Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Today Is A Sleep First And Then Run...

Good Afternoon all.  How's it going??   Me, I am doing pretty good.   I was tired after work today, so I just slept.   Lisa came home early from work too, so she went back to bed.  I am only planning on running a little 3 miler today anyway. 

I got my 90 day evaluation at work, and I guess they will keep me.   :)  yay.  

I have tonight off, and actually feel pretty well rested.  I slept pretty deep this morning.  Anything else going on with me?? 

Nope just living the dream.  Actually things aren't too bad.  That is one of the things about me too I guess.   I don't worry about me.   I don't worry too much of how I should be,  and all that other stuff, because as far as I go, I am taken care of. 

My story is so strange, and very hard to relate to I bet.   We are coming from different directions in life.   Most people believe their worth is tied up in how hard they work, and I have come from a totally different angle.   I still work.   I still do stuff, and get things done, but I don't have to look over my shoulder.   Am I a good enough person??   All that stuff, I am who I am, and I will be that good enough person.   I don't work my way toward it, but it will just happen when the time is right.   Somehow someway the time is right, when you people come to terms with your life, you, your past, and all the things you need to look at.   You see you won't work toward this, or force yourself to do this, everything you need to look at you will see.   Everything will be given.  

That I write about these things almost 25 years after the fact I did this stuff is kinda crazy.  I had to learn a lot of stuff along the way, and I did a lot of stuff to get to this point, and I know you are a complete mess in ways, because you have a life, and a lot of plans, but you also have to do this stuff, and you have goals, and things you want to do, and decisions to make, etc...

I have put a lot of trust and faith in people they will do the right thing, and make the right turns/decisions.  I have been going on and on for quite a while, and no sireee did I ever know my life's journey would look like this.  I had no inkling.  I wanted a life that mattered, and that is what was created for me.   I didn't paint the picture, or create the story.  That was done for me. 

I show you my works with my faith, but that was a gift given me, as people typically want to show their worth with their works, and our hearts really are not that good are they??   I mean deep down and stuff. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  Another reason for running when I woke up is pretty mild temps.   It is pretty nice out now.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Yesterday Was Another Day In The Life Of Me. :)

Hello, and good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay.  I haven't got enough sleep yet, so I will have to nap tonight.   I worked last night, and decided not to run this morning.  I was tired, and my legs felt pretty tired to be honest.   I went on a long run yesterday, and that long run was 7 miles.   Amazing how long runs are huh??   Before my latest injury I don't think I was doing anything less than 6.5 miles, and now 7 miles was my long run, and it wasn't easy.   :)  I went at a comfortable 9:33 pace. 

I then had some stuff to do around the house.  Just typical bullshit.  One thing I was excited for is Lisa wanted to cut all the long grasses down, and I got that all done before she got home.   She was tired, and I was pretty stoked I was able to get that done.  Other than that not much going on with me. 

I am thinking of picking up another part time job.   It is a good time of season to job hunt, and you know I typically like working.  I am at the age where weekends don't mean anything to me.  Time off is time off.  I tell you what that is a pretty good stage to be at, because I know back in my College years and young adult life, weekends were weekends, and if I wasn't having fun getting shit-faced every weekend, I was missing out. 

So I read a couple posts yesterday of people trying to look on the bright side of life.   I think to myself, and I cannot tell if I am a positive person or a negative.   I am definitely a realist.   I have learned a lot of truth about life, and I definitely share that.  Maybe you wonder why I am the way I am, and that is all how I feel on the inside.  Not something I created or made or anything like that.   My path is pretty much all that was done for me, and really none of what I did, and that probably is the kicker huh??

I mean we should be able to change our ways into the best ways right??   That is what the turn is all about actually.   No you can't.  You are not in control of you.   You don't control your thoughts really, or else wouldn't we all be much better people?? 

There is a way to be the best people, and the path is one entirely different than the path of you.  I know you look at that big old World and you think how can I make my name??   Names of that sort don't really matter, because you know Julius Caesar had a name and who gives a crap about him??  Take your pick.   Gandhi is to be respected for what he did, but who thinks about him more than never every 10 years??  Anne Frank had a name, and it leaves a legacy, because she had a blog of sorts, and she let us know who she was. 

So I guess we do try and look at the positives of life, but maybe you should look at you.   What part of your thoughts do you control??  Say you want to go out and be the best person ever right now, but you know in one hour you will probably mentally flip someone off at least 10 times.   :)

Being good and decent people sadly is not in our power.   Something as simple as that.   Crazy huh?? 

I was talking about my old job to a guy at work last night, and I tell you what.   I used a lot of swear words.   Some things never change.   He is not the first person who told me I should sue them.   I was like blah.   I hate them now, and the less I think of them the better.

He did let me know we get a free turkey for Thanksgiving.   That is cool.   I love me some turkey.  :) 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I don't think I am going to run today.   Just going to take Hope for a walk.   I think I have run like 13 of 14 days or something like that.   A good walk and shake the legs out day.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D 

Monday, October 28, 2013

Well, I Guess I Was Tired. WOWzers.

Good Morning All.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.   I think I slept/stayed in bed for 14 hours last night.   Now that is a bit crazy.   I knew I woke up tired yesterday, but I didn't know I was that tired. 

Anyway not much going on with me.   I had a couple drinks yesterday, and cooked dinner.  I ate dinner and passed out.   Kinda how it happens with me.   A little alcohol, and a dinner = me go to sleep.  :) 

It is fun though.  I am running in a bit.   I have been toying what route.   I'd really just like to run my 8 mile route, but I don't like to take Hope that long, and I want to take Hope.  So we will see.   I can do my 4 mile route, and add an extra mile, and I can take a 6 mile route, drop off Hope and tack on a couple extra miles.   I think I will do the 6+2 mile route.   I haven't run the 6 miler in a while, and I miss it.   :)  

Hold on I made some coffee, and I am going to get it.   Brb...

Anyway I have some things to do today.  we want to cut some of our plants down and get them to the end of the road.  I have to do laundry.  I picked up stuff for an easy meal.  Hamburgers.   Haven't had them in a while.  I needed to pick up some cat food this morning, and I thought why not get dinner too.   So we will have cheeseburgers, and crinkly fries, and pork-n-beans, and pasta salad.  num num.   I am not a big fan of fries, so typically don't eat a ton. 

What else??  Hmmmm, not much.   I know yesterday was kinda a doozy probably.   I have a lot of stuff in me.   I was thinking about the light leaving me??  Remember how I used to say on bad days I can close my eyes and feel I am seen??  Everything is known, and that gives me strength.   That will leave me for that short time.   I thought about that this morning.  My final thing, and I will finally learn there is nothing to trust but one.   The one who overcame is the one who we put our trust in, as he is the way. 

I do pretty okay as it is, because of the strength I have been given, but the goal has always always been understanding, and that is what I always wanted, and there is only one way for that.   Seems kinda strange that I have been living this way for so long.   Known so much stuff, and it has always been kept hidden.  I know people cannot comprehend probably, because in some way we have to be special right??   Sadly no we aren't, but we can be made special if you are willing to take the trip.  

Seems like many people are still comfortable in your security blanket of life, but I ask you??   Are you really comfortable??  Are you really happy??   Are you really content??   I mean the opportunity is out there for you to be the best of the best as far as people go.  A life's journey of learning about your place in this World, and for helping people along.  You know the path of you doesn't really mean anything right??   That has been done to death right??   Soooo many people lived on this planet, and so many people have lived the path of them.   Few follow along on the correct path, because well for one there is no knowledge of it.   All the False teachings have always always fallen short, because people always always trust themselves and their limited ability to reason.  

Hard stuff sure, but I know I speak the truth, and I know me, and you know what?  In a limited way, if you read this then you know me too.  

