Thursday, April 30, 2015

Life Sure Is Full Of Ups And Downs Huh??

Hello, and good morning??  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I guess I threw up a zinger yesterday, and actually it seems to me that is the case more than not these days. Now you see my job, and how hard it is. It is impossibly hard, and to tell you the truth I am just a vessel being used. I have no idea what I am going to write half the time, but somehow someway this is going to get done. It will not be easy, and chances are your World will be turned upside down.

The truth of us is  pretty messy, and life has some major stuff that happens, and I know you all want all the "good" and "easy" life, but there really is no such thing. Life is imperfect, this World is imperfect, and so are we. Then we all have shortcomings that overpower us, and it seems to me the battle is you vs. you. Everything will be done for you, but that one step. It is the rich guy parable, except you don't have to do what he was asked, you just have to give up your coin that I speak about. It is one thing he asks, because your view of your coin is wrong. It is based on lies, and he asks that much of you.

I don't know what this will look like, but I'd imagine it is scary, because you cannot see, and I guess I'd be nervous too.

The thing is I've done my work. I am done, except for #3 of 3. Being on this side so long it is hard for me to keep going on and on, and you still clinging to what obviously isn't working.

You people have some tough things to go through. There is so much more to life that you have absolutely no idea about.

You can't really teach people. They have to go through their own things, but one thing is certain, if you are not getting better, and either is life.  That should throw up a red flag right??  

Anyways, just getting something down.

Have fun.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

You Have No Idea...

Hello, and good morning all. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. Yesterday kind of sucked, but all is okay now. I woke up earlier than I liked, but my heart is upbeat, and that is all you can ask. I'd like to tell you some good news about this World, and life, like all is hunky dory, but I gather you know yourself well enough to realize if you are as good as a person can be than we sure are missing something huh??

Here we stand on the same ground. None of us are as good as a person can be, but we differ in how we look at it. I know where I stand, and I know what I have to do to be the best a person can be.  You I am not sure. I don't know how your story will unfold if it will at all. That kinda sucks cuz my blog has been going on for a long time, and I think fear is your greatest inhibitor. You cannot comprehend how your life will look if it is different than as it is now.

You don't know how life will be if you don't cling on to the rules of the World we all fail miserably at.   I told you to be strong, and have courage, and to trust, and why not??  I am living proof it works, and also living proof it isn't glamorous. Also living proof your best ideas about your life you cannot hold onto if you want to move on.

It is a bad World, and I have a great ugly sword in my heart. It can be used for good with help, but on my own it is crap. The sword is worthless without understanding, unless I use it with help from one who understands it. He who lives by the sword and all.

Anyway this blog is all brokedddd because I need more from you. You are going to have to start doing the tough stuff, and it can only be done with a turn.  You can't keep on going the same old route.  It should be obvious it isn't helping you. The battle for you is underway, and you are listening to the wrong voices. You are being pulled, but you want the boisterous voice. The other voice might be telling you what you don't want to hear, and what you don't want to believe.

It will take much courage to listen to the correct voice, and hope you will have the courage to be obedient. Your life is not supposed to go on the path of you.

If it does, that is not a good thing.

Anyways, just touching base.

Laterzzzz.  Oh, today is coffee then run then not sure then work.

Fun fun. :)

Monday, April 27, 2015

A Pretty Normal Day

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I had a pretty normal day yesterday. Normal in I worked, and ran, ate tacos, watched a movie, watched sportsing on tv. Also normal as I sorta could see life as you see it. Not totally, cuz I am not like you. Those days are long gone, and I don't have the hang ups you have.

I cannot be closed, and also you don't even know you are closed. It is very dark in you, because you don't have any light. Much help is needed for you to get rid of the darkness, and you don't even know the predicament you are in, because you have absolutely no idea how I am.

So on goes your lives, and as you start your Monday I KNOW things aren't perfect. This is life you know. I know you are missing something, because I once walked in your shoes. Life is going on how come things aren't getting better?

If the most important thing in the World is to become a good person (not a career) why wouldn't you follow that path??  You can't can you??  You can't see a life where you give up control can you??  There is security in how things are even if your heart is lacking.

