Good Morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing okay. I am different this year, and so is this blog. I don't know all the reasons, but I guess in my mind I don't want to play second fiddle. I am confident in me, and I am confident in the directions I have taken. My life and my journey, and all my struggles, but really my help have made me strong, confident, and assured of my direction. I am self assured in who I am. I am honest with how I am, and how I was.
I am not afraid of my past. I am not ashamed. My past isn't perfect, but All about me is known. I live in the light, and I don't hide the "ugly" stuff of my past, because there is only one whose judgement matters, and I have passed out of judgement. How?? Oh my my, so many hidden things, and I have gone on and on.
Anyhoodle, I remembered the other night about a sexual experience I had when I was 22. A lonely wife who I worked with put the moves on me at a party at my house. Who knew?? She was probably 35. Her husband was a big body builder type, and obviously didn't pay attention to his wife. So we hooked up for a night. The next day I started dating Katrina.
That 35 year old woman can be someone in your life. Whether it be you, or your significant other. That memory tells me a lot about life. So anyway yesterday I was thinking a lot of my College exploits. I was rebelling against the World, and I was kinda a man whore. I forgot about that kinda. My memories are of the important girls of the time like Katrina, and Natalie, and Cathrine Enger, my pen pal from Norway. I forgot about all my other little things.
Like I said though, I am not afraid or ashamed of anything of my past. It is all seen, and all known, and I think that is totally normal. I do however think I am probably different than most people in this. Are you afraid of your past?? Are you afraid to show it?? Are you afraid of being judged for the imperfections of your past??
I am not. I have passed through the important parts of life. It is a long story/Journey. It took many years. The only problem is I know the truth. I know a lot of secrets about life, and possibilities, and that makes me know most spend a lot of their time in fruitless endeavors.
There is a right way, and a right path. It has nothing to do with your "perfect" past, but everything to do with our shortcomings. Our imperfections, and the end of the road is acceptance.
My journey has to go another step. I have hit the alligator on the head twice, but the vision was for 3 times and then Katrina and I can hug. She was one of the original 5 in the Hospital. Katrina, Jim, Darren, Hal, and Lora.
That is my starting 5. I then later had another 5. It is the parable of the coins. Now I make more.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. It is good to be me, I do have to say, because I have already done the hard stuff.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
I Stayed Up To Watch Hockey Again... :P
Good Morning All. How's it going?? Me, I will probably be tired today, because as the title suggests, I stayed up to watch Hockey again.
The Hawks won, it was a good game, and we move on. Anything important happen in my life yesterday?? Nope, just another day in the life.
A common theme this year, is I am interested in less and less things I think. I don't know what to make of it. I guess I will go on and do my thing, and well that is the thing. I am not the one who has to do stuff.
People need to step up, and as I am now you really have to show the good stuff. The real stuff, and the life stuff, because I can help with only very so little, but if you give me nothing, then what can I say?? This blog has run its course maybe.
I don't know people's issues at all. I don't know what they may be afraid of. I have a feeling ths stuff that needs to be done is tough stuff, but that is where trust comes in I guess. The journey is a humbling one, because well we are who we are.
I wouldn't worry about me adding, because that isn't happening right now. I would worry about having the courage to step up. You are a solo creature, and you do not answer to the dictates of Society. Marriage and things like that mean nothing in the picture you should be looking at.
The picture is of you, and your life, and how really do you think you are as a person??
I know, people really are not all that. Especially the arrogant, and selfish ones.
bye.
The Hawks won, it was a good game, and we move on. Anything important happen in my life yesterday?? Nope, just another day in the life.
A common theme this year, is I am interested in less and less things I think. I don't know what to make of it. I guess I will go on and do my thing, and well that is the thing. I am not the one who has to do stuff.
People need to step up, and as I am now you really have to show the good stuff. The real stuff, and the life stuff, because I can help with only very so little, but if you give me nothing, then what can I say?? This blog has run its course maybe.
I don't know people's issues at all. I don't know what they may be afraid of. I have a feeling ths stuff that needs to be done is tough stuff, but that is where trust comes in I guess. The journey is a humbling one, because well we are who we are.
I wouldn't worry about me adding, because that isn't happening right now. I would worry about having the courage to step up. You are a solo creature, and you do not answer to the dictates of Society. Marriage and things like that mean nothing in the picture you should be looking at.
The picture is of you, and your life, and how really do you think you are as a person??
I know, people really are not all that. Especially the arrogant, and selfish ones.
bye.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Well I Am Up...
Good Morning. I am up, it is early, and it was one of those mornings where I woke up hoping it was 12:xx something. It was like 2:15. I was tired, but wide awake by 2:45. That really is a big big gift I have. When I am awake feeling the way I do. I don't need coffee to feel like this, although I did make a cup, so I guess I will get one.
BRB...
Do you ever think of the things we take for granted?? Just say this blog here. This thing will go on and on, and be around forever etc... Perhaps. You look for perfection though and you will not find it. You look for the Saints and they are not here. You look for answers, and yeah, they are here. How??
It is a crazy story. One no one can believe, but at least I didn't live in the belly of the whale for 3 days. This blog is real, and active, and it goes on. It also is a trap of sorts I guess, because if you read it you read it. There is no "pretending" you don't. What you see and what you know is known. The eyes see inside your heart. EVERYTHING.
I would think that should make you a bit uncomfortable, because I know what was in my heart way back during the dark years. When I was living in the dark.
There is not one thing in this World or Society you can hang your hat on and say, "well at least I have this". Why?? You are to trust only one. One you never met, and one you have never seen. Life is pretty fluid, and you make choices, but you will learn through your stuff, and be taught through your stuff.
You are not a Saint. You are an imperfect person with imperfect thoughts. I have been telling you to be real about that Shit, because it is the truth that will set you free, not some fabulousness you concoct in your own mind.
Seek out all that is real and true, and if there is a picture of yourself you want to portray, you can pretty much say that is total Bullshit.
I know people, and I know life, and I know how life works. You cannot fool me. I have been through it all really.
The honest ones I like, and the fabulous showers can basically go FUCK off in my book. :)
cya.
BRB...
Do you ever think of the things we take for granted?? Just say this blog here. This thing will go on and on, and be around forever etc... Perhaps. You look for perfection though and you will not find it. You look for the Saints and they are not here. You look for answers, and yeah, they are here. How??
It is a crazy story. One no one can believe, but at least I didn't live in the belly of the whale for 3 days. This blog is real, and active, and it goes on. It also is a trap of sorts I guess, because if you read it you read it. There is no "pretending" you don't. What you see and what you know is known. The eyes see inside your heart. EVERYTHING.
I would think that should make you a bit uncomfortable, because I know what was in my heart way back during the dark years. When I was living in the dark.
There is not one thing in this World or Society you can hang your hat on and say, "well at least I have this". Why?? You are to trust only one. One you never met, and one you have never seen. Life is pretty fluid, and you make choices, but you will learn through your stuff, and be taught through your stuff.
You are not a Saint. You are an imperfect person with imperfect thoughts. I have been telling you to be real about that Shit, because it is the truth that will set you free, not some fabulousness you concoct in your own mind.
Seek out all that is real and true, and if there is a picture of yourself you want to portray, you can pretty much say that is total Bullshit.
I know people, and I know life, and I know how life works. You cannot fool me. I have been through it all really.
The honest ones I like, and the fabulous showers can basically go FUCK off in my book. :)
cya.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Nightime Musings...
Good Morning. I had another one of those nights where I was up early thinking about things. Things I know, that are probably better left to myself. I was going to put it in my blog too, but luckily I got tired... I mean really tired at about the time I was going to get up, so I will not. I will keep it to myself.
Anyway, anything going on?? Nope not really. I feel I am turning away on this thing. Take a look at yourself. I mean really. What makes you special??? Not much huh?? Yeah, that is what I see too.
There is a direction and a way to go. It is a way of unfabulousness. I mean let's face it right?? Do you see what I see??
I am turning away, because this thing doesn't really work, and I don't really want to play, because life is too fucking serious, and you haven't been taking it that way. There is an avenue, and even I have my limits.
Oh well it is Monday. My position I don't have to work Holidays, but I choose to for at least I dunno, maybe 4-6 hours. I get paid for 8 anyway.
Later.
Anyway, anything going on?? Nope not really. I feel I am turning away on this thing. Take a look at yourself. I mean really. What makes you special??? Not much huh?? Yeah, that is what I see too.
There is a direction and a way to go. It is a way of unfabulousness. I mean let's face it right?? Do you see what I see??
I am turning away, because this thing doesn't really work, and I don't really want to play, because life is too fucking serious, and you haven't been taking it that way. There is an avenue, and even I have my limits.
Oh well it is Monday. My position I don't have to work Holidays, but I choose to for at least I dunno, maybe 4-6 hours. I get paid for 8 anyway.
Later.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
OMG I Am Like The Most Boring Person In The World.
Good Morning all. How's it going?? I just was looking at me kinda from the outside, and I realize I am like the most boring person in the World. I don't do anything people would call fun, because I am bored with all the "fun" things one can do. I don't like going out to the bars, as a night thing. I like going to lunch and having a drink or two. Actually those are probably the only times I drink beer. With lunch or dinner. (I either drink wine or Brandy mostly)
I don't hang out with anyone, because you know... as you get older people's lives get busier, and all that busy stuff is boring to me. Life really is a pretty stupid and boring thing. I wake up early today, and the first thing on my mind is there is a lot of shit to do at work. I am going to work for a few hours. I have to cut the grass. Lisa needs some help with something or other outside too. I think some plants need to be planted too.
So if I was an outsider looking at my life what do I think of it?? I think it is dumb. Really this thing we do is just a waste of time. Is there really a purpose to any of it?? Well I am not a Jew living in Germany in say 1942, so that is good.
I look around and know and understand most of the Shit in this World is pointless.
Even this blog is too. Sometimes I just hate the damn thing, and I am kinda getting tired of reading blogs too. My life is boring enough you know. Why do I need to read more about this stupid shit. Maybe the best thing about my blog is it has always let you in on more than stupid day to day Bullshit. Maybe it has always been really fucking boring. How the Hell would I know?
It really in my mind is becoming one of the shittiest things to do... reading this that is. I wouldn't. It is a big fucking waste of time like the rest of the Shit I do.
Ain't that life in a nutshell. Stupid fucking thing.
We don't open til 7:00. I have two hours. I guess today is a cup of coffee day.
Laterzzzzzzzzzzz folks. Keep on pretending you matter. :)
I don't hang out with anyone, because you know... as you get older people's lives get busier, and all that busy stuff is boring to me. Life really is a pretty stupid and boring thing. I wake up early today, and the first thing on my mind is there is a lot of shit to do at work. I am going to work for a few hours. I have to cut the grass. Lisa needs some help with something or other outside too. I think some plants need to be planted too.
So if I was an outsider looking at my life what do I think of it?? I think it is dumb. Really this thing we do is just a waste of time. Is there really a purpose to any of it?? Well I am not a Jew living in Germany in say 1942, so that is good.