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  time to finish my coffee, and then get the run part of the day done.   I feel great too btw with all the sleep I got.   :))

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Boy, I Really Don't Know What I Am Going To Blog About Today... ZOIKS!!

Good Afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I actually woke up pretty dang tired today.  I know I know, why not stay asleep??   I can tell I was done sleeping, even though I am tired.  One of the weird things about me.

Anyhoo, I did get a run in this morning.   It is different getting a run in before work as compared to getting a run after work, and before bed.  Easier running before work, but still a run is a run, and they are all pretty good if you are into it.  I am into it too these days.  Today I just ran 3 miles, and my pace was a stupid 8:42.  My legs were definitely feeling a bit better today, but I have no clue why I was running 8:42 pace.  Hope dragging me??  I decided to listen to my breathing after a while, and I wasn't going a real tempo pace or anything.  I wasn't going a plod along long distance pace, so not sure what to make of it.  Getting in shape??

So my title today is my title, because I have absolutely nothing on my mind.  Our personalities are such we need/want to find that something that makes us special huh??  What is our worth??  What makes us unique??  What is it about us that makes us the special person we know we have to be??

I hate to tell you what was taught me on my Summer of Discontent.   Nothing special about me.   Nothing unique that makes me stand out.  The truth of the matter is there was only one person who was special, and one who was strong, and one who overcame.   The rest of us are weak.   Enslaved to the lives we have been born in.  Growing up reading all the fairy tales, and life had to be good somewhere right??   I mean we are here.  We are special right??

The sad answer to that question is not really.  To get to the truth of us we have to see our true worth, and I have been saying our own worth is one coin.   Like that parable.  It isn't a unique coin in the eyes of the one who matters, but there are those special ones who will find the coin, and do with it as it was intended.   Some people stand out.  Some people are strong, and will find their way.  It may take some doing, and some life pulling, but you will be led in the way you need to.   It isn't easy, and it isn't a path of all smiles.   It is a path of the truth of life.   Such a simple saying huh??   "The truth will set you free."   Seems simple, but it is a lot more than any of us bargained for huh??

So, as I am pointing out how life entangles us all.   There is one who overcame.   One who came to teach the ways of being free.  Free from the tangles of the World, and it is a heck-uva thing to go through.   So hard to overcome us huh??   We are special, we are unique, we can do this and that, and this and that.   We have opposable thumbs, and brains that can do some pretty neat stuff.   One thing I learned too that summer is how small and insignificant our brains are.   I saw how little of the stuff we really see. 

Life went on, and we lived it to the best of our abilities, and now we are supposed to look for the other stuff.   The things you are seeking in life do not end where you think.  I know I know I write some tough stuff on here.   I have known this stuff for a long time, and I have lived it.   My path was to be like this for whatever reason.  I guess the thing that is really weird to me is why people haven't jumped on and said I am ready.   Let's go.   The pull of life I guess is more than I ever thought.  Then I was thinking why was it so easy for me to do what I have done.   Then I realized, life broke me.   My heart could see no good, and I wanted to be good, and worthwhile, and live a worthwhile life.   A life that matters.   I guess I have been given that, and still I really can do so very little which is crazy.   Oh, there will be a time where I will be able to do quite a lot, but that is when the wait is over, and I do my final thing.   Then I will be able to do a really really lot.   It is then that I will be full again, and you know what??    I don't trust the fullness anymore do I??  I don't need it.   I still have the final words to worry about. 

"Why hast thou forsaken me?"   I live in the light, and it isn't me who controls the light, but the light is in me.   It lets me know I am seen.  Everything, and when I do  the final thing that will leave.   Yet I will not be alone like the one who overcame, because for me to do what I have to do, I will need his strength to help me survive.   Those will be some crazy things.   I cannot imagine, but I am not afraid, and maybe that is naive, but as always I have been wanting it to be over.   My life's Journey has always always been about this final thing.   I just had to do a ton of other stuff along the way.   I didn't know, and I didn't lead, and I didn't author this story, and it was not my ideas.   It wasn't my story. 

So let's see what people's next steps will be.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.   Football Sunday with the Bears off??   I hope I get a CLE game this week.   ;)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction, That Is For Sure...

Good Afternoon all.   How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay.  I worked last night, and I work tonight.   Thursday was a hard day, but we will be able to recover a bit.  It just so happens big changes are happening this week, and you know, Grocery Store and Thanksgiving.   Yeah, that.  

Anyhoo, not much going on.  I did get a little 3 miler in this morning.   Like a 9:12 pace or something.  Legs were actually pretty tired.   They didn't really loosen up til around mile 2 or so.   Then I saw leaves on the grass.  Hope and I had to jump a log.  It was really windy, but 52 degrees outside.  I was tired driving home from work, but you gotta love Fall runs.  So I slept for a bit, and that was that. 

Soooo, yeah there were some things on my mind.  I know how this World works, and how life works.   You look out there, and you want affirmation that yeah, my life is right.  I am good.   On the right path etc...  I cannot give you that, because very narrow is the path, and few want to take it.  Few do take it.  Few find it etc...  

In the game of numbers I know the numbers are not favorable.  You may ask why, and maybe you think it is unfair, but it is like the apple eating thing.   It was real shit that was done, but our comic book understanding cannot comprehend.   I mean look at the life of the one who overcame.   It was a life of suffering.  

We are born into this World, and we have to overcome a lot.  We have to overcome our upbringing.  We have to overcome Society.  We have to overcome the teachings and propaganda of the powers of the day.  The thing is we don't do it.   We don't seek these things, because you are born trapped into whatever the powers of the day have set up.   I mean Anne Frank could probably see the truth a little more clearly, just due to how her life was.  

There is one who tries to paint a pretty picture of life, but that is to keep you enticed with  creating your own life.   It is a battle.  A battle for you, and a battle you must win.   The thing here is I can do nothing.  This is not my battle.  I have only been able to do so very very little, and I think what I was meant to do is to make you think about things different.   Bring your vision in the direction it really needs to be.   Not in the direction of me, but in one other.  

That is what I thought about this morning.  How little I can do.  That is how it is meant to be too, because the power to do what needs to be done is not in my hands, and it isn't in yours either. 

I know I know from what I say it means people are trapped.   Completely a prisoner of their life.   They cannot do what those 12 did.  It is not in their power.  Does it make you angry??   Life is like that.  You didn't do anything wrong, but you didn't do anything right.   You were not created right.  None of us were, but Society wants us to pretend we were, or we can work that way, and whatever.   What ALL of Society whether it be a Church or whatever has done is preached a false teaching.   Why??   None knew the correct teaching.  The path is narrow, and it isn't to be found here in this place.   It will be found though if you decide to take on this hard journey.   Not the journey of you.  

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Yep, life is a dangerous game, and the eyes don't want to see it, the ears don't want to hear it, etc...   Way easier to hide, but it doesn't help you.   Only direction is one, and it will take courage.   This isn't for the faint hearted, and yeah what Solomon said.   "Better off are those..."

Love You All xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D    :D 

Friday, October 25, 2013

Just Like That The Streak Is Over...

Good Afternoon all, How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good I'd say.   My running streak of like a little over a week is over.   It is kinda a long story, but I'll make it quick.   Lisa put the kabosh on running home by changing her schedule.  Our truck is in the shop getting a new for us driver side door on.  So I drove, and it was probably a good thing, because Thursday is always the hardest day, and we got out late.  I really would have liked to try it, but Thursday probably isn't the right day.  I figured I'd run when I got home some miles, but my legs were pretty tired when I got out of the car.

I can run now, and I feel fine, but no need.   I am getting in pretty good shape, and I will run something tomorrow.   So there.   The streak is done. 

