Saturday, December 31, 2016

Some Things You Don't Expect.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am fine. Today is New Years Eve. Typically I give myself a 5% chance of staying up til midnight on these days. I never stay up til midnight. I may wake up for the day at midnight, but not the other way around. Last night??  I stayed up til midnight watching the football game.

Throw all the rules out.  :)  I kept thinking one more drive, and I am going to bed. It didn't look good for MI, but they made a game of it, and it was exciting.

So that's that. Today I have to work a bit. There is a little shin dig at the bakery I may stop by. Depends how I feel after work. That's about it. I have all of tomorrow off, and back to my routine. Next day off for me probably is Memorial Day.

Also I don't really find time to do a lot of reading, so I've been doing audio books. I got the 2nd Game Of Thrones checked out. I think they have most  of those to listen to for free from our library.

That's about it for me. Nothing too exciting going on here. I guess tomorrow we start a New Year, and on Monday I'll be in my full routine.

What will this year have??  Probably not much. It is just life you know. We pile up the days in our little lives.  One after another. One day they all end though. The truth of life is more apparent if we look to the end. Not the day to day of whatever it is we fill our time with.

Anyways I woke up early enough so I wrote a little.

Nothing too terribly important. Maybe that is what this year will be like.  My stupid little life.  I think all the prior ones were too.  :)

I'm gonna call it a day. 

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

Thursday, December 29, 2016

For Whom The Bell Tolls.

Why in the World would anyone use that as a title for their book??  I read that book. It was okay. That guy was always drinking wine if I remember. I think it was a sad ending, but don't really remember. I believe it was a time where I wanted to read every book in the World. All the classics, and every History book. I did achieve that goal BTW. ;)

Today I slept in a bit. Midway after my early alarm, but before my late alarm. It is why I am doing this even though I got nothing really on my mind.

Yesterday was pretty okay. I wasn't tired when i got home,  and I cleaned up the kitchen. I also made dinner. Steak fajitas. I haven't been to the Mexican store in a while. It was a day not unlike many others. I have a cup of coffee,  and I feel pretty good.

As far as blogging goes, for the people I see I am the only one who really does it. Like most people I have nothing important or exciting to blog about. I know that to be the case though. It doesn't bug me. I can trust what will come out of my heart I guess.

It seems there is less and less of me. Eventually all this runs out I guess. Not sure how all that plays out. It seems blogging was a part of this story,  but no one does it really,  so maybe not. Either way not a big deal.

It isn't my story. What does it say, faith believes all things,  hopes all things,  and endures all things.

You'll find believes all things can take you down many roads. Probably bad ones too if the voices aren't good ones. I didn't exactly have a good voice in me during my bad Summer. A Summer of learning. To think I'll never have to do that again.

What is your story??   We don't know. We don't know you. As a person you've been poisoned by the World,   you do this and that because. Not yet facing the tough questions. We all are born into this World. We do whatever our society kinda leads us to do.

I threw everything out decades ago. Why should my future be tied to anyone else?  I decided to stand alone. I kinda went into the wild sorta,  without the travel. I think I looked for a meaning to life,  and at some point realized there was none. Nothing really important to do. Nothing real significant. I had a life before me, and i saw my end.

The answer for me was if there is some reason I am here, let me do that instead of anything else. (The turn) 

You'll find my purpose was not a job or a career. My life's purpose is my story. I eventually achieve stuff although not much can be seen currently. My story was to learn. I was to suffer to see the truth of life. My story is different than any other,  but I follow the path others before me have. That part is hidden kinda. Hidden,  because the path is impossible. It isn't ours to make. The path is written,  but none believe it. Why??  In a World we control,  in a life we are the decision makers,  the truth suggests you are not in control.  The decisions you make don't take you on a better path.

In a World we are all powerful,  the truth suggests you are not. In a World where you are close to omniscient you aren't.

In a World where you are arrogant you should be far from that. In your World your heart isn't right. It is out of your power to change it either.

Soooo

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I think I'll drive to work, and maybe see the Star Wars movie after.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D      :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.   :)

The end.  :)

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Finishing Up This Year.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  I guess I am fine. I didn't really feel like getting up to blog,  but I realized before my alarm went off I was done sleeping.

So I guess I'll try to do this. Yesterday I was back to work,  and back to my routine. I'd have to say I like my routine better than taking days off. Monday was okay, cuz I got all the laundry done,  folded, and put away. All the dishes done too. The house was clean,  but the kitchen is already trashed this morning.