I get it. Your struggle wasn't mine, cuz I wasn't really all that tangled in life. Death, and my shortcomings, and I was alone. It was no thing for me to want to find meaning at ALL cost. It did cost all too, but that all actually = nothing. I didn't know it then, but I sure know it now.

If it comes to you making the proper steps, and doing the proper things, I am sure I'll be all in. You going on the same path = life just isn't that interesting, and either are we quite frankly.

It is tough to be you cuz strength, and trust are impossibly hard it seems. At the end of the day though don't you want your life to mean something?? Isn't that worth everything??  Isn't being made into a better person worth all no matter how difficult??

The lessons you need to learn are hard lessons, but all this stuff will make you stronger. Right now you are very weak, cuz the World controls you. You are damn near powerless against it.

Oh well.

I am out. Cya later.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

A Blog A Day Helps Keep Other Bloggers Away. :)

That is pretty much the only reason I blog. I figure if I blog almost every day, then eventually everyone will quit altogether right??  So far over the years I've been making real progress on that front. Ha!!  J/k.

Anyway, it is early, since I went to bed like 4 hours ago, but I am up, and really feel pretty good, and in a good mood. I don't have nothing at all on my mind, but I can always throw one of these things down.

I don't have much planned today. I'll take hope for a little run. I have a couple errands to run, and then work. I work both jobs tomorrow, so I'll be busy til Saturday early afternoon sometime. I won't come home and watch recorded Bulls or Hawks games, since I'll have to try and get some sleep.

A day in the life of this silly life. It is a silly life too. Funny how we have to overcome our own self importance and our own self worth huh??  It is all a part of being broken, in order to be raised up again. I gather many/most/all are not willing to do this. Life is too fun???  I am too happy???  I have so many important things to accomplish in this World??

Have fun with that.

Meanwhile, I sit on the winning side. Not burdened with what ifs, and stock portfolios, and college Educations, and new cars, and loans, and whatever numerous things fill up our minds. I don't need to squeeze in 20 hours of work, and 6 hours of training, and 10 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. I don't have the worries of little brats running around screaming and being brats, cuz that is what kids are. Sorry no one warned you.

Ahhh, life.  It doesn't come with any warning signs. It should say enter at your own risk, because this thing is a risk. Our hearts are of this World so we don't feel the risks. We are blind to many of the risks, because we are a part of this World. This is all we know.

It is a very serious thing being born in this World. The warnings are there, but the World has it's own logic. The World teaches as doctrine the precepts of men, and I believe that is one of the woes.

Anyway, I am sorry to take up your time. I know you have a ton of VERY important stuff to do.   :)


Love ya's


MWAH!!!   :)

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Leave Me To My Own Devices...

Heck I may never blog. I have nothing important on my mind. We got our state tax refund deposited, so I paid a shit load of bills today. We are all caught up on that junk. We get paid this week too, so there is plenty of money coming in. I did a rough budget in my head, and we should be solidly in favor of inflows via outflows. Lisa just got her 2nd raise of the year. I recently got a 2nd raise in like 3 months at my main job, and I got a raise at the grocery store.  Just give me all the moneys please.  :)

Who wants to read about that shit??  I like writing about it. I don't know why. Life stuff goes on. Lisa's mom is in hospice care. They will not save her life. Lisa goes every day, and she mostly sleeps. See how things happen, and I don't know people's end. The dude who lost his wife of a million years, and me seeing Jackie's window in her assisted living place. I was a dick to her. Now that I'm older I realize who gives a fuck about her lifestyle. Old people get old, watch tv and die. Just as useful as what other people do, and less destructive than what politicians and bankers do. She hurt no one, and was just annoying to me.

My dad's girlfriend of like 20 years died last night. She was a nice lady. When I used to go back and visit more frequently we would go out, and have some cocktails, and laugh.  My dad visited her every day in her hospice thing. I guess he is alone now. I never know what to make of my dad, cuz you know,  all people are weird. He was always aboutvthe next best thing. Take fish oil, do this, and do that. I am like fuck the next best thing. I think all the ideas are stupid.  :)

He's old though, and what do you think about at 80 years old??  All that is left is tv.

So in the end nothing we do is important. You ain't getting anyone younger, and we all die. A life is destined for zero points as we stand, because our lives are dumb.  :)

What you deem important isn't.

