Thursday, April 28, 2016

Up Early.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I finished another day, and everything is still the same with me. Yesterday I worked. Did some shit when I got home, and made myself dinner. I was going to make a meal for two, but Lisa went out with her daughter. Hope, and I hung out, and then I went to bed. A never ending string of days tied together.

I am approaching 50, and I pretty much have the responsibilities of a 20 year old. Minus a fuck ton if life to learn about and zero percent worries about what the fuck to do with my life. I have zero concern for the future, even if it is bad.

Some day I'll die which does not concern me at all. I do have one thing to do at some point, but it dies not concern me. I know that will be pretty bad, but then I will be the best a person can be. Then I'll have even less concern is my guess, although I suspect I will become concerned with people more as I will have lived their end. I will have a new vessel that can carry what will fill me. My current one is unable. It will be a new me.

How do other people live??  I have no idea. I know how people's insides are, and I know they are not like mine. I imagine people have stress, but I don't know of what. Life us hard. There are bills to pay, futures to worry about. There are unwritten rules now that 200 years ago were not here.

After WWII the US rebuilt Western Europe, and our Economy could provide single income family units. Your Grandpas and Grandmas probably lived retired for decade(s). Times have changed since then. Competition got crushed, and Conglomerates took over much like the times of TR. Of course no one is so strong to stand up to big business, cuz the news outlets are big Conglomerates too.

The World you think you know is a disaster. The World is fueled by money, and no one ever thought if that may just be completely ridiculous. There are systems in place kinda to have some type of order, but your World makes you hide. No one is so strong to stand up to their judgement. So you hide. Typically you want to let people know you live the fairy tale life, but I know better. I know how life was before how I am now.

It's fricken hard. In our heads society painted a picture of how we are "supposed" to be. How are lives "should" look. Of course we all follow that. I did too sorta, until life pulled me in another direction. My eyes questioned things. Life happened. I always thought I was a pretty decent guy, but there is no way I was the best a person can be. So I tried to be. Talk about an exercise in futility.

Most important to me back when was to be a good person. Who knew this took so long??  I had no clue, but there were things I had to do. I had to suffer some to learn. With help I had to overcome two trials. I've gone through many things invisible to all eyes but mine. I know quite a bit about the invisible side of life. The things inside you that make you not the best a person can be.

Even if you get rid of your demons there still just remains you. Guess what??  This person is not the best a person can be either.  My demons are gone from me, but perfection I still am not. I am a strange hybrid of something you won't read in any book. I am different from you, and I stand alone. I am not the finished product though. That comes at a later date. I have no idea what goes through your mind. I just know your life isn't perfect. That's impossible at this stage.

Anyhoo, I guess that's good.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Gonna take the Hopester. Driving to work today too.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D   :D

Laterzzzz gaterzzzz. :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxx Ooooooooo.   :)

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Making Me Work.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. Yesterday was a pretty okay day as far as days go. I finished work early so we could go to a convention a baking supplier put on.  It was okay as far as those things go. I am pretty much a newbie as far as those things go, so I didn't know what to expect.

One thing you kinda take away from baking from scratch to prepared foods is there are a lot of chemicals not added when you do things from scratch. One of the guys was surprised that our guys make their own donut glazes from scratch. It is pretty simple from what I gather, and there are no added chemicals. I assume most places use the mixes with whatever added chemicals.

Anyway I got paid to go so that was cool. Free lunch too the supplier provided. On the way home I ran into a guy I worked with for ~20 years give or take. I checked out his new house his girlfriend bought, and had a few drinks. It was kinda cold out, so that worked out okay. The stuff I want to get done is more warm weather stuff. Not sure what I was going to do when I got home anyway. I already planned on an easy meal anyway.

So there you have it. Another sun and moon have come and gone. It is how life goes. I kinda get a feeling people think in life they have done okay. I mean none of us is Hitler right??  The truth goes deeper than the surface. It goes all the way inside. On the average I guess we are all doing okay as far as humans judge, but are we really??

I say we are not, cuz I know we are not. Life is hard. Our hearts aren't perfect. Anger is in people, and what can make that go away. One way is to not give a rat's ass about politics, cuz that shit makes no one smarter. In the US it creates more anger. Much anger is directed at people too, and I guess cuz people labor in something or other, and others don't put forth the effort.

I could give a fuck about what people do, cuz regardless of anything we aren't perfect. I would hope people find humor in life, and also be honest about the shortcomings we have in life. No one is perfect, and it isn't in our power. I am not saying it is impossible, cuz it isn't. It just is as far as we are concerned. No labor or sacrifice brings about perfection on our end. No points come from our labor or sacrifices either.

