote an essay, which really ended up being a precursor to what I would do. I was to look at life objectively. Upbringing and all. I said I had to, because of the example I used. If I grew up in a small town in the South. A racist town of all whites. I had relatives who were all racist, what would make ME not racist?? Nothing. I would have to look at life, my upbringing, everything with an objective eye, because, what if things are wrong?
Examples I didn't use. What if I were a 20 year old German in 1942. What might I have done??
If I were a KGB agent during Stalin's reign of terror, how many might I have purged??
You see you guys have a good set of eyes. You have to believe what you see, because truth is truth whether good or bad. Life is life, and a lot of times it is bad. Look at Anne Frank's life. What was she 10 or 11, and the rest of her life was in hiding, until they were found out, and she died in the camp. She is one of my favorite people I have read.
I see stuff is coming to the surface for you. You don't want to believe. You want it to be like the old days, where everything seemed simpler. Well, those days are done, because we have to do this.
Look at my timing. I graduated College in 1990. My step-Mom died Christmas of 1991. I was in the hospital of July of 1992. I looked at it. I believed, and I did what I did. You can trust, because look at me. Am I dishonest? Did I have fun?? Do I have fun?? I suffered through some stuff for a reason. I plan on suffering through some more stuff, because I have to. I am not afraid, because I have one who gives me courage. I was scared at the end of the Journey, remember I deleted everything, and wanted to hide, because I was being judged constantly as being bad. I had help overcoming the obstacle. Now I have help again, and I think you know what I am talking about.
Trust.... I have been through it. This ain't easy like I said, but whose life has been easy?? Did you want to be one of those Chinese people who ran over the kids in Tienanmen Square? I know you don't want to believe what you see, but you have to. You just do.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
I know this may be a tough day for you, but stay strong!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I am going to take Lisa to a movie today. The Hereafter. seems interesting. Hope it is good. :)
Now for really really cya cya cya!!! :)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Turtle Shell mini baskets of the enzyme Microbe.
Oh yeah, gonna be one of them. So I was going to go into work at 5:00 but decided to sleep a bit more. I slept til like 4:30. I was up in time, but was like screw it I am tired. :) Go in at 6:00 I think. I think I only have a few hours left in my project, so that will be cool. It will be nice to get it done.
You should check out Sugarleg's last post. She races like I did. For fun. Her and her friends struggled through some stuff, but they trained with a goal in mind. They had some hard days, but race day was fun. She does it like I did too. Beer afterwards, and celebrating. I am glad they had such a good time, because not all their days were fun.
I have a feeling some of you are wondering about me. I got some input yesterday. You are wondering. What is going to happen to me?? The answer is there, but not sure if your time is to know it now. Ever hear that saying keep your enemies close, or something like that?? I sure have done that huh?? I kept them inside of me. Am I strong?? Or did someone pick me for something. My spiritual journey I did not ask to do, but kinda I did. I said if there is some reason I am here let me do that instead of anything else. Remember?? Holy Crikey I had no idea what it would entail. I still did it. I was soooooo scared through a lot of it. The summer of 1992 was so scary. Heimleblog was scary, and The Journey. I loved writing every day, but felt sooo scared after I wrote it. What would people think??
Now we close in on the end of one thing, and the beginning of another. My end, but also my beginning. It should be interesting. What happens after I am not sure. That will be interesting. Hey, it isn't my plan though right?? I am just along for the ride. I have been scooped up to do this thing. I said I was willing back in 1992. The time comes near. How that all unfolds I know not. It will be interesting. Some of you will share in what I suffer through. You are tough though, so you will deal with it fine. It will be hard, but you do hard stuff. You live life. That is hard a lot of times.
Well, that is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. gonna send a secret message to N.O.T!!! :) I have a lot of tumbelrings to look at from her sis Olga too. I usually comment on those too. I think of you all tho. You see my mind is made like that. I can think of anyone at anyone time. I can feel you in my heart too. :) pretty neat.
p.p.s. I once was rich in spirit, and then most of it was taken away. It was soooooo scary. Blessed are those who are poor in spirit tho right?? :) These are things you will understand. All but one.
now for really really cya cya cya. :)
You should check out Sugarleg's last post. She races like I did. For fun. Her and her friends struggled through some stuff, but they trained with a goal in mind. They had some hard days, but race day was fun. She does it like I did too. Beer afterwards, and celebrating. I am glad they had such a good time, because not all their days were fun.
I have a feeling some of you are wondering about me. I got some input yesterday. You are wondering. What is going to happen to me?? The answer is there, but not sure if your time is to know it now. Ever hear that saying keep your enemies close, or something like that?? I sure have done that huh?? I kept them inside of me. Am I strong?? Or did someone pick me for something. My spiritual journey I did not ask to do, but kinda I did. I said if there is some reason I am here let me do that instead of anything else. Remember?? Holy Crikey I had no idea what it would entail. I still did it. I was soooooo scared through a lot of it. The summer of 1992 was so scary. Heimleblog was scary, and The Journey. I loved writing every day, but felt sooo scared after I wrote it. What would people think??
