Thursday, June 30, 2016

A Crazy Week.

I think this is my first update this work week. I've been sleeping in. Yesterday I could have gotten up,  but I decided to sleep. Today I totally was thinking of sleeping more, but I didn't have to.

Sleep is something I don't have a problem doing. I am good at it. Waking up is something I don't have a problem doing either. I am good at that too.

So anyway I was thinking of what I have life boiled down to. Work, eat, sleep. These are things I need to do to live.

Typically I have 5-6 hours outside of those things to do as I choose each day. In the past I may have used some of that time to run, but my knee hasn't been great. I don't do much, unless we have a project going on.

Yesterday I rested after work for an hour or two. I cut the back grass, and watered the garden. After that Hope and I hung outside. We ate dinner around 6 or 7:00. Another day in the life.

If you look to your past, and look at your life now I cannot imagine what you see. I've looked at my life. I dealt with all the BS one accumulates just by living.

The truth takes everything away really. You are bound to no one anymore. Your life is your own. You owe no one anything anymore.

That is not how normal people live, cuz it is basically impossible for humans.

Look at all the stuff in life you have to do. You have this and that that needs to be done. Family this and family that. Houses and stuff need to be cleaned, dishes need to be done. Raising kids??  Add several more hour to your week helping, and doing whatever it is kids do these days.

Life is busy. Who has time for themselves??  I imagine in people they would like to kinda go "into the wild" cuz life is slavery basically.

Into the wild is a search for a content heart. It is a search for happiness. What we thought life would look like when we were younger is probably different than our real lives now.

The truth takes everything away.  Especially all the worries.

Life is just life. Trillions have done it, and everyone thought their life was just as important as yours.

Mine isn't. There is very very little to me, and I am cool with it.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I am having a coffee today.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D.    :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Sunday, June 26, 2016

A Day To Not Sleep In.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I am up early,  so I can go to work early, and get done at a decent time.

Yesterday was another day of work, eat, sleep. Hope, and I hung outside for a bit. I went to bed early, and Lisa did some stuff outside.

A pretty good day. Today shouldn't be bad either. The early waking up helps a lot.

So, I don't really know what people think of this blog. It does go against the grain of what you have been taught and what you believe.

It is a serious thing I sometimes discuss here, cuz why are we these strange creatures living here??  What is the point??  Live for a bit then die. Our lives are like all the insects and animals. Here today, and gone tomorrow.

So people have been taught many things and believe many things. What you probably never heard is to be the best a person can be is not in your power. Who even knows what you think that person would be like. I don't even know.

Why is the message so hidden, and so hard. That too is a good question. I know things happened pretty quickly when I made the turn. I went through a lot. Feeling good, and knowing I was on the right path. I probably felt I was special. I also knew things few maybe none living knew. It turns out in the end it is no other people know.

I didn't really care about that, anyway I went through a lot, and later find out I am in a worse place then when I started. I could have been mad, but my heart pulled me to do the right thing. If I was not obedient outside the garbage room at Bromenn this story is over a couple decades ago.

Anyway it seems we as people should be able through some type of activity make us the best a person can be. You can in your mind think what a good and decent person would be like. Try listening to what your heart tells you as you listen to it for a couple days.

What makes us full of all kindsa crappy stuff??  How do you change it?? 

You are powerless to change your heart. You need help with that thing which is full of all kindsa things.

You were taught who knows what. I am telling you there is a best a person can be. That is worth everything.

I am also telling you none of us are the best a person can be. I am on that path. Many of you are supposed to be too.

It is what this has been about. Pretty fluid too, cuz I was learning things along the way.

Life is hard. There are more questions than answers, and it is strange living in this place. Brace yourself and prepare. This is the hard part.

The truth is pretty brutal. Why I know not, but the fall was a big deal. We cannot fathom. So we need to make it on the good side,  cuz that is worth everything.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I'll finish my coffee,  and take Hope.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :D.   :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Saturday, June 25, 2016

A Day To Sleep In.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. I slept in today. I did wake up a bit before 3:00 AM, and thought about getting up. I fell back asleep though. Slept til.like 6:30. It felt good too.

Other than that not much going on. I have to work today. Duh. I was thinking about going to a pig roast the chef at the bakery is going to have, but I am feeling lazy. I may just chill out and have tacos.