You are on your way to getting old. Many sought out the happily ever after, cuz we were promised right??

Nope. The truth is a lot different than you think cuz we all grow up being filled with a bunch of horse shit. Destined to have a mind full of crap. There is a better way, but dont try and tell people that. People are wayyyyy too smart for themselves.


Life,  it isn't what it's cracked up to be.

You people are missing something.  There are no points in the acceptance of people. You live alone in the body of work that lives in your mind. Not the PC shit you write on FB updates and what not. In the end you cannot escape you, so you might as well start dealing with you.

As scary as that may seem.

Anyway, that is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  Time to shower and do dishes. Lisa and I are going out to dinner too, since it is my fave thing to do.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D

MWAH!!!  :)

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Sometimes Coming Up With A Title Is Hard

One does what one can. Anyway, good afternoon all. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I stayed up and watched the Bulls game I recorded last night, and am just waking up. Life is all about sleep sometimes.  The more the better.

I have absolutely nothing on my mind, and I wasn't even going to blog, but I looked inside myself, and I thought why not. As I have said before, I am right. I don't know if that sounds crazy or egotistical or what, but I am right.

Then I figured no one else can say that so why not. That must seem kinda nutty I guess, but so be it. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to have someone like me doing what I do. Probably hard maybe. Maybe doubts and skepticism perhaps, but none of it really matters, because I am right. My path is well lit, and you will be pulled probably to not stay away.

The one thing you don't control is your heart. That is one thing that drives you crazy probably too. Why am I angry??  Shouldn't I be more like this??  Does a person who thinks like this, is this person even good??

There is a lot to your personality, and knowing how things are I know it isn't all good. There is so much bad stuff to us huh??  All the things we don't want either. Greed, lust, envy, jealousy, pride, arrogance. You name it we got it. How do we package that up nicely??

If this blog had a title besides the wait, I'd call it a tale of two hearts. Mine vs. yours. The night after I gave up in probably 2008 my heart changed. I was taken to my breaking point. I could not go on. So it was placed in better hands. As with most things it is the comic book version.  Kinda how we view these things. I have been taken to the non-comic book version of life. That ain't no joke I tell you. Shit is serious there.

I've lived a life of the condemned that one Summer. On the outside looking in, and reminded every second of every day I was awake. I slept probably 4 hours a night too. Not a moment passed where I wasn't  reminded of where I stood.

I still had hope although I couldn't see 2' in front of me. My path was dark. I did come out of it by facing my condemnation, and the end of my life. I accepted my condemnation, and knew my end would not be good.

Funny how my heart was given the courage at the right time to do the right thing.

The strength needed to do the work needed is not possessed by you. You need help, because the most important parts of life are the things hidden. We are a lie, because of how important, and how good we think we are.  How great we are being humans. We aren't that great or else we'd make it so our hearts were better, and not filled with so much stuff we don't want.

We are weak, and all along we looked to our shell for our strength, and I am here to tell you your shell is coming off. It will not protect you, and you have no need for it. Your journey is to stand naked of all the things you cling to. You won't be needing your blankie on this trip Linus.

It will be a good trip. It will be hard, but you cannot even imagine what it is like on the other side. Can you imagine to live a life without shame, because your heart is pure???  Not filled with the corruption and crap we all have.

It is good on this side, and worth more than any amount of coins. Trust me, you want this.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  I love sleep.  :)

Love you All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D       :D

MWAH!!!    :)

Monday, April 20, 2015

A Perfect Storm

Hello and good morning all.  How's it going??  Be, I am doing pretty good. Yesterday was just a perfect storm of me wanting to do nothing, and a lot of sportsball activities on the tee vees. So naturally I didn't do anything, and watched a lot if sportsball. I guess some sports~hard rubber~thingy~ma~jig too.

One thing I learned is it is hard to fall asleep when you spend a whole day couch potatoing. It is Monday though, so I don't have to be to work til later.

So yesterday I may have thrown up a doozy, and I didn't really mean to. Sometimes I wake up, and throw whatever is on my mind down. If you want to know the truth of me though I guess you can know. I think you people are strange. I find people hiding to be a strange thing.