So what is going on with me??  Not a lot really.   I think of all the things that need to be done, and I feel people are pretty timid.  Wrapped up in our security blanket of our life, and unwilling to make any drastic changes.   Those 12 didn't have any time to finish up projects or anything did they.   Final good byes as far as it appears etc...   Just the hippies of the day doing what was asked of them.  Everyone else was rendering unto Caesar.  

See the hold this World and Society has on us??  There are lessons in the sword of family and stuff, but I won't go into it.  

I had a life, and it was going on, and I was pretty normal.  I would say me and my closest friends in College may have had a bit of a weird sense of humor.   I could go on about some of the stupid shit we did in college.   Some of the best idea young men ever have are when they are drunk, and it is early in the morning.   At least in our own eyes.   ;)

Life was serious at times though, and I wanted it to always be fun.  A learning curve.  Life came at me real hard in a very short time frame.   I looked, and didn't see much good out there in the World.  Like Lenin in a way I sorta asked "Chto Delat??"  What is to be done. 

Besides starting any big Revolution or anything I placed my life in hands that were smarter, and better than mine.   Did I know it was going to be so important?? No, but I had a drive to work.  I wanted to be good at my craft (cleaning Hospital floors) like Khien Pham at the time.  Everything led to the garbage room outside Bromenn Healthcare.   Anyone remember what happened??   I have suffered through a lot.   I was persecuted for 6 days from the worst of the worst.  He lived inside me.   Nothing but how evil I was, and how I was the anti christ, and yadda yadda yadda.   You think life broke me??  Well this was about as bad as it got.   So I am doomed.   Like the lady told me I prayed to God like Job.   Please make it so I was never born.  Let it be so I was aborted before birth.  All is possible you can do this.   Or make 2 big pillars just smash me to pieces.   I don't want this life, and I don't want to be bad and etc...  

So after being dragged through the dirt by this I was lifted up.   I was made full, and I could do no wrong for just a little bit.   Lora and I hung out quite a bit and watched Country videos etc...   For that time I do have to say I have never had a better friend than her.  

My fullness was taken away.   I cannot go back to those 6 days.   I was afraid.  A lot of stuff went on, but I was led to outside the Garbage room.  I was a scribe, Pharisee, and Hypocrite.   The worst of the worst.   I asked how did you let me get this far away??   Anyone remember the answer??    "To save more lives"  

All for good, but what we are doing is important.   Your lives are not as important as you thing they are.   YOU DO HAVE SOME STUFF TO DO!! 


You are not good enough, strong enough, or smart enough to do what needs to be done.   I ask you to take this stuff pretty serious, because I have suffered a great deal to get this far, and pretending you don't see doesn't work.  Pretending you are all wrapped up in your life doesn't cut it.  

I mean go ahead and render unto Caesar if you want, but I think something else was said more important on the other side of that equation.


That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Ummm, yeah this shit is real.   This life is real with real consequences etc...  You have an opportunity to be something real special.   Not by walking your own path though. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Let's Start Off With A Run, Shall We??

Good Morning All.  How's it going??  I am doing good.   This morning I started off with a little run, I think just a tad under 3 miles.  My phone was acting weird.  It usually updates me every 5 minutes pace and distance, this time it kept updating me at random.   I was wearing running pants for the first time this year, and the phone was in my jacket pocket, so it was probably how it was bouncing around.  Also it stopped my workout for no reason in the middle, so I actually logged two runs, but it was really just one.  Low 9:00 pace.   As I had yesterday off, I may have run longer, but I am running home from work tomorrow morning.   Not sure of the distance, but the more I think about it 8 miles seems like it might be close to the distance.   Why does driving always seem so much longer than running and biking??  

I wouldn't drive my car 20 miles unless I absolutely had to, but I would run or bike that far at the drop of a hat.  I'd enjoy it too.   Strange huh??

Anyhooodles not much going on with me.   I got a lot of shit done yesterday.  I bought some salt for our water softener at one of the local grocery stores.   They have their own brand, and it is cheaper than anywhere in town.  People pack that shit in the craziest packaging, but at the end of the day Sodium Chloride is Sodium Chloride.   It doesn't matter what color bag you put on top of it, or how pretty the chunks look.   Also I changed the oil in the truck.   Fluids looked good.   I was maybe approaching being a quart low, but I am about 2 months overdue for an oil change, but not mileage overdue.  I think we only had to put gas in the truck like 3-4 times this Summer.   Actually since like April.  

A lot of stuff to life.   People seem like they are pretty busy.  A lot to do, and a lot to plan.   Never ending plans, and never ending things to worry about.  No wonder people need anti-depressants.   Heck you are living a life, looking for the right answers, and looking to live the right life, but at the end of the day you have little control over how you feel on the inside.   Good mood, bad mood, happy, sad.  

The answers are all right in front of you too.   Take away all the stress of what-ifs etc...   I know I know though.   You have your life.  You have to do this, and this.   People expect this and that from you, and well there is always these things to worry about etc...   Not to mention you may have a butt load of bills, and futures to plan for, new cars to buy, and houses to buy, and trips to plan, and yadda, yadda, yadda.   Life never ends. 

Kinda makes you wonder how those 12 did it huh??   They were no different than you.  They were just a bit stronger, and you are trapped in your life.  You cannot walk away from that, and thankfully no one is asking you to.   You are asked to do one thing though.   You have all these plans and all these things you want to do, but you are asked to trust.   Put you on hold, and trust one knows what is best for you.   Also if you end up doing it you will see all the stuff you once thought was important, really isn't in the long run.   The truth of life is so much different than what you understand it to be now.   You learn that stuff with a step though.   All you know right now is the best things you can think of.   There is one with higher learning, and higher understanding, and those types of things that you cannot even comprehend.  

Remember too the promise I was given when I overcame myself.   He said he'd rescue me out of everything.  I didn't know I would be put in the positions I was, but that was my path.   I walked my path since the early 90's.  Overcame much, and most of the stuff I've been through you don't know about.   All done in secret, and that is where he rewards.  

So anyway, I don't really have much else today.   It was a pretty good run today though, besides the annoying phone thing. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a  Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.   Making chili tonight.  I made meatloaf last night.  WOOOP!!!   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Coffee And Then Run...

Good Morning All.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.   I got a lot of sleep last night.  I am drinking a cup of coffee now, and then I will run.   Update your spredsheets and Data bases.   ;)  

It is like 36 degrees outside, and that is actually perfect running temps.   The only real cold winter runs are typically as you start approaching single digits, and wind.   That can sometimes get a bit cold, and you might have to add a layer or two other than that most Fall/Winter running temps are pretty good.   You will work up a good sweat.  Be comfortable etc...   Actually most of the bad running here in MI is in the Summer.  You cannot "legally" take off all the layers.    :) 

So what is going on with me??  Absolutely nothing.  I have the day off today, and really not much to do.   I will change the oil in the truck, and I think that is about it.  Maybe a couple things around the house.  Make a dinner and blah blah blah.   By noon I will have absolutely nothing to do. 

So on we go, except it appears I am the only one rearing to go.   Everyone is just sitting there in place huh??   Life as normal??   You know your life by now right??  It isn't going to get any better.   Actually the way the World works it will probably get worse.  This good enough for you huh??   Living in the shadows??   Stay hiding in the dark where no one knows you.  You have too much stuff buried huh, that it is just too scary huh? 

Yeah, life is like that.   We live a life, and bury so much stuff, eventually we wake up one day, and crap when did we get old??   What the Hell am I doing??  What is this life about anyway??    Well, I told you what life is about.   Life is about us poor helpless Human creatures living some sort of a miserable life, because Life is imperfect.   People are imperfect.  Children are imperfect, Parents are imperfect, and the only fucking thing we want to show is our good side.   A picture of us is like that pretty lady/ old witch picture.  We are all both those people.   We want to hide the ugly, because that is what the people will judge us on.  