Just an easy night for my old ass.  :)  I have to work 8 hours tomorrow too so. Lazy sounds good.

Yesterday I cooked some chicken on the grill. An easy dinner, and an easy night.

Life continues on. I continue without any worries. A heart that is content, cuz that too is a gift. No use for me to strive after wind. There are probably a million things a regular person has to worry about.

Futures,  finances, school, jobs, income, house work. Not to mention all the ideas in our head. In life we are supposed to do this and that. We have responsibilities to family and friends.

You know during that bad summer I had no responsibilities save one. Find my way.

Already been through the eye of the needle,  and suffering 6 days at the hands of the worst of the worst you'd think I deserve something.  My spirit was full for a short while, and unlike you still today I could see the sword as it is, but I still lacked understanding. Still lack it today, and that makes the sword pretty useless.

I found out before this bad Summer I was as bad as those who wear robes. I was not on the right path. If you remember the answer how I could be so far away when I asked. The answer was to save more lives. I still don't know how that works, but I ended up in the hospital that Summer. Spent a year after with that physical depression thing. Remember Natalie and I became friends. I started riding the exercise bike, and getting in shape. I read a lot too. I wanted to read every history book. One night at work the energy returned and I lived a normal'ish life for around 20 years.

Things started up again like I knew they had to. The dead years were over. Things were happening again. Heimleblog came and went. The journey came and went coinciding with me overcoming the 2nd time.

This is what makes me strong. I won. It's all over, but the waiting. My work is done save one thing, and that is all done for me. I made the correct steps even the one that will help me accept when condemned that as which I deserve. It is my path to victory.

So that is my story. Not easy. Took a lot of time, but I won. It's all over, but the suffering really,  but I am not afraid. Can't wait til it's over really, but also not looking forward to it. It will not be fun.

I'll still be here after. I will however be the best a person can be. Something we all currently have in common.  We are not that.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I think I'll finish my coffee, and take Hope.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :D.    :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Friday, June 24, 2016

What's It All Mean??

So England is leaving the EU. Who even knows what that will mean. I have no clue. I don't really pay attention to the news, but I seem to remember some Countries in Europe were struggling with debt problems. Are there any Countries running a surplus?  Is the Worlds Economic foundation really just Fucked anyway?? 

I have no idea, and who cares. Eventually we all die, and at some point many will realize no one gives a FUCK about the way you are really making great changes to the World with your political FB updates. They are really doing a lot of good.  FB has helped make your life that much more important, because it is another outlet for your political discourse.  I for one am really happy to see these updates.   :)

Now back to real life. So we got Lisa a new for her car. She was happy. We made out like bandits too, cuz we ended up pocketing an extra $70, cuz we miscalculated taxes, title, and stuff. Also the registration is paid now through 2017. Our birthdays this year will only have one registration to pay for. Always a downside for us turning a year older,  cuz our birthdays are one day apart, and two car fees are always due.  Also for a few years we haven't really til recently been  making a lot more than we had to pay out.

So it was a pretty good day yesterday.  In our little World we are doing okay. We aren't lonely. We aren't bored. We don't have any big obligations,  besides work, eat, and sleep. Also we've lived life long enough to know we don't matter. We are not that important, and we aren't making any great footprint in the World.

We exist in this place for a short time, and unlike most/ all others we are not disillusioned at our own importance.

I personally don't place more value on things than what they are due, and that comes from how my life has gone.

While you all were out trying to write your less than stellar autobiography,  I ended up having a different author. I didn't have the answers to this strange World,  and the answer came from my route.

I was not smart enough to know all things, and I surely cannot see in time. Turns out I was given a basic premise of my story. Hit the alligator on the head 3 times, and you are done.

Even at the time I didn't know what,all that would look like,  but during that bad summer I learned what the 3rd one will entail.

Be condemned, and go to Hell for 3 days. That is where perfection and understanding live. To follow in the footsteps of the one who went before me, and others too. It's been Centuries since it's been done too, cuz we would know.

Man grabbed the story.  Turned it into many many Fucked up religions, and it got lost.

The story was not about fake people talking into microphones saying whatever stupid crap their little minds think up.

The story is all fall short. None of us are perfect. Those who wear robes will be judged harsher,  cuz they block the way. They are  false teachers.

So you've been living a life like us all that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme. Many I gather think they have been living a Saintly life too.

