Friday, July 31, 2015

Dumb Titles...

Yesterday's title was kinda annoying. Why not just A Summer Day ?  So dumb.

Oh well who cares??

Yesterday was pretty okay. Work went fine.  Worked an hour over. Today they are dropping a shed off at our house. Lisa is getting a good deal at work. It will actually be nice to have a shed, since we only have a one stall garage door.

Other than that work will be a busy one again today, and then it is the weekend. Life keeps moving. We are almost into August, and have we even done anything this year??

I know a lot about people, and there are two sides. The current version of us that lives life, and has good days and bad days. Motivated days and the daily grind days. The opinionated version if ourself, and really just the normal day to day version of us.

Then there is still the kid version of us that never died. A person all alone in this World, and maybe terrified if he asked the question what if everything is wrong. This kid may be even more terrified to find the answer is yes.  Everything is wrong.

We do day to day shit, because that is a part of life, but you gotta dig deeper for the truth, because to be human is to think we are right.

Perhaps you may notice my seeming hypocrisy, but I had my journey. After being severely judged after heimleblog I didn't want anymore. I just wanted to be right if you remember, and the assurance of right came, and the promise that all my steps are on good ground.

My work is done. I've been accepted, although I still have another thing to do.

The work that needs to be done is yours.

When that takes place who knows.  Maybe some will never get the courage. They will just hide their coin to protect it instead of what needs to be done with it.

You will fail because you won't have enough courage.

Some the weeds drown out your seed, because the World is way too busy, and you never graduate out of the day to day stuff.

Come to think of it you people need a lot of help.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I have a lot to do today.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D

Thursday, July 30, 2015

A Summer's Day...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??   Me, I am doing pretty good. I had a good day yesterday. Work went fine. Actually work is pretty fun. This time of year I personally just try to get everything done on time. Monday is a pretty easy day, and the other days it isn't always real easy to get done on time. We stay busy the whole shift. I like that.

Anyways yesterday was a great Summer day. The temps were nice when I got home. I sat outside for a couple hours, and then we had dinner. I went to bed early, and now I am up early.

I like life this way. In bed early, and up early. I don't really know why. Maybe it is sleep security. If I am tired, I can always sleep more. I am really lucky to know me. I know what I can do, and probably what I shouldn't. Whatever it is I shouldn't do probably is not in my heart as something I want to do.

I have a lot of help and a lot of protection from any kind of day to day stuff that can get one in trouble. If I have vices they don't control me. They just supplement life. Make it more colorful.

A content heart is a really great thing, and I bet from the outside looking in at me you cannot comprehend what a content heart is. Why is that??  There is always too much shit in the World huh??

I should do this and I should do that. I should act this way towRd this person and this way to that person. I have emails to read, and regular mail. There are bills to pay.

Life is busy as heck. Where do all you busy people find time to take pics of your happily ever after?? Why are there not pics of your 47 emails that need to be read??  The 26 envelopes of bills and shit that came in the mail??

How about a pic of your budget you fuck up every month??  The high cost of insurance payments, and when do you have time to grocery shop??

Life is about balance, and there is no way that is possible for a human. It is why you cannot comprehend a content heart, cuz it is not remotely possible without help, and you have no help... Right now.

You are currently one of the billions of people walking the Earth. Living life, but not to it's potential, cuz you look for answers on the outside, and all the important shit is on the inside.

Many of  you act kinda weird too, because to be accepted by the World is more important than anything else??

Meanwhile today I plan on having another Summer day.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love you All!!!    :)

p.s. Had a blogger I read in the past blog again yesterday. My list sorta got fucked up, but I was really glad to see her in my list, and glad to see her blog. I read her only for a short while, but I know a lot about her already.

I think she called me a creep once. :)  I can usually overlook most things. There is a strength in knowing you are right. I have that strength.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.    :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D    :D

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Life Is Always Near...

Life is so near, but still very far away. It appears our hearts blind us from life. We are all so busy doing day to day shit, and you add year over year of day to day shit, and it wraps a web around our heart.

Our hearts get hard, because it gets no oxygen. We end up being blind, because this is how the World controls us. It is the way of the World, and none escape it.

Why? ?

From what I learned is important shit was done, but we don't understand, because our minds are way too weak. It says do not trust in your own understanding, but how can a human not think he is the master if the Universe??

Our hearts are wrong, and there was never ever any other way that was going to come out.

So there is a whole story being told.  I know it doesn't fall on deaf ears, but the story goes against all we believe. We believe we are right. We believe we are good.

We believe all kindsa things, but the story is all about forgiveness. It isn't a story about how great we are, but just coming to terms with us. Our life, and the things that make us imperfect.

Having our hearts webbed up as they are by life it takes help to unwrap it, and clean it out.

All this shit is invisible to the eye, and that is the way it works.

Not all things were invisible to me, cuz I saw real stuff. I walked with the Glory of God in me for a couple hours before. Saw the World as he did, and you realize nothing is hidden. I had the Worst of the worst in me for 6 days doing what he does best. Judge, and persecute.

I lived in complete terror before, but it helped build trust.

There is a way to a better us, and it is worth everything. It is a blind step, and one I didn't think was so hard. If the wait is years in the making, well that is just crazy.

Kinda funny too if you think about it. It is just the truth. That is all. Why is that so scary??

Are you afraid if you???  Afraid of what you will see??

