Welp, It's Monday.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. I think I had a pretty good weekend. I got some stuff done. I worked. We ate, and also there was sleep involved.  ;)

Nothing really too major. I watched another disc of season 2 GOT. I think that's about it. Something kinda weird though is yesterday I woke up hungry. I try and go to work at 5:00 AM on Sundays. I went to McDonalds before work. Last night we went out to dinner. I didn't even come close to finishing my meal, but I am not hungry this morning.  I find that strange. I should be hungry considering I didn't eat much last night.

Oh well, just thinking out loud. Other than that not much going on. I don't really have much to blog about.

So actually I don't think I will. I'll publish this though for no reason.  :)

Talk at cha later.  :)

BYEEEE. :)

Is Saturday the Start or End?

I don't know if Saturday is the start of my week or the end. It's been a relatively busy week for me. Lots of stuff to do after work. I was tired when i got home yesterday. It meant I didn't do a damn thing. I did collect all my papers for the house refi. So that's good. I never look at my pay stubs, and 2 of the 3 are on the Web. Tied up in passwords and usernames I always forget. So I had to jump through hoops to get a recent pay stub. Also I had to stop by my insurance company to get a copy of our home insurance. It's hard work collecting papers you never even think about.

Anyway it is done. Just gotta bring them into the lady on Wednesday. I am really not sure if today feels like the end of the week or start. I am well rested and recharged. It was a nice sleep in.

So what else. Not much. Yesterday was probably a doozy. There is a lot inside me you cannot see from the outside. I just look like a normal'ish person on the outside,  but it is different on the inside. You can see inside me when I do this.  How do we get to your inside?   For one thing it isn't so easy. When I went through the eye of the needle it cleaned me out.  I didn't know it at the time, but it removed much darkness. The proverbial log if you will so I could see now. I don't exactly know how things were the rest of my time til the start of this blog. I do know if I was ever scared I still was open,  and could be seen. It is where my courage came from I guess. I wasn't always without fear though. These days I pretty much am.

Anyhoo all this talk you cannot really know what I am talking about. What can be said is we don't really know you.  We explain ourselves with our deeds,  and we take pictures of our outsides. A blog like this takes a picture on the inside. The camera is the words.

What's it all mean?  

It means that is my blog today. I will probably see you Monday. Probably not tomorrow though.

Okay. Have fun.  :)

Just Plugging Along.

Good morning. How's it going?   I am fine. I had another day yesterday. I worked,  and did my errands. I had an eye test. I wanted to see if I need glasses, since I can't read shit without reading glasses on. Turns out my eyesight is perfect,  but I need reading glasses to read. Other than that I am 20/20 or better.

Got most of the paper work to the bank. Need a couple more things, and I'll do that today. It was good getting that done. We then made an easy dinner, relaxed a bit, and then I slept.

So really a day not unlike others. It is pretty nice feeling good about how your life is. My heart is good,  and my days are easy. We have some house projects we need to do. I have some books to read, and some movies to see. Plenty of stuff to keep me busy.

I guess the best thing I like about my life is I don't look over my shoulder. Should I have done this or that?  I have nothing like that at all. I am confident and content with me and my life. Not scared I made a wrong decision ever.

As to others I don't really know. I am not too concerned. I took the proper steps,  and I am on the right route. I know this. I am assured and confident.

You may think I am arrogant,  I don't know,  but I am right. It took a few decades to get where I am now,  and my story isn't even finished. 

Thinking like that is dangerous for people who aren't right. To never question yourself or beliefs is dangerous. I can't say I didn't question myself. I pictured myself as the thief. I saw my end. While most / all picture themselves as Saints I saw where I was headed. While others think about their great deeds, and rewards for their Sainthood,  I realized I was not the best a person can be, and that was out of my power.

People are out putting themselves on a pedestal, I humbly looked at me.

So I took the lesser route. It coincided by doing what I did I also took on a job. My first and most important job was to help myself. Find my way. I was then given a harder route on top of that. Go out in the wilderness and find my way, and also later on I would have to help others along.

So I've done what was asked of me. I just was a failure at helping others along. It wasn't my fault it was yours. So now we are in the wilderness again to see if there are any humble or meek ones out there.  If none are humble I don't worry. You'll go your own way, and I will let you go. I don't worry about losing people in the wilderness,  cuz I am confident and assured of my way.

I am right. It took me to look at the truth to find my way, and that is something few will do. Maybe none besides me. That's probably a possibility,  but that is not how the story is supposed to play out.

The ball is in your court, cuz I am the coach. I don't play the game anymore, cuz my labor is done. You can be like the team from Hoosiers,  but you picture yourself as being too great. Your eyesight is backward. You see things upside down.

It is the fate of the arrogant and wrong, aka every person born in this World less a turn.

Helpless to help them self.

Anyway.

That's all she wrote today.

Cya.   :)

A Busy Week.