Also I think it is kinda strange however long I've been doing this we really haven't even barely started. It is a hard job I do, and really quite impossible, but my heart is strong. I have no problem acting the fool I guess to let people know in my World they matter. I play the fool, because internally you have a set of rules that do nothing really but screw you up.

I should be like this, should act like this, people should do this etc... That is just poison to your soul. You want to find the truth of you, but the weeds of "I should be like this" drown out your voice.

The world is poison, and there is only one way out of the web of life you find yourself in. Trapped in who you think you should be somewhere is who you really are. That little kid you want no one to know about. Why??  Against the World and all the judging and bad stuff that little kid doesn't stand a chance, so we put on our protective shell, and tell everyone I am the master of my universe.

Who is so strong to actually show their weak side??

With much help and a heck~uv~a journey I am.

It ain't no biggie to me.

You got work to do, and much of it is of the blind type. To follow the path where you are not the master of your universe.

Courage, strength, trust. I been a preachin' that stuff for a while.

Anyways, just getting something down.

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I think I'll try to nap.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D       :D

MWAH!!!   :)

Sunday, April 19, 2015

A Day Off

Hello, and good morning all. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. I am up early. I will go for a run in a bit, after my coffee of course. Days off are pretty cool like that. Everything is up in the air. Free to do as I choose. I am not sure what I will choose to do, but I reckon I'll get some things done, and gravitate to watching sports on the tee veees. :)

I don't really have a ton on my mind, and really maybe even nothing at all. One thing I thought about though is how much do I even know people??  I got a comment from Doreen on one of my posts, and it made me realize I don't know a lot about her. That surprised me, because as many know as far is this blog goes there are none more important.

So I started thinking about people, and that us what this is. Blogging is so people who find you interesting/like you can get to know you. You go year after year, and people can get a pretty good grasp of who you are.

That being said you still won't know all of the person. As open and honest as a person can be they still cannot be fully known, except by one.

Is being known scary??  Is taken the path waaaayyyyyyt less chosen scary?? I reckon it is because it is a crazy path. Throw all the rules away. Also throw away control.

Control is kinda a crazy thing because how can you give up what you don't even really have??  Humans...  When and how did we ever come to the conclusion we were all that?? I'll give you a hint. It had something to do with being born on this Earth. You were destined to be fucked up, and it is your job to find your way back.

Lucky for you, you have some help. It comes in the form of me, because I have been singled out to be the last thing I want. A teacher. I would have been happy and content living out my years being friends with Lora. Living my stupid life, doing my little job.

Not really, but I am currently now who I was meant to be. I've graduated a school that hands out no diplomas, but the teaching and lessons are way better.

There once was a man named Khien Pham. He had the lessons of life. Some have the lessons of books.

The puller of the strings of life is the better teacher for those who have eyes, and those who have ears.   You have poor vision, and your ears don't work so well. So life will go on for you, but those two things need to improve.

How??  That is why life happens.

Anyway, that is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!  :)

Love You All!!!  :)))

p.s.  My wife is currently snoring pretty loud.  ;)   Shhhhhhhh. Don't tell her I said that.  ;)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras for Doreen, cuz I rarely give out extras but if I am to make an exception she would probably be #1 on the list. :) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D   :D

MWAH!!!   :)

Friday, April 17, 2015

Cuz This Is What I Do.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. I slept like a zombie. I mean I was out. Anyway I don't really have too much on my mind, but as my title suggests this is what I do.

Anyway I catch glimpses of life, and what it must be like. It seems hard. There is no winning life. It is too big, too busy, way too much stuff out if our control. Don't people feel overwhelmed??  Isn't it too much??

Life is too much. It is way too busy. You try to shrink it down to get some type of control, but you don't control life. It is why there is a lot of misery in the World. In our mind life should be fun. This is something we should enjoy, but the forces that be make it damn near impossible. When our main motivation is to make money (as a country, as people, the World) then bad things are bound to happen.  You don't need examples to know that is true.

We figured and learned somewhere the best we could be is an ant. Go out and work til we can't move anymore.  Live on coffee to try to keep up this lifestyle. Then you look around, and what people are missing is joy.  Where is the fun??  Where is the good feeling we have of ourself??