So we go out and try to conquer the World, cuz we are too afraid to see what is inside us that conquers us??  Now that is dumb.

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Think I'll take the hopester and have some breakfast.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.   :)

MWAH.    :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

A Lot About Nothing Probably...

This may be a lot about nothing cuz I really don't have much on my mind. Yesterday was a pretty normal day in I worked, and then chilled at home. I did grab my bike after work, and I had a flat. What to do??  Call Lisa to pick me up??  She was off. Walk home with the bike??  How annoying. Oh crap, the cycling store is right across the street. I forgot.  :)

(I bike to work using the back road with no traffic, so I totally forgot about that)

So that wasn't so bad. The guy asked me how long I was biking, and I told him like 4 miles. I told him I worked at DeBoer and was going home.

Those days of me biking for more than transportation are probably over. The days of what can I do are probably over. That spark is all but dead, and maybe that is how my life is supposed to be.

Why??  Who knows, it isn't really important anyway.

What is important in my life??

There isn't much here. I work, stay active, but just to stay active. I eat meals, and sleep. I sit outside a lot, and I sleep really good most days.  :)

I don't read much anymore. Occasionally. I don't watch much tv at all. I just live life day by day. Mostly boring stuff from the outside looking in, but I am never bored.

The World does not impress me. All the people we may look up to are just people. Imperfect people who deal with the same shortcomings everyone else does.

The one thing you can count on is there are no heroes. The World can clothe people in brighter lights than others, but they are still people.

As life goes on it should be easy to see that life should be more.  We should be more, but how do we make the inside of us a better person??

If only one could teach us the way.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. All of a sudden the Sox started another streak, and are in WC contention. Just to piss me off I bet, baseball can drive you crazy like that. At least me anyway. Glad I am not a Cubs fan. Things could always be worse.  ;)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's.  :)

MWAH.   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D

Monday, July 27, 2015

The Long And Winding Road...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. Had a relaxing day yesterday. Outside of work I have very little to do, so yesterday I watched movies. It was like a Winter day in that regard kinda. I am cool with it too.

This morning before getting up I was thinking about things. What I do a lot really. How I am like me, and you are like you.

It is soooo strange for me going through my things, and standing as I do now. I have a job to do, and I do it. I think how bad I must be doing, but really you have a job to do too, but you don't.

What is your job??   Your story should be similar to mine in you have no idea what it is.

You remember when I started decades ago I had no idea what would happen. Turns out I went through some very tough things. Learning all these things I realized the Whole World is wrong. All the people, and all the teaching.  Everyone was wrong.

That Summer I has to find my way. My heart was not in good hands, but I believed the things said. I was obedient when I found out I had to go solo.

The job I was supposed to do I knew would come at some point, but when the energy came back I was free to do as I choose, and I chose to be a nut.

Back then some things stayed with me. Once I found a good job I worked hard. That stated with me. I also back then read a lot. Anything from Robert Ludlum to History books.

I knew things no one else did. I must be special.

My 2nd trial and this whole wait blog taught me the truth. I am not special. Yeah I know stuff, but that is cause I am lucky to be picked out to do this job.

It is a hard position to realize the whole World is wrong. All the teaching is wrong. The number game is not a good one. I no longer have fear, cuz the time for me to fear is over. It never totally goes away 100%, cuz I am still just a weak vessel whose only strength comes from my help.

That being said though typically my heart is pretty okay, cuz I have the promise, and I don't need to 2nd guess anything.

My life is mine to live, because my heart is led in good directions.

You don't want to know the nutty things I learned, because it is really strange.

Anyway for me to be here as I am now is pretty remarkable. It is a good thing.

The life you sorta think you wanna have is out of reach. We are way too imperfect to make our "perfect" lives.

In making your own perfect life you will fail miserably.

There only is one way to the content life you should really want, and trust is key, cuz it is outside your vision.

Anyways, I guess it is time to take the hopester.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for Reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love  You All!!!   :)

p.s.  This is too long to proofread.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's!!!  :)

MWAH!!!   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Saturday Morning...

Gotta like Saturday mornings. It is the day I can sleep in til whenever I want, and I slept in til after 4:00 am. I had a great night of sleep last night. I also am starting today with a cup of coffee.

So what is going on with me??  Not much, just living day by day doing my thing. What a thing it is I do too. Living a life, and doing a job I did not ask for. Life came at me full force. I was at the point in my life where direction was everything. As life came at me, and I watched people like Khien Pham I realized if there is some reason I am here, let me do that instead of anything else.

That is the turn. When life seems gross. The World is dirty. Everything under the sun is so way not perfect, there is only one way to go.

That led to a very hard journey for me. I went through what I thought all my life was, and started my solo track. I played the fool, I suffered, in the worst Summer of my life I received a blessing. It was definitely the Summer if fear, and the Summer of my death and condemnation. Then I woke up the next day alive. With help I overcame, cuz at the right time I was given what to say to the judges.

What is it??  "God's will be done".

When the judges have control of your heart you believe what they want you to believe. They judge, and they condemn. When I said "God's will be done" I knew I just condemned myself. I could not save myself, and this trial was all about building trust. It is the trials and tribulations that perfect our faith.

It sure isn't about going into the World , and doing whatever. The real us is on the inside. That little person in this big World with questions of why even life??  Wouldn't it be better if there was nothing??

It is a big deal this thing I do, because this is not really what I asked for, but I did. Let me do whatever no matter how small and insignificant really.