Really the whole journey of us is courage.   Coming to terms with all the stuff about us. It is known.   The judgment of this World, and people doesn't matter.   There is only one who has ever been strong enough to stand up to judgement, and that is the path.   To be strong like him.  Guess what??  No matter how much amount of work/sacrifice you make you will not get you there.   No matter what you do you cannot work to perfect.   You eventually will be able to stand in the light, because all is known anyway.  

Right now the dark parts of you are afraid of the light, because people do judge.   Everyone seems to have their shit together, because all they show is the pretty pictured lady.   Why???  Because this World is not good for anything but one.   To judge judge judge.   You want to find your home in this shitty place???   There are better avenues to life, but you have to actually take them.   Throw away all the Bullshit, and go the correct, and fulfilling, and best way.  

Courage people courage. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I am now nice and warm and toasty, so I will go on my run.   Probably a 5 miler I am thinking. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D   

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Well I Didn't Expect That...

Good Morning All.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  First things first.  I was tired this morning after work, so I planned on just doing a 2 mile route.  One good thing about running after you come home from work is you know the temps.  You know how to dress.  It was cold and windy, so the jacket was needed.   Not much on the run, but it ended up being 8:46 pace.  I was kind of shocked.  My lungs were able to breath pretty easily the pace my legs wanted to run.   So yeah, that definitely means I am getting in shape. 

Don't ask me why I am running every day either.  I have no idea.  It isn't something I plan, but what the heck, as long as my legs feel fine, and it isn't like I am throwing 20 milers in or anything.  I will take this to where it leads.   I wouldn't be surprised if it is the Olympics.   ;) 

Well this blog has come a long way.  As we approach 4 years it still is kinda strange to me in ways.   I have been through a lot in those 4 years huh??  Have I changed any??  I think I have grown older.   As I start approaching 50 I am not into doing the same things I used to.   I still like to have cocktails, and yell at Twitter when the Bears lose or are losing.   I still blog most days, and definitely don't comment as much as I used to. 

Blogging is kinda a crazy thing.   People look at this shit, and you might not even know.   Lord knows it is hard for people to say they read your blog.  I always thought this should be kinda fun you know.  Everyone is so afraid of putting their shit out in the open, because we are all "supposed" to be a certain way, and you can get in trouble.  Heck I got fired this year for venting on FB.  Getting fired by the creepers is crazy.  I mean who looks like the bad person when something like that happens??  The creepers or the creepee.   I think the creepers.   The watchers.  

The World is kinda a crazy place.   It is big and it is powerful, and the World is more powerful than you.  You do not have the strength to overcome the World.   You don't have the strength to overcome the judgements.   You don't even know all the judgements out there.  Much of the Shit I went through was hidden. 

That is something about this blog too.   I know a ton of the hidden stuff out there.   Things you cannot fathom.   I lived it.   I have known about it for years, and right now people can only believe in what they see.  

That day long ago when I was in my bedroom laying down.   This was when the turn was already made.  My Birthday was past when Katrina and I broke up.   My Grandpa was dead, Mom dead, and that thing that changed my life forever.   Going through the eye of the needle.   A rebirth if you will, because if you can vision a birth that is what it looks like.   Then we had the night of the dream race, where I won the race.   That was like a sperm going into the egg kinda.   First to hit the tape wins, and I won.  

Of course I thought I was finally done.  Able to do my final thing, but no one could hold on.   Remember??   You were supposed to be with me when I made that final turn, but you couldn't hang.   So all for good anyway, because we have picked up more people along the way.  

So this story goes on.   It really is very very very much about you now though.   This is your time.   You have your own battles now to overcome, and you better be thinking quite a bit about life and death and all these types of things, because this Life is real.   Death is real.   Like I have been saying all along we have a long way to go.  It isn't the same old same old anymore.   We are heading in new directions, and visiting new places.   As always people will need to be strong.   Accept the bad shit about life, and accept the direction you must take.  

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I have today and tomorrow off, and I have no idea what I am going to do.   What happens when everything seems boring??   I think I'll make Lasagna for dinner.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   


Monday, October 21, 2013

Streak Is Still Alive.

Good morning all.  How is it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I got a 3 miler in this morning. I would have gone longer, but I overdressed.  I woke up cold for some reason.  I saw the temps.   It said 55.  I didn't believe it so I wore a jacket.  Man was it hot.   Oh well, the streak is still alive, and my pace was actually 9:16.  So it is going down.  I dare say I am sorta starting to get back in shape.  What does that say about the future??  I don't know, but all things being equal, I would like to actually have a good year next year.  One never knows what can happen in the next year, so we will see. 

So anything else going on with me??  No not really.   I am glad I am healthy, and glad I am running.  I work tonight, and have the next two days off, so I will get a longer run in on one of those two days. 

Some days this blog can be about nothing I guess, and that is what it feels like today.   A lot of times there are important things on here, and people don't really want to see these things, because well this blog asks tough things from people.  It tells you your life is important.  It tells you life is not all fun and games.  It tells you life is full of important decisions, and we want life to be easy.   We want to always feel well rested.  We want to feel our lives are on the right track.  We are going in a good direction, etc...   This blog is going in a good direction, but you people have to come with.   There is no watching from the sidelines.  This blog is about your life too, and decisions you have to make, and Journeys you have to take.  

I don't promise you easy rides, and painless pursuits.   This is hard.   Life is hard.   Life has tough stuff to it, and pain.   Life has pain, and it is these types of things we have to look at.   Why??   Not sure.   Has it always been this way??  Not sure.   So much stuff is hidden we don't really know.  I know this to be true though now, and for us.  

You have decisions to make.  You have life turns to contemplate.  All I can say is going in the right direction is probably scary.  What will be asked of me??   That is a tough question, because I don't know.  Will something be asked of you??  I don't know, but it is probably what you mostly fear.   All the tools you need to get the job done will be given you.  Courage, and strength, etc... everything will be given you.   You won't have to work for the important tools you need.   Everything you need is known, and will be given you.   You just have a little task to do.  Overcome you.   The ole I want I want I want, but your will be done. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I have a lot of crap to do today.   Guess I better start. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Sunday, October 20, 2013

1100, and The Unplanned Streak...

Good,*checks clock*  Morning All.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good. First things first, this is my 1101st post on this blog, so my 1100th has come and gone.  I usually try to mention milestone'ish things like that, but didn't know until after I posted yesterday's post.  1100 mostly mornings of me getting up to write this dumb thing. 

It is a good blog with good information, (if I do say so myself), but it doesn't really do much.  You know me well enough most times I like to do it, or else I wouldn't do it.   Yesterday was a pretty good post.   How do I get this information??  HA!!  That is the stuff that just comes to me.   One of the weird things about this blog.  Like I have said before I have a lot of information in me.   A lot of it is bad and scary, and I'd just assume keep a lot to myself, but that doesn't always work out.  I have known a lot of things about this World and this life since the early 90's.  I haven't shared a lot of it, because much of it is bad, and worthless telling about.  I have no fear telling of the bad stuff, because I already went through "Steve's Journey"   It was done, I am done, and well here we are.  You will have to go on your own journey, but you have to make the decision of wanting to do it. 

You are totally at a crossroad, or the proverbial fork in the road.  One way is right, and there will be no looking back.  The other one is wrong, and you will always always look back.  How did we get here??  That is a story in and of itself.  Many haven't even got as far as you.  Many haven't even made it to this fork in the road, because the World is full of false teachings.   Anywhere you look is false teachings.  I know mine is good, because it is not my own.   I have no motives, but to do what is in my heart.  I have come a long way to get to this point, and it was definitely not my life's goal. 

Do I score points with this thing??  I don't know.  Probably not.  I know I scored points with a couple other things I have been through.  This is to help, but probably doesn't give me any points of any kind that I know, but maybe it does too. I have no idea. 