Yesterday was pretty normal. Nothing significant or exciting happened at all. Kinda like this blog really.

I guess life continues to go on. People continue to die. Been that way forever. I guess our generation is the first to have social networking so now people realize it more, cuz they see it more. People pretend to care more too. Surprised this stuff happens.

We were talking about people getting older last week. You talk about people who were famous in the late 70s and 80's,  and they have aged. I thought about that a while,  and realized I am 50. Closer and closer to the end line.

What are the important and significant things I've done in my life. Perhaps a list :

1.

That's it. Another easy list for me.  :)

We all are in the same boat there. Not sure if anyone knows it. Perhaps not. Perhaps this shit actually means something to people. More likely they think it does.

Solomon did all kindsa shit. His bucket list was overflowing with all the things he did. He found out later how dumb that was. When your hearts are right your life will boil down to eat, drink, and be merry. For me it is work,  eat, sleep.

In the end you won't need to accomplish anything,  cuz there is nothing to accomplish.

There will still be holidays and birthdays,  engagements,  and anniversaries. Eventually you'll place no more importance in them,  because they are just another day in your life.

A life fulfilled is different than you think. It comes from how your heart is,  and we are not born with a proper one. It actually is something that is out of reach.

I've been given the impossible task to help people along that route. I guess as my whole life past the turn is impossible,  so is my job.

Like I learned way long ago, it is out of my hands. I am kinda on the sidelines seeing how it plays out. I also am interested in less and less things.

I do get to work today. There will be a dinner. I slept good last night too, so today is shaping up already. :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I think I'll take the Hopester. I am going to return movies. I bet it is around 2 miles there and back.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

The end.   :)

Monday, December 26, 2016

The Year In Review.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am doing good. I had a really lazy day yesterday. I just watched movies on Netflix all day. We ate a dinner. I don't really get to do that ever. It will be nice to have a normal day today. It too is a day off.

I thought I'd do a little year in review,  because not much really happened this year. Not much of a review.

In this blog it appears the wilderness came out. The area of life where people don't matter. We serve no purpose here, and in the end we don't matter. 

All along we were taught we are important. Our lives matter. That is the World's teaching though. That goes against the truth.

That's about it as far as this year goes. I have a pretty set schedule that will see me working most days this upcoming year. That is fine with me. Yesterday I had a day off and didn't do shit.

This blog has gone on for several years. This year was okay I'd say. If I woke up on time I tried to blog. Some days I had absolutely nothing come out.

I stayed active biking and running. Even at the end of the year actually tried to get better. Fast for me as they say.

That's about it in a nutshell. Nothing is too terribly important to me. I work,  eat, sleep. Hope to have a good day every day. My dinner is important,  and my sleep is important. Working gives my life structure, cuz otherwise I can be a lazy ass.

For a long time I've known my last thing I must do as the current version of me. I've known that part for probably approaching 3 decades. It hasn't changed. 3 times I must overcome,  and 2 times its been done. Since the start of this blog here, which is approaching 1800 entries. I didn't know your purpose though.

Now I think your purpose is to go through the wilderness to see the truth of life. We are here a few years, and we die. We didn't live a perfect life. Any of us. Most people attach themselves to a group,  and call themselves good enough. You bet the whole farm on that.

In the wilderness nothing really matters. You get no points for having a family. Everyone does. You get no points for having kids, cuz that has been done forever. Points come from hard things. Points come from dealing with the truth. The wilderness helps you see it.

I have no idea what this upcoming year will be like. A lot of people hide and try to disappear. That is your choice. I still do what I do.

So I guess that's it. 

I don't feel like typing call that other stuff.

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

Have a good one.   :)

Saturday, December 24, 2016

A Break.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. It's been a busy week. Every holiday in the bakery business is busy. Christmas is ridiculous. You just cannot make enough stuff. You never realize how much work goes into baking. I am approaching 2 years now,  so getting to know it more. Personally what I do every day I had a ton of help this week. Typically my job is a one man job,  but the brothers stepped in and helped me a ton.

It will be a good holiday for their business, and still you can't help but  think we could have made more. Pretty crazy.

Anyhoo I have not run since Tuesday. I pretty much decided to wait til this week was over. My hours were getting longer,  and I started sleeping later and later. I work today,  and I have the next two days off.

Also I do not really sacrifice any days. I always expect to have a good dinner, and a few hours of downtime to just chill. So this week had prime rib, lasagna, we got some take out one night. I don't remember what else,  but every day was still good. Still fun.

That's kinda what you want of life. Do the labor required of you, and have fun for a bit after. If lucky the labor you do is fun, and you feel like you accomplished something.