I was never ever strong enough or courageous enough to do what I do. Especially solo, but as I started blogging, my journey continued. I kept going and going and going.

I asked you to make a very important step. It took death and more pain, and more stuff for me to learn what needed to be done.

So I've traveled, and you haven't made one step.

Life is not as you view it. Your story is not what you think it is. I don't know what your story is post turn, but it is different than what it is now. Way better too.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  Been blogging a lot, but typically not on Sunday cuz I try to wake up to get to work at 3:00 am without the alarm.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's!!!    :)

MWAH!!!   :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

Friday, July 24, 2015

On Pluto Chairs Are Round, and Other Ways Of Cooking Meals...

Hello and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I had a good night sleep, and I am ready to start out my Friday. Yesterday for dinner we went to a place called Kozaks. They serve authentic Chicago stuff. I had an Italian Beef with giardinara, and a Chicago style dog loaded. That shit is sooooo good.

Other than that not much going on. Kinda enjoying the summer. It is still July too so that is good. All is quiet on the blogging front, and I think I know why. The blogs will go a certain way after a turn, but the turn has not been made, so the blogs are going nowhere, so there is nothing to write about.

Invisible to the eye is how they will go. Your hearts will be changed, and vision will be improved. Strength you currently do not have you will have.

It will come down to what I asked years ago. To be open, to be honest, and to show people.

Your blogs will all of a sudden be about your life. Deeper shit than the day to day. It is here you will do tough stuff, and that will help you get to the good stuff. Many if you have a following of sorts, and that will open stuff up to bring others along.

Simple formula huh??

No I had no idea this is how things would be, but if you go back to the beginning you remember how important the bloggers were in my eyes. My heart led me in the direction I go. Yours will too.

When will this happen??  That is entirely up to you. Do you want to feel better about you and life??  Do you want to figure out what life is??  Do you want answers??

All the good things are there for you, your job is to turn one coin into 5 or 10.  I've already told you that you are only one coin. You'll find you've been asked to do the impossible, cuz only one can turn your coin into more. It is nothing even remotely possible for you to do.

Other Worldly things are just that.


That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I have to poop

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Luv Ya's!!!   :)

MWAH!!!    :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya  :D    :D

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Cleaning Out The Sock Drawer, and Other Movies In 3D

Hello, and good morning. I am up again, and have a ton of time. Today is drive to work day/ errand day/ pay day. Don't really have any errands, but have to deposit my check.

I don't really have much on my mind at all. I don't have a sock drawer I keep them in a little basket with my boxers. Also I don't even like movies in 3D so obviously I have no idea where this is heading.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Work went fine. I think I finally found out the correct way to do the pigs. I always tried using hand strength to push the pig out of the bag. After I was done I realized if you roll the top hand in the bag it exerts pressure to squeeze the pig out much easier. We'll use that technique next week. It should make me much quicker and better.

I came home, sat outside, had a couple cocktails and made dinner. Shortly after dinner I went to bed.  A day in the life.

I really don't have anything to say that hasn't been said. There is not much I can help you with. I know life isn't everything it seems it should be. I also know your heart is not content like mine. I find strength in your weakness, and it probably is our weakness that scares us. We don't want people to know our weakness, because we all hide that shit while we judge others. We sacrifice everything to make ourselves Saints, but there is no cure for our inside.

There only is one way to clean us from the inside, and honestly that is worth everything.

Our view of everything is whack. We look at our life without knowing the value is like Weimar Republic currency. The true value of our million dollar lives still is one coin, but we think it is worth a billion dollars. Your value is whack, because your demons overpower your vision.

There only is one way, and that is the final answer. You know there has to be a way right??  I mean none of us are Saints.

What we've been doing isn't working.

Duh !

Anyway that is it for today!!!   :)


Luv ya's.  :)

MWAH!!   :)

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Early To Bed and Early To Rise...

That is the way I play it. Once again, I am up, I am done sleeping, and have absolutely nothing to blog about.

I guess I can tell you some things I was thinking about yesterday. I was thinking how free I was. It isn't a stupid propaganda free like "freedom isn't free" or other stupid shit like that. It is a different type of free. I don't have to do anything. I don't know if you remember. But "have to" is shit that makes us mad.

There isn't really anything I really need to do. Also I am content sitting at home doing nothing. In life I am missing out on nothing, because my heart is content. We need to live so we have to work, and actually I like working. Your down time is the reward for the work we do.

There are many differences between you and I and #1 is I need nothing out of life. My life has been lived.  I've done what was asked, and I have been given a content heart. That also is the reward for my other labor I've done.

So yeah, it is good to be me. It is good I've taken the steps I've made, and have done the things I've done.

Another difference between you and me is I know a lot of the flaws of the heart. I kinda know how it operates. And you have absolutely no idea about mine. You cannot comprehend. Because mine is different than it would have been if I still was on the path of me. Mine was changed. It isn't perfect, cuz that won't happen til later, but it is better than it would have been. It serves a purpose too. It helps lead people to the truth.

That is pretty much it.


Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Only Cuz I Have Too Much Time On My Hands...

It is 3:00am. I am done sleeping, and I don't have to be at work for 3 hours. I have time to do this, although I don't really have anything to say. How it is someone who works 7 days/week has time to blow is beyond me. I am lucky like that I guess.