So anyway the streak.  I have run 5 days in a row.   The last two mornings were after work.   Why??   I don't know.   It is definitely not in my plan to run 5 days in a row, but I feel good, so why not.   I will run again tomorrow probably too.  :)  I don't work tonight.  My first Sunday night off in quite a while. 

Anyhoo, just touching base. 

Today I am going to watch football.   I will eat early, and probably fall asleep early too.   I am on 2 hours of sleep.   I run in the morning, because this is how I sleep 3rd shift.  I don't feel I will want to run on 2 and 3 hours of sleep.   I don't feel too bad though.  

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :) 

p.s.   I cannot help but think the Tigers would have won 3 World Series in a row if Ozzie Guillen was the manager.   Leyland just doesn't have what it takes.   Oh well.  GO BEARS!!! 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D  

Saturday, October 19, 2013

As Life Goes On...

Good Afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am so so.  You know how it is.  I have blog so I write.  People's lives go on.  It seems people want to keep their head in the sand.  Pretend all the World is good, and all the people are good, and turn a blind eye to what actually is out in the World. 

It seems all their past they bury.  I don't want to look, and I don't want to deal, because it hurts it is scary etc...   Have you looked into the future??  What do you see??  What great paradise is your life going to be in 20 years??

Will you be alive??  If you answered yes, how do you know??  Will your children be alive??   If you answered yes, how do you know??

Life has a lot of serious shit in it, and you cannot escape it.   I told you all the bad shit that happens and has happened has to be dealt with, and here is the kicker.   I am guessing you cannot see it, and you cannot deal with it, because that avenue is blocked.   Why is it blocked??

Because you are stubborn, willful, and all those other types of things.   So all these things I say you are going to have to do you cannot.   That is the dead end I was talking about.  You are going nowhere.   You cannot go one more step, because the vision is locked, until you open yourself up with what I have been saying. 

I don't know why people don't take this stuff serious.  It is very serious, and what part of life is all fun and games?? 

So anyway, I am pretty disappointed today in people.   Wanting to hide their head in the sand is no way to live.   I mean sure we can hide stuff with our smiles and stuff, but stopping at this point you will miss out on all the best parts of you. 

Remember that parable of the coin??   Well that is you.  You are worth one coin, and you have buried it for safe keeping.  Oooops.   One blind step will take you in the direction you need to go.  There may be tests of obedience, but your heart will be given the strength to do the right thing.   My acts of obedience were my heart being led in the upright paths.   There was a pull to go the wrong way, but the stronger voice won out.   I listened, and my heart did what was right. 

So, like I say we have a long way to go.  You have your coined buried in the sand, and that makes it worth nothing. 

Oh well.

That is all I got for today. 

cya tomorrow maybe. 

Friday, October 18, 2013

Blogging In Style... Orrrrr the cat just pooped. *gag*

Good Morning All.  How's it going??  Me, I guess I am doing okay, besides the stinky cat butt pooping thing I smell.  Witto Wisa and Rosie Posie are stinky butt poopy cats.   BLAH!!!

Anyway I went on a little run. A little under 3 miles.  I didn't feel like going longer today, and it was my first 3 day in a row of running in a while, so.  Mostly I didn't feel like going longer.   ;) 

So let's talk about this blog.   I am a person who goes with the flow.   The flow of how I am day in day out.   It is part of my whole life.  Getting to this point where I can trust everything.   I have a promise that some may or may not believe.  This is the hard part of the blog though.   This is a hard blog to believe.  Oh, it makes sense I know that, but it has some hard things in it. 

I DO NOT ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT.   This crap at this point seems like it should be easy, but I forget it isn't. 

You see how powerless I am though huh??  In your life you have to be pulled in a certain way to get to where you need to be.   I pull on this blog, and have been for a long time, but it doesn't really do anything does it?? 

You all have a life, and it is important to you.  You want to make the most out of it.  I get that.  Been there.  Now you know life kinda broke me down in my younger years to where some stuff for me was easy.   Then Life really really broke me down.  I was given strength, energy, courage, etc... to do what needed to be done.   All my worth is tied up in how I am made.   In life we want to be the moulder of our future, and of our life, and I took the different way huh??  

Guess which way is the winning way??  

So anyway tough stuff in this blog I know.   Who can believe one person with one story claiming to know one truth?? 

One who found the only one true path out of all the people in the World out there, and those who have come before.  

It does make sense huh??  I mean the whole math of it is crazy stupid.   Why dumb ole me?? 

Anyway everything will work out.   There probably is an easy way, but I don't think it is all that easy for people to do it that way, so I would imagine some strings need to be pulled to have people open their eyes and stuff. 

So We'll see.   I keep waiting to get to the real good stuff.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I am going to make Lisa some french toast for breakfast.  She is off today, just not sure what time.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Where Do We Go From Here??

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I got a nice early 5 miler in already this morning.   I am slow.   It is a double up of 5 milers though so that is good.   Yesterday was like 10:teen'ish pace, and today was like 9:53.  Seems strange to think I used to run 8:30-8:40 as an easy pace a few years ago.  Oh well.  I do have to say I do like running early early morning.  It is peaceful.  

I have a plan too for my runs when I work.   I need to run after work.  Nothing huge, but maybe little 3 milers and such before I go to bed.   I know sometimes I will be too tired, but sometimes I am not.   I know well enough I won't get a ton of sleep in the morning, and I will not feel like running on like 3 hours of sleep.  I can do longer runs on days off. 

There is something about starting a day off with a run though isn't there??  Something magical about it huh??  I saw 3 deer a block from my house too.  That was pretty strange.   We don't see many deer in my neighborhood.   You see plenty of deer, just not next to all these houses.   That was pretty strange.   Pretty scary to see at 3:00 AM too. 

So where do we go from here??  Wanna know what I think??   I think we hit a dead end.   There is no turning back now.   You cannot go back to a time where you thought life was easier.   We are smack dab in the middle of life.  You need to move forward, but you cannot do it as you are.   You have gone as far as you can.   You have nothing else to show... as far as I can tell.   You have more to show, but it has to be shown to you, and you have to be willing to take that step.  Are you?? 

You have a whole story to tell, and it is impossible to tell it as you are, because the story is a hard story to tell, and people are watching, and who has the courage to do it on their own. 

I have been saying you need help to do what needs to be done.  You cannot work your way to a better you.   There are steps, and avenues that need to be traveled, and you cannot see these steps, and you don't know these avenues.   One does have vision of these things, and he wants to help you along this path.   Will you let him??   Are you and your life too important for this type of thing??  

You have been living long enough to know if there is a way to be a better you it would be a good thing to take that way. 

All the things you are lacking can be given when you need it.  Courage, strength, humility, etc...   I know we always want to prove our self, but prove yourself against what??  We've all seen everything haven't we??  

So what say you??   Shall we move forward??  Are you willing to take that blind step.   A step that will need trust, and a step you will need strength.   Kinda been saying it a while, and my heart sure is many times patient isn't it??  

This crazy crazy blog.   This crazy crazy life.  

I hope I can get fast again.   That would be fun.  I hope I stay healthy too.   I hope I see you all on the other side too.  You have so sooo sooooooo much more to experience, but you cannot do it as you are now.  


That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!     :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.   decided to do something different for dinner last night so chicken noodle soup tonight it is.  YUM YUM.    :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Coffee, Blog, And Then Run...

I know I know I am unpredictable.   A day off, am I going to blog before run, or run and then blog.  I like to keep you people on your toes.  So what is going on with me??  Nothing at all.   It is early, I am up, and I have the day off.   I have some things to do today too.  Some laundry, some cleaning, I have to do some grocery shopping, you know typical glam stuff like that. 

Some days this blog is hard to write, because I don't have much on my mind.  Today seems like one of these days.  I mean there is absolutely nothing at all going on with me.   Nothing wrong with that.  So what are you folks up to?? Anything?? 