I look around and know and understand most of the Shit in this World is pointless.
Even this blog is too. Sometimes I just hate the damn thing, and I am kinda getting tired of reading blogs too. My life is boring enough you know. Why do I need to read more about this stupid shit. Maybe the best thing about my blog is it has always let you in on more than stupid day to day Bullshit. Maybe it has always been really fucking boring. How the Hell would I know?
It really in my mind is becoming one of the shittiest things to do... reading this that is. I wouldn't. It is a big fucking waste of time like the rest of the Shit I do.
Ain't that life in a nutshell. Stupid fucking thing.
We don't open til 7:00. I have two hours. I guess today is a cup of coffee day.
Laterzzzzzzzzzzz folks. Keep on pretending you matter. :)
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Rushing One Up...
Good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I have been better, but that is par for the course sometimes. As this thing goes on the one thing that can always happen is the dreaded internal persecution. You know nothing of this. This is something I have dealt with for a long time. Many many times. As it happens I get points for this type of stuff, although I don't enjoy it. All the things I have earned I see none of it. I will get it later though.
What is an internal persecution. As I am now it is an uneasy feeling. The World hates you, and stuff like that. It is also a fragile time for me. It doesn't last though, and I am not sure all the reasons, but as some of us are connected in a way, perhaps it is a bad feeling for you too. I have no idea.
So anyway I didn't do much yesterday. I only worked til noon. I still am at over 40 hours, and I am working today. It will be busy, and this is the kick off for our busy season I guess, although the last month was crazy stupid busy.
There is plenty to do, Lisa is going to some wedding today. A dry wedding. Believe it or not Holland has a lot of these types of things. Never heard of one before I moved here. I wonder how many dark secrets this Dutch town holds. Can you imagine being able to see all the dark and hidden secrets from a town such as this. All the things these people try to hide. I don't want to know any of that crap from these people. This is definitely one of the worst towns in the World for keeping everybody and everything in the dark. Too bad those old Dutch people don't know there are no secrets, no matter what they try to cover up.
Poor souls..
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. The Sox lost their Opening day pitcher of last year, and still had a good year. He came back yesterday. 6 innings on 76 pitches. 5 strikeouts, no walks, and one HBP. Not bad. It was against the Marlins, which is basically a AAA team, but they put on the Major League uniforms.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
What is an internal persecution. As I am now it is an uneasy feeling. The World hates you, and stuff like that. It is also a fragile time for me. It doesn't last though, and I am not sure all the reasons, but as some of us are connected in a way, perhaps it is a bad feeling for you too. I have no idea.
So anyway I didn't do much yesterday. I only worked til noon. I still am at over 40 hours, and I am working today. It will be busy, and this is the kick off for our busy season I guess, although the last month was crazy stupid busy.
There is plenty to do, Lisa is going to some wedding today. A dry wedding. Believe it or not Holland has a lot of these types of things. Never heard of one before I moved here. I wonder how many dark secrets this Dutch town holds. Can you imagine being able to see all the dark and hidden secrets from a town such as this. All the things these people try to hide. I don't want to know any of that crap from these people. This is definitely one of the worst towns in the World for keeping everybody and everything in the dark. Too bad those old Dutch people don't know there are no secrets, no matter what they try to cover up.
Poor souls..
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. The Sox lost their Opening day pitcher of last year, and still had a good year. He came back yesterday. 6 innings on 76 pitches. 5 strikeouts, no walks, and one HBP. Not bad. It was against the Marlins, which is basically a AAA team, but they put on the Major League uniforms.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Friday, May 24, 2013
So Many Ways To Go...
Good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I can go in a lot of directions with this here blog today, and right now I am not really sure where I will go. I see the distances that must be traveled, and know it is impossible to get there. Everyone is so far away from the truth. Reasons are many, and maybe the biggest is you trust yourself. You can read this, and work toward this and that, and the answers will come. I was going to say the simplest step is to overcome yourself, but now that I think about it maybe it isn't simple.
I have been pulling and pulling on this blog, and for just a simple thing. Something that was so easy for me. I didn't even have any idea where it would lead. You know the best a person can ever ever be is a pretty ridiculous person... at least on their own. You want to make yourself into some great person with just what you have is like trying to jump over the Sears tower by practice alone. An effort in futility.
I know about certain things. Things one cannot even fathom until they go through the eye of the needle. I did go through the eye of the needle way back when. Remember?? Another one of those vision/dream things. It is what made me more spirit internally than human. Remember what I said about that?? Going through the eye of the needle is how it looks to be born. That was the birth of my spiritual self. Shortly after I did that 6 day thing where the worst of the worst was allowed to live in me. Was not allowed to overcome me, but just allowed to wreak havoc. He was trying to tell me one thing, but he knew who I was.
Shortly after the wait started up... perhaps, or right before he did tell me he will try to make me work again. He knows the outcome of me though, and he knows the efforts are futile, because I am willing, and have been willing to go where he does not want to go. The strength of me is a gift. I am made this way. I didn't make myself this way, it is a gift.
Can you imagine the end?? Everything is known, everything is seen. There is no stone to hide behind. The light is openness and truth. We all are clothed in various things to put up some kind of an appearance, but the naked truth of us is already known.
If you don't speak it or pretend not to think of it doesn't mean it still isn't there. The truth and light is real. Something you cannot hide from. All the hiding, and secrets are really what make us miserable. The path to honesty and light is scary, because... well we are who we are. Light heals. It is a laser surgery that cleans all the mess up.
Yeah it is scary, but it is good. Believe trust. Believe, trust. Believe and trust. The one who is stronger than society can overcome societies judgements and criticisms. That there is a step of faith huh??
I sometimes have to show the ugly side of people just to keep things real you know?? You want to look for only good, but the ugly truth is the best thing you will ever find. Trust much???
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I'd run right now, but my knee is kinda jacked. I think I will take the Hopester for a walk.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I have been pulling and pulling on this blog, and for just a simple thing. Something that was so easy for me. I didn't even have any idea where it would lead. You know the best a person can ever ever be is a pretty ridiculous person... at least on their own. You want to make yourself into some great person with just what you have is like trying to jump over the Sears tower by practice alone. An effort in futility.
I know about certain things. Things one cannot even fathom until they go through the eye of the needle. I did go through the eye of the needle way back when. Remember?? Another one of those vision/dream things. It is what made me more spirit internally than human. Remember what I said about that?? Going through the eye of the needle is how it looks to be born. That was the birth of my spiritual self. Shortly after I did that 6 day thing where the worst of the worst was allowed to live in me. Was not allowed to overcome me, but just allowed to wreak havoc. He was trying to tell me one thing, but he knew who I was.
Shortly after the wait started up... perhaps, or right before he did tell me he will try to make me work again. He knows the outcome of me though, and he knows the efforts are futile, because I am willing, and have been willing to go where he does not want to go. The strength of me is a gift. I am made this way. I didn't make myself this way, it is a gift.
Can you imagine the end?? Everything is known, everything is seen. There is no stone to hide behind. The light is openness and truth. We all are clothed in various things to put up some kind of an appearance, but the naked truth of us is already known.
If you don't speak it or pretend not to think of it doesn't mean it still isn't there. The truth and light is real. Something you cannot hide from. All the hiding, and secrets are really what make us miserable. The path to honesty and light is scary, because... well we are who we are. Light heals. It is a laser surgery that cleans all the mess up.
Yeah it is scary, but it is good. Believe trust. Believe, trust. Believe and trust. The one who is stronger than society can overcome societies judgements and criticisms. That there is a step of faith huh??
I sometimes have to show the ugly side of people just to keep things real you know?? You want to look for only good, but the ugly truth is the best thing you will ever find. Trust much???
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I'd run right now, but my knee is kinda jacked. I think I will take the Hopester for a walk.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Thursday, May 23, 2013
I Have A Bit Of Time.
Good morning all. How's it going? Me, I am doing okay I guess. I slept in a bit this morning. Nothing is ever planned. I wake up see how I feel. Is it midnight 2:00-3:00?? I think it was past 2:00 when I first woke up, and still felt tired, so slept til a little after 3:00. Probably could have slept more, but decided to get up. When I get up, I am up too.
Anyway anything going on?? Nope, not really. You know my life. Easy peasy. I took a vacation week starting a week from Monday, so I will have several days off. I hope to start priming the house.
So this thing goes on. I look at the big picture, and I realize this little thing does so very very little. Accomplishes basically nothing. A look at my life, and I see how very small it is. How insignificant the whole life of me is really. I was led on a path of learning. Don't think I always thought that way though.
Oh, I knew a long time ago I learned things others didn't know. I have been through 6 days I couldn't tell anyone about, because there was no way without sounding bonkers. I won't tell you about those, but I was broken at the end. Doomed, scared, and OMG I am toast.
I was lifted up, and I knew I wasn't bad. I was going to be a doer. I was going to change the World and yell to everyone the truth. I could do no wrong. Then my fullness of spirit was taken away. I was scared, because I didn't have my protection. I couldn't go back to those 6 days, and I was vulnerable.
I think I was a bit of a disappointment. I didn't trust, and many times I felt I let down. So I had to go a harder path. The reasons were already given. The path led me to here. The realization how very small, and how very little I can do.
There is a plan though. It isn't mine, and it will be done. I guess I help along in such a very small way, but I do what I can.
What will your life look like, and your thoughts?? Not sure. I realize our lives look one way, and it is big. We are important and stuff like that, but is kinda is a false vision.
There is so much to learn, and like I said the most important stuff you won't read in a book, or from some person talking. You do trust that stuff though. Actually we all are guilty of trusting various things more than what we really should. Part of the imperfection, and weakness of us.
So, let's see where our next steps lead.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Guess I should check the weather quick.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Anyway anything going on?? Nope, not really. You know my life. Easy peasy. I took a vacation week starting a week from Monday, so I will have several days off. I hope to start priming the house.
So this thing goes on. I look at the big picture, and I realize this little thing does so very very little. Accomplishes basically nothing. A look at my life, and I see how very small it is. How insignificant the whole life of me is really. I was led on a path of learning. Don't think I always thought that way though.
Oh, I knew a long time ago I learned things others didn't know. I have been through 6 days I couldn't tell anyone about, because there was no way without sounding bonkers. I won't tell you about those, but I was broken at the end. Doomed, scared, and OMG I am toast.
I was lifted up, and I knew I wasn't bad. I was going to be a doer. I was going to change the World and yell to everyone the truth. I could do no wrong. Then my fullness of spirit was taken away. I was scared, because I didn't have my protection. I couldn't go back to those 6 days, and I was vulnerable.
I think I was a bit of a disappointment. I didn't trust, and many times I felt I let down. So I had to go a harder path. The reasons were already given. The path led me to here. The realization how very small, and how very little I can do.
There is a plan though. It isn't mine, and it will be done. I guess I help along in such a very small way, but I do what I can.
What will your life look like, and your thoughts?? Not sure. I realize our lives look one way, and it is big. We are important and stuff like that, but is kinda is a false vision.