Anyway what is going on with me??  Nothing. Yesterday I decided to lay in bed/sleep in instead of get up. I had a weird night of sleep in I kept waking up. Weird wake ups too. I would wake up thinking it is almost time to get up, and realize I still have hours left to sleep.  Those are pretty good wake ups actually.

So where are we as people headed??  Me, I work 7 days/ week typically. I come home, and chill, eat, sleep. Most days I bike to work, and some days I run before work too.

That is my life in a nutshell. To the best of my knowledge I place no undue burdens on people, except maybe people who may stumble across this and read it. Sorry 'bout that.  How about you??  Part of the solution or part of the problem??

In life you will find there are givers and takers, and I am not sure the percentages. In my opinion givers are the good people, and takers are part of the problem. Takers come in rich people's clothes, and poor people's clothes.  Typically they are not part of the solution. That being said they all still stand on their own. Whatever is out in the World is not your certificate to salvation.

All the things written on paper, and all the traditions, any sacrifice you make, any clothes/costumes you wear matter not one bit.

What matters is who you are on the inside. Who is that person??  That person gets what they deserve, unless they find a way to forgiveness. You haven't found that yet. You know the way I suspect, but?????

Must be a dilemma of sorts. I am human, and I have a brain, I can do stuff??

Or, I am "good enough" cuz the World teaches me so??

Life is tough. We are not perfect, and we are full of failure. Personally I feel the takers make everything even harder.

That is life though.

Right now I am going to take Hope, get ready for work, after work I will chill outside, eat dinner, and go to bed.

Shouldn't be placing too much of a burden on people,  and I have nothing to prove.

Make sure you people with kids get everything done today.  :)



Saturday, July 18, 2015

Coffee Day...

I slept all the way through to 6;00 am. Also today I am going to have a cup of coffee. First one in a couple weeks I think. I don't think coffee is bad, I just typically wake up with a lot of energy, and coffee isn't going to improve it so why bother. The energy I feel is kinda a nutty thing. I could tell you how I have it, but that is a secret. A nutty secret between me and one other. I learned a lot of nutty things that bad summer, and the Spiritual World is a crazy place. You can throw all the laws of the Universe out there, because in the Spiritual World everything is possible. You have no idea of these things though.

You live in the real World where humans are heroes, flags are idols. Things written on pieces of paper are worth more than our soul.

The World is a horrible place, and people grow up messed up, because they were raised on bad leaven. If someone were to come. And teach them the truth they wouldn't believe. If someone were to come, and say there are no heroes they wouldn't believe it. To try to take the World and all it's flawed teaching out of people is impossible.

1.  It is impossible

2.  It takes a choice

3. People are too afraid so they stick with what they know to their own demise.

The thing about it is you have the mirror. It should be telling you that you are not the fairest in the land, and I would think you might want to find the way to a better you.

Or, maybe you just don't give a shit. In that case, have at it. I do not waste time on worthless causes.

I have a job to do, and if you don't want to do yours fine by me.



Friday, July 17, 2015

Guess I'll Do What I Do...

Hello, and good morning. I took a couple days off from blogging, and for a couple of reasons. One I didn't want to blog, so I thought I'd rest more. An easy decision really.

Yesterday was a pretty interesting day at work. A guy who is funny, and always is in a good mood bailed. Personally I hope it is just a personal day for him, because why??  He has the best job, great hours, and a great place to work. I didn't think much of it, but it seemed so out of character.

Everywhere I go I see characters. People with pasts that are colorful. What do people think of their past??

Is it hard to look at??  I wonder if it is impossible to look at??  You don't get to the good stuff, unless you are willing to take the journey. It is the walk of life really. You can look at yourself, and realize things are not getting better. We are not becoming better people, and that should be a gentle tugging to reconsider.

Do you want to be a better person or get 3rd in your age group in whatever race. The two can go hand in hand for a bit I guess, but the path of only you will not help you become better people. I don't even know what a path of me is, because it wasn't mine.

I put a lot of trust in people with this thing. Typically they just had to show some strength, and sometimes I wonder if it was a waste. Maybe a mistake was made on my part.

Nothing I have to worry about really, cuz I have the promise, and you have nothing.

I win, and I won. I have no idea what it is you do, and really like us all our lives are boring, unless we can get to the good stuff. The turn is important, cuz out of nowhere you will have the strength and vision to see and deal with the good stuff.

Everything else is just day to day bullshit, and like I said all our lives are boring there.

Gotta run. Today is Friday so tomorrow I can sleep in.


Tuesday, July 14, 2015

So Many Decisions...

Since I wake up 3 hours before I have to go into work there is a lot I can do in the morning. I can sleep if I want, and I contemplated it this morning, but I probably got enough sleep. I can have a cup of coffee, but throughout the years I have come to the conclusion coffee does nothing for me. I may have an occasional cup, but it really does nothing for me.

I contemplated not doing this too, because let's face it, it seems like such a waste of time.

So I guess I'll do what I typically do a lot. I'll jot something on here, take Hope for a little run, and bike to work. Biking to work is fun. A little more fun than biking home.

So what is this blog. And what does it do??  It is a story of life, and unfortunately the true story of life. The World always made everything seem so easy huh??  There are a billion little niches you can clothe yourself in, and they are ALL good right??

It isn't really a story of good and bad, life is all about points, and the problem is it all amounts to zero points. You have a chance to get in the game, and score points, but you stay on the sidelines, because ???