Why do I blog so much??  Good question.   I don't really know.   Do I have a lot of stuff on my mind, and others don't??   Do some people slide along with their life without giving  thought about much else?? 

Do you feel pain??  Do you feel sorrow??   Is your heart just luke warm??  Do  you ever feel lonely??   I like that question.   Do you feel lonely??  One of the hard parts of life is we really have no one to share our life with.  All the fairy tales say happily ever after, and the perfect match and stuff like that, but we all are humans.  We all are imperfect, and there is no such thing as a perfect match.   the best you can hope for is after being together for such and such many years you are still friends.   You enjoy each others company, and you still want to be with them. 

I am lucky in that way.  With Lisa I am always glad when she comes home from work, and when I come home from work she is at work a lot, and I go to bed.   When I come home from work, and she is not working she is still sleeping.  You can bet a bundle on that.  ;)  

I like that question about being lonely though.   Remember how I said people don't really know you??  They don't.  You don't even know you that well either.  We all seek acceptance from those we have things in common, but would the World accept you if they knew the real you??  All the secrets.  All the things done in secret.  All our secret thoughts, and secret wishes... good and bad. 

Would you want people to know this stuff about you??  All the hidden things.  Jealousies, hatreds, judgements, etc...??? 

I'd like to know that stuff about people.  Those are the hard things to share though huh??  How else will people know you though??  I think the things I talk about too work in this way.   When a person makes the turn their thoughts get helped along.   The turn opens you up, so work can be done inside you.  Hidden things you don't know, and you don't see.   You finally get taken over so you can see the things you need to see.  Deal with the things you need to deal with.  Without it you are going nowhere.   Your life will never amount to anything more than what it is now.  There will be no improvements, and actually you will probably get worse and worse. It is kinda how life works.  As we get older the ability to deal with crap diminishes.   It is like we live a life, and our hearts turn more and more into stone.   Hate and prejudices pile up, and then all of a sudden you are like 80. 

I'd like to know you people more.   Do you want to know you more??  Do you want to see all the things you are supposed to see??  Do you want to deal with all the things you need to deal with?? 

I hope so, cuz I think a lot of you would be really fascinating.  

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.   I am going to have another cup of coffee.   I am making chicken noodle soup for dinner.   YUM YUM

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Nothing About Nothing...

Afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay.  I have absolutely nothing to blog about today, so I'll just wing it.  So as this thing is going on I realize there is a disconnect.   What I write here to what people believe to be the truth. 

In your vocabulary are words it seems, like good enough, and well balanced.  etc...  I have been saying otherwise for quite a while??  maybe??  We are not good enough.   There is a path to a better you, but no one wants to take it, because of uncertainty??   Afraid of what my life will look like??   I am comfortable as I am??  I don't want to go into the unknown??

Maybe that is what this blog and I am about.   Do not be afraid of the unknown.   There is help, and there is hope, and this thing that I write will help you to a better you etc...   Many people are  very very sick.   What I mean by that is afraid.   Afraid to show their true colors, because life has you bound and tied. 

We are supposed to be a certain way, and that is what I show.   Behind closed doors though many people are completely different.   It is a sad state of affairs how much life has us bound and tied to be and act a certain way. 

We as people on our own are completely helpless.   We are completely worthless in the things that really need to be done.  That was always the case since the fall.  There are teachings out there.   Every single one of them fall short of its intention.  All teachings of this sort use the sword, and they have no idea what the sword is for.  It is not in our ability to understand the sword, and people should really really leave it alone.  It isn't the sword that saves, and we were always always supposed to seek the one who can give us understanding of the sword.   The sword is a tool.  The worst of the worst uses is it better than anyone.  He is good with the sword.  He is crafty with the sword, and there is only one who was able to overcome him.  

There is a path to this understanding, and a path to follow in the footsteps, but you have to be willing, you have to believe, and you must accept the way.  There are no half measures in this.   What is the most important law from the sword??   anyone anyone??  

That isn't a half measure is it??   It also says "those who love me are those who do as I have said."   That is a reckon type thing like faith and righteousness.   Outside the garbage room I was obedient.   It wasn't from love in my heart I did this, but the desire to do what was right and smart.   I was mad though, and I was a long ways away from where I thought I was. 

So the path may be bumpy.   There may be little hard spots along the way, because that helps us become stronger.  Part of the learning is, to overcome all you have to learn along the way how really unimportant we all are in the grand scheme of things.  How weak really and things like that.  

Not what we are taught growing up.  It isn't how we feel really either.   We feel we can do anything.  Our minds are a blessing and a curse.   Nice to have these minds, but they make us incorrectly value our worth.   One of the many many things to learn. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.   I woke up just a bit ago.   Had problems falling asleep this morning.   I have today, tomorrow, and Thursday off.  :)   yay. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D 

Monday, October 14, 2013

It Is Here Where I Am Really Alive...

Good Afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good I'd say.   I woke up tired, but am feeling better now.  On a work night where I work the next night I typically sleep when I get home, and wake up after 3-4 hours of sleep.  That is why I go back to bed before work. 

So Why the title of my blog??  I think this is probably the important part of my life right here.   I don't do any Earth shattering stuff in my real life.   It is mostly uneventful, and pretty stupid in ways actually.  This here is the important part of me, and that is why my title is like it is. 

There is a battle with this blog too.  A hidden battle.  It is to do or not to do.  In my heart is mostly the desire to do this, but sometimes when I feel no one reads it, I am like whatever.   I don't have to do anything.  I don't have to do this.  My journey has left me free to do as I choose.  I have no baggage holding me to anything.   I don't have to do this, and I don't have to do that.   I don't have to be a certain way, or pretend to be a certain way.  The freedom we all seek in our life I have.  How??   I have been led into, and out of the trap of life.   All the webs that tangle us I overcame in a way, although it was really done for me. 

In this thing I try to help others along, but there are small hard steps that need to be made, and people don't want to really make them.  Why???   not sure.  Maybe an unrealistic view of life.   Unrealistic in you think this life on Earth is important.   We are doing meaningful things and stuff. 

We aren't.   We are not making this World a better place to live, because it isn't going to be a better place.  There are things we do that matter though.   Our life matters in what we do, but what we do as people are mean and bad things.  We know this about our self, and we try to hide that with clothes, and smiles, and things like that.   Try and focus on positive things (in our mind) that we do, instead of looking at the negative.  Negative isn't bad, because it leads to the truth.

Are you afraid of you??   Are you angry at you, because you are not the type of person you think you should be?? 

I don't know.   I am soo very very very lucky to have gone through the things I have gone through just so I can live my life like I do now.  I don't have a feeling if I don't do this or that I would be missing out on something.  

There is nothing really important in this life on Earth we miss out on.   Bucket lists are futile, and silly, because in the long run they mean nothing.  What means something is getting to the real you.   Going through the layers to get to you

You will find some bad stuff inside you, but you have everything you need to deal with that. 

So in life we all are trapped.  All lives are made that way.   living our way into a big spider web, and we tangle ourselves more and more.   There was a way of being led out of slavery, and into freedom, but it is a journey.   You have to do some stuff.  You have to do some scary stuff, and life is that.   A lot of hidden stuff out there you don't know about.

Anyway, just touching base.   Not that you need this, but whatevs...

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.   The honest truth of this blog is the times it ticks me off there are also days like this.   I know this is important.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D   

Sunday, October 13, 2013

What A Week...

Good Morning All.  How's it going??  Me, I am okay.  It has been quite a week, and it got pretty ugly at times.   I mean inside me was definitely more anger and hate than normal.  I am not sure why.   Every time I thought of people I didn't like them.  What was that about??  I don't know.  

I feel better now, I think.  I think maybe sometimes I think this thing should be way way farther along than it is.  