There is so much to learn, and like I said the most important stuff you won't read in a book, or from some person talking. You do trust that stuff though. Actually we all are guilty of trusting various things more than what we really should. Part of the imperfection, and weakness of us.
So, let's see where our next steps lead.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Guess I should check the weather quick.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
All Good Days Have Their Start Before 2:00 AM
At least for me. Been doing the same ol' thing for quite a while. Earlier is better for me. Why?? I don't know. I trust early morning, and my best hours are early morning, and I give my best hours of the day to me. At least as much as possible.
I know myself. I don't "have to" do this or that. I don't force myself to do anything. Part of the gift of being who I am. My "travels" have led me down a hard path. A path really of finding out about myself, and my place in this World. What this life means, and really all kindsa things like that.
The freedom to do as I choose, because the path is not being made by me. There is no preconceived direction I take, because I am not that smart.
I have gone through the things I have needed to go through. I have come out on the other end, and really it isn't too bad. I have learned things you cannot learn in a book. Answers have been given that were, and are hidden from the human eye. Societies have come and gone, and not had an inkling of the things I have learned.
You want to get to the soft underside of you, because the journey is to lose the fear of that. All the trappings and hangups society piles on your back you don't take them. All the things you strive for at the end of the day you don't say, "yeah but, I tried to do this and this"
The sad state of affairs is nothing is of really much significance. It is a sad tune, because to get to the soft underside a sad song must be played. You have a past. All are different. You were once a kid, and those days are long gone. You are all growed up, and as flawed as we all are, we are not really in that good of a spot.
The desire is always always to find our good. I say keep your eyes open to your bad. Truth is only one thing. When you see your bad you cannot shut it down, keep it in the dark, and pretend it isn't there. I mean yeah we want to, but honesty, and truth are tough things to do.
All is known about you. Yet we still try to hide it. The journey is a journey for you to find strength. the ability to walk flawed like all the flowers in the Garden without fear.
What do you have to do?? You have to be strong. You have to trust in the way, because who can make a better path?? You???
Like I said all is known. We all are guilty of some things, and you have got to be stronger than the prying eyes of society. Society leads nowhere.
It is a tough hard journey, and it leads to a place where your heart is better. Where all selfish ways find their end.
Don't you want to see the miracles that can be made out of your life??
There will be no shiny medals in this race at the end. Nope just the satisfaction you have done what you always were supposed to do.
What else matters???
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. If I am up before 2:00 AM, I have time to run.before work. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I know myself. I don't "have to" do this or that. I don't force myself to do anything. Part of the gift of being who I am. My "travels" have led me down a hard path. A path really of finding out about myself, and my place in this World. What this life means, and really all kindsa things like that.
The freedom to do as I choose, because the path is not being made by me. There is no preconceived direction I take, because I am not that smart.
I have gone through the things I have needed to go through. I have come out on the other end, and really it isn't too bad. I have learned things you cannot learn in a book. Answers have been given that were, and are hidden from the human eye. Societies have come and gone, and not had an inkling of the things I have learned.
You want to get to the soft underside of you, because the journey is to lose the fear of that. All the trappings and hangups society piles on your back you don't take them. All the things you strive for at the end of the day you don't say, "yeah but, I tried to do this and this"
The sad state of affairs is nothing is of really much significance. It is a sad tune, because to get to the soft underside a sad song must be played. You have a past. All are different. You were once a kid, and those days are long gone. You are all growed up, and as flawed as we all are, we are not really in that good of a spot.
The desire is always always to find our good. I say keep your eyes open to your bad. Truth is only one thing. When you see your bad you cannot shut it down, keep it in the dark, and pretend it isn't there. I mean yeah we want to, but honesty, and truth are tough things to do.
All is known about you. Yet we still try to hide it. The journey is a journey for you to find strength. the ability to walk flawed like all the flowers in the Garden without fear.
What do you have to do?? You have to be strong. You have to trust in the way, because who can make a better path?? You???
Like I said all is known. We all are guilty of some things, and you have got to be stronger than the prying eyes of society. Society leads nowhere.
It is a tough hard journey, and it leads to a place where your heart is better. Where all selfish ways find their end.
Don't you want to see the miracles that can be made out of your life??
There will be no shiny medals in this race at the end. Nope just the satisfaction you have done what you always were supposed to do.
What else matters???
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. If I am up before 2:00 AM, I have time to run.before work. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Well, I Better Get Going...
Good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing okay I'd say. So, let's have a blog and see what I am thinking this morning.
I am a poser. Geesh, I have been doing this blogging so long, and I guess I have placed a lot of importance to it. More in my eyes than others I guess. You look around at some of the people I read, and really look. Who are these people?? How did I get to know them/ read them??
My thinking of my self-importance has me thinking I should comment if I read. That is silly. That is not the way things are done, and I get that. I have always been a high percentage commenter, and now I am not.
I was reading a blog last night, and the blogger pointed out 4 years ago she ran with the same problem as she did this weekend. . I thought crap, I think I read that blog way back then. I have a history with some people. I thought 4 years?? How long have I been doing this?? I cannot remember. I am going to guess Jan. of 2009 was the start of Heimleblog. No one read it. I posted every day, and that was a horrible year. A lot happened that year. I was taken back to the summer of my discontent for a few days. I snapped. I couldn't do it anymore. Not AGAIN. I am done.
Then the night where everything changed, and I learned a lot. None of who I am is really important. All I have done is not really important. What is important are the things I can do with the help given. Why I had a weekend like last weekend I don't know. People are not courageous enough to deal with the truth??
You have to be such and such this way to have worth?? Well, if that just makes you "tough" and angry what are you gaining??
I'll tell you something about this girl who I read last night. She is read by the toughest competitors out there. She has as much natural talent as any of the other people I read, but she puts everything in perspective.
A Mom, wife, she has family, and other things are important too. I went back to her post of 4 years ago, and I did read that. I didn't comment on it, because I don't think I was commenting on her posts back then. It takes me a while to feel comfortable.
She let all the type A's know she ate McDonalds. She didn't care.
So I am a poser. Who are these other people I read?? Why do I feel important enough that I matter to them??
Well, life is a real thing, and sometimes you have to realize, I am not that important. HAHAHA.
I am free to be me, and I will be me. That is someone who isn't perfect, and I will not try to be.
I have an idea how things should go, and those who don't want to participate I am fine with. I don't have to participate either.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
p.s. One of the disappointments this weekend was very few stepped up for Maggs on her blog. Her Dad is going to die. There are other avenues to contact people, and I hope those were used. I can only see one.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I am a poser. Geesh, I have been doing this blogging so long, and I guess I have placed a lot of importance to it. More in my eyes than others I guess. You look around at some of the people I read, and really look. Who are these people?? How did I get to know them/ read them??
My thinking of my self-importance has me thinking I should comment if I read. That is silly. That is not the way things are done, and I get that. I have always been a high percentage commenter, and now I am not.
I was reading a blog last night, and the blogger pointed out 4 years ago she ran with the same problem as she did this weekend. . I thought crap, I think I read that blog way back then. I have a history with some people. I thought 4 years?? How long have I been doing this?? I cannot remember. I am going to guess Jan. of 2009 was the start of Heimleblog. No one read it. I posted every day, and that was a horrible year. A lot happened that year. I was taken back to the summer of my discontent for a few days. I snapped. I couldn't do it anymore. Not AGAIN. I am done.
Then the night where everything changed, and I learned a lot. None of who I am is really important. All I have done is not really important. What is important are the things I can do with the help given. Why I had a weekend like last weekend I don't know. People are not courageous enough to deal with the truth??
You have to be such and such this way to have worth?? Well, if that just makes you "tough" and angry what are you gaining??
I'll tell you something about this girl who I read last night. She is read by the toughest competitors out there. She has as much natural talent as any of the other people I read, but she puts everything in perspective.
A Mom, wife, she has family, and other things are important too. I went back to her post of 4 years ago, and I did read that. I didn't comment on it, because I don't think I was commenting on her posts back then. It takes me a while to feel comfortable.
She let all the type A's know she ate McDonalds. She didn't care.
So I am a poser. Who are these other people I read?? Why do I feel important enough that I matter to them??
Well, life is a real thing, and sometimes you have to realize, I am not that important. HAHAHA.
I am free to be me, and I will be me. That is someone who isn't perfect, and I will not try to be.
I have an idea how things should go, and those who don't want to participate I am fine with. I don't have to participate either.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
p.s. One of the disappointments this weekend was very few stepped up for Maggs on her blog. Her Dad is going to die. There are other avenues to contact people, and I hope those were used. I can only see one.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Monday, May 20, 2013
I Have To Say...
Good morning all. How's it going?? Me, SHEESH. I feel better today or perhaps in a better mood today than I did the last couple days. I didn't go to work all weekend, and that was fine. I got plenty of stuff done around the house. Yesterday I cut the back grass, watered the front lawn. I don't care about the back. Changed the oil in the truck. I helped Lisa load up the truck so she could bring some shit to her daughter. I even Miracle Gro'd the potted plants, and re-watered the front lawn. I also got a bit of a run in, and it seemed like my legs were actually moving. I was surprised.
Then I sat outside, and listened to music. I had some drinks, and went to bed early. I slept pretty good too.
So what was my deal this weekend?? I just kept seeing people's bad side in my mind. That isn't what it seems. The way I operate the bad side is the fabulous look how good I am side. Everywhere I turned, besides some places that is what I kept seeing, so I kinda just shut it all down.
You don't always shut it down, but I wanted to be invisible. I wanted no one to see me kinda. Do you ever get like that??
Maybe there is a big quid pro quo there. You have to show stuff if you want answers you know?? Like I said last post life is pretty boring. My life on the outside is pretty boring, and I don't care. Your lives don't look much better. I am probably tied up in less Shit than most people, and ahead of the game in that way anyway.
Fabulous really means you think this World is one great place, and you are doing things better than others, and everything you do is important, and I don't believe that. We as people are filled with all kindsa Bullshit. Anger, jealousy, hatred, why??? Cuz we are imperfect, and so are people.
This World is kinda a big shithole, because look who is making all the rules.
So, I am going to get an early short morning run in. Then I am going to work, and I will have a wine cook dinner on the grill day.
So starting off a bit better than my weekend off. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. yeah, I sure can be an asshole.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Then I sat outside, and listened to music. I had some drinks, and went to bed early. I slept pretty good too.
So what was my deal this weekend?? I just kept seeing people's bad side in my mind. That isn't what it seems. The way I operate the bad side is the fabulous look how good I am side. Everywhere I turned, besides some places that is what I kept seeing, so I kinda just shut it all down.
You don't always shut it down, but I wanted to be invisible. I wanted no one to see me kinda. Do you ever get like that??
Maybe there is a big quid pro quo there. You have to show stuff if you want answers you know?? Like I said last post life is pretty boring. My life on the outside is pretty boring, and I don't care. Your lives don't look much better. I am probably tied up in less Shit than most people, and ahead of the game in that way anyway.