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am good. It turns out this week is busy. First off I am watching the 2nd season of GOT. I am starting the 3rd book of GOT. I still have to watch the 3rd Underworld movie. I have my eye exam today to see if I need glasses or stick with readers. Also we turn in our paperwork to refinance our house. We will have to pay  $300 less per month when we do that. I was thinking we would be debt free after that, but we have the car payment of $100/month. Maybe I should just pay that off in the mortgage,  but we can pay it off quickly.

Our inflows which already looked good compared to our outflows gets even better. My little thing of work,  eat, sleep pays off in the long run. The key is to do it with a happy heart,  and that part isn't really in our control. It is something I guess I count on though. My walk the past few decades was not always easy. I've told you my struggles and battles the best I could,  but you can't know. I went in the wilderness after going through the eye of the needle. It is what made me different, and it is what you cannot know of me. My route is only known by one. A hidden path,  and it is impossible for you to walk in my shoes. What I wanted to say though is my days are easy.

Anyways that is that. A busy week, but in a good way. We still had time for a dinner last night. Steak fajitas. I still had time to sleep. Today too I'll still have time to work. See how that works?  :)

Anyway, I got nothing. I do know how I am, and how I feel. I know you cannot be like me,  so I know you lack something. You just aren't sure what. I know a human heart though. Always yearning. A content heart we were not born with. The difference between you and I is I know hearts can be changed. It's just not in our power. We think we can do a lot, but at the end of the day nothing could be further from the truth.

We were born lost, and it takes a lot to be found. Perfection is nowhere near if we are left to our own devises.

Anyway, I am going to finish my coffee. I plan on having a day too.

Okay cya.  :)

Have fun.  :)

This May Get Deleted

Good morning. How's it going?   I am doing pretty good. This week seems to be going better than last week. I was tired last week. I guess if I wake up thinking of what to do after work, that is a good sign.  My title cuz I don't really have much on my mind. I don't mind giving it a whirl though.

So anyway, yesterday was a day.  I got some stuff done after work. A couple errands. Picked up BOGO burritos,  and had a few beers it's not a bad way to do Monday. I don't really go out often, but it is fun.  I don't think I thought of anything particularly interesting.

I do realize I am pretty uninformed. I had to ask, "wait so we have a new President now right?"  I am pretty dumb. I wasn't even sure what all the protests were about. There were a lot of them,  and they seemed peaceful.

I guess my life still is the same. We were talking at the bar at how we used to pay attention to national politics,  but we stopped for the most part.  It just makes you mad. I don't pay attention, cuz why spend your life mad?  

Bad things may happen down the road in life,  and I am ready for anything. I pretty much expect bad things in the future, cuz maybe life with people isn't even sustainable. War, greed, anger hostility. Arrogance,  and my side is right. Your side is wrong. My religion is right yours is wrong.

I've learned that really all is wrong, because people aren't right. It's hard to question what we never did our whole life. People grow up expecting life to be a certain way. I realized in my path I found out life isn't a certain way. Life is one big lie. It took much for me to learn the truth, and it wasn't from me reading books, listening to the news, getting degrees. My summer in the wilderness was without social networking too. There was a time when that wasn't a thing. To be honest I didn't watch one bit of TV. I didn't drink any alcohol. I basically woke up and walked. I went to work. After work I would walk. I'd sleep for 4 hours,  get up and walk again. Day after day. I felt guilty in everything I did,  because I was scared. I was judged internally pretty much every second. I was wrong, but I needed to be right. I needed security too,  cuz it is hard being scared every second.

It ended with trial one. It wasn't fun. I still had to suffer some after too. That physical depression was brutal. One night the energy returned,  and I knew my labor was done for awhile.

It eventually started back up again. Overcame the 2nd time, and now my heart is right. I am not perfect,  but I am strong. I am open and can be seen. That has been my strength. Eventually I'll give that up too, but I'll have help. I don't think I'll be afraid,  because I know I'll have help. In the end I cannot do anything for myself. If I am to be saved it will be from the strength of the one who overcame. The little hidden secret. I have to walk in his shoes,  and then I get understanding. I will need a new wine skin to carry my new wine inside,  because who and what I am now will not be able. If I think of who I am now to what I will be it is pretty crazy. I am nothing compared to what I will be.

My job was to learn the Spiritual side of the message. It gets confused by all. Just something like the sword people didn't know. There is a lot. A coin etc...

I battle people really, because we,all are at one time tied to the World,  and it takes a lot to not be. We can't do it on our own either,  cuz hearts are tied to the World. You are not strong enough to overcome that.

That is part of our problem too. We are strong and can do great things is what we think, but really you need help. A lot, cuz all of us as we stand now cannot be the finished product. That would not be good. Me too. I am not scared though,  because I know my story. Overcome 3 times, and I am done. I've already done it twice, and it wasn't by my strength or wisdom. It is from my help, and now I trust even more, because that needed to be strengthened too.

Oh well. There is a lot to my story. Wouldn't you like to know yours?   It isn't what you think. Your choice to find your story. Your choice not to either. You have good info though. It is yours to use or not.

Anyway, I think I'll check the weather and take Hope.