A life lived just cuz is what we pretty much do. Society is different than it was 40 years ago, but we are pretty much the same. We are like a little bug trapped in the World's web. A bug trapped in a web is only concerned about the web he/she finds himself or herself in. Most/all of you are only concerned about the web of life you find yourself in. You are enslaved in your life.

There only is one way out, and it does not involve going out to Walden Pond or going all "into the wild". You actually don't have to go anywhere. You just deal with you.

I've gone on about that seemingly forever though. There are answers, but I am afraid if everyone has all the answers already you have no need to search for any.

You've nailed life. You are always happy. You wake up every day like life is going to be super fun, cuz of all the remarkably fun things you must do day in day out.  :)

Hahaha.  That makes me laugh.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I gotta take the Hopester.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo. :)

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Catching Up On Sleep.

Makes all the difference in the World sleep does. I was like a zombie yesterday, and I slept great last night. I woke up for a bit, but slept deep  again. I had some dreams that were of the type you would want to wake yourself up. I did too. I was in a precarious position, and I figured I can get out of this. I am just dreaming so I woke myself up. I don't recall ever being able to do that before.

Yesterday I rushed home to cut the grass. I was glad to get that done. We even hung out back some more. It was warm. The storms came last night.

There you have it. Another day down the drain.

Today starts another day. It starts off with good sleep, and a cup of coffee. I imagine it will start off with a bike to work too. I know yesterday's post was quite the doozy. You have no idea. Some things I wonder if it is even fair to tell you things, cuz so much happened to me after I went through the eye of the needle. I don't think that made things easier for me. My fear was no less. I realize you haven't even felt the terror of our end. I lived it, and have been judged while living. I faced my condemnation, and I've faced my death.

I guess even during my bad Summer I always had hope, although I was on the wrong side of being right. I learned a lot that Summer, and not much if it is anything you would particularly want to know. It basically showed me how Humans were, because it showed me how low, and insignificant I was. Even after suffering stuff already.

I tell you what disappears when you go up to the judges. Hope disappears. The judges do not give you a favorable rating. They are crafty and wise with the sword. They are to test you. I surely would have failed if my heart was not strengthened, and I was not given the right words to say. It is the answer to life too. People are all like I want I want I want, and the answer is to deny yourself, and say your will.

You don't know what that means for you, but it is good. Better than whatever the heck it is you do. You still have to do stuff in the World. That is known, but you have another job to do outside of the World. It will probably be hard, and you will probably be tested. I was, but with help I overcame.

The two sides of life. The shit we do in the World, and the other one you were set aside for.

Put all arrogance away too, cuz without help you don't make it. The only thing you can do is overcome yourself. I know it is probably hard cuz a lot of you probably want to win the lottery or something.

There came a point in time for me where very little was important. My work is done so to speak. I do have to go up to the judges one more time, but the one who overcame will be with me. Saving the few who were strong enough to make the trip.

So yeah there is a lot to life you don't know about. It has always been this way, but the World hid itself with a veil. I've been given the light to shine on the World, cuz that too is my job. I judge the World.  This is not at all what this College Graduate had in mind, as I pondered death, my shortcomings, and this shitty World.

One does what one is supposed to. A little secret though. I am no longer the little boy born approaching 50 years ago.

I am something completely different. My story is not mine I made, and I am not the author.

Anyhoooo, today should be a good day.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!     :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Sox came back to win on the road. Looking good around 1/8th if the way through. Seriously I was more stoked about that victory than gave a fuck about the Hawks loss. Hawks will be back next year.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.   :)

Aloha.    :)

Xxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Monday, April 25, 2016

A Quiet Sunday.

Yesterday ended up being a quiet day for me. Not really intentional it is just how it worked out. On Saturday night I actually stayed up and watched the Hawks game. It started at 8:00. 8:00 PM!!  I know right, who am I??  So I slept til around 5:30 or so. Got out of bed at 6:00 had a cup of coffee, putzed around and then I had to work for a bit. A little over 4 hours. I came home, had lunch, and was tired for some reason. I had some shit I could have done, but I didn't.

Yesterday ended up being like Saturday. I went outside and listened to the SOX game, and watched game day with my app. Lisa putzed with her fairy garden stuff. She cooked dinner on the grill this time, and I watched the final minutes of the DAL MN Hockey game.

She went to a movie with her daughter, and I went to bed. I slept like shit too. Very rarely do I sleep like shit. My mind was thinking about all kindsa stupid shit.

