Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Sword In Bullet Style??

  • Not sure if this is a good idea.  
  • I am nothing, and I can do nothing, but I try to steer people in the right direction.   
  • None of what I do is thought of beforehand.  I have no agenda.  
  • The hard thing to understand of me is the two parts of me.  
  • Life is fun at times, but always always always would choose not to be alive over everything else. 
  • How??  It is the journey of us all.  With increasing wisdom comes increasing pain.
  • What does that make me???
  • What I have always been since the night my heart was taken.  
  • I am a tool.  Something that can be used.  I serve no purpose really, but support.  
  • I can support too when people give of themselves...  They can't though.  
  • Why??  Fabulous trumps all.   Humility wins, but we feel like we lost.  
  •  The hidden things that only one sees do score points.  :)  xoxo  
That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

 Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  The signature line gets typed out every single day.  I take time out of my life to do this.   Oh, and at my new job the 2nd in command is a 6 time Riverbank 25k runner.   I am pretty sure he is probably faster than me.   :)   Nice guy, and nice people.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Just Looking...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.   I am just kinda looking and waiting with this thing.  I think I get people.  What do we want out of life??  We want our life to matter, and to be the most amazing thing ever, and we want to be good people, and stand for something.   We want to be happy, and have a content heart, and Give a Shit too huh??

What is the best way on that path??  Your life you try to find the best way by making YOU the most important variable in the equation.  There was a story told long ago where that really wasn't the way.  Heck even Gandhi was quite a bit further along than others. 

Selfless deeds many times may go unnoticed, but they don't really.  All the things you do in the hidden get noticed whether good or bad.  I am not saying go pay it forward at a McDonalds thing, because that doesn't matter.  Pay it forward for your life though.  I am doing this little thing, and it matters to no one, and no one sees but one. 

What could, and would that be??   For me, it was during my "learning stage"  do a good job at what I do.  That really was just cleaning rooms at a Hospital, but I gave it my all.  I expected nothing in return, but isn't that the lesson of Khien Pham??   Patience??? 

In my head I wanted to be the best at what I was doing.  It was only a cleaning/housekeeping/floor stripping/floor burnishing job, but I gave it my all.  Wherever that lead. 

Well, it really led down a path I didn't plan, I didn't picture, I didn't visualize.  There was no 5 and 10 year plan, because didn't I put that in another's hands??  Where did it lead??

It led me to here.  It led me to right here right now.  I have become the best housekeeper in the game of life.  The funny thing is I put very little effort into it.  My job is not to make the best life ever here, but to lead others along a hard and narrow path.  It really isn't me leading either, but this is done for me. 

You think I could have done this/these blogs on my own??   Nope.

So I wait, and I watch, and I hope you come along for the ride.  A fulfilling life is, contrary to what others may think,  more about not what you can do for yourself, but what can be done for others as one works with your life. 

This isn't rocket Science by any stretch, but we as people are the people of I want my answers and fulfillment now.  Always been that way, and always will. 

You have it in you to do what you need to do.  Don't worry too, because everything you need is known.  That too is a step of trust.  When your life is in another's hands it better be in good hands huh??  Why not put it in the best. 

How important is trust as far as that goes??  It is everything huh?? 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I have a busy day planned, and my sleep is way WHACK!!   Should be fun.   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Monday, July 29, 2013

Busy Night At Work.

Afternoon all.  How's it goin?  Me, I am doing pretty good.  We had a pretty busy night at work last night.  My new job there is no down time.  I love that.  We ended up working late, and there was no way around it.   I think we did a good job last night, and we stayed over an hour late.  Only thing that happened is I wasn't too tired, so I played a little solitaire when I got home and slept til like 3:00 PM.  Pretty good sleep for me. 

Anyway, oh shit I sometimes forget, anyway I did run 12 miles yesterday.  It was the first time in a while.  I am glad I ate a Payday about halfway through.  I didn't feel mentally fatigued until toward the end.  12 miles is a pretty long run for me, and been a while.  My legs were actually starting to get tired.  I need to start adding those little longer runs though.  You think it is easy to get in shape, but it takes a long long time. 

Today is a day off, and I am off of work tonight too.  I have a perfect schedule this week.  Work, off, work, off, work off.  Pretty nice.  3 of the 4 days I work are truck nights too, so I will be busy. 

Oh well, we are going to have Tacos tonight.  I think I may have a big people beverage, and just chill the rest of the day. 

Don't you wish you were me??   :)   HAHA

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  some days you just have to throw something like this up. 

Love You all  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D  

Sunday, July 28, 2013

And On This Day...