Have a good one.  :)  sorry so long.  :)  not really sorry.  :)

So Much To Do.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am fine. Had a pretty good weekend. On Saturday I thought about seeing a movie after work. Actually in my mind I was thinking of all the things I could do after work. I was pretty open. I decided early on to just come home and clean. Dishes done,  refrigerator cleaned,  all the laundry done,  and folded. It felt pretty good to do that. It made my Sunday open. Lisa has Sunday off so it takes a lot off her. It was a good way to spend a Saturday.

Today I have a lot to do again. Check into getting an eye exam, eventually we have to go in and refinance our house. Rates are low, but we are lazy. I am almost done with the 2nd Game Of Thrones,  so I can start watching the 2nd season. I am on the 3rd Underworld movie. I saw the new one, so I figured I should see the other ones. They aren't bad movies at all,  and Kate Beckinsale, I mean seriously. If there is a prettier woman ever I've probably not seen her.

Also it's Monday so I can do BOGO burritos,  and maybe a beer or two. So many things. I still have to check the weather,  and take Hope too.

Weekend was just a weekend I guess. I did my own thing. I am not really tied to anyone or anything. Its a big World out there,  and I feel strong on my own. What people do doesn't really affect me I don't think.  I still have my blog. I still use it.

I feel the same way about stuff. My blog made a turn a bit ago. Went into the wilderness really. Took the turn to see the real value of life. The real value of our deeds. I know these things, but others have to learn it.

In this World there needs to be something magical huh??  Some major things happening. Great deeds are being done to make the World better. If you want to make the World better make you better. Better off make you perfect. That is the best thing to hope for right?? 

If it ain't leading to perfection it ain't doing anything. We will labor and sacrifice for all sorts of stuff. We'll say it's important too cuz we put effort into it.

There is a whole different route available. One that says World you mean nothing. I want perfect. Perfect is worth everything. The World is worth nothing. Your deeds mean nothing. A turn means everything.

It's a hard thing to teach people that,  but the truth is never far away.  People don't want the truth though. Probably because the truth says there is no magical thing going on in our lives, and we don't matter. This World ain't no great thing, and we will die. In the end we are here for no real reason.

I saw that way back when. I figured if there is some reason I am here let me do that. Turns out I guess there was a reason. Been a long trip. I've seen a lot,  and learned a lot. There was a short time when I was full that I thought this was easy. No problem at all. That is a couple decades past, and outside my two trials I still haven't done anything really. People are still the same.  Not any better.

Anyway. I gotta go.

Cya.

I Feel Back To Normal.

I have kinda been tired this week. I don't always know when I am tired,  but eventually I figure it out. I woke up early on Thursday,  wrote down some gibberish. Realized it was dumb so I deleted it, and took Hope for a walk. Falling asleep early each night I decided to sleep in yesterday. Today I feel great. I don't really know what makes a person tired, but I was this week. It is strange for me too,  cuz I probably sleep between 7-14 hours less than Lisa each week.  I really don't need a ton of sleep.

Other than that not much going on. I had a little knee issue happening so I haven't run in a bit. It is better now,  so I will run today. I'll just run for fun. My knee will not hold up to what I used to do in the past. The sidewalks were better this week, so I was able to bike to work a few times. I was driving quite a bit, which is strange. Put it this way, I am time wise due for an oil change, but only put on like 300 miles on my truck since the last one. I don't drive much.  :)

That is about it for me. I am going to get an eye exam in the next few days, and probably glasses. I wear reading glasses, but I am blind as Hell up close. I can still read signs far away when driving, but I pretty much can't see shit close to me.

That is the extent of my life right now.  I've been watching movies when I get home from work,  and cooking meals. Then falling asleep. Today starts a weekend. There will be work,  eat, and sleep. It's what I do.

Okay, have a good one.

Laterzzzzzz.  :)

I Should Check The Weather.

So far so good this Winter. A lot of mild days in a row. Typically you endure whatever weather you get, but I am all about easy winters.

Today has been a struggle just coming up with a title so I probably have nothing to write here. I may even publish it too, cuz I am an ass like that. Yesterday was pretty okay. Work went good. We had tacos. I cleaned whites, and watched two movies.

Today I start out with some coffee, and I pretty much know the direction my day will go. I'd tell you about it, but pretty sure you know already.

What else should I tell you. Doubt there is anything to tell. The information you got told you all about the coin. What it meant. My story I turned my one coin into 5+5. I had no clue what I was doing,  but my story plays out as it is supposed to. I am not the author,  so I walked into a lot of areas I did not know the outcome to.

Many have their coin now,  and I suspect some are afraid and bury it. Don't want to lose it. What does that mean?   Tied to jobs and careers maybe. Trust was once an important part of my blog,  but I am guessing as far as this goes all fail.

I came as a messenger, not a Saint, because in matters of Sainthood you and I are alike. We aren't. Many try to prove otherwise sometimes, and that's a dead end. Many try to show off their coin as being brighter, shinier, and more sparkly than others. In the wilderness all coins are the same. As a matter of fact I would say coins become worth less. Less copper in each coin,  or a copper silver mix.

So where do you shine?  Where are your great deeds?  We all are alike in the wilderness. Just these people with our lives.