So anyway where do I stand??  I dunno.  I woke up this morning not wanting to blog.  Sometimes I wonder about it.   What I thought about this morning is I don't want to blog anymore.  Let this be done, it sucks kinda and stuff, but I always feel like doing it though.   Can't really fight who and what you are huh??   I mean you can I guess, but that is one of those things where pick your fights right??   You cannot fight you too good. 

So anyway my life is going on.  I am anti-social'ish these days.  I don't want to go out and do anything.   I am not really into the bar scene or anything, and I don't want to hang out and drink, and stuff.   My life is way different now than it was say 3-4 years ago.   The same things don't interest me.   I am healthy'ish so I will have to get back running with my normal running crew probably in a week or so.  I take Hope for 3 milers here and there, and that is where I want to stay when I am recovering from injury.   I can bump it up now though. 

We had to put our dog down the other day.  That sucked.  It was time, but so many memories.   Jazz has been in this house as long as us really.  We probably got her the first week we moved in.   I love my Black Labs.   Anyone remember the story of my H.S. girlfriend Carolynn and my other Black Lab Toby??  I won't go into it, but that shit takes stuff out of you. 

It is a personal loss too, because I have had friends lose their dogs, and my heart wasn't as broke up about it as I was about Jazz you know??  I thought a whole heck of a lot more over the girl who just died leaving kids and stuff.   Seems like she didn't tell many people about that.   I mean she was dying, but she didn't let a lot of people know.   That I know.   strange huh??   Why would people want to keep that stuff secret?? 

Anyway losing a Black Lab sucks.   I won't be as sad when Hope goes that is for sure.   All things being equal we will probably get another one next year.   As long as the World doesn't end, and stuff like that.   You know no wars, and stuff.  

My life with Lisa right now is pretty simple.   We are in our twilight years I guess, and we aren't even 50.  I have friends and stuff with kids, and having more kids, and what a long, hard, trip that has to be huh??  

I am a selfish person with my time.   I have been since forever, and having kids means you cannot really be too selfish anymore huh??  

I don't know.  I don't have too much to say.  I am in a pretty good mood though.  I know I complain life is boring and stuff like that, but I like boring... kinda.   I don't care if I am antisocial, because I do okay here in my house.   I have netflix, and t.v., and running.   I watch sports a lot on the weekends, and I have work and stuff. 

Uncomplicated, and pretty easy.   Hope I don't have too many weeks like last week where everyone seems ugly to me.   :)   Sorry about that.   I can't really control how I feel though can I??   I didn't like a lot of people last week.  :)

Bye, and have a good one.   til tomorrow maybe.   I work tonight so it won't be til when I wake up.   I typically don't do much interneting when I am at work.  

Gotta run.   well not really, but you know.   I already got a little run in this morning.   Pretty nice out.   57 I think.  


Thursday, October 10, 2013

In This World You Cannot Speak What You Feel...

The World is a backwards upside down place.  All the things we think are good and decent sure are not in us are they??  In this World though we have to pretend we are nice huh??  We have to put flowers in our hair, and wear nice clothes and stuff, because we sure don't want people to see what is inside us. 

The truth is not in our grasp.   We cannot see it.  I can say what I say, because I know where I stand.   I am not scared of the demons inside me, because I know it is known.  I know it is seen, and actually it is part of my path.   I have to do this.   This is what was laid out for me.  Would I have done this??  Would I have planned this??  Hell No. 

Am I angry my path is hard??  No, because it isn't really anymore.  I had some really hard days though, and I still remained faithful.   I didn't remain righteous mind you, but faithful.   That is the one thing which is probably hard to comprehend.   Faithful isn't right, faithful is things like obedience.  Believing when spoken to.   Accepting instead of hardening your heart.  Faithful is the tough stuff. 

Tough stuff is life turns.  The thing no one wants to do.  Why??  You are afraid of what is going to be asked of you.   Will stuff be asked of you??  Maybe.   How would I know??  Stuff was asked of me, and I did it.  I believed, and I was obedient.  I was made a fool, and I was ridiculed, and people hated me.  Still do probably. 

Why??  Because this stuff was supposed to be good news right??  It is good news in a manner of speaking, but that doesn't mean this life is good news.   It doesn't mean this World is good news.   This World sucks.   People suck, and if we let everyone know the things we thought.  Nope better not do that, because we are "supposed" to be a certain way.   Flowers are supposed to be in our hair.  

To think you can do whatever you want in this life.  Anything you put your mind to, but it still = zero points.   Points are in the hands of one better, stronger, and wiser than you.   You trust you though. 

tsk tsk. 

Anyhoo, I am not sure of the future of this blog.   I have a feeling it will go on, but it is different now.   Things over the past couple years did not work.   This blog was an amazing failure.   Approaching 4 years of this thing, and it hasn't accomplished one thing.  Wanna know why??

You want to wear flowers in your hair, instead of looking at the real stuff.   Why??   The real stuff is scary, and we would rather hide in our fairy tales.  

Strong is strong.   Honest, and accepting harsh truths, and being brave,

Your path is to be stronger and wiser than the one who lives in deception.   It is an ugly path in a way, because life is ugly.   Truth is beautiful though, although it may seem ugly. 

Oh well.   Gotta run... actually already ran a 3 miler.  Perfect weather out again.   I loved it. 

Hope everyone has a good day, and hope you find the inner strength to do this Shit.   You have a long long way to go, and you haven't even made the first step.  

Laterzzzzzzzzz Gaterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.   :)   xoxo

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

There Was A Movie Called The Ugly Truth...

How fitting of a title too.   The truth is ugly.  We as people are ugly.  Been a bad stretch around here too, because as I think of some, actually a lot of people who were once important parts of this blog they have been looking quite ugly to me.   I look at things different here too.   I look at how people are as persons.  You may want to get all tangled up with how you look on the outside, but the important stuff is on the inside.  

What makes a person ugly??   Being fabulous.   Showing how fabulous we are as people.   The truth is ugly.   We have ugly stuff on the inside of us, and we were always supposed to look at that.   We were always supposed to see it, and we were always supposed to ask for help, and ask for forgiveness, because the ugly inside us overpowers us.   Society has forever and ever telling us to hide our ugly.  Wear a suit.  Put on makeup.   Don't tell people your dark secrets.   Wear flowers in your hair.   Wear nice clothes.   

Society has a synergy about it too.  Everyone is doing it.  Everyone is wearing nice suits, and telling everyone about their white picket fences.  At home though spouses are cheating on spouses.  People are doing things they think other people will judge them on, and keeping it a secret.  So many secrets, and the things we show people are only what we think is acceptable.  

Well ugliness lives in all the things we hide while we only show the fake parts of life.  Then you have the strength of Society which tells you don't be open.   Hide everything, because you may lose your job if you speak your mind.   While conversations go on in dark corners.   

Who lives in the Shadows??  Who lives in the dark??  Whose work are you doing if you live in the shadows and in the dark??  

I'll give you a guess.  

I am here to tell you that you are not strong enough to overcome the things you need to.   Society overpowers you, and fear overpowers you, and you are way to weak to do even a fraction of what you need to.   I have told you of ways to get on the right side of being right, but you were too busy.   You had your own life.   Too many things going on.   I have to do this and that and that.   

Like a thief in the night he came, but you were all tied up in your life huh??   

Life is a trap.  You have been given a way out, but you still believe in weak and miserable you huh??

tsk tsk.    

Later.  

Oh btw, I woke up for some inexplicable reason at like midnight, and got a nice little run in.   Only a 2.5 miler, but perfect running weather.   

It was pretty awesome, and I feel pretty good.  

Later all you ugly people.   :)    

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Running Out Of Things...

Well, I am running out of things to blog about, or that is how I feel this morning.  Maybe because I have gone on and on and on and on.   I've lived a life.  Listened when spoken.  Looked around for answers, and traveled the road set out for me.  I found some answers, and went through a number of things to get where I am now. 