So there you have it. Another day in the books. As to the other part of my blog, is there anything on my mind??  Nope not really. There is just this little thing about me. I know me, and I know how life is. I know some things about you too that you don't. All people are different, but all of you have one thing in common. It is something you don't know, and it would surprise you if I told you. It isn't a good thing either.

Me I have gone through every part of me. Currently I am living in an imperfect vessel. I myself am imperfect. The current version of me ain't all that great. I am not a mass murderer or anything, but I am just not perfect. I am comfortable with me though cuz I am accepted. It is known I cannot be perfect as I know currently I cannot be. The current version of me still is different than what I was born with.

You are what you were born as. A person of this World living a life. We all have that in common. It is just when life pulled me I listened. I asked the tough questions like what's the point??  I seeked out some good in the World, and I saw none.

Everything is well documented, but along my way I learned the ugly truth. I learned the lies of the World.  The veil was lifted, and my eyes see the truth.

It is inconceivable to you that through no power of yours we can all be made better. We can learn the truth. A wisdom higher than you can attain on your own. The thing that holds you back is the bad part inside you that says you are all that.

If you knew the truth of you, you would surely be surprised.

People are kinda funny that way. Can you believe no matter what you do you get no points??  Crazy huh??  Any labor or sacrifice = nothing.

Us??  This great creature I am is incapable of doing what needs to be done??

Yep!!   :)

You have no idea how helpless we are. A slave to ourself. We cannot do hardly anything to make us better people. Pretty crazy. So we go on living these lives.

I can steer you in the only way you should go, but it still is up to you. You cannot fool me either, cuz I know too much about every human on Earth. Even the ones who came before us.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s. I am going to try and nap a bit.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Laterzzzz gaterzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxxxx Oooooooooo.  :)

Saturday, April 23, 2016

It's The Weekend.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. Yesterday was pretty okay. I came home after work, and it was overcast. I sat on the couch wondering what to do. I thought about watching something on netflix, but the sun came out so I went outside. It turned out to be a nice day. Lisa came home, and we went out to eat. We had a buy one get one free meal at a local pizza place. I got a Vegetarian sandwich. Not cuz I don't eat meat, but cuz they make a Hell of a veggie sandwich. We came home she watched tv, and I fell asleep.

Lisa is off the next 3 days, and the weather should be pretty good for the next two. I have to work for a bit today, but I'll be home by early afternoon. I have time to get a run in too. Anyway, I think I'll make a cup of coffee. Hold on...

 Okay coffee is done. So what else is on my mind??  Not much. Geesh, maybe I shouldn't even blog today. I will, but this is the point where I have no idea what will come out.

I don't know if that sounds funny, strange or what. I can really go down many avenues. I just look inside myself, and see if anything is there. I think back to yesterday's post. It is kinda funny, cuz life is supposed to mean something right??  There is something about us that says we matter right??

People die every day. People who were sons and daughters. People who were Dads and Moms. It is where life leads. It's been this way since forever. Everything we are "supposed" to be, and things we are "supposed" to do we cannot do. There are a lot of rules. Written and unwritten. If you had the power it would be wise to make your heart perfect. That is out of your power. Inside us all is imperfection.  Funny the fake religious people hide everything that is imperfect, cuz they are "supposed" to be a certain way right??

In a Religion you'll find nothing but false teachers.  In their hearts is deceit, cuz they cannot overcome their own personal sword. There are robes worn, and suits and smiles. I cannot step near these places, cuz their teaching is false, and it is not good for me to go there.

Til this day I cannot even read the Bible, cuz my eyes were opened to see the sword, but the way I am the sword is not good for me til I get understanding. So I haven't touched one for a couple decades.

My story isn't about religion, cuz that is how humans fail. My story is about the truth, and that is at odds with religion. The truth is we are all short of perfection. In other words we are nowhere near who we can be. There is a way to a better us, and that is my story. It always was a choice. A hard one too, cuz you are a child of this World, and in so being the World overpowers you. It isn't your fault, we all are born here. It is your job to find your way. Unlike me you have help. Someone on this planet who writes this blog. I've had a ton of help, cuz I am no longer a child of this World. My vision is clear, and the World does not overpower me.

To be a child of this World is to have a false vision of you. You believe in your own potential, and greatness, but you have absolutely zero power to improve your heart. You are a slave to your own insides, which is something less than perfect.

To be human is to seek for honor in shallow places. It is to be a slave to the World. There only is one way out, and as I told you before the truth is the hardest thing you'll ever do.