It has to be hard too, cuz you want life to be something you shine at. In some way you are better and more special than others. Smarter. You did it right. You know life,  and you did it better than all.

Where is victory in the wilderness??  In my story there was no victory here. Eventually I got let out, but it wasn't without suffering. It wasn't without learning the brutal truth. Even if I had moments where I looked for value in myself, I knew it wasn't there.  I was open,  and I could see my inside. I was nowhere near the best a person can be. That is what I wanted, cuz I wanted security.

What does it mean?   The wilderness is brutal. It is filled with the shitty old truth. Ya gotta see the bad I guess, cuz it will help you understand the good. Currently the good is far away,  so brace yourself. This isn't going to be easy,  and none of us will shine.

Okee doke.

Have a good one. 

A Winter Rain.

Rain typically = no snow,  but you surely don't want that shit turning to ice. Looks like we lucked out. It rained yesterday, and will finish up sometime this morning. Temps stay well above freezing though so no ice. As a matter of fact we'll be close to 50° or over for one or two days. In January. In Michigan. Typically you feel you are winning if you are in the mid 30s.

That was my main concern yesterday. Rain and temps. Besides that yesterday was a pretty normal day. I slept in, cuz I watched football. I worked, and did dinner.

Other than that not much on my mind. I did think of one thing last night. I woke up after a couple hours of sleep. Found out my sense of humor is not for everyone. Lesson learned for the 9,000,000,000th time.

I did think why do I do this here?  Not really sure. More and more I have nothing to write. I still publish my nothingness just cuz I am annoying like that, and then go on with my day.  Is there something I am trying to accomplish? 

Not really. Since we are in the wilderness there isn't anything to accomplish. I won't impress you with the nothing I achieve, and it goes the opposite way too.  You will not impress me.

I may seem strange, because we are in this weird place the wilderness,  and I am totally fine with it. My days won't change, and I expect me to be the same day after day.

That puts us in different positions, cuz I know all about the wilderness. I will spend no time looking for value where there is none. I'll live out my day to day. You however have never been here. You'll continue looking for value in any number of avenues, and you'll find the truth eventually. I suspect that will put more of a disconnect between me and other people. I'll continue my day to day putting no value in other people's endeavors,  cuz I've been here, and I know the pointless meaning of all labors and sacrifices.

On your way to make you a perfect person you will fail. Your heart will never measure up to how you want to feel, and how you want to be.

With a big disconnect I won't care probably. I'll just continue doing what I do. Making you hate me more than you already do too, is my guess.

Kinda funny huh??    :)

Such strangeness really.

Okay. I got a day I have to start. I guess I'll take the monster since I got time.

Have a good one.  :)

When A Plan Works.

Hello,  and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. We had the holiday party at the bakery last night. Free pizza,  and drinks. Lisa won a gift. It was fun, and I still got what I wanted. A good night sleep. I am up early too so I can get into work at my desired time. 5:00 AM. My plan worked,  and that will start off a pretty good Sunday for me.

I worked a little longer than scheduled at the grocery store. There was a lot to do. I would have done more too,  but sometimes they worry about hours. So I guess a good day.

Not really too much else. I am probably going to send Lisa to Hawaii for one last hurrah. Her brother is moving back to the mitten, and selling his house. She likes vacations like that. I've been there 5 times, and seen it all. I feel I am on vacation just doing my routine. This is easy for me.

I am having a coffee,  and debating whether to get a McDonald's breakfast.  :)

A day came, and a day went. Today will be very similar in that regard. Today at work I am doing a different project outside my normal thing. That should be fun too. I got good simple meals planned for the week, and we'll see that Ben Afleck movie today.

As you can see there isn't a lot on my mind. Some people are still angry about politics and whatnot. Get over it really. Only one life, do you want to be angry through it all?? 

Politics will always be here. Each side will always be getting the shaft. The World's currency is probably on a crash course. Who cares?  We will all die eventually, and you'll find at the end you worried about a bunch of shit for no reason,  cuz you'll soon be dead.

Somedays I feel I am just banging my head against the wall.

Whatever.  Today I get a day. Work, eat, sleep,  with a movie.

Fun fun.

Later. 

Hope you enjoyed reading it.  I set my mental alarm to be able to write it.

Later.  :)

A Bottle Of Red, and A Bottle of White.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. Yesterday was strange, cuz I slept after my early alarm went off. It isn't uncommon,  a lot of times I'll stay in bed for a half hour give or take. Yesterday I stayed in bed for what seemed like 15 minutes. All of a sudden my late alarm went off. That is close to 2 hours.  I must have been tired. It was strange.

Today was my sleep in day, so that is what I did. Yesterday was your typical day. Work, eat, sleep. I stopped after work,  and had a couple beers. I then made dinner.

Life for me is pretty simple. I don't really have a care in the World. You do what's expected of you during the day,  relax a bit, eat a meal, and sleep. Day after day this happens. I am cool with it too.

I don't know what other people do, and who really cares right? 

You know what??  I got nothing. Instead of deleting this nonsense,  I am going to make you read it.  :)

My new hobby. 