Fabulous really means you think this World is one great place, and you are doing things better than others, and everything you do is important, and I don't believe that. We as people are filled with all kindsa Bullshit. Anger, jealousy, hatred, why??? Cuz we are imperfect, and so are people.
This World is kinda a big shithole, because look who is making all the rules.
So, I am going to get an early short morning run in. Then I am going to work, and I will have a wine cook dinner on the grill day.
So starting off a bit better than my weekend off. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. yeah, I sure can be an asshole.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Sunday, May 19, 2013
By Noon I Was Toast...
So Yesterday I had a bunch of crap to do. I get sidetracked, and I really had no idea I do that at home too. I had a lot I wanted to get done yesterday, and I didn't really have a plan.
I get a load of laundry in, and start with the dishes. All this starts at ass o' clock in the morning, so I cannot do real loud shit, although the dishwasher is loud.
here is where things get boring to you, but maybe interesting to me. The dogs spilled their whole water bowl on the rug and floor a day or two back, and our family room smelled from it. I took that thing outside and draped it over the bed of my truck to air out. I look at the oven, and the top needs to be cleaned with an SOS pad. I remember our cold water supply leaks in the bathroom upstairs, and I need to fix. Worse case scenario applies . I have to take the whole pedestal lav apart to unscrew the top of the supply line. I just added Teflon tape to the connection, and it worked. Then double worse case scenario happens. i cannot get my drain connection hooked up. I need an extension. So off I go to the local lumberyard to pick it up. It is okay, because I want to change the oil in the truck anyway, so I got that all fixed. Cold water works, and the drain doesn't leak all is good. I decide I to cut the grass shorter, and hope for rain. Don't see much rain in the forecast. Shoot.
I get done with the front, and I am toast. I have cleaned the floor under where the rug was. I vacuum the rug after Lisa added good smelly powder stuff, and we get the rug back in.
That is it. It is noon, and I am toast. I got a lot of stuff done, and most of it really wasn't in my plans. That is me in a nutshell. I can get sidetracked, and I see something not right it may drive me crazy, until it gets right.
I napped from 12-1:00. Decided to watch Hockey, and Baseball instead of hanging outside. Both my teams lost, and I was tired yesterday after my morning stuff. Lisa closed the last two nights, and I went to bed early both nights.
Why?? tired, and I have been off. Life is really kinda boring you know?? :)
Like this blog. Who gives a flying crap what I do day to day. Is the shit we think about only interesting to us, so we jot it down??
Do you read the same shit on this thing day to day, and get bored with it??
I am feeling that way. I have my phone sitting in the other room, and I don't really feel like looking at the same old shit you may see every fucking day.
Nothing ever changes.
Oh well. I told you I was off. :)
bye for now.
I get a load of laundry in, and start with the dishes. All this starts at ass o' clock in the morning, so I cannot do real loud shit, although the dishwasher is loud.
here is where things get boring to you, but maybe interesting to me. The dogs spilled their whole water bowl on the rug and floor a day or two back, and our family room smelled from it. I took that thing outside and draped it over the bed of my truck to air out. I look at the oven, and the top needs to be cleaned with an SOS pad. I remember our cold water supply leaks in the bathroom upstairs, and I need to fix. Worse case scenario applies . I have to take the whole pedestal lav apart to unscrew the top of the supply line. I just added Teflon tape to the connection, and it worked. Then double worse case scenario happens. i cannot get my drain connection hooked up. I need an extension. So off I go to the local lumberyard to pick it up. It is okay, because I want to change the oil in the truck anyway, so I got that all fixed. Cold water works, and the drain doesn't leak all is good. I decide I to cut the grass shorter, and hope for rain. Don't see much rain in the forecast. Shoot.
I get done with the front, and I am toast. I have cleaned the floor under where the rug was. I vacuum the rug after Lisa added good smelly powder stuff, and we get the rug back in.
That is it. It is noon, and I am toast. I got a lot of stuff done, and most of it really wasn't in my plans. That is me in a nutshell. I can get sidetracked, and I see something not right it may drive me crazy, until it gets right.
I napped from 12-1:00. Decided to watch Hockey, and Baseball instead of hanging outside. Both my teams lost, and I was tired yesterday after my morning stuff. Lisa closed the last two nights, and I went to bed early both nights.
Why?? tired, and I have been off. Life is really kinda boring you know?? :)
Like this blog. Who gives a flying crap what I do day to day. Is the shit we think about only interesting to us, so we jot it down??
Do you read the same shit on this thing day to day, and get bored with it??
I am feeling that way. I have my phone sitting in the other room, and I don't really feel like looking at the same old shit you may see every fucking day.
Nothing ever changes.
Oh well. I told you I was off. :)
bye for now.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
How Do Things Get Away From Us???
Holy Cripes, our house is a mess. How does it get like this??? How do I have so much to do today?? I have so much I want to get done today it isn't even funny, which means I am totally going to fail. You string a few nice days together, and Lisa and I spent all the time outside, and now the inside of our house is a mess.
Anyway I am not going to work today. I think I am going to start working on Sundays. I think it will help if I go in and help recover from a busy Saturday. There is plenty of help on Saturdays, and not much on Sundays, so that is my new plan.
Saturday is a nice day to have off too, because I am typically energetic, and ready to go, and on Sundays I really don't wanna do a lot. I like Sunday to be a lazy day, so I think working a quick 4 hours in the morning works out.
So I am going to be crazy busy. I don't feel like blogging today, so I will leave it at that.
Laterzz
Anyway I am not going to work today. I think I am going to start working on Sundays. I think it will help if I go in and help recover from a busy Saturday. There is plenty of help on Saturdays, and not much on Sundays, so that is my new plan.
Saturday is a nice day to have off too, because I am typically energetic, and ready to go, and on Sundays I really don't wanna do a lot. I like Sunday to be a lazy day, so I think working a quick 4 hours in the morning works out.
So I am going to be crazy busy. I don't feel like blogging today, so I will leave it at that.
Laterzz
Friday, May 17, 2013
Changes...
Good Morning all. How's it going? Me, I am doing pretty good. I am going to get me a cup of coffee. I think my first one of the week. I am up early though, and have time for it, and feel like it, so going to get it. I will brb.
Anyway I have decided to make some changes in my training. I will either do stuff before work, or right after. It works better for me. My Tuesday Thursday night thing isn't going to work out, because of scheduling conflicts, and A plumber who will probably be too busy with the Economy picking up in Western Michigan. Detroit is still a shithole and a drag on Michigan probably, but Western Michigan is humming along just fine.
I ran the Church trails yesterday, and it was a good run. I was alone on my run. One thing I tried to do is keep my breathing down. You always think you should run a perceived certain speed, and I slowed myself down to keep the breathing easy. I still had an incline to a nasty hill to get through twice anyway, so there was plenty of max effort. I am going to hit the trails again today after work.
Anything else going on? Not really. I talked to my Dad yesterday. It was a pretty good convo. His life is definitely different now then what he pictured I bet at 40, and even 20. I think he is 78. We talked about some of the Bullshit I put my parents through in my younger years. College years basically. My time of growing up. These years have been pasted throughout the pages of my blogs, but I was not the model person when I rebelled against the World and life. This was when I went away to College. My H.S. girlfriend and I broke up, and I was mad at women, and the World, and really what happened is I had to find the balance between fun and work. You have to do that shit, The 4-letter word work. You also have to have fun, because most of the work you do is pointless. You'll get no points for it, but you have to live, and the World is made that way, and for your own sanity you have to do stuff right??
I wonder how many people have not a good balance between work and fun. Too much fun and a fuck up. Too much work and an empty life?? Who knows huh??
How is my life looking?? What did I plan at 20 and 30, and how does my life look to what I pictured??
HA HA HA. Well, isn't that a story in and of itself. My plans were booooooooooWorld. Boooooooo life. Let me put those decisions in some better hands.
That my friends has made all the difference.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. My run yesterday was kinda perfect. Feeling myself running, and in the sun with a nice breeze, and not hot at all. I felt like I was doing good stuff you know??
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Anyway I have decided to make some changes in my training. I will either do stuff before work, or right after. It works better for me. My Tuesday Thursday night thing isn't going to work out, because of scheduling conflicts, and A plumber who will probably be too busy with the Economy picking up in Western Michigan. Detroit is still a shithole and a drag on Michigan probably, but Western Michigan is humming along just fine.
I ran the Church trails yesterday, and it was a good run. I was alone on my run. One thing I tried to do is keep my breathing down. You always think you should run a perceived certain speed, and I slowed myself down to keep the breathing easy. I still had an incline to a nasty hill to get through twice anyway, so there was plenty of max effort. I am going to hit the trails again today after work.
Anything else going on? Not really. I talked to my Dad yesterday. It was a pretty good convo. His life is definitely different now then what he pictured I bet at 40, and even 20. I think he is 78. We talked about some of the Bullshit I put my parents through in my younger years. College years basically. My time of growing up. These years have been pasted throughout the pages of my blogs, but I was not the model person when I rebelled against the World and life. This was when I went away to College. My H.S. girlfriend and I broke up, and I was mad at women, and the World, and really what happened is I had to find the balance between fun and work. You have to do that shit, The 4-letter word work. You also have to have fun, because most of the work you do is pointless. You'll get no points for it, but you have to live, and the World is made that way, and for your own sanity you have to do stuff right??
I wonder how many people have not a good balance between work and fun. Too much fun and a fuck up. Too much work and an empty life?? Who knows huh??
How is my life looking?? What did I plan at 20 and 30, and how does my life look to what I pictured??
HA HA HA. Well, isn't that a story in and of itself. My plans were booooooooooWorld. Boooooooo life. Let me put those decisions in some better hands.
That my friends has made all the difference.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. My run yesterday was kinda perfect. Feeling myself running, and in the sun with a nice breeze, and not hot at all. I felt like I was doing good stuff you know??
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
2:45 Is Better Than 3:15.
Good Morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing good. The title of my post is that title, because yesterday I was rushed, and didn't have time to bike to work, or didn't feel like really rushing, and time trialing to work. Now I am up early enough, and won't have a problem.
My run yesterday was not that good. Still felt knee pain, so I am going to run on the trails on Thursday. I think that will be better. Grass instead of pavement. It was a nice day out, and I spent most of it outside. Some things never change. We redid one of our flower gardens by the road, and Lisa put in a flat of annuals to finish it up. It was a scraggly looking one before we fixed it up.
I had a couple drinks and cooked on the grill, and it was a pretty good day.
One of the things I thought about yesterday's post is the totality of life. We do all kindsa things, and we place value in ourselves in various things.
Here are some examples:
Go down the list. You place value on yourself with what?? You have done so and so race. You have won so and so race?? In your view what about you gives you the most worth as a person??
Now go to the judgement day, and leave all that out, because none of that matters to the one in charge.
You see???
Our whole life means nothing. Why is it that way?? It seems silly to our understanding, but some serious shit went down on the apple eating thing. Girls who have delivered babies probably know. Don't ever doubt for a second the anger.
There are examples where Shit is real. Math is not good, etc...