Solomon saw the job people like me would have to do a grievous task he said. Indeed it is, but he also saw my life, and what it boils down to. Eat, drink, and be merry. I cannot take credit for that, cuz years ago my heart was taken and placed in better hands. The night I gave up actually. On my own I am nothing. Now I am just a helper, and I am not so good at this.  :)

Actually I am okay, but you people are like all the other ones before. You believed in the World not the messenger. It's always been that way. You too would have crucified the messenger, cuz you go with the World, and the false teachers.

You bet the truth is scary. The scariest thing out there.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Today should be a good day.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxxxxx Ooooooooooooo. :)


Friday, April 22, 2016

The Ferns Cane Up.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I almost decided to sleep in again today.  :)  I don't know why, usually I go to bed early and wake early. I've been going to bed early, but wanting to sleep more.  Who knows??

One of the things I've been paying attention to this week is the ferns. Not much last weekend, and now there are a ton that have come out of the ground. Every day there is more, and they are a ton taller. Trees are starting to come alive. This is the best part of Spring.  I love sitting outside to look at Nature come alive I guess.

Anyways life continues to roll on. Work seems to be a bit busier. At least on my side of the table.

Really I don't have much else so I guess I can dig for something. As all of you know Prince died.  If you don't have FB than I guess it's possible you don't know. What do I think??  I think he died early, but it was how his days were going to end anyway. We all are headed in that direction. The days continue to pass and one day we'll breathe no more.

I think death is a significant thing. You don't start living until you deal with your end. The World has you thinking about everything but. You are supposed to do this and that and that and this. What are your 5 and 10 year plans??  You are the master of your Universe, and your thumbs make you such an amazing creature of  awesomeness. You can read the future so those 5 and 10 year plans are money. Bank on it.

All our plans these days pretty much are about money as far as I can tell. We value that above all else. I invested back in the day in Weimar Republic dollars. I'd be a bazillionaire today if things turned out different.

All currencies eventually fail. All Societies are a failure. Imperfect things. Everything is imperfect as are we all. It is one of the things people should consider. There is a best a person can be, and there is us. You standing alone in the World traveling on the same route as Prince.  Here today, and gone tomorrow.

Of all the things to do in the World there really is only one that is a must. A turn. I've gone on and on about that, but life has to make you turn. You need to be pulled in other ways. Many of you have, and many must see their heart is not all it could/should be.

A person born in this World is born into failure. No one gets out alive. We seek our niche. What our lives must mean.

The answer is we will fall short of our expectations of life, cuz our hearts cannot be content in how they are.

It took a very long time, and I've gone through many things to be as I am now. That still remains a less than perfect person. I still haven't got what I came for so to speak.

I guess when I started my journey I figured it was a one to two week plan, and then I start whatever it is I do. I guess it was a decades long plan. I've labored long, and still have not gotten what I wanted. I continue to sorta stand on the outside looking in, but my heart is already in. It is how I am content.

I cannot really explain anything to you. What I do here early is different than the rest of my day. I finish up here, and go back in the World. I become regular Steve I guess, and who know what my eyes will see. Sometimes just funny shit. I mean life is ridiculous, but we still will all die. The serious side of our existence. Not a damn thing matters when we breathe our last.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s. I gotta check the weather before my run.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.   :)

MWAH.   :)))

xxoo.   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Xxxxxxxxx  Oooooooooooo.  :)

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

The Most Important Thing That Happened Yesterday.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I guess I am okay. I am up early so guess I'll do this, even though I got nothing to blog about. As to my title it is a joke. Nothing important happened yesterday as with most days. :)  I so funny.

I see the SOX won so that's good. They had a rough few games, but are still sitting at 9-5. It is early so not really sure what to make of them. Yesterday was kinda cold when I got home. I went outside to see if it was okay to hang outside, but it was windy, so I watched a movie, and a couple episodes of it's always sunny. Oh I did sleep in yesterday too, and that felt great.

As you can see my life is a bit boring. I am sure yours is too.  What is life??  What are we doing? We all follow the society we live in kinda in whatever direction it goes. I assume most people work. Some get married, have kids. Pay bills, buy a house. These are things we were supposed to do right??

Actually...  Who knows what the fuck we are supposed to do??  Look at all the things you base your whole life on. Why do you do it, and why have you done these things??  It seemed right didn't it??  Isn't that what people do??

Me, I threw everything away just like I said I was going to. Just in case. That led me in quite a different direction. It led me to the truth of life. Who knew??  Who knew how messy and horrible this thing is??

The World threw one over on us. The World and the people dressed themselves up to make it all look pretty, but it isn't. The World is messy, and dirty, and imperfect. Humans made heroes out of other humans, many just cuz History books paint false pictures.