Well good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing actually really good considering my sleep is all fucked up, and I haven't slept too much tonight.   The last two days I slept a ton though.   I mean seriously crazy-ton.  I don't know what to make of it, so I'll make nothing of it.  

Anyhoo I am up really early.  I bought some coffee, and a couple of PayDays.  Gas Station prices too.  The PayDays are for my run.  I am going to use them as energy.  :)   I plan on running some before I meet up with Ken.  I am thinking of 3 miles before hand, and making it a 12 mile day. 

For me, you know I am at my best when I can run some miles before the miles, and I am doing pretty good if I am adding totals to my miles for my long run.  WOOOO HOOOO!!!

So anyway today is my Brother Jims 50th birthday.  He died a while ago.  Definitely over a year ago, and you know I thought about him a bit yesterday.  Those hard moments of dealing with SHIT are so healing for the soul.  We hate to do it, and we dread doing it, but the World is full of rainbows and unicorns when you get done.  

The sadness of our lives is a necessary step for us.  If this blog is about one thing it definitely is about that.   If there is one thing in our power it is the power to by-pass that step.  We can by-pass it, but it leads to a worse us. 

I have been pleading all along to have you look at the mirror of your life.  Don't run away.  We do hide from our pain and our suffering though, because it hurts.   Remember the lady at Phil's who didn't want to look at her sadness because she didn't have enough drinks in her yet?? 

Yep.   Life has some tough stuff to it, but be brave.  I have been through it all, and I now live in a World where there are rainbows and unicorns.   :)  Okay maybe I haven't seen any unicorns yet, but I did see a humminbird yesterday.   That counts right??   

Anyhoooodles,  today is a running day, and that is always a good day.   :)))

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  coffee, rain, running, miles b4 the miles.   WOOO HOOOOOOO!!!    :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D  

Saturday, July 27, 2013

The Lights Went Out In Georgia...

Good Afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay I guess.  I have absolutely nothing to write about, so who knows what this will be about. 

I have some important stuff to take care of first.   Get this Country music off my tee veee.  There, classic rock station is on.  "Don't Fear The Reaper" is the first song on. 

Ooooh, now a Boston song is on. 

OMG today is  a struggle.  Why is that??  A lot of times my blog rolls with what I read.  Have I read something about someone's life that opens me up, and gives me stuff to write??  If no I struggle I guess.   I guess life is a hard thing to get to.  Many reasons for that.  We only like to show so much is one.   Our lives are so busy with whatever we don't even see it.  We are blind, because you know life in all it's petty little SHIT blinds us from the real stuff. 

Maybe that is why we need trials and tribulations.  If not we'd be smack dab doing whatever stupid shit we normally do within the confines of Society.  Not giving one thought, or hardly any thought about other stuff. 

In the past I always put it as people only wanting to show their fabulous side.  Now I think maybe people cannot see.  The World has snared you.  You are trapped, and you cannot see more than a couple feet in front of you. 

I don't know, but that is what I think. 

Anyway I got nothing, and I am going to call it quits here.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Shit guess it is time to get a bit of a run in. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya      :D     :D  

Friday, July 26, 2013

Can't Sleep...

I know what you are thinking.  Can't sleep??  You always used to blog at this time.   Well times are different, and so is my job.  I work at a different time now. 

Anyhoo what is going on with me??  Not much.  I did have a track workout the other night, and I was able to hit better times.   Even on 800's.  So I am getting a bit faster, so that was nice.  Really if I can knock off another 10 seconds off my 400 time I will be at a pretty normal place for the in shape me.  I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but it probably is.  I already knocked off 5 seconds in my 400 time from my first track workout.   I assume progress will slow down.  That is how that stuff works. 

I am blogging now, because I figure why not get it done right??  I kinda want to apologize on here, because of the way I am.   I expect a lot from people, and you know what??  I am not even sure what that is.  What do I expect?? 

Maybe our natural tendency is to show people we have all our ducks in a row.  We have dotted all our i's and crossed all our t's.  Guess what?? You haven't, and you won't.  Society is too busy.  There is too much bureaucratic mess, and red tape, and voluminous pages of laws, and policies, and procedures.  Who can keep track of it all?? 

Heck my last job I got fired for exercising my right to free speech outside company time, and outside the company walls.  Somewhere in the voluminous pages of Policies and Procedures I guess there was something written about Beware,  you actually don't have a right to free speech as long as you work for this company.   Who knew??   Who knew tyranny was still alive and well??  Okay,  I guess I knew Tyranny was still alive and well.    :)

Anyway as some of you know Ragbrai has been going on which means the Bix 7 is this weekend.  I won't be going, because I have a new job, and I didn't take time off.  Did you know Ragbrai ends the same day, and in the same town as the Bix 7 is raced??   Pretty cool huh??   Afterwards they have outside festivals where you can eat any number of various meats on sticks you could ever desire.   :)   Probably many more types of food on sticks too I bet.   :)

Anyhoo I just wanted to get something down.  