I have been saying a while take life seriously. This shit is real, and this blog here is real. There is a way to get to the better part of you, and well, I have been going on a while.
There are two sides to people. The one they want to show people, and the real truthful side that is hard to get to, and probably impossible without help. Truthful you can be. Good and right you cannot be. Some will pretend, but that means nothing. What you ever ever pretend to be is not good.
What you really are is the good stuff. Who really wants to show that though?? Maybe we feel people will think less of you, but they probably won't. If this blog is proof of one thing most will like you more, and I for sure will.
Strength is a great thing. Yeah you will feel people may judge you, but when you get to the final day there are actually points for living through that shit. :) So be strong and grab points when you can right??
That is what I think.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. The Sox won, so guess I can check out MLB today. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
My run yesterday was not that good. Still felt knee pain, so I am going to run on the trails on Thursday. I think that will be better. Grass instead of pavement. It was a nice day out, and I spent most of it outside. Some things never change. We redid one of our flower gardens by the road, and Lisa put in a flat of annuals to finish it up. It was a scraggly looking one before we fixed it up.
I had a couple drinks and cooked on the grill, and it was a pretty good day.
One of the things I thought about yesterday's post is the totality of life. We do all kindsa things, and we place value in ourselves in various things.
Here are some examples:
- I do triathlons/running races
- I stay fit by doing yadda yadda yadda
- I play music
- I make people laugh
- I work hard
- I am a Mom/Dad
Go down the list. You place value on yourself with what?? You have done so and so race. You have won so and so race?? In your view what about you gives you the most worth as a person??
Now go to the judgement day, and leave all that out, because none of that matters to the one in charge.
You see???
Our whole life means nothing. Why is it that way?? It seems silly to our understanding, but some serious shit went down on the apple eating thing. Girls who have delivered babies probably know. Don't ever doubt for a second the anger.
There are examples where Shit is real. Math is not good, etc...
I have been saying a while take life seriously. This shit is real, and this blog here is real. There is a way to get to the better part of you, and well, I have been going on a while.
There are two sides to people. The one they want to show people, and the real truthful side that is hard to get to, and probably impossible without help. Truthful you can be. Good and right you cannot be. Some will pretend, but that means nothing. What you ever ever pretend to be is not good.
What you really are is the good stuff. Who really wants to show that though?? Maybe we feel people will think less of you, but they probably won't. If this blog is proof of one thing most will like you more, and I for sure will.
Strength is a great thing. Yeah you will feel people may judge you, but when you get to the final day there are actually points for living through that shit. :) So be strong and grab points when you can right??
That is what I think.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. The Sox won, so guess I can check out MLB today. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Strange morning already. Not really, but I need a title. ;)
Good Morning all. how's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I was up well before my alarm I don't use, and thought hmmmm.... I am going to be up early. then when the alarm I don't use was about to not go off, I all of a sudden felt very tired. So I slept til like 3:15 or something.
So that was kinda strange.
So what is going on?? Not much. I did have just as good of a Monday as you can have. Work went well. Time went too fast. I was like I am making good time, I am making good time. SHIT. I'll never get as much done as I'd like. I didn't work late, because I wanted to cut the grass. I did my grocery shopping, and went and got gas for the lawnmower, and cut the grass. I actually was able to start up my trimmer right away. Last time I pulled my forearm trying to start it. The arm hurt for like 5 days after. Today it started right up. I must have flooded it or something, because I mean the sucker started right up.
So it is a Monday, and I cut the grass, and it was taco Monday, and I had wine, and the rest of the week is going to be in the 70's. I am planning on running tonight although my knee is not 100%. I haven't run since last Wednesday.
So what does that all mean?? It means I have been throwing up some doozies, and I guess I see the direction we are going. Our lives are filled with our security blanket. All our worth is tied up in whatever. I am taking away your security blanket. Everything you trust that gives you value, because you have to be strong, and you have to be strong without your security blanket. Why??? Because that is the way.
I wish every Monday could be like yesterday. Maybe after this weekend of shitty weather, we had sun, and I knew the forecast after Monday was going to be good. Getting the yard mowed in May is fun too. :) Later in August probably not so much, but in May, yeah it is still good.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Bulls got killed and the Sox lost.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
So that was kinda strange.
So what is going on?? Not much. I did have just as good of a Monday as you can have. Work went well. Time went too fast. I was like I am making good time, I am making good time. SHIT. I'll never get as much done as I'd like. I didn't work late, because I wanted to cut the grass. I did my grocery shopping, and went and got gas for the lawnmower, and cut the grass. I actually was able to start up my trimmer right away. Last time I pulled my forearm trying to start it. The arm hurt for like 5 days after. Today it started right up. I must have flooded it or something, because I mean the sucker started right up.
So it is a Monday, and I cut the grass, and it was taco Monday, and I had wine, and the rest of the week is going to be in the 70's. I am planning on running tonight although my knee is not 100%. I haven't run since last Wednesday.
So what does that all mean?? It means I have been throwing up some doozies, and I guess I see the direction we are going. Our lives are filled with our security blanket. All our worth is tied up in whatever. I am taking away your security blanket. Everything you trust that gives you value, because you have to be strong, and you have to be strong without your security blanket. Why??? Because that is the way.
I wish every Monday could be like yesterday. Maybe after this weekend of shitty weather, we had sun, and I knew the forecast after Monday was going to be good. Getting the yard mowed in May is fun too. :) Later in August probably not so much, but in May, yeah it is still good.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Bulls got killed and the Sox lost.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Monday, May 13, 2013
Not Really Much...
I was just kinda thinking about life in general. You read some blogs, or read this, and you realize, sheesh. There isn't much to life. All the hours in the day, and what do we fill them up with?? What value do you put on the things you do throughout the day?? There really isn't anything is there??
I imagine most people feel sort of content by rationalizing, I put time and effort here, and time and effort here, and that is important to me, so that MUST be important to the Universe huh??
Well, I see the totality of life, and the stupid day to day shit I do, and realize it is all pointless. I mean I have a realistic view of things. I am not going to sugarcoat anything and say looookeeeee here. See me.
The World is kinda whack, and I think it is good if we accept the shitty parts of life. The tendency of people is to try and get to the "good" part of life, and show the good stuff, so they don't have to focus on the bad stuff. Life is more bad than good. How much of your day is spent doing what you want?? Even if you did just what you wanted that day do you feel good about it??
If you are a lazy person you probably feel guilty about doing nothing all day. If you are striving after something in the big picture you will just be striving after wind, and not feel content anyway.
What are you striving for anyway??
In all of your life what do you place the most value on?? Well we all really grew up, and we try and show our good qualities I guess. We aren't perfect though are we??
I don't know the direction of people. It seems we have hit a dead end, because where are you heading?? What are you doing?? Is this all there is to life??
Isn't that sad kinda?? What if everyone took a view of your life, and thought... hmmmmmm... that kinda sucks.
Really we all are in the same position. Our lives are kinda stupid, and boring, and we do stupid shit, and occupy our time doing stuff that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
Lives are really empty and pointless, and stupid, and stuff like that. We get no points for any of it.
Happiness is not something we strive for. All the good things in life are not something we attain. The best things in life are things given.
A lesson to be accepted, and learned once you have been given. You see the picture of your life??? Sad kinda huh??
I read it in your words, because it is how your heart really feels, but you don't know it yet. I can see it and feel it though.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. today is taco Monday. wif wine. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo
Good Morning Olga. :) Glad you slept well. :)
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I imagine most people feel sort of content by rationalizing, I put time and effort here, and time and effort here, and that is important to me, so that MUST be important to the Universe huh??
Well, I see the totality of life, and the stupid day to day shit I do, and realize it is all pointless. I mean I have a realistic view of things. I am not going to sugarcoat anything and say looookeeeee here. See me.
The World is kinda whack, and I think it is good if we accept the shitty parts of life. The tendency of people is to try and get to the "good" part of life, and show the good stuff, so they don't have to focus on the bad stuff. Life is more bad than good. How much of your day is spent doing what you want?? Even if you did just what you wanted that day do you feel good about it??
If you are a lazy person you probably feel guilty about doing nothing all day. If you are striving after something in the big picture you will just be striving after wind, and not feel content anyway.
What are you striving for anyway??
In all of your life what do you place the most value on?? Well we all really grew up, and we try and show our good qualities I guess. We aren't perfect though are we??
I don't know the direction of people. It seems we have hit a dead end, because where are you heading?? What are you doing?? Is this all there is to life??
Isn't that sad kinda?? What if everyone took a view of your life, and thought... hmmmmmm... that kinda sucks.
Really we all are in the same position. Our lives are kinda stupid, and boring, and we do stupid shit, and occupy our time doing stuff that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
Lives are really empty and pointless, and stupid, and stuff like that. We get no points for any of it.
Happiness is not something we strive for. All the good things in life are not something we attain. The best things in life are things given.
A lesson to be accepted, and learned once you have been given. You see the picture of your life??? Sad kinda huh??
I read it in your words, because it is how your heart really feels, but you don't know it yet. I can see it and feel it though.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. today is taco Monday. wif wine. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo
Good Morning Olga. :) Glad you slept well. :)
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Sunday, May 12, 2013
If I Feel Like It...
The story of my life. Well, at least the last several years. What does that mean?? This blog for one. I do it if I feel like. If I wake up well before work. Also as to this morning, I did not finish all I wanted to get done yesterday at work. I worked for 6 hours. So I thought I'd go in today if I feel like it. Well, I am up really early. I went to bed early yesterday. That happens when you have beer with lunch. I didn't really have much to do yesterday. Lisa was sick, I got most of the housework done before work so.
Anyway, I am going to go into work for a bit today. Why?? As the title suggests, I feel like it.
In the deeper meaning of I feel like it, is I don't ever second guess what I feel like. Don't worry about it at all. That is the strangest and totally uncomprehending thing of me I bet. I don't worry about how I am, and what I think, because all is known, and all is seen, and even in my hardest days pre-wait days that was always a strength. Am I bad, am I horrible, am I the worst person??? Close my eyes, and feel and know all is seen, and that is good with me.
I imagine at times people feel should I be thinking this way?? Should I be thinking a certain other way. Should I be nicer to this person who is pissing me off?? Should I not be calling this person an asshole under my breath??
If, I am supposed to be a certain way, I don't know it. I have been through all that I need to go through, and I have been accepted. Not because of anything great I did, but just cuz. That is a strange thing about this life. I must do this and this and this, or this and that, to be good. To be accepted. I must prove my worth somehow.
Everyone always wants to prove their worth with works, and that was never supposed to be the way was it? Let me show you what I can do, and all he wants is to show you what he can do.
Let me show you what I can do brings people to some really crazy things. At the extreme would be to show the love of God by blowing myself up and the heathen. Crap like that has been going on for centuries. Killing in the name of love??
Anyway, one more thing of me going into work today is we have a cold front coming in. A high today of 48, and overcast. On a day like this do I really have anything better to do??
Nope. :) So all is good here.