Geesh I am just reading a Fictional book now.  I thought the author was better than he was, but even the story sorta puts superhero qualities in people. It is pretty ridiculous kinda. What kind of life is it if there are no heroes??

It ain't bad. It means you gotta good set of eyes, and no one is on a pedestal. It means you can look at everyone, and know they are in the same boat as you. Less than being a Saint. I realize none besides me looks at things that way, cuz one of the many things you are a slave to is the hierarchy of nothing that puts some people in a "better" class. If you could see their lives though you'd know they fall short just like you.

If you could take the sheet of clothing off the World, and the people, it would look so much different than how you see things now.

You don't get that though. It is not yours to grab, and it is out of your reach as perfection is out of mine.

It is available as perfection is for me. Me, my work is done, so I wait for my time. You haven't done anything yet, but if you do you get a different set of eyes. My guess is you sorta have a good enough set of eyes currently to want more. Something is missing.

I've told you all these things though. I go on though, cuz I am pretty ridiculous. :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome a Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Think I'll get some stuff done today. I was kinda lazy yesterday.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxxx. Ooooooooo.  :)


Monday, April 18, 2016

I Sorta Realized This Today.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. Every two weeks I can potentially get a full day off from work, and yesterday was one of the those days off.  I got all the dishes done, and all the laundry besides some blankets and afghans. I fixed our shed, and started cleaning our breeze way. I sat outside. I had a couple fruity vodka drinks, and had fun. It was a good day. It was a good weekend.

Today I am up early. My heart is happy, and I realize you people don't have that luxury. I have a gift you lack. Joy. I generally wake up in a pretty good mood. I know why I am the way I am. You have absolutely no idea why you wake up feeling one way one day, and one way another. I know why, but I cannot really explain it to you, cuz these things you have to learn in your own. Ya gotta want to take that trip. Some of you might not want to, and it really is fine with me. I have a job to do, and I do it. I am heading in a certain direction for a destination. My destination is the final thing I must do in my current form. As you are now is how the multitudes have always been.

In a hierarchy of sorts some may be better than others at stuff, but none are perfect myself included. In your World you have justified that doesn't matter. In my World I don't justify shit. That does matter.

One way is a way of strength. One way is a way of nothing. One way is worth everything, and the other way is worth nothing.

Your heart has those two ways mixed up too. Your heart lies to you.  It is why you have to overcome you. Your foundation is a lie, and you need to switch it to a foundation of truth.

The truth is nothing like you think, but I've told you all that. You cling to your lying heart though. It's all you know. You've been given good information, but you don't believe. It's like you think you are a Saint already. You do know better than that right??

Crazy people.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. I am going to take Hope, and have a good day today.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D

Laterzzzz. Gaterzzzzzzz. :)

Aloha.  :)

Xxxxxxxx.  Oooooooo.   :)

Saturday, April 16, 2016

The Long And Winding Road.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. Yesterday went pretty good. I actually got out of work early in a Friday, which is surprising. I took the long way home on my bike just cuz. I sat outside, and did nothing. Lisa brought mulch home, so I have stuff to do today after work. I gotta take Hope for a run in a bit, and that is about it. I am pretty excited for today. I guess I am like this a lot. I always wonder if today will be a day I become a better version of myself. Typically the answer is no. :)

It is a new day though so you never know. Here are some differences in me now compared to when I was super motivated. I would bike 4 mikes to some trails by my house and run the trails. Hilly trails. Didn't feel like doing that yesterday. I would take my road bike out, and just go long. Can't say I am totally against that.

Back in the day I had goals, and these days not so much. I stay active, but not really hard core like I used to. I look at stuff when I bike. I notice the neighborhood, and my surroundings.

Wanna know why I have no goals??  Part if it is the constant injuries probably finally broke me. I don't think my knee would handle more and more miles. Also it just doesn't even matter. Of the important things in life it just isn't. In this life very little is important, but it will be probably impossible for your heart to comprehend that. What I've learned about myself is I am worth so very very little on my own, but I took the right steps long ago, and I've been made important. Just what I do here.

A blog about life, and this blog shows you I stay on my path. No one is so important they can lead me astray. My strength and confidence come not from me though. My life is mine to live, but in my heart I pull an unwilling people to follow. It is kinda a crazy thing too, cuz I know this will end up in a good way eventually, but you people have made this so much harder than need be.

I was alone, and young when I first started my story. Many of you are attached and old for starting this type of thing. All is possible though so eventually this story has to unfold. Sooner is better than later, cuz if you have to be pulled by other means than me that is usually some pretty tough stuff. Those who have had significant things happen this year can give testimony to that.