Look at your life. What are the things you are "supposed" to be doing. Do you have all your 'i's crossed and 't's dotted??  ;)

It is impossible. The World and we are all about chasing wind. There is no end. There is no joy in this path. There are moments, but they are fleeting.

I think life is hard. I gather it is probably pretty hard to be you. In this World there is no one I would rather be than me, and I would not want to be you.

I've done my stuff. I've done the work, and I went my crazy path that was set for me. In my route I learned much. In my path I had absolutely no control of anything. It is this scary and nutty path that I gained trust. As I've said before over and over that is one of the best things. One of the quid pro quos right??

Anyone notice the other one hinted at a few entries ago. The one of the coin we give up to get a better one in return??  Yeah, there is where you find joy.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  Not sure what I am going to do today. Coffee first, and then a run, and then we'll see.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D

MWAH!!!  :)

Thursday, April 16, 2015

The Great Divide...

Hello and good afternoon all. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. I slept good this morning, and now I have coffee. I'll take hope out in a bit for a run.

I think of how I see things, and contemplate how you see things, and I realize there is a great divide. You cannot come to my side without help. You cannot be like me. I am open, and able to be viewed. You are closed and dark. I know this cuz I was once too. You have no idea the difference of how I am compared to how you are. You've never felt what it is like to be like how I am, and you don't even know it is possible.

So things I take for granted as standard truths about this world and life are no brainers for me. Easy to accept.  The World is all you know so you try to find meaning here. It is a big place you know.  Humans are like little ants being busy doing their stupid shit. It is important in their minds to do their stupid shit in the little World that makes up their life.

You will not graduate an ant's life just doing what you have always done. Everything I am is out of reach.

Then you tie your life to just the overall need to be accepted in some form by people. Ants work together in their little World, and people not so much. We'll squeeze old ladies out of their retirement to line our pockets with money. We'll kill people for various reasons, probably mostly for reasons of money. We are human, so the things we do best are judge and hate.

Geesh even today I realize people probably look at Aaron Hernandez as a thug who hit his just reward. I look at him, and realize that dude is fucked up. Still though he just turned into the thief on the cross. He currently has an opportunity to be stronger than you.

His life is over on the outside. Now what??

Your life isn't over, but now what??

What are you doing??

You continue to look for that drug in whatever form that is going to make you feel good. That too is chasing wind, because what you seek is here. It comes in the form of denying yourself. It is easy for me as I stand on the other side, but you cannot see past your ant's life, cuz your little World is all you know.

You are blind, and you have a big log in your eye. It is impossible to remove without help.

It seems silly me being how I am, and you being how you are, but I guess it didn't have to be this way. When it came time for you to make the turn you couldn't hang. I went on to win the race, but much to my surprise there was no one with me. That is for many reasons I guess or maybe just one. You cannot overcome yourself.

You had one job.  :)  haha

That is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  Actually pretty much got nothing. Oh there may be typos. Phone blogging. It is long and there comes a point I can no longer scroll back to the beginning.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D

MWAH!!!    :)

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Who Knows??

My title today is because I have absolutely no idea what my blog will be today. There is literally nothing important on my mind, but typically I can come up with something. Yesterday was just a pretty ordinary day. I slept a ton more than usual. I got a little run in. Typical paces, maybe quickened up a bit. My first mile was 9:00, 2nd was like 8:18, and dropped to 8:10 for the last 1/4 mile.  I haven't lost much speed, even though I don't run a ton of miles.  Also I am sure my weight probably hasn't fluctuated much is my guess. Probably below 170.

Other than that life goes on. Nba playoffs begin soon, NHL playoffs tonight, and baseball is in full swing. Chicago has actually 4 good teams this time of year, which is a rarity. So that is just some of the little bit of shit on my mind.

I wonder how this thing will turn out. It isn't going to be pretty all the time, because that mirrors life. One thing I thought of yesterday is when I said the pace is slow on this journey. You know what that meant to me??  In this race of life our pace must get faster. So people may be in for some hard 'life' track workouts. It is these things that heighten our senses. It is these things that help our vision, and make us more into who we need to be at this time.

The life track workouts are there to make us stronger.  It won't necessarily make us better people, but it will make us stronger. Many people still cling to life is this good thing, so fill it with pictures of happily ever after. Life here isn't good. There are no good things to accomplish that equate to any points. We people are imperfect, this World is imperfect, and there is no such thing as happily ever after.