One other thing I think about a lot is people should do more, and show more, but we don't. I always think things will go a certain way. I walk blindly though really, and I have no idea how things will really end up being. I know the finish line, and I have no idea how things will go to get us there.
We will see I guess.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I guess I should bundle up and take the Hopester for a walk.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Anyway, I am going to go into work for a bit today. Why?? As the title suggests, I feel like it.
In the deeper meaning of I feel like it, is I don't ever second guess what I feel like. Don't worry about it at all. That is the strangest and totally uncomprehending thing of me I bet. I don't worry about how I am, and what I think, because all is known, and all is seen, and even in my hardest days pre-wait days that was always a strength. Am I bad, am I horrible, am I the worst person??? Close my eyes, and feel and know all is seen, and that is good with me.
I imagine at times people feel should I be thinking this way?? Should I be thinking a certain other way. Should I be nicer to this person who is pissing me off?? Should I not be calling this person an asshole under my breath??
If, I am supposed to be a certain way, I don't know it. I have been through all that I need to go through, and I have been accepted. Not because of anything great I did, but just cuz. That is a strange thing about this life. I must do this and this and this, or this and that, to be good. To be accepted. I must prove my worth somehow.
Everyone always wants to prove their worth with works, and that was never supposed to be the way was it? Let me show you what I can do, and all he wants is to show you what he can do.
Let me show you what I can do brings people to some really crazy things. At the extreme would be to show the love of God by blowing myself up and the heathen. Crap like that has been going on for centuries. Killing in the name of love??
Anyway, one more thing of me going into work today is we have a cold front coming in. A high today of 48, and overcast. On a day like this do I really have anything better to do??
Nope. :) So all is good here.
One other thing I think about a lot is people should do more, and show more, but we don't. I always think things will go a certain way. I walk blindly though really, and I have no idea how things will really end up being. I know the finish line, and I have no idea how things will go to get us there.
We will see I guess.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I guess I should bundle up and take the Hopester for a walk.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Saturday, May 11, 2013
How Far Has This Thing Come??
Well, I am going to get a cup of coffee, as it is done. Okay. Hello. How's it going?? Me, I am a bit saddish I think. I don't know the reasons, or maybe I do.
Those of you who read this know me pretty well. I piss people off with this thing somehow. I don't know all the reasons. Communication is bad. We as people are pretty bad at that, because... well I think mostly, because we are "supposed" to be a certain way probably.
So anyway I realized a couple weeks ago I pissed off one of my favorite bloggers I read, Mindee. I caught up with her when she was in Wisconsin. She was going through a tough time, and she moved to New York. She is funny, and she wanted to grow a beard for Winter running. She went through tough times, but came out on the other end in pretty good fashion. A colorful personality, and she is a Michigan fan to boot, Anyway like I said things were going along going along, and boom you realize Holy Shit we aren't friends anymore.
Anyway this blog thing has traveled a great distance. With this blog I have been able to get to know people. The most common way was comments upon my comments, which is how blogger works on some sites. You comment, and you get an e-mail if someone comments on top of your comment. Not on all sites but some. You have to set it up that way.
I would not have ever ever read Mindee if it wasn't for that thingy. I could name some others too. My whole list is made up of that I think. :) Or most of it anyway.
For some reason people quit blogging a lot. I am not sure of all the reasons, or any of the reasons to be exact. People hiding in their shell of life?? Are people's lives only surface deep?? I do this and this and this, and that is my life??
I think there is more to people, and you have got to be able to see it right?? Somehow someway?? I know this blog is weird, because it sings a sad tune, but I have a happy heart mostly. It was my gift from many Summers ago. My heart wasn't always happy though, and I had to travel through Steve's Journey, and run that to the end. Then there was that "iz" night that made a mess of things.
The story has been told. The Iz story is an ugly one. What is the lesson of that?? compassion over sacrifice?? There are weights to the balances of life, and the desire has always been for more compassion and less sacrifice. To have a better heart though you have to get to the sad parts of life. To ignore them, or bury them makes us worse people I think.
You know I don't put names on this thing very often anymore. I used Mindee's name on this one, because she has always been very good at that. Her search has always been for a better life, and feeling good, and she doesn't always. You can tell on her last post sometimes day to day life isn't all that. It is why she went to the Hamptons or as she said people in MI go to the U.P.
My travels I guess go with my heart, and they fill my head with things. It is how I travel, because I can.
Anyway life is sad. I like Mindee too. She is good people. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. opened up a can of worms yesterday at work. I am at like 45 hours so could take today off, but I opened up the so called can of worms, and now I have to try and finish it as much as possible. :) I like it though. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Those of you who read this know me pretty well. I piss people off with this thing somehow. I don't know all the reasons. Communication is bad. We as people are pretty bad at that, because... well I think mostly, because we are "supposed" to be a certain way probably.
So anyway I realized a couple weeks ago I pissed off one of my favorite bloggers I read, Mindee. I caught up with her when she was in Wisconsin. She was going through a tough time, and she moved to New York. She is funny, and she wanted to grow a beard for Winter running. She went through tough times, but came out on the other end in pretty good fashion. A colorful personality, and she is a Michigan fan to boot, Anyway like I said things were going along going along, and boom you realize Holy Shit we aren't friends anymore.
Anyway this blog thing has traveled a great distance. With this blog I have been able to get to know people. The most common way was comments upon my comments, which is how blogger works on some sites. You comment, and you get an e-mail if someone comments on top of your comment. Not on all sites but some. You have to set it up that way.
I would not have ever ever read Mindee if it wasn't for that thingy. I could name some others too. My whole list is made up of that I think. :) Or most of it anyway.
For some reason people quit blogging a lot. I am not sure of all the reasons, or any of the reasons to be exact. People hiding in their shell of life?? Are people's lives only surface deep?? I do this and this and this, and that is my life??
I think there is more to people, and you have got to be able to see it right?? Somehow someway?? I know this blog is weird, because it sings a sad tune, but I have a happy heart mostly. It was my gift from many Summers ago. My heart wasn't always happy though, and I had to travel through Steve's Journey, and run that to the end. Then there was that "iz" night that made a mess of things.
The story has been told. The Iz story is an ugly one. What is the lesson of that?? compassion over sacrifice?? There are weights to the balances of life, and the desire has always been for more compassion and less sacrifice. To have a better heart though you have to get to the sad parts of life. To ignore them, or bury them makes us worse people I think.
You know I don't put names on this thing very often anymore. I used Mindee's name on this one, because she has always been very good at that. Her search has always been for a better life, and feeling good, and she doesn't always. You can tell on her last post sometimes day to day life isn't all that. It is why she went to the Hamptons or as she said people in MI go to the U.P.
My travels I guess go with my heart, and they fill my head with things. It is how I travel, because I can.
Anyway life is sad. I like Mindee too. She is good people. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. opened up a can of worms yesterday at work. I am at like 45 hours so could take today off, but I opened up the so called can of worms, and now I have to try and finish it as much as possible. :) I like it though. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Friday, May 10, 2013
Sometimes A Little Nutty, and Sometimes Not.
Good Morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good. I had an unexpected day yesterday at work. I went in with the mindset of doing my regular job, and set myself up for my regular Friday. I sort of got sidetracked, and spent 10 hours doing something else. This time of year is crazy busy, and it is easy to get behind for the uber busy departments. I thought afterwards, I spent 10 hours doing what I did. There was no way anyone else had time to do what I did.
I like that about my job. I always have stuff to do, and sometimes I get sidetracked because you can't let things just slide. I like to be busy and stay busy. The only problem with working 10 hours all on your feet is you don't feel like doing anything after. Our run got cancelled which was probably a blessing, because my knee did not feel all that great yesterday. I shouldn't have run Wednesday morning. That was probably dumb. Oh well.
I know my last couple posts were doozies, and I have known this stuff for a long time. You know what too?? All this stuff I have been telling you has been locked up since the early 90's. I had no way to tell people, and I think that is because it wasn't time. Slowly but surely all my stuff comes out. I am sure it comes out at the right time. I am not the one in charge of this thing. I don't even really know how this is helping you. I know it gives you a better version of life, and that sometimes sucks. Life is a hard thing. There is so much negative stuff around, and life has stress, and people are imperfect, and we should be striving for this and this, but we are going to die, and ultimately that makes everything pointless.
Maybe that is sad, but where I have been, and what I have been through, and how I am now, everything is accepted. I have moved on, and well, there is hope, and there is promise, and there is me how I am.
I really don't have too much else to say. Life is really dumb. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I have no idea what I am going to do today after work. If my knee wasn't being weird I would run now, but I'll play it safe, and run this weekend.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I like that about my job. I always have stuff to do, and sometimes I get sidetracked because you can't let things just slide. I like to be busy and stay busy. The only problem with working 10 hours all on your feet is you don't feel like doing anything after. Our run got cancelled which was probably a blessing, because my knee did not feel all that great yesterday. I shouldn't have run Wednesday morning. That was probably dumb. Oh well.
I know my last couple posts were doozies, and I have known this stuff for a long time. You know what too?? All this stuff I have been telling you has been locked up since the early 90's. I had no way to tell people, and I think that is because it wasn't time. Slowly but surely all my stuff comes out. I am sure it comes out at the right time. I am not the one in charge of this thing. I don't even really know how this is helping you. I know it gives you a better version of life, and that sometimes sucks. Life is a hard thing. There is so much negative stuff around, and life has stress, and people are imperfect, and we should be striving for this and this, but we are going to die, and ultimately that makes everything pointless.
Maybe that is sad, but where I have been, and what I have been through, and how I am now, everything is accepted. I have moved on, and well, there is hope, and there is promise, and there is me how I am.
I really don't have too much else to say. Life is really dumb. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I have no idea what I am going to do today after work. If my knee wasn't being weird I would run now, but I'll play it safe, and run this weekend.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Thursday, May 9, 2013
LOLzzzz
Good Morning all. How's it going. Ever have one of those feelings you threw a doozy of an entry down the day before?? Yeah, I got that feeling. That feeling where you tell people, "Hey stop!!! look at your life, like really look at it, do you see how stupid it is??"
HAHAHA. Well it is. One of the dumbest things ever, but also one of the most serious. Why is life here on Earth the way it is?? Well I am sure there is serious things that happened, but our understanding kinda gives us the cartoon version.
Well, you have been given a set of eyes. Not the biological ones, but the eyes inside your head. The ones that see things, and make you wonder. As far as I can tell you don't use them too much. Life has you too busy. You are onto your next whatever it is you do, and a gift you have been given, you haven't been using.
So in your mind life is supposed to be this certain way. Whatever stories you have been told growing up, and seen on the tee vee, and whatever. Well all those stories are false. Your life is you. It is no one else, and yours will be different than everyone else who walked this Earth. You can "pretend" you belong to some group, but it still is you.
"But I belonged to this group, and I did these things" That thinking gets you nowhere. My friends were so and so. That gets you nowhere too. You don't answer to family, and friends, or anyone. You answer to you. All the things you have done in your life, and all your thoughts, and all the things you continue to do.