Life is not stress free, but if you stray too far, significant things pull you back.

I don't know how the future days will look. I know the one final thing I must do. I've known it for decades, but I surely didn't know about my blogs. I didn't know what overcoming the 2nd time would be like. No idea. That was brutal.

I am anxious for the 3rd time, which is ridiculous I know cuz it will not be fun, but I do end up with all I wanted.

Funny thing though is security was one of those things, but I got that already.

Whatever it is I'll do I will have help. The one who overcame will be with me, cuz that is the only way to victory. On my own = no way. :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading !!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. The first warm days of the year are the best. Hoping to be a better version of myself today.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxzz

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH. :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz :)

Aloha. :)

Xxxxxxx   Ooooooooo.  ;)

 


Friday, April 15, 2016

The Weather Does Matter.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I am up early, even for me, and it isn't like I got a ton of extra sleep. I think it may be the weather. I guess in April if you see snow and highs in the 30's you are done with winter, and you are done with being cooped  up in the house. Yesterday it was probably approaching 70°, and it was sunny. I sat outside, and listened to the SOX game. Lisa came home early, and did some raking. Today, tomorrow, and Sunday will reach 70°+. It will be sunny too.  What a difference it makes in your outlook.

I don't really have any major plans this Summer, but as usual I will spend most of the waking hours outside while not at work. We have some outdoor projects to do. Getting home anywhere from 1-3:00 in the afternoon is quite the luxury.

In Michigan this time if year the day's high and low can be a 30° difference. I will run in a bit, and it is probably 45°'ish. I'll bike home and it will probably be 65° or so. I think I'll start my book today.

Anyways weather does make a difference. This is the time where it pays to live in an area that has 4 seasons.  When the weather begins to warm up it changes our perspective. Same as Fall when the weather cools down. It feels like you can change whatever you do to fill your day. No longer are you stuck in whatever you've been doing before. The days look different.

By the time Summer has been around for a few months I am ready for a change in weather, and having another outlook. We eat different things, and we do different things. To me that matters.

Anyhooo, not much else going on with me. Work, eat, sleep, and doing shit outside. *my early alarm just went off. *    :)

I guess we will end it there. How things look now are not how they will always look. You are meant to see other things, and learn other things.  Some may not make the trip, cuz well a variety of reasons. They have no idea the error in their ways either. It is a shame our hearts deceive us. We trust our hearts, and we trust our intellect, and other things that have placed us on top of the food chain.

Being on top of the food chain is NOT some admirable and excellent quality. How can it be when people still kill each other, anger is everywhere you look. Imperfection everywhere you look.

How we are now is not the best we can be. The best we can be is out of our reach, but not impossible. Up to our own devices, yes it is impossible to be the best a person can be.

There is a way though. It is a choice one makes too. What is the most important thing to you??

It's a tough one huh??  You put your trust in the World cuz this is our home right??  It's the only thing we know huh??

I guess in that way I am different. I am no longer a person just born in this World. I know other stuff, and I see so much clearer.

I've been made different, but I am not the finished product. You may be the finished product as you are now. You will never improve much from who you are now, and you might become worse. The way I teach is something different than you've ever heard.

Way back when 25 years ago, I had absolutely no idea what my days would look like. My job is way more than I bargained for. I know things though. I know how you are, and that says a lot.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Kinda looking forward to my run. Also I started eating a bowl of cereal in the morning before work.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Laterzzzz Gaterzzzzzzz    :)

Aloha.  :)

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Nothing.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am okay. I have pretty much nothing on my mind so we will see where this goes. Yesterday I got a haircut. It was a month overdue. I've been wearing a hat 100% of the time, so I just let it go. We are in for a warm up so hat wearing season appears over.

I came home, and planned to hang outside with Hope, but it was cold so I came in and watched a movie. I made dinner, and that was it.

I really don't have anything important on my mind. Life goes on. Day after day. These days continue to come, and go, until one day we die.

Is there a point to this??  What happens if we aren't good enough??  What do we do about that??  I can tell you some scary things about life, but you can't see them. I cannot take you to that place where your heart realizes the seriousness of life. My heart is constantly aware of it, but it doesn't scare me anymore. Most people I realize never graduate out of the lives we were born in.

I did, and I did it a long time ago. My story is two-fold. What happened a couple decades ago, and my blogs the past several years. I've been through some scary things, and now I am not scared. Sometimes I am mystified at how slow this thing moves.

I don't really get people, and they surely don't get me. We are sitting on two different sides kinda, and it is impossible to come on my side except for one thing.