I was led down a path where I was to learn many things.   I was to get to a point where I would be able to help.  The one thing I knew I never ever wanted to be is the thing I "sorta" have become.   A teacher is judged to a higher standard, and I DID NOT WANT THAT!!   I have lived through judgment.   The real shit.   The one where there is not an end.   There is no hope, and You are fucked.   Why the FUCK would I want to get myself into more shit than is already possible.   Well I did that even more so.  

So much I did not want to do.   I never wanted to speak another word in my life, because that is how we are judged.   I was scared of life.  I was scared of the SHIT that happens after.   I didn't want to be judged anymore.  

So here I am.   I have gone through more judgements, and been through a couple spiritual trials.  I have gone up against the worst from people, and they were tougher than me, and what is inside them is stuff they need to overcome.   I have nothing about me that makes me this great person, or worthwhile in anyway.   My whole worth is the turn I made.   The life I gave, and the plan laid before me.   My whole worth is me being obedient when asked to do something.   Me given the strength to hold onto nothing in this life.  

When all I knew was fear, I was given a path.  I lived in the Wilderness that Summer of Discontent.   There was nothing good in it at all.   Nothing in this World of value, and I saw the lie that life really is.   I remember somehow being arrogant, when saying I overcame.    I didn't overcome, but was given the correct things to say at the correct time, and given the strength needed in my heart to do what was right.  

Even now, even though I have become what I once did not want to be, it really isn't me.   I don't think these things through.  All this stuff is given me.   You may ask, why me??   No reason.   I am nothing of anything at all.   I am of no value.   I am no great thing at all, just like other people.  

My story is told.   I have done what I have done, and now we wait.   We wait to see you people get real about your life.   Start thinking things through a bit.   Start dealing with the you that is in you.   Not what you want to show, but who you really are.  

All these things you need to do.   Trust me,  life means nothing.   You get no points.   It doesn't matter what costume you wear, the important costume is the one hidden inside you.   Your thoughts etc...    Is that the best out there???   Have you worked on YOU only to find you maybe getting worse as a person??  

There is a way, and the way is not the way of YOU.  

I blog in vain though.   BECAUSE we have just this one thing to do right??  Wait til everyone sees me do this thing right??   I'll show everyone how great I am.   I will be the best ever.   My ideas are the best???

YEAH right.  


LATER.   

Friday, October 4, 2013

So Watcha Waiting For??

Hello All.  The desire to do this blog is getting less and less.   Not that I hate doing it, I just don't like it as much as I used to I don't think.   Who knows, maybe just a thing I am going through.  I thought yesterday's post just made everything clear.   Everything I have been blogging about for quite a while. 

You see how people are??   If I do this, and that, and this and that I am good right??   Look, I am doing this and that, and others are doing this and that, I hafta be really fucking good right?? 

Well not to the one who matters.  You are a certain way.   Your heart is a certain way, and it is seen and it is known.  BUT if I show this that's good right??   Who you going to kid???

The sad state of affairs is you can do nothing of worth.  Whatever you put your mind to doesn't matter.  No points for any of it.  I told you how to get points.  By being led blindly down a difficult path of learning.  Will it be easy??  no.  

The path I talk about is the hardest path out there, but the only one that leads anywhere.  The path of you is a short-sighted path.  Your vision is not that good.

For us to be in this position I have to assume your life has had some struggles.   It isn't all you hoped it would be.  All along you wanted meaning, and you cannot find it.   Why??   Life doesn't mean anything. 

There is a story of you waiting to be told.   The author is not you, and the plan is not yours.   Wouldn't you love to see what it is??

It has got to be better than the stupid boring crap you are doing now right??  :)  HAHA

There is no way around the turn.  It is either yay or nay, and for it to be a yay, you will have to overcome that which ties you down.   YOU!!


What are you going to do???  

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.   I have taken a few days off from running, cuz I tweaked my knee.   I know why though, so I won't do that anymore.   It is a way I kneel when I am at work that isn't good for my left knee.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D  

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Then It Occured To Me...

Well hey there.   I figured something out this morning.  I mean the info was kinda given to me in my thoughts.   It was about yesterday.  The old lady and the coin.  Remember??  That is you and me and everyone.   We are born with that coin.  It is up to us to find it, and do what is best with it.  What is the best to do with it??

Well first off what is the coin??  It is our life.   All the things we can think of.   All the things we want to do.  What is the best thing we can do with our life??  Well??   Anyone anyone??

You don't know.   You have been looking at the best things in the World you can do with your life, and you haven't found it.  You don't know.   Should've, would of, could of... blah blah blah.   You think there is something wrong with you, but there isn't.  You are supposed to not be able to find anything.   Like the old lady you must humbly give up everything, your hopes, and whatever things you can think of, and humbly give it back.  Why??   You don't know the best things for you like who you would be giving it up to. 

Do you have strength??  Do you have trust?? 

It is also like a seed huh??   The weeds of the World keep trying to block out this little mustard seed, but some will find the right way to let this plant grow up to be the biggest of them all right??   Some won't.  

Neat huh??

What are you going to do???


cya.   :)

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Geesh, On Any Given Day...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??   Me, I am doing okay I'd say.  I am up early.   I had last night off, today off, and tonight off.  Pretty sweet.  :)  I have a bunch of stuff to do around the house today.  I may watch a movie or two.  Maybe I will go to a matinee.   I have to pay some bills, etc...   Yeah,  I have to do the real life stuff too. 

I was thinking my blog on any given day can really go in any direction.   On a day like this my mind is wide open.   Able to think of everything and anything.  Oh this blog has gone on and on and on.   You may think things are the same as they have always been, but they aren't.   Your life is different now.   You know too many things, and these are things you cannot ignore.  Trapped with the truth.   Decisions you will have to make.  They are your decisions too, and your choices.   Your desires want one thing, and your Spirit wants to do right, and be right, and make wise decisions.   Your little voice has to win over you. 

I will not put a blessing on the things you do in this Earthly life for your own personal gain.  They matter not in the scheme of things.   You know what is right, and you know the truth, and the rest is up to you right??

I think I warned a long time ago this stuff gets harder and harder as we go on.  Nothing is going to get easier. Really since most people are just sitting halfway on the sideline maybe it would be easier.   Yay or nay right??  Then you know where you stand, and you know the decision you made.  If you are not all in, then you really are all out anyway.   There is peace of mind I'd imagine knowing you made a decision, and you stand to live with the consequences.   Although like the rich guy, he didn't really understand the enormity of his foolish decisions.   The one with the tears did. 

You are trapped by this World.  Trapped by all the short-sighted things the World makes us believe.  Looking for the fairy tale.  Something that gives our life meaning, and us meaning.   Something I can do on my own.   Let me show you my worth???   We are kinda born with one penny like the lady.   No matter what, you have to put it all in if you want that penny to be worth much much more.   If not you just held onto it, and you know I don't even think you can buy a gum ball with it anymore.  

Oh well.   Tough stuff I know, but who said this was going to be easy??   There was nothing to this life, but stupid shit anyway, and then we are 6' under.   Not much meaning is there??   If you look at the U.S. right now they have people from both sides holding onto stupid propaganda depending on the side, and acting like imbeciles.   I mean the answers are in front of them, but they cannot see it.   They let Corporations, and News channels owned by corporations, Military Propaganda blind them from what is true and what is real.   What is true and what is real??   This Country is stupid, and getting stupider, and so are the people.  

But hey,   I am just one person who has been going on and on.   Isn't it time you get off the sidelines.   Aren't you tired of just being luke warm??   I have seen all there is in life to see.   I have seen what you have to show me.   You can learn so much more.   You cannot show me anymore stuff on your own.  

Oh well.   I am out.   laterzzz