For a couple reasons or maybe many. One you don't believe me. Two you are so tied up in your life you don't trust there is a good way out. Trust is hard huh??  I get that, because how can a heart be changed??  How can you be made different if it is nowhere in your power to do so?

Security in numbers??  That is a grave mistake, because the numbers are not good at all. One just has to look at the stories. You may say not fair, and I get it, but we don't know is the seriousness of the situation. The stories should explain to us the seriousness, but our hearts cannot comprehend it. Our hearts are of this World.

As for me I have lived the seriousness of life. I've faced the worst things one can face. I lived in complete fear. My whole being was a life of living in fear. I've faced my condemnation. Really I just faced the truth of life, because that was my path.

In seeking out a better version of me, I went on a path I had no idea I would go on. Not a clue.

I just cannot even explain. I remember being told remember your journey, you will not do it again. Funny how that was said, because during the dead years I could not articulate it at all. Eventually that door was opened, and it was time to tell the story.

I know it is easier for you to stay on course with your current life, cuz it seems secure. Just realize this is just the calm before the storm, and really you are not secure at all.

You have been warned. In the end you are lucky and unlucky I guess. One is you have me and this blog. Two is you are without excuses. You have only one correct route, and if you don't take it you chose the World. Not everyone had someone like me to tell the truth.  Heck, I didn't have me. I was solo the whole way. In the end I had help, and really a lot, but I didn't always know it. Maybe just so I knew in the end it wasn't me who saved me.

I was obedient though, cuz to not be would be more scary, especially after the garbage room at Bromenn Healthcare.

Anyways, I guess that is it.


Monday, July 13, 2015

Monday Funday...

Good morning.

Holy cow, I don't think I feel like doing this. I almost shut it down.  I wonder why that is. Anyway Monday is kinda a funday, cuz it is a pretty easy day of work. Tuesday isn't horrible either and the last 3 days are pretty busy ones. It is the busy season though so in 6-8 weeks everything chills out a bit. I think it was Mitch who was saying there is a 1/2 hour of driving distance between Saugatuck, Holland, and Grand Haven where there is just a ton of stuff to do. I must be living in the wrong area, cuz I don't like hanging out at the beach. I don't have a boat, and really these days I am happy to stay at home. The best you can get from me is a movie, and go out to eat.

I guess you can say where did it all go wrong, but actually it all went right. People like to have fun, and do fun things, and on any given day I can do as I wish. If just so happens I typically dont wish to do much. I don't need to climb Everest to make a name for myself, cuz I already have a name. I don't have to prove anything to anyone, cuz I am accepted. I am accepted, because I was led through my trials, and remained faithful. I was obedient, as I was taught how IMPORTANT that was. I wasn't perfect, because I was so dumb going through my things.

I think the biggest thing about me is I thought I was special for a long time. It took a lot for me to learn my place. Really what I learned is I deserve nothing. It isn't in my power to save myself at all. I mean at ALL.

So I swim against the current. Trying to tell people the truth is a horrible job, because people want to believe everything but. People are not perfect so you gotta throw all the fairy tales out. Perfect marriages, perfect nuclear families, all that crap out. It isn't real.

What is real is you are in this horrible place.  People do horrible things, heck we do horrible things. Everybody grows up with some kind of bullshit inside, because just like our lives we were never perfect. Trying to tell people NO, you are not good enough is like impossible.

How do you even think you are??  That is what I'd like to know. There is a lot available to help make you a better person, but it isn't in your power. We think we are so strong, but it is our arrogance that keeps us away.

People are not impressive at all from where I stand, and that is cause I know me, and how pathetic I was compared to how good I can be. Right now you are nowhere. You are how you have always been, and as you get older that ends up just being worse.

And to think we think we are all that...


All right I am out.


Saturday, July 11, 2015

This May Be A Post I Delete...

I have nothing on my mind, and I have no idea what I will write about. I love Fridays cuz I can sleep as long as I want. The other days of the week I try to be up at 3:00 am. So that is kinda nice.

That is what I did today I slept. We were going to go out to breakfast at my main employer, but I think well just sleep. I'll go to the farmers market though.

It just occurred to me what is with people. We use a filter. We show people only so much, because in our  lives we have things we are probably ashamed of. What happens if people get to know the real us, and our pedestal we use to prop ourselves up comes crashing down.

I've been doing this a while, and some people I've read a while. You can see life hasn't changed much. Life currently may be not as fun or as exciting as when they started.

Life is an imperfect thing. Perfection is not in your ability. You have one life, and I think it would be smart to leave no stone unturned. The teaching of the World is stop, you are "good enough" now try your best, or some crap like that.

People cling to groups as if to say, "hey we are the best"

Life takes courage, because your life is solo. Throw your groups, and flags, and whatever you cling to. The wisdom of men and women will not save you. Marriage certificates will not save you.

Funny thing is what will save you is getting past the point where you have nothing to be ashamed of. Getting past the point where there is nothing in your life you need to hide.

That is where you need help. You need to have your eyes opened to your life. As the years go on people hide more and more shit, and it takes a turn to have your eyes opened.

There is a way to a better you, but that is your choice.

All our lives we try to raise ourselves up, and the correct path will bring you down, only to be raised up better than before.

Also none currently are raised up really for me, cuz I know our weaknesses and I know what overpowers people.

Anyways, I guess I'll post this.