Later.   :)

Back To The Old Drawing Board.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am okay. I am up early so I thought maybe I'd give this a whirl. There isn't much on my mind, but that is usually the case. There just is what's inside me, and this is who I am.

Yesterday was a pretty normal day. I did see a movie after work,  so today I will have to do some cleaning. Our kitchen is trashed. I have to check outside to see about transportation. It rained last night, and it is probably below freezing now. Not sure if I want to bike if I'll be falling on my ass every 10 seconds. That's pretty much it for me.

As for yesterday's blog I know some things about me, my story,  and life. I don't worry about it though,  cuz I am in good hands. I know the things that are possible,  and I know my way. I am secure and assured.

As to other people I don't really know them too well. Lives go on. People continue to do what people do, and I'm not really sure what that is. I don't know if life is a grind for some. I suspect it is, cuz hearts are kinda that way.

If you had a hope about life you would always wanna be happy. You would like little stress. You'd want every day to be fun. People typically are different from one day to the next. Good mood,  bad mood,  not feeling it somedays. Maybe someday you want to do nothing. I don't know. Life is pretty busy, and I suspect sometimes people don't want to be.

As life goes on I think it is hard for all ages. Older people are too tied up in life. More entangled and enslaved. You'll find at the end of the day there wasn't anything to accomplish. You have one end, and at that point no one cares about trophies or certificates.

Younger people are kinda screwed too, because they are entangled in life too, but there are all the things to accomplish in the World. That is how the human heart operates.

In life we are supposed to ask questions,  but people typically just look to society and get no farther. The answers go deeper than political BS.

People are tied down and enslaved though. The answer to life is a maze out of your ability to know the way through. In the end we all are pretty dumb to the truth. You have papers of accreditations and diplomas that suggest you are smart.  :)

Life is a pretty tough thing. It is a pretty dangerous thing to be born here. As it is written probably better if you weren't,  but nothing you can do about that now.

I would try to look into the mirror inside you. Is this the best a person can be?   If not how would you change that?  

You'll find on our own it is impossible,  but with help all is possible. All journeys start with a single step,  but that step isn't really easy. When I took my step I had to follow it up with obedience. I still had to overcome myself, and that wasn't even one of the 3 times my story is all about.

I did get a promise though after overcoming myself. I was told I'd be rescued out of every entanglement. It is how I beat the judges twice so far. With a wisdom and strength that wasn't mine.

Anyhoo.  I guess life goes on. For me too. Today I will work,  clean,  eat, and sleep. My story is basically done. I just wait for my final thing, and you know I guess my story is all about waiting. I knew the final thing I must do before I overcame the first time. That's been quite a while. I think the stories play out like that anyway.

I did receive a blessing right before #1. At that point it didn't mean much, cuz I was too afraid. I held it close during the dead years,  and it really took hold after #2. I suspect in currency not of this World I am a wealthy person. That is the rich man parable huh?? 

You can tell the False teachers cuz they ask for the wrong currency. Tithing in the Spiritual writing asks for other currency.

That is where my brother Jim came in. 1/10th. The sword is spiritual,  and also a trap. Many false teachers run around aimlessly in that area. In my story the sword still plays out, but I don't know the maze,  so the steps aren't directed by me.

Meanwhile you do whatever that is.

Okay cya.   :)

Singing In The Rain.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am okay. I am up early, but have nothing to blog about as usual. It doesn't always stop me though.

One thing I thought of is if you read this you see what is inside of me. Inside me is the truth of life. Inside me is the wilderness,  and inside me is a sword.

I pretty much write the same type of stuff,  cuz that is what it is like to look inside me. I've done this a while. I can't give a History of this thing cuz we are approaching 1800 entries,  and I don't reread any of them. I used to every once in a while, but I care less and less.

There isn't much to me anymore besides what you see inside. The wilderness and the sword. I live out my days pretty care free, cuz that is my gift for my labor to date.

I am done except for the suffering so to speak. After I become the best a person can be. I'll have understanding, and that is the end days.

There is no future in this life. There never was. It all ends in death. It always has. Cave men didn't do less important stuff than you. They pretty much work,  ate, and slept. Their work was getting food most likely,  but people do make advances. Advances always "seem" like advances, but they aren't always,  and maybe in the grand scheme they aren't anyway. We still are headed for our grave, and it don't matter what we dress up as.

Anyhoo,  I know my story,  and we don't know your story. You tried to create one based on stuff you see inside the World. My story pretty much started when I saw there was nothing here for me.

Life pulled, I listened. There was so much else though. I threw everything away. Upbringing and learning. It wasn't hard, cuz in life you learn a lot of shit, and you accept a lot of stuff just cuz.

In this World you think wrongly there are Saints. They aren't here. We are not them. We can be made into one, but your sacrifices and labors won't bring you there.

When the truth came knocking on your door you would have none of it. You had too many other things to do.

Still you head to your grave. Even if you still have all these things to do.

Told you inside me is not really a joke. I have a happy heart though although my message may be tough. Why??  It's my gift. My labor is what is in my heart,  and my heart was placed in good hands long ago. Pretty much the night after I gave up.