To win life your heart has to be right. I won life. It is quite a long story. I don't need to rehash it. I know I have some things you don't have. I've been how I am quite a long time, and that puts a disconnect between you and I.

I don't know what that means for you. For me, I am not worried about me. My future is certain. I know my path. I can live out my days as I do now forever. This shit is easy for me.

Maybe eventually what I do is wear you down. You keep seeing me, and maybe you wonder if you are missing something.

You are,  but you cannot know what. Reason for that is you cannot know how I am. The shoes I walk in you cannot know.  The path I took is blocked,  save one turn.

Been that way a while.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. today should be a good day.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D        :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.   :)

The end.  :)

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

A Little Luck.

So, I biked to work and back yesterday. The temps were going to warm up finally. Hit 30°+ probably,  so I thought it might be a nice ride home. I didn't count on the  1000 MPH winds, and the drifting on the sidewalks. The ride home was not easy.

I was hoping I'd get a text cancelling the run. I could easily have blown it off. It never came,  so I relaxed/napped for an hour. I was running late, cuz I had to get gas in the truck.

Anyway, I made it to the run. I was in the store looking for the short plumber, and I didn't see him. I was basically at a run with a bunch of people I didn't know. They were just waiting. Some were going to run a route, and others the snow melt. I just took off.

I had a route I thought of last week, and I ran it. It wasn't a particularly fast run, but it was the distance I predicted it would be. Normally I would have run a loop on the snow melt to get the total distance I wanted, but I was glad I got the run in. I didn't want to on my way home from work,  so that's a win.

Other than that not much going on. Being in the wilderness is pretty trippy from where I stand. You can list out all the things you can possibly see,  and pretty much check off {doesn't matter} on everything.

I work,  eat, sleep for zero points. Just living my life before me. People want to sometimes show significant things in their life, but they aren't. We just spend a little time above ground. Carving out our little lives. We do this imperfectly. Many have an idea of what a good and decent person does,  so they try to do that.

Check it all off. It doesn't matter. Your deeds do nothing. I don't know if you can see it or accept it.

Your hearts betray you,  cuz they aren't perfect. The timeline of your life isn't perfect. Every turn you made took you down another path of imperfection.

The question you must ask is does it matter?   My answer to you is yes it does. Does it matter you are not the best a person can be? 

Yes that does matter. Your truth falls well short of the absolute truth. That too is a danger.

On your perceived road to Sainthood, you ended up somewhere way different. Now you find yourself in the wilderness, and trapped.

There is nothing of value in the wilderness, and you just run in place.

You are here in your life,  and in the end we don't even matter.

Now I've been through the wilderness. With the full force of condemnation laying over my head. I knew I was there though. I knew what was at stake.

If I tried thinking of some redeeming quality I might have had, it didn't make me feel better.

I just carried my truth. As far as creatures go, I am as ridiculous as the beasts in the field. Alive for no real reason really.

I ended up with a purpose,  but I still am nothing significant. Just a vessel being used. Being used while being imperfect,  cuz it has to be this way. Faithful with unrighteous mammon and all, so I can eventually get the good stuff.

Anyways. I guess that's good.

I may go for a short run since I got time.

Laterzzzzzz.    :)

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Some Days...

Some days you wake up with nothing on your mind. That is me today.

Yesterday was pretty okay. Work went fine. Not a terribly long day like I feared. I drove to work,  so I picked up a prime rib to make for dinner. It is always pretty cheap around Christmas time. We also put up a wall mount microwave range hood thingy. They aren't really easy to put in. Lisa figured most of the technical stuff of how to do it, and it is in.

I suck at wanting to do house shit. I can do stuff, I just don't like to.  Add another day down. Another one just starting.

So, what are my plans??  To work,  eat, sleep. Tonight is a run night. I plan on being mostly happy. Mostly upbeat,  cuz I can.

Maybe something strange about me is if I look back on my life I am cool with it. No need for me to strive after wind. Nothing I am chasing. I live my days fulfilled I guess. I wake up most/every morning with a lot of energy.

I am not perfect,  but we all can say that. I know my life, and what it's about. I dealt with me though. I know me through and through. That is where you and I differ. You don't know yourself too well. You are not sure what is inside you that makes you less of what you want to be.

You also don't know why every day isn't groundhogs day for you. Why do you not wake up every day feeling the same way? Well rested with a lot of energy to start the day.

I know relationships aren't perfect. They never are. As we are a bundled up mess of imperfection with mood changes, so is everyone else. Some people may not give a fuck about what you think is so important.