The story was about forgiveness not one-upmanship. It was about humility not arrogance. The story was how in every way we are wrong, but we don't have to be.

The story was an end to who we are today so we can be better tomorrow.

The story was about instead of loving the world, maybe some would want nothing more than to be a better version of them self.

It's a good story,  but your heart lies to you. In the end you still have to overcome you. Your heart is not clean, and it lies.

On your own you are helpless.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. I think I'll try to nap a bit before I get ready for work.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :D.    :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.   :)

Thursday, June 23, 2016

A Surprising Kinda Day.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. We had an okay day yesterday. We have some work that needs to be done to our car. Just tie rod ends I think, and structural stuff like that. In the front and back. Lisa's guy could do it for  $500 max. He has no overhead so it was a good price.

Through work Lisa knows a guy whose wife just died. He had a car with 69,000 miles on it he was selling. The price is $4000. Since I never have $4000 laying around we thought we'd see about getting a loan, even though I don't like them. We got the loan. Our credit is actually pretty good. We had a rough patch a while back, but I guess when you have no debt, and you make your house payments you can build your shit up pretty quick.

I was and still am kinda floored by that. For those who know us a car with 69,000 miles will take us 10 years to get to 100,000 miles. We don't drive anywhere and we don't want to.

So that was my crazy day. Now with our work situation too our incoming money is significantly higher than our out flowing money. I guess that's the way you like to have it.

I'll probably get a fatty tire bike before winter.  :)  yay.

I gotta get my teeth fixed too. We found a place for that, which won't break the bank.

So that was what happened during my day between the work, eat, sleep. We bought some cheapy frozen pizzas from the grocery store I first started at a few years back.

So, I guess that is that.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I think I'll take Hope, and then make coffee.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :D.     :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

We Did Something Different.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I got a good night sleep, and that is the best way to start out any day.

Last night we went out to dinner to a place I never have been to. Lisa used to go with her Mom once in a while. It was pretty good. Lisa had fish, and I had tacos which I couldn't finish. I think I'll have the leftovers for breakfast.

Not much going on in my life these days. A never ending string of days of work eat sleep.

I was asked yesterday why do I push myself so much. I never thought of that really. I don't push myself. If working 7 days / week is pushing myself I don't see it. We all fill our days with some type of stuff. I figure I might as well fill mine working. You get a sense of accomplishment kinda, and the rest of the day is yours to do as you choose.

I have no guilt. I don't look back over my shoulder. I live life with little concern and no regrets.

I have no baggage really. My life has all been gone through. I am a person who stands on their own. People can pretty much do nothing to me, cuz my existence does not rest with what people do.

Kinda like you are with me or not, and that is your decision. My heart is strong to a fault.

So life goes on. I continue to live it in a simple fashion. My heart is content. It does not yearn for anything. I have no need to find my name in any History books,  cuz I need that not.

As far as this World,  and this life go I need very little.

From where we are now to where we are going is pretty crazy. You eventually will be surprised at how much I knew during this time. Cuz we really aren't doing anything, and we've been doing it a long time. Life goes on. People get older, and our prime has past many of us.

A lot of us just are turning  into older versions of ourself.

I saw a guy I used to work with. He just did some part time work for me. I called him big D from Dallas. Divorced guy I believe. His daughter worked at the store for a bit. He rides a motorcycle, and would go to Chicago for Blues Fest each year.

Anyway he was sitting with two older couples. One guy could not stop talking.  Blah, blah, blah.

I said hi as we were leaving. Who knows what goes on in his life. Who knows what goes on in his head.

I start another day of my life today. It is definitely a life without glamour.

I have nothing of my own I can hang my hat on to say see this??  I am good on my own cuz of this quality.

My life was all about the turn. The one that opened up the Spiritual side of life. I gave up my coin to get a better one.

Man made coins mean nothing in the Spiritual World. You don't learn these things though. It is a quid pro quo.  Kinda like the trust thing. You give nothing you end up empty handed.

The kicker is you really in the end aren't giving up anything. It just seems like it now.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  slept in a bit so don't have time to take hope.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.    :D.    :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

Have a good one you lost souls.   :)

Monday, June 20, 2016

A Day Like No Other.

Just kidding. My day yesterday was very much like most others. Work went good. As I expected I liked it more knowing I'd be there a while. Typically I'll have a set amount of things to do, but we cannot always get into all the areas due to people working overtime, so there will be other projects to keep me busy. I worked a full shift less the lunch I could have taken. Lunches are paid for, but by the time I could have taken a lunch my day was almost done, so I said screw it.