I don't mean that as a downer. Just stating fact. There is much pressure in the World to "try" and put our best foot forward, but our best foot is the honest foot. Anything else is just shit.

So yeah I had some worry in my heart over what I wrote. Hard life track workouts are not easy, so I expect some more hard things to come. You do remember how important my hard life track workouts were to me during my time in the early 90's. That was before the real hard shit I had to go through too.

Sometimes my blog is like that. It gives me a vision of where we are and where we are headed. I remember that one time when that old lady told me I needed to have the patience of Job. I wrote it is hard to see how great Job was unless you were able to walk in his shoes. When I survived the suffering of 6 days, and knew exactly some of Job's path, revisiting what I wrote scared the Heck out of me, so I turned my notebook over. Now I am not scared of that stuff. That let's me know I too have courage.

See this helps me too.  :)

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!  :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I really like the end of my night at work. 3 hours of do left. It takes me that time all the time, and it is a thorough job I do. A perfect end to my night.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D    :D

MWAH!!!   :)

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

With Spring Comes A New Day...

Hello, and good morning, how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. The reason for my title is last night at work I felt great. I had a pretty productive Monday getting some stuff done, and trying to rest before work. That always helps, and I think I want to try more on that front.

Before I go on many times this blog is about you people maybe without me really knowing it. I type this, but I think this blog brings out what needs to come out.  It is a strange thing I do here, and I sometimes figured this was the case in the past. This blog has the ability, (surely not my ability) to talk to many people at once.

I have to feel good about blogging to do it, and that is a relationship between me and the reader I guess. You gotta give me something of youth get to the good stuff, and that isn't always easy. Tied up and tangled in who we are is who we want you to think we are. Then there are a million gazillion trillion other things we call motives that cloud our little self.

How many people question their motives, and others??  Our hearts aren't perfect as far as that goes.

Anyhooooo like I was saying today is about me, and what I thought about last night. I want to feel like I did last night every night at work. Probably the strange thing about my blog is how I can come day after day. Also how I turned dark when I became frustrated when I realized no one was doing what needed to be done. So this blog has had dark days, and I've had to endure dark thoughts, but Spring brings a new day.

Now those who read this may think this old guy is going to get into distance running again, and grab some miles and miles and miles. That will not be the case as I have a chronic knee thing seemingly that currently allows me to only keep it short. By the end of the night I typically am limping a bit. For me, and Hope though there is nothing wrong with 2-3 milers.

Maybe your thinking I should take some of those pills from the east like you read from those hippie chicks, but honestly it ain't a big deal to me.  ;)

Anyway what I was thinking is just do shit around the house. Yard work and stuff. Whatever keeps me busy. Accept the slow pace of our little journey here and try to enjoy life more.

Me being active helps keep the a Winter thoughts away I think, so being active doesn't mean you have to be training for a marathon you know??

To keep the dark thoughts away will help me be patient too I think. Let's face it. You fuckers are slow, and I'll need my patience. :)

Anyway I guess that is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome a Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love  You All!!!   :)))

p.s.  I am pretty excited about this new me.  :)

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these coxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D      :D

MWAH!!!   :)

Sunday, April 12, 2015

To See Life With The Rose Colored Glasses Off.

I tell you what, that ain't no joke. I was just reminded yesterday of how crazy and stupid our short time on Earth is.  Geesh we live a life, and the years go on and on. Typically people spend most of their years chasing wind of some sort. Following a path that will never fulfill you. All of a sudden one day you wake up, your youth is gone, so on to the next biggest and best thing.

I am entirely convinced while we are out chasing wind in whatever form many lose sight of their life. Many probably lose sight of how fucked up they were growing up, and seek the comfort of their "group". Funny thing about groups is they have no bearing  on anything at all. Your life is about you and your deeds. Not the deeds you justify to yourself either as being your ticket to being the best person ever. Your deeds that make you less of a person than you'd like.