It is life. The World tries to dress it up as this great thing. Life is dirty though. Filled with anger, lust, judging. It is filled with people who think their minds are these great things, and that is the biggest obstacle probably.

The truth of life is hidden from you. Impossible for you to see. It isn't given to those who don't take the right steps. You just remain the creature you were born as.

That matters. You don't want to stay on the path of the multitudes. They have no idea what they are doing.

You don't either,  but you can. It is all right in front of you. To learn about yourself is to learn about others. We all fail. So much is out of our control. I imagine most think much is in our control.

Anyway. I guess that's good.

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

Monday, December 19, 2016

There Is A Weekend.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me,  I am doing good. I just had another weekend. Not really much happened. We went shopping on Saturday. Had lunch,  came home and did nothing. I had some drinks, went to bed early, and woke up early to go to work.

They are working extra at my Sunday job, so we can't get into all the areas. I guess that is to go on for a couple months.

I listened to another book,  and checked another one out. There is a 4th story to the girl with the dragon tattoo series. I didn't know that so I checked it out. The author is dead so another author used the notes to write it.

This week should be busy cuz of the holidays. I will have days off the next two Sundays too.

My life goes on. There ain't much to it. I think the best thing about a Monday is it is a new start.  A new week.

You know what??  I pretty much got nothing. Normally I'd delete,  but it don't matter.

The more you get to know yourself though the more I would think people would want walls. If we showed people our less than perfect side what would happen??

None of us carved out a perfect life, cuz it isn't possible. How do you feel about that?   No amount of manipulation will change it either.

I know my ridiculous self. I suppose you are the same,  cuz we all are pretty ridiculous. We dress up our lives though,  because?? 

To be human is to be pretty ridiculous. We break unwritten rules in our heart all the time.

I Spose I'll relax a bit before work.

Add all those things I usually write at the end.  :)

Laterzzzzzz.  :)

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Good Thing It Is Only December

My long run this week looks like it will be scratched. We got a good amount of snow last night, and the roads, and sidewalks won't be plowed. I'll run, but probably not terribly long. It might be quite the effort to get a 3 miler in. We'll see.   Lisa and I have plans after work, so I can't run then. I may pick up a run Sunday or Monday. I can easily add miles Tuesday too, cuz I wait around to run. Also it is only December so not the end of the World.

I could run on the snow melt, but Hope wants a run I am sure. I neglect her when it is in the teens with high winds. I like to come home,  and stay warm.

Yesterday was pretty normal. Work,  eat, sleep. I didn't ride my bike to work just cuz. I picked up some groceries after.

I did fall asleep really early last night. I am up early today though,  and that is the way I like it anyway.

Yesterday was probably one of those doozy ones. The funny thing of life is you have no idea what you got yourself into.

At work people are always talking about stories of the Ark. How did they fit all the animals in?  Was the  Earth repopulate by incest?? 

I don't know all these things. One thing I know is no one fights Wars for God. He doesn't need a human's help. Those who think they fight and kill for him will be in for a shock.

The question for the atheist is how did the World get populated?   What makes us smarter than the dust and ashes we turn into?? 

I wouldn't argue about time frames, because a day is as a 1000 years. On the 7th day he rested, and that day has not come yet. We're still on day 6 I guess.

I was thinking earlier a sword is just a view of what is right,  and what is wrong. We all carry one of those. We do it poorly too. There is the other sword that is pretty much useless without understanding. Those who live by the sword die by the sword,  so those who go to Church are taught wrong things. Bible studies are useless. They won't save you, and they won't make you better.

Churches kick people out with their bad teaching. Everyone is allowed in the fold. No one is perfect. Gay people are welcome, murderers, adulterers, thiefs. You name it.

The religious will have the toughest time, cuz they think they are right. Judgers too, because they have themselves placed on a pedestal.

The way is for the humble. The ones who know they might not be the best person,  but they'd like to be. The ones who seek for a purpose to their existence.

To be human is to be wrong. It is to fall short. It is to be arrogant in ways. We believe we are smart, but our understanding is very low. Our hearts give people a hierarchy,  so we have heroes. We falsely believe life is about such and such,  because our hearts are wrong.

Remember way back when people are always trying to show their worth,  and the story is really someone is willing to increase yours as a person. You have to come to him though,  and that is pretty frightening really.

I've been accepted though. My fear is no longer, cuz I am exposed. I can be seen. Inside me is light, because I am mostly spirit.