Tough things are asked of you.  The story really is this:  as of now you are the maker of your story, and that is not your purpose. Your purpose is something else, but you gotta give up your story/coin cuz there is a better one.

You get very little help in this, cuz you gotta overcome your own heart, and that ain't easy. You have me on the other side telling you it is okay. Come on it is good. You cannot realize it now, but you will after.

That is your predicament, and few had someone like me.  It really should come down to you looking at yourself. That is the best a person can be??  Some will sacrifice all kindsa shit and labor for hours on end. Really the true way is having it get done for you. The true way teaches us how horrible and worthless we really are.

You are a slave to your body and your thoughts. Not able to be perfect in any stretch. I am not either, but I am on that path. You just are living the life the multitudes have done forever, and you have confidence kinda cuz you trust your "group" of like minded individuals, but life is just you. You die, and you are held accountable to you.

You'll bring no birth certificates or marriage licenses, cuz those papers die with you.

Life is a trap, and most don't even realize they are snared.  I do realize where people stand cuz my story involves me learning these things. I am supposed to help others follow along, but so far it's not going that great. It isn't my fault though.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Time for me to take the Hopester.  Also excited about the warm up.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D    :D

Laterzzzz gaterzzzz  :)

Aloha.  :)




Monday, April 11, 2016

The Truth About Cats And Dogs.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am okay. A little tired, but I am done sleeping. I don't really have anything to blog about, but I am up early, and I finished my book. I also have some time before I take the Hopester.

Really I have absolutely nothing going on. This weekend was pretty much nothing significant. I worked, read, watched a little baseball on Saturday.  I ate and slept.  Today will be another day. I'll eat, and work, and take Hope, and go to the liberry to get another book. Not even sure if the 3rd book in my trilogy is written yet, so I'll get another author's book.

I don't know how you people are, but sometimes my mind is kinda silly. For me I know my life has turned out to be important, and what I do here is significant, but right now it just seems silly. Everything is out of my hands. I am along for the ride. I know where we are going and what we are doing, and you don't.

Everything in my life makes sense. I totally trust my path and my direction. Humans really are put into a Weird World and weird life. Like rats in a  maze. Running around looking for something important and significant. Only problem is rats aren't significant. They toil in vain. They live their lives and die, much like us.

There should be a point right??  Somethings gotta matter right??  Why have we gone through all the trouble of living here??

There is a point and there is a purpose, but the purpose is not yours, and your life is not yours.  There is a big World out there. It is filled with Wars, and drugs, and sex, and tv. There is a History of this World, and much of it is Wars, and sex, and rape, and pillage, and stuff like that.

It is an ugly place we live in. Life has been dressed up all pretty to make us blind. Our eyes have been shielded from the ugly truth. The ugly truth is we aren't that great. Either was anyone else. We also are not good enough. We fall short.

These are things I know are true. These are things that don't scare me, cuz I am sitting in a good spot. I am just not sure what you are doing to be honest.

Trying to find something significant in a life and a World that isn't.

It all is pretty silly where I stand, but that is just how my mind is today. Kinda along on this silly ride.

But hey it's Monday. My easiest day of work. I'll take Hope, and check the weather. It rained all day yesterday, but sounds like it stopped. Maybe I'll be able to bike to work.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome a Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s. Tryna get a picture of how much you can see inside you. I doubt much.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxzxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D

Laterzzzz gaterzzzz.  :)

Aloha.   :)

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Back To Normal... For me.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I feel like I am back to normal. Back to normal for me is inaccessible. FB, Twitter, or Blog. If I don't work with you in person, and I don't see you in any of the other areas I don't see you. I like it that way. Everything in the open for me us best.

I had a few weeks where everything went nuts. Other avenues were open, and Geesh. I closed that all up, and now I am back to regular. Life at any point in time can take you down an avenue not of your choosing. Ya just kinda go along for a nutty ride. I like my simple life. The simpler the better. I don't like seeing people's lives they paint in fairy tale colors. Those people are full of shit, cuz we are not perfect.

Guys are horrible creatures. I don't think we will ever outgrow checking other girls out. I don't know what gay guys look at, but I am sure they are just as gross as straight guys. Girls I have no clue about what they think, and I don't really care.

I do know some things. None of us are Saints. You are as imperfect as me. The difference between you and I is I know where I stand. I know I an not perfect, and without help I'd be a complete piece of shit. There is no step in the stairway of life I can say hey look. See what I did here??

My life means very little, and all my worth is tied up in my journey, which I am not the author of. You are tied up in hero worship, and human excellence, which is the biggest lie you believe. We all die, and we will not escape it. You bring a kid in the World you bring in more imperfection.  Nothing you can do about it. The kid will never graduate the "good enough" school. You will share that in common.