Trust me if there ever was a way to work toward my salvation or any sacrifice to be made I would have done it. In my younger years as life happened to me I realized the best thing in the World was to be a good person. How does one go about doing that??  Lucky for you, you have the answer. It just coincides with choosing if that is the path you want to take. Do you want to chase wind, or would you like to acquire a coin that is worth more than anything. It isn't man made, and it lasts longer than the coins of the Holy Roman Empire, or the Weimar Republic. Your choice. You stand at a fork in the road, and honestly you've been there for quite a while.

I know you want the correct path, but you just had to go out and see huh??

Well, I am here to tell you this shit doesn't get any better.  You'll never catch the wind, cuz there is no end.  Then one day you'll die.

Life is a crazy thing, and it will take people of strong character to overcome the lies the World throws at you.  The lies make fairy tale land seem like every day life, but it isn't.  They are just a good pair of rose colored glasses. You should try and take them off sometime.

Anyway, I think I'll finish my coffee, take the hopester for a little run, and then I go into work for a few hours.

Laterzzzzz all

Have fun.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo. :)

MWAH!!!    :)

Thursday, April 9, 2015

What If???

Hello and good morning all. How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. We got our taxes done yesterday, and that came out pretty good. The state will give us a good sum of moneys and the Feds will take our moneys to pay off what we owe on a screw up/ try to pull one over on them/ lazy bad filer from a previous year.  I am not sure what I owe the Feds, but I found a sheet of paper from a while back, and it looks like we'll owe them still $300. So that is pretty good. My mistake/ damn they found out was like $2500 or so.  ;)

We also set ourselves up to be pretty poor for a couple months, but to just get everything caught up and quit fucking around. When it comes to doing everything by the book and following society's path to misery and death I don't always have a give a fuck attitude. For little things to make our life a little easier though what the heck.

Anyway that is that. This blog can be about a lot of stuff, but why not what if??

Not the one you think about either. Not what if I climb Everest or did such and such a thing, or whatever you contemplate your arrival into Valhalla among all the cheering multitudes might be.

I say what if as you stand now you are not good enough.  What if out there are serious things you must deal with, because following the status quote of every other person in the World just isn't going to cut it.

What if I told you to become a better person than as you are now is possible, but not in the ways you think??  If you were to become a better person don't you think you'd be much further along than what you are now.

I am here to tell you what if isn't what if. I am here to tell you the tough stuff. We aren't good enough. Your hearts can be better, and the path of you is just a one way ticket to not what you really seek.

What you seek is meaning, and acceptance, and freedom from the chains of everyday life, and the freedom from the stress and chains society throws around our neck.

You want to matter.

You are able to become a better version of yourself, but it is different than as the World teaches. The path is one of humbling truth, because the World is wrong. We aren't good enough, and we aren't strong enough, because the World will judge us, and it takes a strength higher than our own to stand up to that.

Anyways, that is it for today!!!  :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!  :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!  :)))

p.s.  It's been raining a lot last night and this morning.

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D

MWAH!!!    :)

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Just some stuff.

Damn, I got absolutely nothing for a title, so I'll have to come back to that. I slept pretty good the last two mornings. Tuesday morning after lunch I got my 2nd wind, and last night after lunch I became inexplicably tired. It was strange kinda, cuz I felt great, and got a lot done. After lunch my schedule is set. Finish my night off doing the same things every night. Before lunch varies every day, and some days I have time for special projects. Stuff I come up with on my own. So anyway that is that.

What else is going on with me??  There always is a lot in ways, and a lot I don't even tell you. Some stuff about me that makes me different you wouldn't be able to understand.  Life is going on. Some stuff good some stuff bad.  Nothing horrible, you know bills and stupid life stress stuff. We do our taxes today, and who knows how that will come out. We should do okay I think, cuz we didn't make a lot of money last year.

We should be okay though. Anyway as you can tell I don't have much on my mind. Sometimes I can throw a doozy, and maybe sometimes not. How this is supposed to go is probably blocked. On here is tough stuff, and it isn't easy to deal with. This World and our life is set up so it is impossible to feel how we always want to. We want to feel good about us. To get to us isn't easy, because the World blocks that from our view too.

From where you are to where you want to be (even if you don't know it yet) is impossible to get to. The lessons of the day is to be human is to chase after wind. What that means is to be human is to never feel satisfied and fulfilled.