The log that blocks everyone's vision has been removed. A long time ago. It is how I know it is very dark in you. Hard to see inside.

Anyhoooo, Hope and I have to run. It will be slow,  and probably short,  but it will be a good workout though. It should be fun.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. Nothing again.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D        :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

The end.   :)

Friday, December 16, 2016

This Thing Can Be Hard.

I really don't have too much to put on this thing. Yesterday I deleted,  and tried to sleep more.

What's to say??  I am just living my little life here. I work, I eat, and I sleep. My heart really doesn't want too much of life, because there really isn't much here.

What is there to accomplish in life?  Yesterday I ran. When the temps are in the teens it is nice to have someone to run with. Jerry and I got out for around 4-1/2 miles. I gauge how fast I am by my easy pace. I am still not fast, but my easy pace is going in the right direction.  It is a long process of run run run, and hopefully stay healthy.

Sometimes in this World you'll see people want to change it. Be anti war and shit like that. A view to this World is pretty ugly. When you put a bunch of imperfect people in a World with many Countries things don't come out perfect.

You seek out a voice of reason, and there are none. Everyone's mind is clouded with imperfection. Our upbringing isn't perfect. Our Country isn't perfect. Our learning isn't perfect. You can read a ton of books. But that is shit coming from people just like you.

The sword won't make you perfect either. The story is one of reconciliation really. Us dealing with our lives. Everybody has some kind of silly sword they carry. I am married. I had kids. I do this,  and that.

In the end I think fear is important. We are imperfect people,  and that matters. If we look at our life in a mirror maybe we don't want people to see everything.

I know very few people. I know most/all think they are on good ground. All have baggage. The religions of the World teach some garbage. The World teaches garbage.

Everyone is out to prove they are good enough kinda. You can be better, but you need help.

I have reconciled myself as this imperfect person who cannot be perfect on my own.

The story is about acceptance. It also goes past that. Currently I stand like Adam before the fall. One came though, and taught a way that went further. In the end few will make that whole path. The World is powerful. False messages are plentiful.

The people's biggest mistake is they think they are all that. There is a powerful arrogant side to all. There also is a humble little kid too inside us all. The little kid has to win.

The David inside you has to beat your Goliath. How do you propose that happens?? 

The sword blocks the way. That won't save you. Your sacrifices won't save you. Your labors won't save you. How do you propose to make a better heart for you?

It is through forgiveness and reconciliation,  but Goliath isn't scared. He is arrogant,  and puts his faith in his might.

You are screwed. No way out.

You ain't getting any better either. We are in the wilderness now too, and I don't give a fuck about much.

Well see what today brings. I'll have a day, and it should be good. Work, and then a nice meal.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. Nothing.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D      :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Running And Biking.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going???  My first sentence is me being polite. I really don't give a fuck if you have a good morning or not. As a matter of fact if people have a bad morning and bitch about it I might find that funny.

Amyway, as we in MI have found ourselves in the midst of some nice winter weather I'd  like to tell you about the difference between biking and running. Not that I have it nailed or anything. When biking wind is the death of you when it's cold. Bundle up. I bundled up on my way to work,  and overheated.

Last night I ran in teen degree weather with a good wind. My running in cold temps is two wicking shirts, and a running jacket. Also biking shorts under my pants so my penis doesn't freeze. That actually happened once. Horrible. I was drenched after my run last night. Running generates a ton of heat.   I even took off my jersey gloves a couple times while running cuz my hands were too warm.

On a day where I thought it was too cold to do shit, I was plenty warm to do shit. Ya kinda have to acclimate to winter, and then you can get along.

Also I always bring a change of shirt and jacket if I drive to a run. I sweat a lot, and I'd freeze if I stayed in my sweaty wet clothes. Being active in the winter is a pretty fun thing.

I stay up late too if I run at night. That's fine, but I may get tired at some point today.

I guess yesterday was another day. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. got nothing.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.   :)

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

This May Be Nothing.

Good morning. I am up. Gonna try to do this, but I have nothing really on my mind. It may get deleted.

Yesterday I had a day. It was like others before it. Nothing really crazy happened. Worked a long day, which is pretty normal this time of year. I wasn't sure what to do for dinner, so I made chicken noodle soup. I slept good last night. I needed it. Thought about sleeping in, but I got up.

I didn't really think of anything too important yesterday. Nothing particularly interesting either. It seems at any point in time I can look inside myself and think... life, I got this...

It really isn't me in all honesty. My internals were changed long ago. It wasn't always as it is now. That Summer way back when my internals were nothing but fear. Terror really. I was poor in spirit and basically at the mercy of all. I knew some true shit about life. I was shown it. I knew it, cuz I lived it.