Friday, July 10, 2015

Kitties And Porcupines...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??   Me, I am doing okay. I had another day yesterday. Not much to it. I never did run, I just laid down for an hour after blogging. I did my errands, hung out and ate. Lisa had a work thing so she didn't get home til late, but not so late we couldn't go get ice cream. ;)

So life continues to move. On and on we go getting older. What do I think about it??  I don't care. Just this instant I am thinking of the difference between you and me. I cannot imagine.

Does life seem off to you??  Like shouldn't there be some reason we are here?   Trillions and trillions of people walked the Earth, and why??  A look at History is a look at people living horrible lives basically. Out of everyone's reach is the meaning they crave. As life goes on people spread out, and tried to throw their energy in little niches and stuff.

I can't explain to you the difference between how you are, and how you can be. If it isn't in your power than it isn't possible is how you think.

My journey showed me what is possible. What I never knew is I would have good labor before I even get what I want. So yeah I had no idea how these days would look, and I had no idea about my blogs.

It is a tough position being you, and many people I barely know. I don't know what you would see if you drank the Bloody Marys. I wouldn't want to drink my dads cuz he lived a full life, and now he approaches the end. A Lot of memories. A lot of fun. Probably some coulda, woulda, shoulda.

I don't know. Life is quite a thing, and there is always a pull to say "hey look, I did it right."  We don't do it right. There is only one right way, and you cannot see from point a to point b.

You can see you though, and if things don't seem quite right with you, like maybe there should be more to life, than you are being honest with yourself, and seeing clearly.

The way our path is we have to do hard stuff til you get to the good stuff, because we lived a life that filled us with layers of things that have to be dealt with.

I can't explain it better than that.

Anyway, kinda feeling lazy today so I'll just give you this.


Laterzzzzzz.  :)

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Some Things I Don't Remember.

Hello, and good morning.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I had another day yesterday, and really it was much like some other ones before it. Bike, work, hang out, eat, sleep.

Like I said before my Dad stopped by so we just sat outside and talked, and had a few drinks til Lisa hit home, and then we had dinner. Once again I was at a good spot and did not need any more drinks. I think there is a point in time where the drinking should end. It seems my body has an internal clock and just feels like stopping at the right time. It knows the point of diminishing returns so to say.

Anyway my Dad got old over the last couple of years. He still plays handball, and still works, but he doesn't seem to move as good as he once did. Talking to him you realize like me there isn't much to his life. Just years that have gone by.

I made a step a long time ago that changed my life. Led me in another direction, and it made me strong enough to be solo. It is what I don't remember. You people have families, and people read your shit, so you have to be somewhat politically correct.

My path led me on a solo path where my life is all me. There was no one to help me in my trials, and I owe no one anything. I am not hung up with the Worldly burdens you may have. That part of my life is over.

So if there are rules of how one is supposed to act about family and whatever they don't apply to me, because the real truth is way different than the best things men and women can think up. I am led by better things than what people may deem the "correct" thing to do or way to act. The rules of your heart mean nothing.  My heart is in different hands. It is backed with a blessing for strength, and it is made better with all that is true about our lives.

The fact is our lives don't matter, and I think Julia gets it better than anyone. She can do IMs til whenever, but she knows that will never totally fulfill her. Her heart yearns for something more of life, and it is exactly this I am pulling you toward. A good and fulfilled life with a content heart. It isn't exactly what you think it is. That is just cuz the World always pulls too, and the World teaches you wrong stuff.

The path of you is a life of empty years. The other path is a path of strength, acceptance, being content, and having no use for chasing wind.

So anyway. It was a good day. One thing I don't get is I used to be able to eat a lot. I only ate half my cheeseburger yesterday. I find that strange.

Oh well

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love you All!!!   :)

p.s.  Gonna take the Hopester. It is errand day so driving to work.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Love ya's!!!!    :)

MWAH!!!    :)))

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Next Up... 1500. :)

Just a classic example of chasing wind I guess.  :)  haha

Anyway good morning and stuff.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. My dad made a surprise visit last night, so I stayed up later than normal. I should have a pretty easy day at work though. They ordered only 50 lb. of sausage meat instead of 150 lb. I still doubled up on my normal stuff so I won't have to do that. Also I did cinnamon rolls yesterday so won't have to do that. Like I said should be easy.

Other than that not much going on. My dad is now 80, and 80 year old people get old. He's gained some weight, and you know our youth is our whole life really. One day we wake up old. At that stage what is left??

Visiting our house has to be a trip I think. We are laid back. We don't always do the dishes. The house isn't always ever fully clean. We don't really give a shit about too too much. Life is to be lived, and let the rule makers live in their stupid suits, and cheat on their spouses and hide all their activities.

I certainly don't care.

I thought this morning of my post yesterday. In my heart is a great sword. If in revelations there is a horseman with a great sword that is me. One of my jobs. If there isn't than never mind.  :)

It let's you understand me though, and that summer. I gave up my coin, I would drop anything anywhere. My life was not mine, and I believed all the bad about me. Salvation was nowhere near. It was not mine go grab, and it couldn't be farther away.

That summer was to build trust, but I was scared every second of every day. I had the sword way back then, and the sword does not save. The sword is for judgement and our path should lead through judgement.

That being said the route is not without fear. There is a great promise that it will go well for those who fear The Lord, and I tell you I used that as a crutch all the time. After overcoming the second time though the fear is gone.

Anyway just touching base. :)

Also just cuz it is a special occasion:

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)

p.s.  I am gonna relax a bit before I get ready for work.