I came home, and chilled the rest of the day. Today will be very much like yesterday. Work,  come home and chill, eat a dinner, and fall asleep.

Life is kinda trippy huh??  Such a big World. Such a busy World. So much to do, and so much to see. Have we seen it all??  Have we done it all? 

I have, cuz at the end of the day there isn't much to see, and there isn't much to do. It is just life. It has one ending,  and that is probably the most important part of life. It will end one day. 

What then??  What will you do with your trophies while your dead?   How will you balance your budget while you are dead? What if you had to make a credit card payment in 3 days, but you died today?? What happens to your credit rating?? 

Life is full of a lot of i's,  and a lot of t's. It takes much effort to dot all the i's, and to cross all those t's, and at the end of the day they don't matter. Once you die all that dies with you.  The stuff we do does not endure. It is just stuff we do.

I am not saying don't pay your bills, cuz that would make your life pretty sucky, but you can see what life is, and how much it all matters.

We toil in vain, and for no real good reason.

With much suffering, and a couple trials I found the answer to life. My path isn't complete totally, cuz I do have one more thing to do.

I'll give you a hint about me.  My heart is the way it is not cuz of me. On my own I was worth so very little.  Who knows what my life would have been like?? 

I went in the correct direction with a turn. It led me in a direction that was not mine.  I was not the author of any of the things I went through. My reward for enduring the 2 trials is a care free heart.

Who you are now is who you've always been.

Anyways. Just getting something down. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I have time to take the Hopester.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D.   :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Monday is my fun day.  Yay. 

Sunday, June 19, 2016

A Coffee and A Quickie.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I had another good night sleep. That must make a lot in a row,  cuz I feel great. I picked up a dunkin donuts dark roast coffee at work yesterday, so I am having a cup.

Today I start my work every Sunday thing. Not sure if today is a full 8 hour thing or not. I don't remember. I think I'll like it, cuz I will be there a while.

Anyway yesterday was pretty uneventful. I woke up early, read, worked, had a couple drinks, and ate dinner, and went to bed.

Today I will work, come home, and we'll see. It's a tough life, but someone has to do it.

I wake up feeling like this a lot, and I know why. I sometimes think of others too.

What's it like to be them?  Life has a lot of unwritten rules. If you have family you are supposed to do this. If you are married and have kids you are supposed to do this and this.

What if you could throw out all your unwritten rules,  without worrying about any of it. Wouldn't that be nice?

Kinda impossible huh?? 

So onward with the life of slavery. The World has you hooked, and trapped. You are ensnared.

It's not your fault. That is what life is. There really is only one way out, and that is what this blog is for.

To help you throw away your acting careers and deal with life and this World.  The truth sets us free right??  Such an easy statement, but I am telling you brace yourself,  cuz the truth is not what you think.  Many/most will want to hang onto their acting careers, cuz what would everyone think if they actually knew you weren't perfect?? 

I'd probably like everyone quite a bit more if they played the part of their true self. 

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. time to finish my coffee and go to work. 

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.    :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.    :D.     :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

Cya.   :)

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Up At Stupid O'Clock

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I slept really good, and I still got up really early. I've been playing stupid games on my phone for a couple hours. I had a pretty good week this week. I stayed pretty busy, and I wasn't a complete pos when I got home from work.

I think I slept great the whole week. I don't remember being tired. I was planning on doing a couple things yesterday, but it was Friday so I said Fuck it. We went out to a local pizza place for dinner, and I had a beer and their veggie sub. That thing is so ridiculously good. Tonight I'll probably pick up a couple steaks after work to cook on the grill.

Another simple day in this simple life. Work, eat, sleep. Not really a concern at all. Some day I'll die, and I am cool with that. Of course I still have a bit to do before I die. My silly story.

As I wait during this time, I am so lucky to have a content heart.  I have no heroes before me. No human worship in my life.

I know me pretty well, and I know a lot about all people. I think people all seek out the "good" life, but there are no manuals for that is there??  So we all kinda do what is expected of us. It is whatever our upbringing and society have taught us.

The worst part of life is our hearts are not really content on our own. We need more money, more toys, more free time, more fun.