Even when I first started blogging I had hard fear filled days. A lot of internal persecution not done by me. When I overcame the 2nd time everything was done. The blessing I received way back when finally took hold. I was secure, and I was confident. No one can do anything to me.

I can care,  or be indifferent. That depends on the person too.

I was under the impression stuff was still going to get done,  but it was your stuff. You'd have to go on your own personal journey. One you can't see, and one you cannot do without help.

As far as I can tell you didn't want to. You mapped out your own 5 and 10 year plans. You set out to make your mark in this World. Greatness was yours in the waiting.

Or something...  I don't really know. I know where I stand, and I know my story. I thought maybe we might get to know yours. I guess not. So where does that put us??

Like I said I know where I stand. You I don't. I know my story. How it is to play out. Yours we don't know.

The World is a pretty busy place. Without help we will never get to your story, cuz your eyes will be blind to it. All avenues lead to more busyness. None of the avenues lead to perfection save one. The rest everyone labors in vain. All avenues are a dead end.

Life should have come with a manual huh?   The garden of eden is surrounded by 4 great swords. None is smart enough to beat the swords. I entered by overcoming the 2nd time. It was the race of life. I won that race, and it was the author who did it for me.

I am a vessel along for the ride. It was a hard and scary ride, but it's done,  save that last thing.

Anyway. Have fun decorating stuff for Christmas, and shopping, and whatever else you folks do this time of year.  I have another day I am going to have. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  starting my new plan of mandatory runs on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH. :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D        :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

Monday, December 12, 2016

To Be Reckless

Hello, and good morning. I am up early,  cuz I have to shovel. We got a good amount of snow yesterday.

I was thinking about being reckless before I got up. Just living life with no worries. I don't try to manipulate events and people to some type of end. Who can??  I sorta fly by the seat of my pants,  and don't worry about anything.

Being a person in this big World is a hard thing. For one thing ingrained in us all is some type of idea of how we are "supposed" to be. That is different for everyone. Different Country different "supposed" to be. Our ideas are all flawed anyway.

In this way I am different than you. I don't worry about my future. I don't worry about anything really. My future is mapped out, and that must seem crazy. Yep, pretty much no way to make you understand that at all.

You are a product of your upbringing. A product of society. A product of your less than perfect self. I too am imperfect, but I am a product currently of other things. The World is your master, and it isn't mine.

Your life is hard. You being you is horrible. I don't know why you would want to do it.

At this stage I cannot imagine what you think about. You want to manipulate events toward your perfect life? 

It ain't happening. You are a little person in this shitty World. You try and find meaning I guess, but there isn't any.

Those who have kids, you made your life harder. Not easier, or better. Harder. It "seems" that is what we all were supposed to do though huh? 

What we all were supposed to actually do is hidden. It always was. The answer did come,  but the message got lost. I was raised up from nothing to bring it back.

Just a messenger. I ain't anything special. I know where I stand, and what my story is.

My path was for me. I was in it for myself. As it so happens my hardest trials were me sacrificing myself for others. Laying down my life for my friends as it were.

I am imperfect though so I still am in it for me. My final trial will be much the same as the others. I just go where perfection is made. A sword perfected by fire.

Then my sword will be good to use too. The World will be pretty crazy then. For one I will have understanding. Also the one trapped in me will no longer be trapped in me. So he will do bad things I reckon. I don't know how those days will look. I will be the best a person can be though. The World will hate me too. I'll be it's enemy. I already am, but it doesn't know it yet.

Anyway, I guess I better shovel.

Have a good one. :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. not sure how the roads are. I'll probably have to drive.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Saturday, December 10, 2016

So Many Things To Talk About.

Just kidding.  :)

I did try to blog yesterday. I got a paragraph done, and it was dumb. Dumber than usual. It was going nowhere either, so I deleted it and relaxed.

Winter came this week. The temps aren't horrible yet, but the wind is a bear. I had running gloves on biking home one day, and my hands froze. The cold kinda psyched me out. I drove the next day, and yesterday I figured I better put on my big boy pants and acclimate myself to this. I bundled up, and rode. I didn't run Thursday,  so I had to run last night. I am not worried about doubling up on runs now, cuz we are running on snow.

We went out to a local pizza place for dinner. I had their veggie sandwich. I've said it before,  but it is great. I am not a vegetarian at all, but I'll order that thing in a second. Lisa had nachos. The two bartenders remembered us. I rarely sit at a bar anymore,  but I used to go there once in a while. If I want to sit and have drinks, I am happy to do it at home.