Love You All.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

MWAH!!!!     :)))

Luv ya's!!!!   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D       :D

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

A Lot Yet Very Little

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I think I got too much sleep yesterday so I didn't sleep the whole night like I typically do. I am not tired or anything, so I guess I am good.

Anyway, being awake for a while I was thinking about a lot of things, but really have very little to blog about.

I guess I can let you know what I was thinking. I was kinda thinking of the only 2 avenues. One leads us away from judgement and one leads you toward it. All the false teaching would lead you away from it, and the correct teaching leads you toward it.

One is scary, and one isn't real. If you follow the way of the World you won't find anything. You basically sell your soul for one coin that will amount to nothing. If you follow the truth you meekly realize your weakness as a person, and hope to find forgiveness, and life, and hope, and a way to a better you.

One way you seek out your own greatness, and one you just seek out the truth.

I'd like to give you an easy choice, and to me now it is easy.

Life is hard. In our hearts we want to do right, and be these exceptional people. But the way to a better us is not as simple as you would think.

There is a life to look at. A life with a past. There is our imperfections to look at, and questions that need to be answered.

Life via the Worldly route is one of lonesome. We typically don't have the strength to let people know us, and really that is what we want.

No one is perfect so we all are the thief. Trust is important, cuz you have to trust the way is good.

It all boils down to the World or judgement. Going toward judgement you will find forgiveness, and going the way of the World is like just accepting being bombarded by a bunch of horseshit.

The World doesn't know the truth, because it is a way different way the two are. One way leads to wisdom, and one way just to your death, after the years of your life.

Anyways, I was thinking along those lines.  :)


MWAH!!!    :)))

Luv ya's.  :)

Laterzzzzz.  :)

Monday, July 6, 2015

I Think I Was Crabby Yesterday.

Hello, and good morning.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. Yesterday started off pretty good. I woke up early so I could go to work early. It is best to get everything done in the wee hours. I don't use an alarm on the weekends, and just hope I wake up early on my own. Actually I have today off, and I am up by 3:00 am. :)

Anyway long story short I watched two movies. I was tired, and just got kinda crabby. That sucks, but whatever. I just napped after a while, and then we watched a little tv. Then I slept some more.

What else??  Not much.

Actually, I don't have anything to blog about so I guess I won't.

This is post # 1398 though so one step closer to my stupid goal of 1400. :)

See how stupid my life is??   Haha

Cya laterzzzz.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

MWAH!!!    :)))

Luv ya's.  :)

Saturday, July 4, 2015

My Thoughts On This Day...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. I think I'll let you know what I was thinking yesterday. I slept an extra half hour.  I had time to take Hope, but I didn't. I did want to ride my bike to work, because I like how I feel when my heart rate gets elevated before work. I checked the temps, and it was 53 degrees out.  :)  I wore a jacket, and I was wondering how Jan would dress. She is a girl who rides her bike most days too. She had to go in super early so she didn't have time. Actually Jacob was already in when I got there, and that never happens.

Anyway we had a shit ton to do at work. Not enough time to get it all in.  So all hands were on deck, and somehow I got out of work only an hour later than scheduled. It looked like it was going to be worse.

I got home, and let Hope out, and Lisa pulled up with our truck full of mulch. We have a place that just dumps it in our truck for super cheap. I made a drink, she emptied the truck, and got another load. I had another drink. We decided to go out to dinner. I was in a perfect spot. I felt good, and told her we can go to the old people's restaurant by your Dad's house. They don't serve alcohol. She wanted pasta though, so we went to a pizza place by my house. I ordered a beer, and drank almost all of it. Couldn't finish the whole thing.

We came home, and I went to bed.  I slept good too.

There you have it. A day in the life.

Is there anything else I thought about. Yeah. Nothing really important. I think this shit has gotta be boring, but I am cool with my boring life. My heart is cool with it.

I don't get other people so much. This blog vs you = a mess.

You have a life, and there must be something of a redeeming value of you huh??

You did something right??

The redeeming thing of all of us is strength. Until you face the truth that we all are just like the thief on the cross than everything else you do is in vain.

Doesn't matter what colors you use, or slogans, or crap that has been handed down for generations started from people as bad as you.

Crazy World, and the craziest thing to learn is it isn't good. The life you want is not exactly what you think.

Anyways, I guess that is it.



Friday, July 3, 2015

Sleeping In...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. My alarm went off at 3:00am, and I slept in til 3:30 am. I don't usually do that.  :)

Anyways that is that, so what is going on with me??  Not much at all. Yesterday was a pretty good day. Work is busier than snot with the holidays coming up. Today is supposed to be ridiculous busy, so we'll see what that is like.

Other than that my life is still really slow. Not a lot for me to worry about. I was thinking of the 3 things I wanted since that one summer. I wanted life, understanding, and security. I have 2 of the 3. All I lack is understanding. That summer I thought I needed understanding, and all that entails to have security. I lived in fear every day back then, and I wanted the security of a full spirit again. Funny how I didn't need that. I didn't know that back then.

It was the blessing I received, which I didn't care about at the time. Once that took hold everything was much better. When I was told all for good, that meant my path was good. I don't have to be perfect to be right. I just had to overcome. I cannot overcome, unless my heart was in good hands.

So yeah, I am a bit farther along than you. How far do you have to go??  Farther than where you are now. That is for sure.

There is no coulda woulda shoulda. We all are wrong, and we have to find our way. Life is a tangled web, and we all get stuck. There is a way out, but not if you can't look at the truth.