If you have time re-read Julia's  aka Go Big Green Must read update.  It is linked on the right side of my web page under Must read.  I read it yesterday, and now I know why it is a must read.  Actually, I will just link it here.   Hold on.

Here you go.  



Anyway that is all I got for today I guess. 

It is good to be alive, and it is good to be me.  :) 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  I sorta got a promotion yesterday.  When the Manager is gone I will be the P.I.C.  Person in charge.   It ain't a big deal, but guaranteed days to work I'd imagine.  Gotta like that.  :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I don't give many extras, but I read a girl Elizabeth Rich.  You don't even want to know how crazy our blogging "relationship" started.   Anyhoo she is a great girl, and I think those who read this and know her agree with me.   :)   I like her, so I'll give her a few extras.   xoxoxoxoxoxo   :)

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D  

Thursday, July 25, 2013

What Is Inside Me...

Good Afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I have nothing really to write about, so I figure I will just take a quick peek inside me to see what is there.  Now many years ago I had something happen to me that made me different.  This was during my tough time where I was going to make me the best person I could be. 

I was alone.  No girlfriend, it was me, my job, and whatever I did in the down time.  At this stage of the game I read the Bible a lot.  It was going to be part of the way I was going to make me the best person ever. 

I don't remember the timing of all things, but one time I was just laying in bed, and I had a vision of me, going through the eye of the needle.  I was like WOAH!!   Part of the reason is because I just had a vision.  I felt naked and alone, and it was kinda a birth of the new me.  I distinctly remember thinking that was the view of a child if he or she could comprehend, and remember what his or her Birth was like.  Through the eye of the needle. 

Anyway since I was kinda new to this game I guess I had to suffer some so I could see and learn some stuff.  I don't know all the reasons, but through some hard times I could see what it meant to be full.  Fully secure in who I am, and know I was on the right path.  Funny in a way I guess  is I feel that way now mostly.  Although I am not full.  I am poor in Spirit, and that is a blessing.  Why??  Many who are full will fall away.  They will trust themselves, and my whole Journey and life was to trust one other more than myself. 

So I had to do that thing outside the Garbage room at Bromenn Healthcare.  I had to have that Summer, and suffer some more stuff, and then a hold was put on.  My energy came back and I lived a life.  What was it 18 years of just doing my own thing?? 

Heimleblog started, and Journey and now this.  Anyway as to my title I still feel how I am different.  Every day, and every moment.  Even if I have a bit of a hard time I can feel how different I am.  I remember one time asking if you people have been through the eye of the needle yet??  A long time ago, and I think it was after the dream of me winning the race.  I didn't know what was going on. 

Anyway there is a lot that needs to be done.  At some point in time your World is going to be turned inside out.  My Summer a long time ago also put a lot of stuff inside me.  A lot of the knowledge of the life on Earth and the absurd/worthlessness of it all. 

A harsh truth gives you an easy going outlook.  When you really expect very little out of life you don't get all worked up.  I still consider this life to be really silly.  We waste our time doing a bunch of stupid Shit that means nothing. 

However there are important things to do.  How this unfolds I don't know, but it will.  It should be interesting, but maybe for a simple step you can throw away everything you ever learned.  Look at the World and life objectively.  Throw away all the I "should" be like this or I "should" think like this, because that is just poison.  That is the crap that makes us fake and liars anyway. 

The more this goes on the more I realize how much of a Bitch the truth is.  Why so hard??  I am sure there are very good reason, but our tiny ability to understand cannot comprehend it. 

This should be an interesting time.  If you throw the crap out.  The leaven that has been piled inside you since you were a kid.  We were always destined to have learned a bunch of Horseshit.  We all live in Society and nothing good comes from in there, but we live there.  There is a way out of all the Falseness and the false teaching.   Haven't I been going on about that though??

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  I have the day off, and I think I am going to relax.  :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D   

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The Ugly Me...

Good Morning all... errr.... afternoon.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.   This will be one of those posts you may like, because who doesn't want to see someone show you their bad side??   I know I do.  The World and Society is filled with people saying always be positive.  You should always be nice to people.  Always be caring, and blah blah blah. 

Some people take assholeness to a new level with being always in a bad mood.  Always picking favorites, always just being mean, but I don't like those people, and I tend to have nothing to do with them. 