My job is way too much for me to handle on my own,  and I sense there is very little to me anymore anyway.

Just this day to day.

Okee dokee.

Cya.

Tales From The Darkside.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   I am doing okay. I haven't blogged in a couple days cuz I stayed up late on Saturday, and still wanted to get to work at 6:00 AM. Decided to sleep in yesterday too.

I am up today though,  and don't really have much to say. Yesterday was pretty okay as far as days go. It was a pretty easy day I guess, and I like those. Maybe all my days are easy.

I suspect that to be the case actually. Today I plan on having another easy day. Lisa is having some friends over so Hope and I will be sent to our room. She is having a dinner party.

My gosh for not blogging for two days I sure got nothing to blog about.

I am assured and confident. I am not perfect cuz in my current form that is impossible. In that regard you and I are alike. Perfect isn't impossible,  but it does take steps. The first one I realize few want to take. I did want to take it cuz I wanted a purpose. A purpose in a World where there didn't seem to be any.

Many may know their dilemma so they seek out a good path. The best their minds can think up. I've seen that all before. Stay off FB, do this and do that.

It seems there is an avenue for a better us if we just put forth effort. There is a lot between you and I that make us different. Being perfect isn't one of them. Me knowing a lot if not all of the human struggle is one. I know the weakness and pitiful existence of the human.

In our mind we try and grab the best things we can think of to make us feel more enlightened.

Anyway, on we go. Getting after your story,  but still nowhere near it. The darkness inside you blocks it. You need the light to clear the darkness, but that still takes a step.  

I've said that all before though.  Today I blogged cuz it's what I do. I didn't really say anything new. I rarely do I don't think.

Okee dokee

I'll see you later.   :)

My Sleep In Day.

Good morning. How's it going?   I am fine. It was my sleep in day, and that is what I did. Til 6:30. Yesterday was a pretty okay day. Work was fine, I saw the Underworld movie. It was really good. Maybe cuz I had low expectations going in, but it was entertaining. I finished up the first 3 Star Wars movies too. Had dinner and went to bed. Slept in too. I work for a bit, and have a Christmas party for my Sunday job. Time goes on, cuz I bet I've been with this company for 4 years at least. I've done all kindsa stuff there.

Anyhooo, that is about it. I'll probably watch football in between. There isn't much in a day. Just a little time. I like how my days play out typically. The little one can get out of life I get. Just be content I guess, and I am.

The only problem with me is we are in the wilderness, so there is nothing significant to show. We just live out our years. People probably want to matter in some way, but that is one of those tough things. Do we really?  

I found out my answer in the wilderness. Life was going on for people. Cookouts were being had. July 4th parties were happening.  I saw the World dressed up, but I also saw me, my life,  and what it all meant. In the wilderness there is no value. I don't give a fuck what you do. It doesn't matter.

You still are this person who wants to have value,  but that route is so much different than you think. This way is hidden though. It isn't yours to learn. It's not yours to take. It is a gift to the humble,  and an impossibility for those who aren't.

It is a hard route, because you lack what you really want. Control. You want to have your say I guess. It is a path of obedience too. I know that all too well. I would not have made it this far without it.

Anyway, life goes on. Day after day for me. Today will be another one.

Cya.  :)

What Are The Chances??

Good morning. How's it going?  I am fine, but my phone played a trick on me. I shut it down yesterday when I went to a movie. I got home,  and it acted weird for a bit, but was seemingly fine. The time was 2 hours off though. I was wondering why I felt so tired to sleep til 4:45 AM. Whatever, I got up, and got dressed. I am ready for work now,  but it is only 3:35 AM. I'm a little early.  Guess Hope and I will be shoveling, not that she is much help.

Other than that not much going on. I rented the first 3 Star Wars movies. It's been several years since I've seen them. Ya kinda have to go back and see a new hope after rogue one though. The difference in technology after 40 years is pretty crazy. The story makes sense though.

Today will be much of the same. Work,  and movie watching. I may go see that new Underworld movie. Not that I've seen any of the other ones,  but Kate Beckinsale is probably #1 on my list of hot actresses. She even beats Uma. Maybe the movie will be good too.  I don't care about that though.   ;)

I don't really have any plans for dinner. I am just kinda winging it here in the Wild West. What else???

Not much. There isn't much on my mind, and I didn't think of anything this morning. I think I'll nap for a bit.

Normally I'd delete something like this, but I think I'll make you read it.  :)

Hahaha.  Funny funny.

Later.   :)

Up Early, But Nuthin On My Mind.

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am okay. I got out of work early again, and was able to see Rogue One finally. I thought it was good. I wanted to come home and watch the first one again, and we only have it on VHS. How does that happen?  Maybe I'll rent them today.