We want to be happy, and that is the bottom line,  and we want to be good. So many things we want, but why is it all out of reach?? 

People want their lives to matter, and that must involve some type of sacrifice. Wars are started, and people kill or die trying. One side is right, and one side is wrong, and typically the right side is whichever side you were born on, as if you had a say.

I, back in the day, stepped out of all sides to kinda find if there is anything else. A lot of life, pretty good vision led me to see there is nothing here for me. I am living this life, and I don't see anything being worth a piss. The World looked ugly,  so why even life?

So all alone in the World,  I made the turn. I was given a strong heart even back then, which made my life my own. If there are rules of how a person is supposed to be regarding damn near anything they don't apply to me.

All the grand things society has dressed up I am not concerned with. The holidays, and pageantry of life I have no use for. I just don't give a crap about that stuff.

Life is just a Web we found ourself in. You may wonder why your heart is not content, and it is because it isn't supposed to be. Instead of being an actor,  you are supposed to seek out other things. There is a higher truth, that goes higher than society, and religion, and pageantry, and everything else. Your heart is not content, cuz all along this is what you were to seek.

Remember long ago I used to stress trust, and strength, and things like that. It's been years, and still we haven't done a thing. We haven't even made one step.

Life is Bullshit. This World is a pile of crap, because it is all false. Life is kinda dirty. We poop, and fart, and pee. We get sick, and all kindsa stuff. All of a sudden a number of years have gone by, and you wonder what did my life mean??

Our lives really don't mean much, and probably the greatest miracle of all is when one accepts the truth of life, which is not all that great a thing, they can still be content and happy.

Our heart is the foundation of our life. If the heart is not content, than something in life is missing.

One thing I know about all people is they have a heart that is not content. You kinda know that about you,  so the weak become actors.

We want others to think we nailed life.

That's a long entry.

Sorry.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  gonna finish my coffee, take hope for a walk, and read my book. 

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.   :D.    :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

Bye all.  Have a good one.   :)

Thursday, June 16, 2016

A Little At A Time.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I had a good night sleep. I woke up with my early alarm, and stayed in bed some.

Yesterday,  I had a day. It was pretty uneventful. I used our chop saw, and cut up a bunch of pieces of our old cabinets to fit in our garbage. Our dumpster is huge, and typically we have extra space. I think today I'll be able to get rid of the rest, once the garbage person comes.  I also did dishes, and a load of laundry.

Typically I don't need to do laundry during the week, but as I was biking home all of a sudden I had to poo. It hit me at once. So I was biking home, usually I can hold it, but yesterday no such luck. I ran inside with poop in my shorts.  Getting old sucks. So I had to do some cleaning up, and a load of laundry, and a shower.

On the way home I did see people at the farmer's market, and I wondered what was in their head. I was biking home on a nice sunny day. I didn't really have a care in the World. I was wondering what those people would be going home to.

Bills, mortgages, what else weighed them down??  I wondered if they were tired. Sick of the crazy political drama? 

I knew their lives weren't perfect, and I wondered kinda what was in their head.

At that point there wasn't much in my head, but pretty shortly after that I would be pooping my pants.  :)

I did my work,  Hope and I hung outside a bit. We pretty much decided to do something easy for dinner. I Fucked up an order for a new deep dish pizza place. I thought I ordered enough for both of us, but it was pretty small. Pretty expensive too, so we won't be going back there.

That was pretty much the end of the day.

That is pretty much the end of my blog. Pretty dumb huh? 

I think so too.

Cya.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Tales From The Darkside.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing fine. I haven't blogged in a couple days. Sunday I read my book before work, and Monday I slept in.

We got a pretty good amount of stuff done yesterday. Filled our truck with most of our old kitchen,  and took it to the dump. We can get another pass in a few weeks to get rid of the other crap we have to get rid of. We took care of our bills/ budget. I cut the front yard, and we had time to chill outside.

I was surprised how much stuff we got done by 3:15. I thought it was later. Then I blinked,  and it was 5:30. Time to make tacos at that point. I went to bed around 7:00, and I feel pretty good.

Not much else going on. I decided since I don't work enough to work ~8 hours every Sunday. Back to no days off, but I get Holidays off, and we are taking a week off in August.  Not doing anything in particular.

A lot of stuff going on in the World. Much of it bad, and people are angry. Left is mad at the right. Right is mad at the left.