Life is this game we all lose. There is victory out there, but it is not within your power to grasp. It is not within you ability to be smart enough to understand. It is the hardest thing you can every imagine, because for you it is 100% impossible. No chance, no way, no how.
It is an easy thing for one to give you, but the path is hard. It is a struggle, because you have got to become stronger and better than the one who gave the apple. There is only one who was able to overcome that, and it is where we are heading.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I am hungry. I am going to make some breakfast.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
HAHAHA. Well it is. One of the dumbest things ever, but also one of the most serious. Why is life here on Earth the way it is?? Well I am sure there is serious things that happened, but our understanding kinda gives us the cartoon version.
Well, you have been given a set of eyes. Not the biological ones, but the eyes inside your head. The ones that see things, and make you wonder. As far as I can tell you don't use them too much. Life has you too busy. You are onto your next whatever it is you do, and a gift you have been given, you haven't been using.
So in your mind life is supposed to be this certain way. Whatever stories you have been told growing up, and seen on the tee vee, and whatever. Well all those stories are false. Your life is you. It is no one else, and yours will be different than everyone else who walked this Earth. You can "pretend" you belong to some group, but it still is you.
"But I belonged to this group, and I did these things" That thinking gets you nowhere. My friends were so and so. That gets you nowhere too. You don't answer to family, and friends, or anyone. You answer to you. All the things you have done in your life, and all your thoughts, and all the things you continue to do.
Life is this game we all lose. There is victory out there, but it is not within your power to grasp. It is not within you ability to be smart enough to understand. It is the hardest thing you can every imagine, because for you it is 100% impossible. No chance, no way, no how.
It is an easy thing for one to give you, but the path is hard. It is a struggle, because you have got to become stronger and better than the one who gave the apple. There is only one who was able to overcome that, and it is where we are heading.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I am hungry. I am going to make some breakfast.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Decisions Decisions...
Good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing okay. I am deciding what I should do today. Run before work, or after. I think I will run before work, since I am up early, and have time.
Okay, so got that sorted. Yesterday Jerry and I did a 6.2'ish run yesterday in the sun, and 75'ish degree weather. Against the wind was pretty nice especially in the shade. In the full sun with the wind at our backs took a bit out of us. Still acclimating to those temps.
Today the weather should be the same, and I don't know what I will do after work. Lisa closes tonight. Do I really have anything on my mind?? Well one thing. Do others have anything on their mind?? Do people just go through life without thinking about much and then die??
I mean I saw this thing the other day which said, "You go to school for 12 years, college for 4, and then you work til you die." When I finished the4 err 4.5 umm 5 + years of college I looked at life. What does this thing here I am doing amount to?? So I looked and looked at life, and looked and looked to see what a person can do. Hmmmmmm. Didn't like much of it to be honest. The World looked so dirty, and every turn seemed to be a dead end. So I did what I did, I made the turn of I don't like this life. It leads to death. I don't know what to do with this life, and everything I can think of seems dirty. What is one to do??
Well, you know what I did. I went down a long path to finding out about life, and myself, and my relation with this thing called life, and came to some conclusions. Pretty much the same as Solomon. This whole thing is pretty dumb. I say it this way, because my eyes can only see the comic book version of my silly life. I don't see the seriousness, although I know it is. I have been to the non-comic book version of life. It is there where real fear lives, and it is in these times of trials, and judgements where we gain strength I guess.
I remember being told during my Summer of discontent to "remember your journey, you will never do it again." Well, I wasn't going to forget, but I didn't really remember it all to be honest. Out of sight out of mind type of thing, but everything came back
What a time that was, and what an awful time to boot. Then I had to suffer some more things later on. I had to take some stuff from people when their life was too much to deal with. I think those times I was close to understanding. Where you can see a person's pain. You know what?? We are blinded to our own pain many times, because we have a lot of other stuff in us. We have hate, and judgement to the people we don't like. We have day to day life stress, which zaps us a bit. We have anger and stuff to the powers that be for not making life better for us all. We are mad at the people who don't have their SHIT together like we do. Life is busy, and we are bombarded, and if you want to deal with the whole makeup of you, and what your life means you will need help.
The vision to see you... something as simple as that is not within your power. Do you see how weak, and pathetic we as humans are?? We are worthless. Enslaved inside our tiny minds, that we can not even do the little things that need to be done to make us better people.
Many are walking through life with not a single thought inside their head?? All avenues lead nowhere, and someday you will wake up old. Ahhhh the strength of youth. The days when we could do anything. We had the World at our feet.
Well, the World sucks. It is an evil place, and you aren't going to change the power of gravity or the direction the Earth rotates. You will not change this World, and you will not change mankind, and you cannot even change yourself to be the best version of you.
What do you want of life?? I mean really really??? What do you want to accomplish?? Is your life just about you???
questions questions questions. There are answers, and they are not what you think.
So, it is almost 3:00 AM. Looks like I will be able to take the Hopester for a little run before work. I am slow, and still out of shape, but those 6 + milers on Tuesdays and Thursdays will have me on the right track.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. ehhh, I got nothing for a p.s. Guess this will have to do. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Okay, so got that sorted. Yesterday Jerry and I did a 6.2'ish run yesterday in the sun, and 75'ish degree weather. Against the wind was pretty nice especially in the shade. In the full sun with the wind at our backs took a bit out of us. Still acclimating to those temps.
Today the weather should be the same, and I don't know what I will do after work. Lisa closes tonight. Do I really have anything on my mind?? Well one thing. Do others have anything on their mind?? Do people just go through life without thinking about much and then die??
I mean I saw this thing the other day which said, "You go to school for 12 years, college for 4, and then you work til you die." When I finished the
Well, you know what I did. I went down a long path to finding out about life, and myself, and my relation with this thing called life, and came to some conclusions. Pretty much the same as Solomon. This whole thing is pretty dumb. I say it this way, because my eyes can only see the comic book version of my silly life. I don't see the seriousness, although I know it is. I have been to the non-comic book version of life. It is there where real fear lives, and it is in these times of trials, and judgements where we gain strength I guess.
I remember being told during my Summer of discontent to "remember your journey, you will never do it again." Well, I wasn't going to forget, but I didn't really remember it all to be honest. Out of sight out of mind type of thing, but everything came back
What a time that was, and what an awful time to boot. Then I had to suffer some more things later on. I had to take some stuff from people when their life was too much to deal with. I think those times I was close to understanding. Where you can see a person's pain. You know what?? We are blinded to our own pain many times, because we have a lot of other stuff in us. We have hate, and judgement to the people we don't like. We have day to day life stress, which zaps us a bit. We have anger and stuff to the powers that be for not making life better for us all. We are mad at the people who don't have their SHIT together like we do. Life is busy, and we are bombarded, and if you want to deal with the whole makeup of you, and what your life means you will need help.
The vision to see you... something as simple as that is not within your power. Do you see how weak, and pathetic we as humans are?? We are worthless. Enslaved inside our tiny minds, that we can not even do the little things that need to be done to make us better people.
Many are walking through life with not a single thought inside their head?? All avenues lead nowhere, and someday you will wake up old. Ahhhh the strength of youth. The days when we could do anything. We had the World at our feet.
Well, the World sucks. It is an evil place, and you aren't going to change the power of gravity or the direction the Earth rotates. You will not change this World, and you will not change mankind, and you cannot even change yourself to be the best version of you.
What do you want of life?? I mean really really??? What do you want to accomplish?? Is your life just about you???
questions questions questions. There are answers, and they are not what you think.
So, it is almost 3:00 AM. Looks like I will be able to take the Hopester for a little run before work. I am slow, and still out of shape, but those 6 + milers on Tuesdays and Thursdays will have me on the right track.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. ehhh, I got nothing for a p.s. Guess this will have to do. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Tuesday Always Seems Better Than Monday...
I don't know what it is about Monday. I always feel a lot better about starting Tuesday than I do Monday. Monday should have been good enough, I ran early, biked to work, got really hungry really early, but the day at work dragged, and when 1:00 PM came around I was stoked to be out. It was a nice day, and I had a few things to do around the house. We got the shit done, and relaxed a bit.
Monday ended well, and now I start Tuesday with a much better feeling. I swear that happens most Mondays and Tuesdays. Lisa doesn't close tonight so we have a project to work on after work, and I am running tonight, so it should be a pretty okay day.
Anything else going on?? Nah not really. My life probably on the outside has got to seem pretty dull I bet. I don't really do anything important. Nothing really great, but I am who I am, and my outlook is my outlook. All of who I am is kinda crazy and kinda nutty. You cannot even imagine.
Enough about me though. You know enough about me I think. It is a crazy, and nutty story. I know how people think. There must be a way WE can make US the people we want to be. I have a brain, and I am smart. I can do work, and do this and this. Well, look at yourself. What is the best a person can be. Look at your thoughts. How many of those do you wish you didn't have.? There is a power out there that can change hearts and minds. Wouldn't you want to tap into that??
Look inside yourself at your inner demons. All the things you wish weren't there. Wouldn't you want to tap into the power to make your weaknesses disappear??
Is such a thing possible?? You betcha. It is done not by anything you see, and not done by anything you do.
You know this story. You know how it goes. You know what I have been saying.
The ball is in your court so to speak. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I woke up and saw the Bulls took game 1. ughhhhh Whaaaaaaaaa? The SOX beat KC too. ;)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Monday ended well, and now I start Tuesday with a much better feeling. I swear that happens most Mondays and Tuesdays. Lisa doesn't close tonight so we have a project to work on after work, and I am running tonight, so it should be a pretty okay day.
Anything else going on?? Nah not really. My life probably on the outside has got to seem pretty dull I bet. I don't really do anything important. Nothing really great, but I am who I am, and my outlook is my outlook. All of who I am is kinda crazy and kinda nutty. You cannot even imagine.
Enough about me though. You know enough about me I think. It is a crazy, and nutty story. I know how people think. There must be a way WE can make US the people we want to be. I have a brain, and I am smart. I can do work, and do this and this. Well, look at yourself. What is the best a person can be. Look at your thoughts. How many of those do you wish you didn't have.? There is a power out there that can change hearts and minds. Wouldn't you want to tap into that??
Look inside yourself at your inner demons. All the things you wish weren't there. Wouldn't you want to tap into the power to make your weaknesses disappear??
Is such a thing possible?? You betcha. It is done not by anything you see, and not done by anything you do.
You know this story. You know how it goes. You know what I have been saying.
The ball is in your court so to speak. :)
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I woke up and saw the Bulls took game 1. ughhhhh Whaaaaaaaaa? The SOX beat KC too. ;)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Monday, May 6, 2013
A Lazy Lazy Day...
Good Morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good... I guess. I had an unplanned really lazy day yesterday. First off I watched a very disturbing movie. It was called "The Paperboys" I think. John Cusack, and Mathew McConaughey.
I don't know what disturbed me the most about it. I think Mathew's part was really what did it. He was a gay guy, and they were trying to get a guy off of death row. He got himself tied up and beaten up by two black guys. A sexual romp gone bad. His brother saw him tied up naked, and bloodied after the black guys got done with him. Then later John Cusack slit his throat and another time his brother was there and saw that.