We typically want to prove we are worth such, and such cuz of this and that, and we aren't. We are imperfect people with imperfect lives. Our hearts will judge quickly.

There is an avenue to a better us, but without trust it isn't going to happen. It is okay to have fear, cuz you have no idea what the other side looks like.

You have me saying it's okay. :)  you'll like it.

I mean really what else is there??  Your day to day??

That shit is just as boring as mine.  :)

Anyways I guess that is it.

Luv ya's!!!   :)


MWAH!!!    :)))


Thursday, July 2, 2015

Paralyzing Dreams, and Coffee...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing good. A little before I woke up today I had a night terror/dream. I was paralyzed, and couldn't wake up. All I could do was yell. "Lisa who is here??  Who is here???"  She finally woke me up. That never happened before to me I don't think. I think she told me it happened to her once before. Weird.

Also I am going to have a cup of coffee this morning.  So, that is the title part of my blog done. What else is going on??  Not much. Another day gone. I have to drive to work today, cuz I have a couple errands to run. Drove yesterday too for the same reason. It gives me a little extra time.

I try to get in people's minds with this thing, because that is where all the good stuff is.  Life isn't making political points really, cuz politics is a game if always failing. You just have to look at the game, and the costumes and know it is pr, advertising, and propaganda. People getting angry over everything under the sun. People going to War, cuz of wrongs done, and religious fanaticism. Our side is just as guilty. The religious people using the microphone are the worst people in the World, and they have the dumbest uniforms, or the nicest suits. I don't like them, and I don't like their message. They are all false teachers.

If you want to know what is wrong with the World it is we as people just aren't good enough. We will never live up to the good and decent people we would like to be, and really life is promised to be this great movie, but life disappoints, because we are bombarded with advertising, and fairy tales, and propaganda from birth.

Then people go out and get the white picket fence, and have some kids, and guess what??  Parenting is a job of failing. No matter what you do your kids will not be perfect just like parents aren't perfect.

Life is failure, and there only ever was one way to win, and the people never believed the messengers really. The teaching to my knowledge has been falling short for centuries.

So I have to come, and do what I never asked to do. I have to be raised up from a whatever I was to do what I do now. My walk was for me. I wanted things for me. By the time the Summer came around it was life, understanding, and security.

My life is not my own really. I am free to do as I choose really, but my heart is in other hands,  and it leads me in the direction I go. The direction I go is to lead you in the direction you should go. This is a job of failure, but my blog is strengthened with the building blocks, as was my walk.

Patience, endurance, steadfastness, diligence, and perseverance.

I received those building blocks that Summer walking around the track. It was given to me. I was done for the night, but my heart was in another hands those days, so I continued to try to walk. I fell asleep outside, and when I awoke I walked home being judged a failure.

That was a tough Summer, and I guess in the end I do have the patience of Job as the old lady warned me I needed.

I've lived with the worst of the worst in me. I've battled other people's demons in me. I know the scary part of the Spiritual World better than anyone, cuz it has been my job to live there.

It isn't exactly fun, and it also let's me know the people's shortcomings. Knowing me fully I know you pretty well. Definitely better than you.

Anyways after all this you wouldn't think I'd have night terrors would you??  

One thing of life however is you never know.

Long, so apologize for typos I cannot see to correct. Weird thing of phone blogging.

Guess that is it.   :)


Luv ya's!!!    :)

MWAH!!!    :)))

Laterzzzzzz.  :)

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

It Got Cold...

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. I have been blogging a lot lately, and I guess it just works with my schedule. Also I have my little push to get up to 1400 posts, and I think this will put me up to 1394 or 1395. It isn't important or significant in any way at all, but we all are weird in ways like that I bet.

Anyway as to my title,  yesterday was a pretty normal day. Work was fun, I biked home, hope went nuts, so I let her out to go potty, and then we sat out in the front yard. I left my shirt on cuz it was overcast, typically I'll soak up the rays. I have pretty good skin, so I never burn or anything. After a while though I went in cuz it was getting cold. Don't expect that in late June.  It was time to cook dinner anyway.

So another day in the life. Another day older, and another day of me not really doing anything significant. Life is full of a lot of insignificant days, and activities, and that makes up our life.

I don't have really much today, so this is actually a struggle. So I think of myself and my good fortune, and it gives me knowledge of what you are missing. A content life. I don't chase after wind, because my heart is made not to. I have no need to look over my shoulder to see if I am missing anything cuz I am not.  I am good.

I have a job to do, and I do it. My job is to follow my heart kinda, so I blog, and support those that need it. I look at life throughout the day, and give you the real truth about life. I give lessons that are given to me.

Really I am a vessel being used to do a job. I am nowhere near the person I would have been if I haven't done the things I've done, which are well documented.

So even when I gave this thing up for being a complete failure I was lifted up, and recharged. Why you ask??  Not cuz of me. This isn't my will, I was always out for life, and understanding. I was ready decades ago, but as the day I got the answer outside the garbage room of Bromenn Healthcare why I could be so far away. The answer was to save more lives, and you know what I don't know how that works really. I had my first 5 in 1991 or whatever, and my 2nd 5 during heimleblog, and now I am doing whatever comes after that.

Not my story. This is all for you, and it is because my heart leads me.

Anyway, I guess that is it.  :)

Love ya's.  :)


MWAH!!!    :)))