Pretty crazy. I could tell you things, but this World is ridiculous. You can send a man into space,  but the World still has wars, and poverty, killing, theft, violence.

Maybe a good question would be is everything wrong in this World?? The answer may surprise you, especially if you cannot step out of all the stuff you've been taught since childhood.

We all are guilty of trying to live a life we thought we were supposed to. It took a lot for me to throw everything away in case.

I did it though, and I was able to find answers. The answers are pretty exclusive.

There are no points for anything we do under the sun. There is no labor, and no sacrifice you can do to make you the best a person can be. Marriage certificates, and birth certificates mean nothing.

We all at some point tried to tally up our points for all the great deeds we do, and I found out in not so easy fashion there were never any points for my deeds.

Now as I stand now I have tallied up some points, cuz that was my path. Not my ideas, and not my plans. I walked pretty blindly, and had no clue how to get points.

So I guess it is my job to tell the people they are lost. The life you think you are living as a Saint is not. We all fall short. The great deeds you've accomplished are not.

It is not a good job to tell a proud and arrogant people to step back.  We are not that great, and your life matters a lot less than you think.

That's my job though. 

Not exactly what I had in mind all those years back when I made the turn, but I had no idea really. No clue what exactly I was doing.

Now I see. 

Anyway, I gotta run.

Laterzzzzzz

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Best Laid Plans.

Good morning. How's it going?   I am fine. I woke up in a good mood. My heart was upbeat, so I thought about that. I've been this way a while. It is a gift I have that is better than any drug. You don't have this, so I kinda wonder how you are.

I was gonna start drinking coffee again, but I didn't feel like it the last 3 mornings or so. Today I got a cup. I also wanted to sleep in today, so I guess that is 5:00 AM.

Life continues to roll on. Days come and days go. I continue to roll on too. Keep plugging along. Work eat sleep. I am healthy. I work a few jobs. I sleep, and I have plenty of free time to do stuff.

In my free time I could probably do more productive stuff,  but I am content either way. I mean last week I did help put in a new kitchen, but I like just chilling a lot. :)

People are kinda a trip. A lot of different personalities out there. I think the one way you can categorize everyone is flawed. You don't need to look far to see everyone is not perfect.

We do judge though. We judge our strengths to others weaknesses,  and that makes us better.

I am probably the worst person to have around, cuz I have eyes. They see things, and you never know what I will ponder.

Yesterday, I heard a girl wanted a boob  job. Another girl doesn't like her husband. Some people life just beats the shit out of, and they can't get up.

Much of the shit that happens in life is our fault. We make decisions, and the years go on, and now look.

Our hearts guide us at times. We trust our hearts, but our hearts are not always our best counselor.

The World is strong. Stronger than you all. You cannot stand up to it, and you cannot beat it. The World is your master. My journey has led me to this point.  With help I have overcome twice, and with my help I am stronger than the World.

It takes a lot of gifts to make me the way I am, and I have travelled a million more miles than you.

It is impossible for you to get where I am save one thing.

The step that helps you get to know you. It is a good thing if you take this step.  You may be surprised at how not great you are.

I've known the truth about us for a long time. We were born to live a lie.

There is nothing easy about any of this really,  cuz everything is out of your hands, and people tend to think they are the master of their life.

Life has gone on for years and years, and happily ever after is still out of grasp.

I'm gonna read my book.   :)

That is it for today!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. gonna drink my coffee too.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH. :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.    :D.    :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)


Thursday, June 9, 2016

Another Day Down.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going?  Me, I am doing good. I was just laying in bed for a while thinking of things.  

Wanna know what I was thinking??  I warn you it is pretty much dumb stuff.

1.  Wanna know what's in the heart of a champion??  Lust, arrogance, jealousy, anger, selfishness, greed. Pretty much the same shit as everyone.

2.  There is an old time scooter convention thingy that went on in Holland this week. Forget what they are called. First motorized scooters. People took a week of their time to ride these in a strange place with other people doing the same thing. I saw a bunch yesterday, and that seemed to be pretty ridiculous to me.

3.  Yesterday I had a few drinks. Not uncommon to me, maybe I had one more than usual, but ideas I had last night, which seemed cool, seem pretty dumb now.  :)

4. Lisa goes back to work today. She told me people told her they missed her. I didn't think anything of it, but that shit matters to her.