Your life would look different now if you paid attention here. You checked it out, but you didn't believe, cuz YOU hardened your heart.

You are guilty.

That is something you must deal with.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. Next week Spring shows up.  Yay.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras if these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH.  :)))

xxoo.  :)

Now for really  really cya cya cya    :D   :D

Larerzzzz Gaterzzzzz.  :)

Aloha.  :)


Saturday, April 2, 2016

To Tell You My Sins.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. Lisa is pissed at me so we'll see how that goes. Mostly cuz I sleep too early. She complains she doesn't have a husband. I guess if I stayed up later that would be one thing. I would stop doing this.  I kinda like doing this at times, but does it even do anything??

Yesterday I got drunk. I am kinda celebrating my "weekend off". I just work today for 4-5 hours, and I'll probably get all of Sunday off. I thought of maybe seeing a movie after work today, but now I am not sure if Lisa wants to talk to me. We'll see. Btw getting drunk = being silly for a bit falling asleep, and not being hungover. I feel fine today. Like a million bucks.

The thing about me is I am not mad. I am not unhappy. I expect of life what I get. Not much, so I am not disappointed in anything. I think life can be funny cuz it can be so ridiculously stupid. I asked one guy yesterday if such and such girl was married??  He said,"I am not at the point where I notice wedding rings."  "I don't notice if people are wearing rings,  I've seen her boobs."  He just blurted that out and I laughed. Life in the open is pretty ridiculous, but everyone hides behind stuff.

So today will be this. I'll take Hope, and then work. Seems like a perfect day, except Lisa is super disappointed in me. I'm not disappointed in me. I can only be so good as I am now. It is out of my grasp to be perfect. It is out of my grasp to give too many shits about my current existence. My life is over from where I stand. I am just waiting for my final thing. I am kinda disappointed in people. You haven't done what you are supposed to.

I was thinking of the last few weeks, and wondering why. Then I figured I was allowed to go down a crazy route to test others. I am not going to be perfect in this thing as that is impossible. Testing people gets rid of the weak ones.

The less people for me the better too it seems. So many saints out there I surely don't want to see their  lives.

Anyway that is that.

I guess this is this too.

I've lost the signature, so we shall see.

Laterzzzz.

Friday, April 1, 2016

Getting Back To Normal, Whatever That Is.

Hello, and good morning. How's it Going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. Had a pretty crazy 3 weeks or so, and I don't know where that shit comes from. Not to go into all the details, but have you ever just seen your life go down a crazy avenue, and you pretty much out of control??

I think it has happened before to me kinda. I never really get too nutty. You eventually kinda catch yourself, and things seem normal again.

Anyway not to go into details, but I am glad that is over.

My life is simple, and it should remain so.

Yesterday I woke up, and tried to blog, but I quit after 3 sentences, and deleted it. It was a struggle to get 3 sentences, and I had nowhere else to go. So I deleted it, and sat doing nothing for 2 hours. I could have taken Hope, but it was raining on and off, and I didn't feel like running in the rain.

I don't think it is horrible for me to drive once/week anyway to do some errands. I don't like to come home only to leave Hope right away.

Actually I guess for me things are okay. Get back to my normal life. It is kinda boring I guess, but typically I am not bored.

I have a tough message. It is made tougher for you, cuz you want your messages to come from heroes. Part of my message is there are no heroes. I certainly am not one, and either are you. We kinda wanna have someone to look up to, and unfortunately you stand alone. There is no one who can  help you with the fact you are responsible for you, and your life. You are held accountable for you.

I've lived a long time, and til this day I remain not perfect. I don't expect my life to get too crazy, but after the last few weeks you never know I guess. Like I said though I feel back to normal.

The difference between you and I is not that one of us is a better person, but one of us did deal with the BS that I ain't that fucking great. Decades ago I saw what I deserve. I deserve the thief's end, and you still believe you deserve a heroes end.

I found my path for a better me. It never was in my control. Either is the timing. It was hard in many instances.

I guess I can say a lot of things, but I remain on my path. The longer this goes on it may seem the less I care what you do. The reason I do this is to lead you in the correct way. A way to a better us. Part of that is so you can get to know you. I've seen enough of people's lives. All of ours are pretty boring I'd say.  I want to get to the good stuff, but that is not in your power. You don't have the vision of you, and you don't have the courage.

Life is a game of failure, and as far as I can tell people still cling to the belief they have the winning lottery ticket

You don't. You just don't know it. The World has your heart.

Anyway I gotta take the hopester.

Laterzzzz.