That is about it. Nothing exciting going on in my life. Nothing exciting going on in anyone else's either. This is what life is.

Here is something. My run was a struggle yesterday. I was just making myself do it. You know some days you just want to run?  It's not work,  it is play really.

Why isn't our mind always feeling like it is play?  

Why can't we control our minds so our days are always done in the most positive light?  Why do we not control ourselves? 

Say you do things for years and years. You may think it is right and worth a lot cuz you've done it for years and years. What if in the long run it really doesn't mean shit? 

When life's decisions were being made my life was just about to start. Free to do as I choose,  and every direction open.

Life pulled. I wanted to matter yes. I wanted to make a difference too. In my search for a meaningful life I found there wasn't any. The only recourse I had was a turn.

So there. My life to that point really meant nothing. Society brought me up, as it is known to do, but in my turn I found another teacher. I was raised up, only to be broken. My path was hard. A hard solo journey. I made it though. I made it to the other side. Only one thing left which is out of my control. Dates and times are not mine to make.

Many of you on the other hand have lived a life. Several years of such and such. Can you ask the tough question?  

What if my life and all my deeds mean nothing?  

Then what?

Afraid of the truth?? 

Good,  cuz it sure isn't any joke.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I am kinda cheating today. I am using yesterday and today as my long run, so not going horribly long today.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Reflecting Back

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?   Me, I am doing good. I am up,  so I thought I'd do this. I was kinda thinking what to write, and I have no idea.

Yesterday was a pretty uneventful day. I worked,  got some stuff done around the house. Prepped tonight's dinner for the slow cooker. I met up for my Tuesday night run. I guess are local running store does a Tuesday run. We did that. I ran with Jerry. I ended up with 4 miles. Mile 1 was just me alone. 2-4 were at 9:05-9:06 pace. That didn't budge at all. That surprised me.

It is faster than I normally run now,  and I could tell. My legs wanted to go at that pace though. My lungs have to catch up. Ideally I'd like to see 8:40'ish be my easy pace.

Well see. I pretty much plan on running Tuesday and Thursday nights now. It will be with company so that's good. Saturday long runs will be with Hope.  I'll have to pick up a speed day, but that will be after the holidays.  I still don't know where this leads. Hopefully some races this year.

Other than that not much on my mind at all. I am having a coffee,  and I may take Hope now. If not I'll take her later. Maybe take her twice. Undecided.

As you can see I pretty much got nothing today. Like us all I guess.

If we take a true fact. None of us are the best a person can be. What do you do about it??

What steps correct that?   How much is it worth for you to correct it?? 

If the most important thing in life is to deal with our little problem we all have. What does anything else matter?

We have to live so we work,  eat, sleep. There still is the elephant in the room though.

I've dealt with that little problem, and took the right steps to correct it. On my side it will be done. The rest of you have to deal with you.

It is why everything is pretty silly,  cuz the most important thing no one deals with.

That is kinda crazy no??

Anyway, I am planning on having another day.

Have fun.  :)

xoxo. :)

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Let Go

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I thought I'd sleep in again today,  but I guess I am up.

Not much really going on with me. Yesterday was a pretty good day. My Monday was longer than normal,  but Christmas is coming up, so all days can be longer. I am doing my part to finally win this long,  drawn out War, on X-mas.  ;)

Anyway my title is let go, cuz that is kinda what I thought about yesterday at work. I was having a day. Not a concern on my mind at all. Just a nice path laid before me. I can do as I choose,  and good will come from it.

I don't have to outsmart the World. I don't have to manipulate people to make ends come out the way I want them. Who is that smart anyway? 

As to questions of me I am not perfect. An imperfect vessel that has no fear of my imperfections. Throughout the decades we all have lived a life. An imperfect life. I at a young age went a different way. What seems so hard back then,  seems so easy now.

I didn't know the future. I didn't know my story that was being made. When I thought I was the best a person can be, I was going to do so many good things.

I found out relatively quickly I wasn't the best a person can be. Now I know I can do nothing. It all has to be done for me. Points were not mine to make, but I needed points.

All sacrifices, and labor are done in vain. To be alive is to feel invincible kinda. To labor is to feel like you are doing something. Our hearts we cannot control,  and they aren't great.

Life is about so much more than what we can do. The truth of our existence is there is nothing of value we can do. We do stuff within this World. The deeds we must do you don't even know.