5.  My knee has been a bit gimpy, so I haven't been running much. Still bike to work most days.

6.  Back in the day I used to go out, and be sociable,  but I am pretty much a homebody now. I am happy in my own environment.

So you see, I have a life. A lot of little things make it up.  At some point all these little thoughts will end as I will be 6' under, hopefully breathing no more.  (Kill Bill)  haha.

What's it all mean??  It means life is short.  The years fly by in an instant.  Just a couple weeks ago I turned 40, and in a couple months it will be 50.

Life is too short to be angry, and the World is,all Fucked up. If you spend too much time thinking of ideas of how you will fix it or make a difference you are wasting time.  If you take the right steps you will accept this silly thing called life for what it is. It isn't a good thing. It's stupid. In a funny kinda way though.

People do stupid shit, and they think it important in their book, and it isn't.

I know I know I am the luckiest person in the World, cuz my heart sees, and accepts the truth.  It does it mostly with a smile too. Most of the anger that may come from me is those who think the heart of a champion is some kind of Saint.  They are assholes, cuz arrogance in a person is ugly.  The know it alls are the worst.

I guess I am kinda a know it all cuz I know a lot more than you.

What can I say??  I must have the heart of a champion.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I want a day to sleep in and just read, and drink coffee.   :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya.    :D.    :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

I Wanted Coffee

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. I finished up my part of the kitchen. Couldn't get the new faucet to work, so after a few hours I took another 10 minutes to put the old one in, and it works fine.  :)

We can always get another faucet later when Lisa does the new countertop. I'll have to take the sink out again anyway. I have one little thing left. I rigged up our drain on the dishwasher I assembled a few months ago. Getting another look during cabinet installation I realized I just needed a small 1/2" piece of cpvc to make it perfect. I think I knew that last time, but didn't have any cpvc or copper laying around. Since I have easy access, I might as well fix it.

These projects are not exactly therapeutic for me. I still am amazed how well everything came out, but I find it to be more stressful than feeling accomplished.

Anyway, I woke up this morning, and I wanted coffee. I wanted that jolt I got a few days ago. I think I've weaned myself off of coffee so much it actually gives me a jolt again. I think I pretty much stopped, cuz I know it wasn't going to do anything for me. Now it does, so maybe a cup a day again.

Having a new kitchen means we are cleaned and organized. If you ever wonder what is under, and behind your cabinets just know ours is clean. 

The coffee has me going, and I am pretty excited about today. My work is done so to speak. Lisa had close to a week off, and I was able to help her get everything done she wanted. Now my life gets back to normal. It's how I like it.  :)

Another day to live, and another day to be me, which is a million times better than being you.  :)

That is it for today!!! :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  it was pretty stressful doing that work, but it is done, so that's good.

Love you All xoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's. :)

MWAH. :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D.   :D

Laterzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz :)

Aloha. :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo. :)

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

The Things You Don't Think Possible.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??   Me, I am doing good. Over the last few days we took down all our stupid custom made kitchen cabinets, and put in new for us ones. Lisa got a deal from work, so instead of spending several thousand dollars on new kitchen cabinets, we spent like  $200 on white raised panel kitchen cabinets. From stupid cabinets to actually nice ones.

We were actually able to make it fit too. It fit so good we were able to put our c-top back, and it fits perfect. Lisa is going to make a new countertop out of 3/4" hard wood floor. I just have to throw the new faucet and sink in. New for us anyway. Another deal from her work. Sink originally a couple hundred bucks,  and the faucet would run a few hundred.

I still am in awe we got that shit done. First time we ever Fucked with stuff like that. To have it fit pretty perfect is ridiculous.  I started the Game of Thrones books too, and I am hooked.

That is what my days have been about. That is stressful work I tell you,  but it  worked out.

There are other things going on I guess, I dreamed a lot the last couple nights. Stupid dreams I don't totally remember. Stress make you dream more?? 

Life goes on though. You think about the guy who made our stupid custom cabinets. A guy spending several hours putzing around making shitty cabinets for his house. If he is still alive he is probably screwing 80 year old ladies in an old people's house. All those hours spent building those stupid cabinets amounted to nothing. We are pretty happy with our work, and that too amounts to nothing.

There is something more to life. It is hidden, and the activities done under the sun in the end are pretty dumb. We do fill our time here doing stuff. It's just the multitudes place a million more percentage of importance to this stuff than it is actually worth in the long run.