What you seek is available, but what I saw clearly the other day is how hard that is for some, cuz this stuff gets harder as our life becomes more entrenched. That is why my time was easier. Many know the story. So much life stuff and I was all alone. Trust and strength were the highlight of my blog, and you can see why you need both.

Your job is not to overcome the World, that will be done for you. Your job is just to overcome you.

Not easy huh??

Anyways. I guess that's good. :)

luv ya's   Xoxoxo.  :)

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Because If I Don't, Who Will??

The title says it all. That is what I thought about this morning. This here is a thankless job, and definitely one I didn't expect it to be the way it is. I am over that too. Why??  My purpose is more important than you. The reason for me doing what I do comes not from you, and probably doesn't need your acceptance.

I looked squarely at life this morning. I caught a quick glimpse of all the activities under the sun, and I had just a ridiculous thought about it. From which of these activities do you reckon you get points from?? I see it clearly, because I am different. I am not tied to the foolish wisdom one can only gather from society, and the acceptance of imperfect people. Points come from a higher purpose than your little life, but maybe you just can't teach people that.

Remember long ago I had a feeling my blog was a mirror. One in which you can look at yourself, and your life, and it will lead you in a good way.

This blog, and this mirror shows you are not perfect. It shows you how little your life is, and how insignificant we all are.

On this day I guess it is a good thing to see my blog, and what I do. I am imperfect, and still lack understanding. Remember there was one who came, and he had a good message. He was put to death for his message, cuz his message exposed the World. The a World hates the light, because the truth is the enemy of the World. The a World is full of pomp and ceremony. The World will have you think you are good enough. The World will never bring you to repentance, and either will the trail of you.

My message isn't perfect, because I continue to lack understanding. Funny how I am able to be used in this horribly imperfect vessel that currently makes me up huh??  With understanding I too will become the enemy if the World. The World will hate me then, because I will be a light of truth, and I will be more powerful than the sword.

This here now is part of my path. To be this way, and help bring people along.

Easy??  Mostly, because I have help. I am shielded from the horribleness that makes up people. Arrogance, and believers of false truths, and it is the truth that is the crazy part. The value we place on ourselves is very far from the truth. We seek trophies, and letters of acceptance, and continue to strive after the pomp and pageantry of society, cuz we have no time to seek out the acceptance of the perfect. Why??

Cuz we are waaaayyyyyy to important for that.

See??   You people are crazy right??   :)

Xoxoxoxo.  MWAH!!!  :)


p.s.  I used my phone, and didn't proofread. Please forgive typos and what not.

Bye all.  :)

Saturday, April 4, 2015

It's All Fun And Games.

Hello, and good morning. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay. I am up early, cuz I didn't really work too much yesterday, and actually I was done by 3:00 PM. So that is kinda nutty for me, and today I'll work for like 3-4 hours, and I have tomorrow off.

For those who read this, and I assume there are a couple, you may notice I don't do this thing as much as I used to. It occurred to me this morning the reason. It is because it is a waste of time. So then I started thinking about my life, and the things I do, and I realize I need to get over myself.

My whole life is a long string if wasting time. That is what life is. Our time on Earth is just that. I think that is what I have been saying, and the people still cling. Many people are salespeople. See, I do this and this and this so I matter. Kinda what I have been saying about the coin. Some, not all, are trying to sell themselves as a trillion dollar coin, and others are figuring it out.

The turn is trust. It basically states whatever the heck else that is on your mind is a waste of time. Those 12 had to believe. "Come follow me" means what??  Everything you do is a waste, but if you do this you can be worth something.

So I get it. I am a life holder who wastes a lot of time. If this blog ever did anything useful (doubtful) the time has probably passed.

I know myself, and I know who I am. I know what a life is worth, and sadly I know what yours is worth even if you don't. I know what all the activities under the sun are worth when you may not. I know many hearts are poisoned with lust and greed, and a desire for greatness. To be that trillion dollar coin.  

Of all the things in the World I'd say if you think you are that trillion dollar coin, and your life is that trillion dollar life, than you may be out of reach. I can't think of a worse way to be.

Anyhoooo, I am over myself.  This may be a waste of time, but so are our lives. We just are good at kidding ourselves.  Some people excel at that tbh.

That is my blog for today.

Nothing else needed to say or write today, because I don't like to waste my time.  :P