I was just sitting in bed, and decided to get up early, cuz I am done sleeping. Typically I think of stuff when I am up early,  and I was thinking of nothing.  :)  it made me think this here will be pretty much about nothing. I also decided to get up to get another run in. It is cold outside. I could also bike to work,  but I am going to wuss out. It typically is fine on the way to work,  but after a full day biking home isn't all that fun when it is like 15° 

I may see another movie anyway after work. So there you have today's plan. Run, work, movie maybe, rent movies,  and dinner. Then sleep. That's pretty much how I like my days. I'll try to do dishes before work too. They do get away from us once in a while. Coming home and being lazy is not too shabby.  :) coming home, putting on a hoodie,  and pajamas is what January is all about.

So this year is starting out a bit different. Not really significant,  but I guess I am back in my routine. It is pretty simple. I like that too. As to how this year will look I have no idea. I can't see how days in the future will look just like anyone else. I did know some stuff of my story. Overcome 3 times. I always knew what the 3rd time was. I didn't know what number I stood at until I overcame the 2nd time. Then I knew. Remember I was 2/3 of the way done. Later on in a dream I finished the race. I won the race of life. I hit the tape as only one can. I then went where no one else can.

I remember that dream. I should have been happy,  but I was alone,  and I wasn't supposed to be. That was a long time ago. I thought #3 was real close, but this is going on years.

That kinda shows how blind we are huh??  I knew my story,  but I did not know how the days would look. Blogs??  This wasn't in my plan. Those 6 days long ago where I had the worst of the worst in me. Not my plan. After that I was fully clothed for a bit. (Full in spirit)  I thought I was the best I could be for a short while.

Later on I was made to be poor in Spirit. That is terrifying by the way, cuz you have no security. I was then led out into the wilderness to suffer much. Life was going on for all people, and I was in the wilderness learning the truth of life,  and me. Holidays and weekends were going on, and I was being judged, and I had no security.

I've told that story. It ended up me being in the hospital. A broken person. A year of physical depression  (no energy)  The energy returned, and I knew I was kinda free. I could not take me any closer to what I eventually would have to do. Those were the dead years. I don't know how many  years that went on. Probably between 15 and 20. Things started up with blog #1. Then the journey,  and me overcoming the 2nd time.

Now we kinda are back in the wilderness. I still am poor in spirit,  but I am secure. My job is to do #3, but I am powerless to take me there. So this is your time, cuz I got nothing to accomplish. There are no points I know of outside of my 3rd trial.

What that means for you maybe we'll find out this year. Holidays and weekends will still come around. Social networking will probably make you gag through them.  Maybe it will only be me gagging.  I don't know.  :)

My story to date is well known by me. If you think about it through blogging I "met" a lot of people. I know some of their lives. I guess the plan was to get to know people better. My guess is without a turn that Avenue is closed.

The story suggests we should grab a few who may be willing. The numbers were never good if one looked at the sword,  but hearts cannot worry about that either, cuz yours is of this World.

Anyhoo.  That was long.

Sorry not sorry.  Don't care.  Naaa. Naaa.   :)

Later.  :)

Here Comes The Cold, and Maybe Snow

Good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am good. Yesterday was a pretty normal day. I switched sides of the table at work. So I get to learn new stuff, which should be fun. More mixing now,  and I learn this stuff starting in January, so we should be slow for a couple months. The bakery gets another guy trained in mixing too,  which they will need when they expand later this year.

It really was slow at work so I left early. Early enough to get rained on all the way home.  :)  the small window of rain we had. We have a cold front coming for the next 5 days. Also I was really tired last night.  I couldn't keep my eyes open. After tacos,  I was out. My days typically end a little different than when I first wake up. Usually I am ready to tackle all the things when I wake up, and usually I get tired by the end of the day.

So there,  that is my exciting life. Gosh,  I don't know own if I have much else.  :)

I am going to take Hope in a bit,  and I am driving to work today. I have a simple dinner planned too.

Life is kinda trippy when you realize the truth of us. The wilderness is a strange place. In the wilderness if you look to the pieces of you that are important you'll find there is no path. Nothing leads anywhere. In life we all kinda looked for meaning somewhere. Do this,  and do that. This vessel we were born in is hard.  It never is really quite good enough. We put effort here, make sacrifices there,  seek for meaning on this path and that path.

Deep down life never is really fun enough. Deep down we really don't give a fuck enough. Our hearts don't always want to do what our mind thinks we should do. No matter what people are a product of their society,  upbringing,  and less than perfect information we picked up along the way.

In life balance is a good thing one would suspect,  but the scales are past our understanding. We can't attain to that knowledge.

In life we are human, so everyone says all is okay. Is it though?   It's one question we never asked,  and our hearts never really concerned ourselves with. It takes life,  and pretty good vision for us to question whether we really are all that.

I did go that extra mile. There was a type of person I wanted to be, and I fell short. Decades ago I found the answer, and it is a waiting game.  My insides will be reaped so to speak when the time is right. Obviously I can't know these things, cuz I cannot walk by sight.  Too many things I cannot see.  Too many things I cannot know.

Anyway, I guess that's good.

Cya.  :)

What I See.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am good. Yesterday was pretty okay, except I stayed up late to watch the end of the Rose Bowl. I would have slept in, but I am done sleeping so.