Now we close in on the end of one thing, and the beginning of another. My end, but also my beginning. It should be interesting. What happens after I am not sure. That will be interesting. Hey, it isn't my plan though right?? I am just along for the ride. I have been scooped up to do this thing. I said I was willing back in 1992. The time comes near. How that all unfolds I know not. It will be interesting. Some of you will share in what I suffer through. You are tough though, so you will deal with it fine. It will be hard, but you do hard stuff. You live life. That is hard a lot of times.
Well, that is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. gonna send a secret message to N.O.T!!! :) I have a lot of tumbelrings to look at from her sis Olga too. I usually comment on those too. I think of you all tho. You see my mind is made like that. I can think of anyone at anyone time. I can feel you in my heart too. :) pretty neat.
p.p.s. I once was rich in spirit, and then most of it was taken away. It was soooooo scary. Blessed are those who are poor in spirit tho right?? :) These are things you will understand. All but one.
now for really really cya cya cya. :)
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Snowdens Of Yesteryear... Better, Worse, or Equal Than Coffee Buffaloes??
Oh, and yes, please show your work. I'll need more than the answer. :)
Well, I have a title today at least, but not much more I don't think, so let's just see where this goes. You know sometimes I am mean too I guess. I don't like to be. This blog here is crazy crazy. You know why?? Well, I know why. I know what it is. It is o.k. Just don't ask me the questions. That is all. We can talk about other stuff.
Oh and don't get mad at what I write here. These are just thoughts. I have a feeling it hits people in different ways, but they are thoughts. Our country is founded on being able to write this down. Think you can do that in China? So for all the bad this country does, and it does do bad. Don't doubt it for a second, we do have a Constitution that let's me tell you this country does do bad. For those religious you know Jesus would have NEVER died for America. He died for another reason. At least keep that straight. o.k.???
Well, I did not know I was going to be so serious on this thing. SHEESH!!! From title to subject who woulda thought??
I would like to congratulate Nancy O'Toole for getting a 100% on a Pathophysiology test. That is a big big deal. Know why?? It is a college exam, and I don't even know what the heck Pathophysiology means. I know more about coffee buffaloes than Pathophysiology. I am kinda an expert at coffee buffaloes though, so pretty much awesome in that regard. :)
I really don't have much today to be honest, but I guess I can just go and go and go. I'll spare you though. :)
You know none of us are perfect. I had a good day yesterday. I looked at leaves that were changing colors. Most of the leaves on the little tree were off, but the leaves were purple. Maroonish really. I liked it. :)
I saw a pretty red sunrise. The local lumberyard is good for sunrises. :) I saw 3 orange streaks across the blue sky before sunset. I cried about stuff. Lisa saw the tears in my eyes. I think people get a glimpse of my heart when I write stuff. They get a glimpse of pain, glimpse of joy, glimpse of humor. I think you can see my heart.
Why you get mad I don't know. That is kinda weird to me too. I know the purpose of this though. I know the fight you have with yourself. An internal battle. I have been through it. 1990 I think. You want to do good, and be good. You do, but there is always the other stuff huh? The stuff we don't want.
I guess that is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. running party tonight. Should be fun!!! :) I have run my last race.
now for really really cya cya cya!!! :)
Well, I have a title today at least, but not much more I don't think, so let's just see where this goes. You know sometimes I am mean too I guess. I don't like to be. This blog here is crazy crazy. You know why?? Well, I know why. I know what it is. It is o.k. Just don't ask me the questions. That is all. We can talk about other stuff.
Oh and don't get mad at what I write here. These are just thoughts. I have a feeling it hits people in different ways, but they are thoughts. Our country is founded on being able to write this down. Think you can do that in China? So for all the bad this country does, and it does do bad. Don't doubt it for a second, we do have a Constitution that let's me tell you this country does do bad. For those religious you know Jesus would have NEVER died for America. He died for another reason. At least keep that straight. o.k.???
Well, I did not know I was going to be so serious on this thing. SHEESH!!! From title to subject who woulda thought??
I would like to congratulate Nancy O'Toole for getting a 100% on a Pathophysiology test. That is a big big deal. Know why?? It is a college exam, and I don't even know what the heck Pathophysiology means. I know more about coffee buffaloes than Pathophysiology. I am kinda an expert at coffee buffaloes though, so pretty much awesome in that regard. :)
I really don't have much today to be honest, but I guess I can just go and go and go. I'll spare you though. :)
You know none of us are perfect. I had a good day yesterday. I looked at leaves that were changing colors. Most of the leaves on the little tree were off, but the leaves were purple. Maroonish really. I liked it. :)
I saw a pretty red sunrise. The local lumberyard is good for sunrises. :) I saw 3 orange streaks across the blue sky before sunset. I cried about stuff. Lisa saw the tears in my eyes. I think people get a glimpse of my heart when I write stuff. They get a glimpse of pain, glimpse of joy, glimpse of humor. I think you can see my heart.