As long as I've been doing this we were supposed to make progress. We haven't yet. I think part of the problem is people want to show their greatness. We aren't. Life is here to break the few. Many can get the message,  but few will act.

The wilderness is here to set the record straight.

No one really cares. I assume nothing these days, cuz that too is just a strength of me.

This story will be played out. Not by me manipulating events. I can't do that. In the end I am just a messenger. Speaking a message that isn't mine. This isn't my story. I went after a different coin decades ago.

Like I said it seemed so hard all this time. These days it's easy. 

Anyhoooo

Have a good one.  :)

xoxoxoxoxo.  :)

Saturday, December 3, 2016

The Freedom Of Winter.

One thing you can say about winter is if you have to do a long run it don't matter when you do it. I was tired last night, and every time I woke up I was worried about time. Do I have enough time before work?  I'd fall back asleep,  and now I am just going to run after work. Weather is always probably best in the early afternoon anyway.

That is an easy decision. Pretty sure that was about it on my mind besides some work stuff. We are about to hit a pretty crazy busy time. It should be fun kinda. Plus I've done it one year already too,  so I know what to expect.

Anyway we know this person. Everyone can see his life is about to fall over a cliff. This person is selfish kinda cuz people who count on him are the ones who suffer the most.

When life turns to shit you still have to work right??  What good is it to be homeless??  There is a new born involved too.

In life sometimes you find people who take take take. Maybe those lives need to fall over a cliff to find a better smarter way.

You see potential sorta,  but you lose trust. Eventually you were acquainted at one time with someone you cannot count on.

Their life is about to go over a cliff. I have no idea where that tragic story ends.  Probably not good. You just let it go.  They make their own mistakes, and they live with the consequences.

It seems in this case you view as an objective viewer, and at some point when you lose trust, when you see in the long run they will just screw people you let them go.

You lose no sleep over it, cuz you really can't save people from their own mistakes. Especially when you cannot really trust their honesty.

Anyways that's a story about a guy at work. A girl he got knocked up, and a baby with a bleak future. A bleak future for them all really.

What gets me most is I have a good job. The people treat me great. He has a good job too, and the people treat him great, and he threw it all away... Probably.

I didn't want to talk about it on here cuz some may read it, but it is true shit about life.

We will not save people from their actions, and really we cannot see enough of the future to know where their path leads anyway.

As for me,  I am not worried about my future. It is in good hands. I worry about my running a bit, cuz I am switching from my plan a bit. I saw a guy at the race I used to run with. They run on Tuesdays, and I am going to start doing that with them. I worry about jumping up to more than 3 days. I am worried about speed work. I didn't do it this week. My legs were kinda tight. It rained a lot last week. My legs felt great yesterday on my short run, so I expect a good run today.

Anyways life goes on. I continue to work,  I continue to eat, and I continue to sleep. I continue to run too.

Now I am finishing my coffee. I think I'll take Hope for a little walk, even though she will get a 10 mile run in this afternoon.

Have a good one.  :)

Friday, December 2, 2016

A Different Week.

This week has been different. I drove to work a lot. Monday I was tired. Yesterday I slept as late as I could. Our house is a mess. Life can get crazy sometimes.

You can plan all you want, but shit will always get messed up. Say you always want to have the dishes done, but you are tired, and you don't give a fuck.

That is one thing you cannot plan on. Those times when your plans say you should be doing such and such, but inside you don't give a fuck about that today.

I should have done dishes when I got home yesterday,  but I didn't give a fuck about them. Maybe I should do dishes now,  but I am doing this. I am going to run next. Maybe after that.

Other than that not much going on. My running  has been all Fucked up this week too. I should have done speed work yesterday,  but I didn't. I sat on my ass, and listened to an audio book. I check them out online through our library for free. I like that. Maybe I'll get sick of it sometime.

That is something about me though. When I get home,  and just feel like sitting on my ass. 99/100 times I won't turn on the TV. I'll just sit there and think of things. Nothing really,  and maybe everything.

It is kinda a strange place we are at kinda. I am just living out my days, and happy to do it. I work,  eat, sleep.

My life is pretty simple I guess. In life I miss out on nothing. My bucket is full kinda, so there is no bucket list.

I am happy with work,  eat, sleep.

I do this thing too which more and more seems dumb. Life is dumb kinda. My mind thinks so much shit is dumb, but us people place importance in things that have none really.

To single us out as special is what we wanna do I guess.

I don't know. Thinking out loud I guess, with this dumb blog.   :)

Tomorrow is Saturday.  Cool.

I am out.

Later.   :)