Anyway I was thinking of some things before getting up. One thing is who I am now compared to who I will be. It will be quite a transformation,  but that change is totally blocked. I can't make that happen in the slightest. Timing is not up to me, and that trial is not of my creation. I have to endure things, and I cannot make that happen in the slightest.

I guess what you can say is I know my story,  and I know me. I am not the author of my path, and I am not the manipulator of those events.

People seek out a redeeming quality they possess,  and the truth of the matter is we don't possess it. That one thing that makes us special is non existent.

That part of our story is hard to accept. I know way back when I tried to make me the best a person can be. It was out of my power. I couldn't do it.

Eventually I learned a lot of stuff. This here is where you and I differ. I know the path that turns me into the best a person can be. It isn't from my power, strength,  wisdom,  work ethic. As a matter of fact you can say it has absolutely nothing to do with me. It is the path I was willing to take. It was more important than anything.

I was able to take off Saint's clothing,  cuz I was not worthy to wear them. I found my way though. I found that which means everything.

Totally worth more than gold or silver,  but that too is a human weakness. Security lies in money for people,  but security is something else.

I can't really speak to you about these things though, because you and I differ. You cannot know how I am in the slightest,  and I know about all human weakness.

From where I stand, and where you stand are miles apart. I can't bridge the gap for you.

Eventually you kinda gotta wonder why you are powerless to make you the best a person can be.

It is our weakness that leads us on the right path. Your strength and greatness will not help you, cuz that is tied up in Worldly rewards.

The truth of life is everything is wrong.  The truth of us is we are weak. Saints we are not.

The truth breaks you down,  while the World falsely tries to lift you up. The path is hard before it gets better.

I labor in vain though,  cuz you chose the World. How did that go for you?

Okee Dokee. That is my entry for today.

I have no goals for this blog this year. What once typically ended around 300 posts per year has dropped to the 220-30 range. I don't know what this year will be.

I think I am done too with what may have been the ending of most my blogs.  It's dumb.

Later.    :)

Two Fer

Good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing okay. It is Jan 2nd, and I am blogging for the second time this year. It is like I am two fer  two.

Yesterday was actually a pretty good day. I got a lot done. New entry knob on our front door. New kitchen faucet in. Laundry done. Light bulbs replaced in the kitchen. Can lights,  so actually a bit of a pain cuz the trim pieces are assholes. I did laundry,  and fixed our pantry door. I finished all that before 1:00 PM.

I then watched the Bears get clobbered. In my view McPhee, Jeffrie,  Cutler are gone. A waste of money. Time to get people who want to play football, and be good.

That was about the extent of my day. Today we are back at it. Work, eat, sleep. It should be a pretty good day.

You??  Who knows?  As time goes on, I am kinda in it for me. You may wonder why life doesn't seem to be all its cracked up to be. Wanna know the reason?   Cuz it isn't. It doesn't matter what avenue you choose it just isn't going to be.  Nothing you can do about it.

For one thing you don't wake up every day feeling the same way. If you still find consistency that is your sacrifice that means absolutely nothing. Our lives don't mean one damn thing. You are not the only person who has done this, and you won't be the only person to die. Your sacrifices give you no points.

Everybody in their own mind has themselves sitting on top some pinnacle. You are pretty damn good in your own mind. The question is why aren't you better?  Why can't you make you better? 

I know the answer, cuz I tried. My path led me to learn my weakness.  My less than perfection. I came to terms with it, because I know how I will become perfect.  I also know I am accepted already before that happens.

You??  Lost. I can't help you be on better ground either. Your pinnacle has to be destroyed,  but it is your security blanket.  Why??  You are afraid of the truth.  I can't help you have courage. It is such a little part in your story,  and you cannot make that one little step. 

So I guess you'll keep up the act. People will give you acceptance, but life still will be missing something.  You cannot overcome that,  cuz the truth sets you free. You are nowhere near that. 

Cya. 

Maybe tomorrow will be #3.  You never know. 

Well, Well, Well.

Good morning all. As is typical I did not stay up til midnight. I did wake up at 3:00 AM, and fell back asleep til 7:00 AM. That was pretty sweet.

Now I am up. I don't really have anything to blog about,  but that is fine. 2016 is over, and I don't remember anything too significant that happened. 2017 begins, and I have no resolutions. I have no plans to be better at any one thing. Just more of the same.

If I feel any different, I feel more distant. Less bugs me. I care less. Other people's lives I may be less interested. I guess that is the wilderness.

A look all around,  and finding nothing terribly important.  There are no Saints around, just people. I figure most/all people think they stack up pretty good. I know all people fall short. It is something people must deal with, but as far as I can tell none do. It seems they hold onto good enough or something.

Maybe people will work harder at something, but the most important stuff you are powerless to improve.

If I were to guess I'd imagine people will start to get to know themselves better. There is something that has to happen to start in a new way, and I wait for it. Until that most is just wasting time really.

So we start a New Year like I said.

Now I am going to make coffee. Today will be another day.  :)

Have a good one. Hope no one is hung over. Sometimes those New Years can do that. 

Til next time. 

Peace out.   :)