I don't know it was just disturbing, and maybe it was just the way I was yesterday. We then saw Ironman 3. It was good, and we were going to do some stuff around the house, but I felt like a lazy slob, and I didn't want to. Lisa actually did get a lot of stuff done. I hope to be better today after work.
Anyhoooo, I didn't run this weekend, and actually my knee felt a bit wonky anyway, so I will run after this before work.
Anything else going on?? Nah, I was thinking before I got up how ugly life really is. Think about all the things people think about in their quiet times. Priests with boys. Dads with daughters, Grown ups with kids.
I was thinking about this type of stuff, and I was like Yuck.
I don't know, I guess I kinda think life in general is pretty disturbing. A lot of gross stuff out there, and there is murder, and death, and people exploiting people, and well, you know???
Like I said yuck.
With that though, I guess I will get a bit of a run in. I also hope to not be a lazy blob again today.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I probably sometimes seem like a hard ass, but really I just go with the flow. I get angry at times, but seems a lot lately I am indifferent. People can do what they want, and I am mostly cool with it. I think. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
I don't know what disturbed me the most about it. I think Mathew's part was really what did it. He was a gay guy, and they were trying to get a guy off of death row. He got himself tied up and beaten up by two black guys. A sexual romp gone bad. His brother saw him tied up naked, and bloodied after the black guys got done with him. Then later John Cusack slit his throat and another time his brother was there and saw that.
I don't know it was just disturbing, and maybe it was just the way I was yesterday. We then saw Ironman 3. It was good, and we were going to do some stuff around the house, but I felt like a lazy slob, and I didn't want to. Lisa actually did get a lot of stuff done. I hope to be better today after work.
Anyhoooo, I didn't run this weekend, and actually my knee felt a bit wonky anyway, so I will run after this before work.
Anything else going on?? Nah, I was thinking before I got up how ugly life really is. Think about all the things people think about in their quiet times. Priests with boys. Dads with daughters, Grown ups with kids.
I was thinking about this type of stuff, and I was like Yuck.
I don't know, I guess I kinda think life in general is pretty disturbing. A lot of gross stuff out there, and there is murder, and death, and people exploiting people, and well, you know???
Like I said yuck.
With that though, I guess I will get a bit of a run in. I also hope to not be a lazy blob again today.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I probably sometimes seem like a hard ass, but really I just go with the flow. I get angry at times, but seems a lot lately I am indifferent. People can do what they want, and I am mostly cool with it. I think. :)
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Strange...
Good morning all. How's it going?? Me, I am okay I guess. Yesterday's post was a strange one to me, and one I thought a lot about. I don't really know what to make of it.
Anyhoo, that is in the past. Today is another day, and we shall see what it holds. I don't really feel like blogging, but guess I'll get something down.
This blog is strange'ish, but it is here. It is been going on for quite a while. I have used words like trust, and strength, and maybe that was what yesterday was about. Don't underestimate me. Remember all the turns I have made in my life. That should be a warning flag.
I will help and do the little things like support etc... but My life is me, and I am free to be me, and I will do so.
As it happens I read a lot of girl blogs, and maybe that is why I have been using words like trust etc..., because of how this blog works. It does not work without trust. Without trust you can bet I would walk away from anyone. If others walk away from me, this goes on. I don't really need anyone.
That is my strength, and that is why I can make any number of turns. I choose not to though. I choose to help as much as I can, because life is hard. I have told you the path, and I have given you answers. The answers and the path were made known to me. I am not the maker of the path, and none of it was my idea.
You have no idea how strange this little last part of the journey is. How strange I have to be like this huh?? How strange I have such a story made about me.
So yeah, I need and ask a lot of you. Things you would be unwilling, and too scared to do on your own. You will need help, because the things we need to do are scary, because really this World is a pretty awful place, and us as people can be pretty awful too.
There is no denying it. There is a way to a better us, but it isn't easy.
So I have the day off today. We are going to see the Ironman movie, and do some stuff around the house.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I think I will make a cup of coffee.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo
Ya;All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Anyhoo, that is in the past. Today is another day, and we shall see what it holds. I don't really feel like blogging, but guess I'll get something down.
This blog is strange'ish, but it is here. It is been going on for quite a while. I have used words like trust, and strength, and maybe that was what yesterday was about. Don't underestimate me. Remember all the turns I have made in my life. That should be a warning flag.
I will help and do the little things like support etc... but My life is me, and I am free to be me, and I will do so.
As it happens I read a lot of girl blogs, and maybe that is why I have been using words like trust etc..., because of how this blog works. It does not work without trust. Without trust you can bet I would walk away from anyone. If others walk away from me, this goes on. I don't really need anyone.
That is my strength, and that is why I can make any number of turns. I choose not to though. I choose to help as much as I can, because life is hard. I have told you the path, and I have given you answers. The answers and the path were made known to me. I am not the maker of the path, and none of it was my idea.
You have no idea how strange this little last part of the journey is. How strange I have to be like this huh?? How strange I have such a story made about me.
So yeah, I need and ask a lot of you. Things you would be unwilling, and too scared to do on your own. You will need help, because the things we need to do are scary, because really this World is a pretty awful place, and us as people can be pretty awful too.
There is no denying it. There is a way to a better us, but it isn't easy.
So I have the day off today. We are going to see the Ironman movie, and do some stuff around the house.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. I think I will make a cup of coffee.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo
Ya;All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Saturday, May 4, 2013
I Am Just Not That Into You...
Good Morning all. How's it going?? Me?? Well, I am up early. There is a lot of work to do at work. I can work a little overtime, and It is Spring outside, and I have coffee ready.
You would think great, but it could be better. I think I see too much fabulousness, and not enough realness out there. Fabulous means nothing. No points for any of it. There are very very very few points in life. All the things you deem important in the grand scheme of things aren't. If you are fabulous than you can bet I am really just not that into you.
I am into honesty, and things like that. Honesty is like a big ole pile of Shit, and you wanna hide it, but it is all known anyway. Time to take all the layers off, and show the true colors of you. It isn't so bad, and you know what?? You get worse and worse if you hide things. This is the road to recovery. This is the road to Health, and well being. This is good stuff. Put on your fucking big people pants you fucking pussies. :)
I am going to drink some coffee now, and we shall see what happens.
Remember though, as I am now... I am really not all that into you.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Lisa cleaned damn near the whole house yesterday, so I just have to do laundry after work. It is going to be a good day. Oh, I should cut the grass too.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
You would think great, but it could be better. I think I see too much fabulousness, and not enough realness out there. Fabulous means nothing. No points for any of it. There are very very very few points in life. All the things you deem important in the grand scheme of things aren't. If you are fabulous than you can bet I am really just not that into you.
I am into honesty, and things like that. Honesty is like a big ole pile of Shit, and you wanna hide it, but it is all known anyway. Time to take all the layers off, and show the true colors of you. It isn't so bad, and you know what?? You get worse and worse if you hide things. This is the road to recovery. This is the road to Health, and well being. This is good stuff. Put on your fucking big people pants you fucking pussies. :)
I am going to drink some coffee now, and we shall see what happens.
Remember though, as I am now... I am really not all that into you.
That is it for today!!! :)
Thanks for reading!!! :)
Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!! :)
xo's!!! :)
Love You All!!! :)
p.s. Lisa cleaned damn near the whole house yesterday, so I just have to do laundry after work. It is going to be a good day. Oh, I should cut the grass too.
Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now for really really cya cya cya :D :D
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Well, I Am Up Anyway...
Hello, I am up, so I guess I will do this thing. I am a bit irritated, edgy, crabby, you name it. Why I don't know. You know when you have one of those days where you just hate people??
Yeah one of those.
I had a couple people irritate me at the local lumberyard. Some guy wanted something put in the garden center so he wouldn't have to walk to get it. Saying, "I suggest you put it here, I don't like to walk"
I thought who the fuck says that?? I told him, "It is a big store, you will have to do some walking."
Some old fumbling guy was right where I needed to be. Shaking all over the place, he had a walker. I waited patiently for the 15 minutes it took him to get his Menards credit card that charges probably 20% interest out of his wallet, and put his wallet back in his pocket. He turned around looked at me standing and said, "Are you on the clock" he then laughed.
I though you old piece of shit, I am waiting to put some shit away while your slow ass is fucking around you stupid fucker.
Then the smartest of the bunch was an old lady. She needed hose washers. She grabbed what she needed, and looked at all the hoses, and sprinklers. She goes. "At 87 years old how much of this stuff do I need now?? "
BAM!! Hit the fucking nail on the head. You need none of it. The old fucker should be walking, and why did the guy who can't even walk have a credit card for anyway??
So, life is really fucking dumb. Society is like the silliest stupidest fucking thing in the World. People go on and on and on though. What I do is important. My life is important, and I am doing good.
Newsflash. NOPE!! You are doing no good. Your life still is dumb, and it only leads to one place.
Do you ever think of that?? We are headed to one final destination, and all the stuff we spend our time on... no matter how fabulous you think you and what you do is. it amounts to nothing.
The 87 year old lady was so much closer to the truth than anyone I have seen in quite a while.
People get wrapped up in some stupid stupid shit. Missing out on life.
Oh well, have fun going back to whatever stupid grind you normally do.
Sounds fun, and seems really fascinating.... NOT
Later.
Yeah one of those.
I had a couple people irritate me at the local lumberyard. Some guy wanted something put in the garden center so he wouldn't have to walk to get it. Saying, "I suggest you put it here, I don't like to walk"
I thought who the fuck says that?? I told him, "It is a big store, you will have to do some walking."
Some old fumbling guy was right where I needed to be. Shaking all over the place, he had a walker. I waited patiently for the 15 minutes it took him to get his Menards credit card that charges probably 20% interest out of his wallet, and put his wallet back in his pocket. He turned around looked at me standing and said, "Are you on the clock" he then laughed.
I though you old piece of shit, I am waiting to put some shit away while your slow ass is fucking around you stupid fucker.
Then the smartest of the bunch was an old lady. She needed hose washers. She grabbed what she needed, and looked at all the hoses, and sprinklers. She goes. "At 87 years old how much of this stuff do I need now?? "
BAM!! Hit the fucking nail on the head. You need none of it. The old fucker should be walking, and why did the guy who can't even walk have a credit card for anyway??
So, life is really fucking dumb. Society is like the silliest stupidest fucking thing in the World. People go on and on and on though. What I do is important. My life is important, and I am doing good.
Newsflash. NOPE!! You are doing no good. Your life still is dumb, and it only leads to one place.
Do you ever think of that?? We are headed to one final destination, and all the stuff we spend our time on... no matter how fabulous you think you and what you do is. it amounts to nothing.
The 87 year old lady was so much closer to the truth than anyone I have seen in quite a while.
People get wrapped up in some stupid stupid shit. Missing out on life.
Oh well, have fun going back to whatever stupid grind you normally do.
Sounds fun, and seems really fascinating.... NOT
Later.
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