If you could view your final days you would realize it really wasn't worth much.

Anyway I went out, and actually found out these hidden things. I lived in a hidden World no one knew about, but one.

I overcame twice so I could sit in this position now. Really your life pulls you as does your heart. You want that better version of you, but you see it is impossible.

So all you can do is hide right,?  Not really,  cuz no one is any better than you, and you are no better than anyone else.

You are really a stranger in a strange land. It just so happens you still are a product of your society, and you think that is important.

Pretty crazy.

Anyway, I gotta run. 

Laterzzzzzz.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Gas Station Coffee

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I haven't bought any coffee in several months, and I am out. I woke up early this morning, and thought I might like a cup.

There are several things on my mind this morning,  and most/all I don't want to tell you.

Life goes on and on. Yours does too.  I see a famous boxer died. Everyone has him all wrapped up in Sainthood, and he wasn't. You share that together. He died, and at some point you will share that in common with him.

Your job while here if you choose to accept it, is find the way to a better you. Once your dead your time runs out, and you are at the mercy of whatever comes next.

The worst part is none of the activities done under the sun are your answer. Being a boxing World Champion is not your ticket, and I gather most of you will not reach those heights.

Life is a game of points,  and those are not yours to acquire. You really are at the mercy of one who would be willing to take you on that path. The activities you do under the sun are just that. Stuff you do. They aren't good, and they aren't bad, the just don't matter. It is just shit you do.

I could go on about things like that, but why bother??

The damn truth of life no one has time or the desire to seek.

Part of it is the false view we have of our life. One of the things we must overcome. I am a Saint or not??  I am special or not??  My life is one of the important ones or not?? 

A lot of questions like that, but you don't want to think of those things.

I don't blame you I guess, but I am already down the path that was laid out for me. You like all others are on the path of life til it turns to death. Too much life going on though to consider the end.

Oh well

Laterzzzzzz.   :)

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Forcing One Up.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  I am fine. I am forcing this one up so to speak, cuz I don't really have anything to blog about. I was just gonna lay here and relax.

I had another day yesterday. It was much the same as others. Nothing really significant happened. Really in life I have nothing significant to do. I work, I eat, and I sleep. That is what life amounts to when you get as far as I am. The World no longer entices you in any way.

It is strange being this way, and knowing how the correct path ends, cuz without taking the right path then people tend to think there must be something significant to do. Also that we must matter.

A lot of nameless people have walked the Earth. Some may be better known than others in some way, but we still all lead anonymous lives for the most part.

I imagine people have to be somewhat torn. Life has to be stressful in some way. I know hearts are not content, cuz that is impossible.

The scariest thing for you maybe to face is this life matters right??  We must matter right? There is a purpose to living in this place which has murder, and wars, and anger, and hate, and all this stuff??

Not really. The sad state of affairs is you kinda just get born in this World. All follow their own society down its own path. Some join groups, and that may take them a little different way than others.

Typically we seek our own happiness. Our hearts deceive us, cuz of expectations being high.

We don't want stress, we want life to be relatively easy, we want to feel happy,  and we want to matter.

This existence is hard and destined for a type of failure.

No one's life is perfect, and either is their heart. We seek out Saints I am guessing, but you can stop your search. There are none here. I hope you are wise enough to know you aren't one either. If you try to portray yourself as one, than you are hiding stuff and basically lying.

Oh well. I guess I did find a little stuff today.

Have a good one.  :)

xoxoxoxoxo.  :)

Laterzzzzzz.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Just A Little Update.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing fine. I had a pretty good weekend, and really enjoyed my day off. I got a lot done around the house. I actually have this Sunday off too. Lisa got her new cabinets delivered so we are putting those in this weekend.   She got a good deal from work. So we will have a new for us kitchen.

So I will be busy this weekend. I only will have to work for like 3-4 hours on Saturday, but I am off Friday night til Monday morning.

Other than that not much going on. Life continues to move, and I continue to live out my days. I am not bogged down in Politics, cuz I have no interest. I am not looking for some Heaven on Earth, cuz it ain't happening.

I figure I have the best of all Worlds cuz my heart is typically pretty okay. I accept the World for what it is. A place of imperfection.

As to all the other stuff you may see on this blog, you won't see it today. I pretty much got nothing.

Laterzzzzzz.   :)