Why you get mad I don't know. That is kinda weird to me too. I know the purpose of this though. I know the fight you have with yourself. An internal battle. I have been through it. 1990 I think. You want to do good, and be good. You do, but there is always the other stuff huh? The stuff we don't want.
I guess that is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. running party tonight. Should be fun!!! :) I have run my last race.
now for really really cya cya cya!!! :)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Title Should Be The Name Of A Cereal
SHEESH!! I got nothing for a title. :)
Let me get some coffee. Oh and btw, this is just a winging it blog entry, because I pretty much have nothing on my mind.
You want to know something that irritates me?? When people ask me silly questions. Small talk questions that can be answered by reading my blog. I don't small talk. Keep that shit to yourself. How irritating. Really is it that hard to find something out about me?? SHEESH!! Oh, and obviously I am talking about people who know me, but obviously don't read me. Truth be told though, I think this is a hard blog to acknowledge is being read. That is weird to me too.
Maybe I have been doing this for so long. Remember the start?? The start was biking. The start was "The Outside Corner" The start was me blogging on myspace. Yep I did it back then. I didn't know that was the start. I knew the start was the start though pretty soon after I started reading the original 4. I knew something happened at the funeral. Dean's funeral, from Lisa's side of the family. I remember people were talking about who had jobs at the visitation, and I thought about the dead guy.
That was last summer. The music would take me many times at work, and at home. Boy I had some hard days. I don't think you people understand my hard days. My hard days are me being scared. Me thinking I am bad. My hard days are between me and God. Hard days are being persecuted in my own mind. It is a blessing. Do you remember what Beatitude that is?? Yes the hard days were for good. That is not a normal thing. All I have endured is for a reason.
SHEESH!! I just lost the rest of my entry. That sucks.
I will just write a few more things here. One thing I wanted to write about was the race. I am injured for my all important 5K, because that tells me what? anyone anyone?? This is not my race to run. This race will be run for me, because you see it is a gift. My work is done. I am along for the ride now, as all of you are too. Remember the Matrix zone. When he can do almost anything at will. That is where this thing is at. Nothing can touch us. The speed is anti-speed?? Gravity holds no power over this spiritual race. Kinda like the speed of light you know??
There is one more thing I need to do. I have a feeling you may know it won't be pleasant. I have been willing to do it since before the hospital of 1992. I did not know how to get there. I am being taken there. You are along for the ride to view something. What it is I know not. How this comes out I know not. You will see some crazy things.
Well well well. I guess I always have a lot on my mind. I can write all kinds of things I guess. I leave you there though... I guess. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. this came out a bit different than what got lost, but whatever. No biggie.
now for really really cya cya cya. :)
oh and gonna change my title from "Title" to something else. My title was originally 'Title" :)
Let me get some coffee. Oh and btw, this is just a winging it blog entry, because I pretty much have nothing on my mind.
You want to know something that irritates me?? When people ask me silly questions. Small talk questions that can be answered by reading my blog. I don't small talk. Keep that shit to yourself. How irritating. Really is it that hard to find something out about me?? SHEESH!! Oh, and obviously I am talking about people who know me, but obviously don't read me. Truth be told though, I think this is a hard blog to acknowledge is being read. That is weird to me too.
Maybe I have been doing this for so long. Remember the start?? The start was biking. The start was "The Outside Corner" The start was me blogging on myspace. Yep I did it back then. I didn't know that was the start. I knew the start was the start though pretty soon after I started reading the original 4. I knew something happened at the funeral. Dean's funeral, from Lisa's side of the family. I remember people were talking about who had jobs at the visitation, and I thought about the dead guy.
That was last summer. The music would take me many times at work, and at home. Boy I had some hard days. I don't think you people understand my hard days. My hard days are me being scared. Me thinking I am bad. My hard days are between me and God. Hard days are being persecuted in my own mind. It is a blessing. Do you remember what Beatitude that is?? Yes the hard days were for good. That is not a normal thing. All I have endured is for a reason.
SHEESH!! I just lost the rest of my entry. That sucks.
I will just write a few more things here. One thing I wanted to write about was the race. I am injured for my all important 5K, because that tells me what? anyone anyone?? This is not my race to run. This race will be run for me, because you see it is a gift. My work is done. I am along for the ride now, as all of you are too. Remember the Matrix zone. When he can do almost anything at will. That is where this thing is at. Nothing can touch us. The speed is anti-speed?? Gravity holds no power over this spiritual race. Kinda like the speed of light you know??
There is one more thing I need to do. I have a feeling you may know it won't be pleasant. I have been willing to do it since before the hospital of 1992. I did not know how to get there. I am being taken there. You are along for the ride to view something. What it is I know not. How this comes out I know not. You will see some crazy things.
Well well well. I guess I always have a lot on my mind. I can write all kinds of things I guess. I leave you there though... I guess. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. this came out a bit different than what got lost, but whatever. No biggie.
now for really really cya cya cya. :)
oh and gonna change my title from "Title" to something else. My title was originally 'Title" :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