So a little about me.  Now as some of you know a bit of my life... or none of you do, who knows??  One thing I realize about me is as I have said I have been through a lot of things, and many of them pretty solo.  I think I have said very solo.  No one knows, and can even come close to walking in my shoes. 

What does that mean for me??  It means I am not afraid of solo.   My solo journey pretty much means I can take or leave anything or anyone I guess.  There must be a reason for that.  Maybe it makes me strong, and there are probably other reasons too, which have to do with the other side of the equation.   YOU. 

Ever since this here blog started up I have been very confident.  Sure there were some bumps in the road, but I have been very confident and very assured of my direction.  I knew I have done all I need to do, and the final thing will be done for me.  

Remember how I said to race a good 5K you can be behind pace at the 2/3 point, and then you have to build.  That is how my Journey has unfolded.  I was to do something 3 times, and I have only done it twice.  We are past 2/3s of the way done, and have been since this thing started up.  I thought this was going to be done a long time ago.  I really think it would have too, but a couple/few years back you couldn't make the turn.   I was shocked at that actually.  Surprised. 

Now I know as this thing goes on it isn't a simple thing to do.  Why was it for me??  Did I not just graduate from College and have the World at my feet??   Could I not have done whatever??  I loved learning, and I wanted to learn more.   I wanted to do something that matters.   Peace Corp.??  Something.  I wanted to matter. 

That was so sooooo long ago, but I still remember it like yesterday.  Why was it so easy for me, and hard for everyone else??   I am not sure.  I have been singled out though to live a life of learning, and a life of suffering.  I was led on a path to find strength, and to search for the truth, and have the ability to ACCEPT all that the truth stands for. 

What do I want from others???   After yesterday's post I guess I thought about it a bit.   I am not sure I guess.   I guess I want more though, because Shit is a bit different now.   There are important things that need to be done, and I think people want to hide their head in the sand.   Keep it protected in our shell, because you don't want to see the truth.   I can say with almost 100% certainty you won't do anything harder than I have done.  That was my path, and that was my story.  It doesn't mean anything about me except I was singled out for that. 

Others have a part to play, and they really need to play it.  It is a serious thing we do with important consequences.  I think maybe people want to go back to a simpler time.   When things were not so scary, and maybe we felt a little better. 

Those days are gone.  You have to accept some stuff, and accept your route.  It won't be easy.  You will need to be brave, and have courage and all those things,  but shouldn't trust help you with all that??   Isn't trust like the best crutch of all.  To humbly say here I am with all the fear, because you know you are not strong enough to do what needs to be done.  You are so important to you, and the way is different.  

I hear you.  The path is hard, and the step is hard, and I know you are afraid you will be unfaithful, and disobedient.  Heck you already have been.  The story of ages ago is one of forgiveness.  It is what he wants to show the most, but there is the other side too.  

Wanna know a secret???  For those of you believers    We were created in God's image.  A dark side to us all.   There was one who didn't have the dark side.  He was created all light.   All truth, and could walk open and naked on this Earth.  (Naked is always metaphorically speaking)   Do you think that is why we have night and day??   Dark and light??  

Anyhooo there is only one who didn't have the dark side.  It isn't you.  It is this we need to get to know, and come to terms with.   Society says to seek the light in us all and be blind to the darkness.   I say get to know your darkness.  It is a part of you, and there are some things in there you have to learn about.  

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!!     :)))

p.s.  I am going to run on the track soon.  I think no matter what my schedule is I don't like running at 6:30 PM.  I'd rather do stuff sooner rather than later.   Something about me. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Can You See The Story??

Good Afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay.  Well, maybe not all that great.  I feel like pulling my hair out of my head.  I have been going on and on with this blog, and it bares no fruit.

Why is that??  People have put their faith in everything but.  They believe in this World, like it is some great place where the rules are fair, and actually followed.  They believe in themselves, and ummm, do you see you??  Do you see the type of person you are?   Compare who you really want to be as opposed to who you are.  Your faith is in yourself, and where is that written??

Where is it written believe such and such and now do your best.   Ummm, nowhere.   Everyone tries to do their best with what they believe to be a good way.  Do you see how crappy just the United States is??  You have like 4 Insurance companies, and they are run for profit, because the profit motive is noble??  Always leads to good things.  People aren't greedy are they??  The C.E.O.'s don't have like 8- $million dollar homes do they??  They don't like to bring in money like us all without having to pay do they??   I am sure noble systems are in place.  

The faith of men and women are in man made things.  Man made ideas which really in the long run are quite shallow.   You will not escape a tough ride.  People are selfish, and arrogant, and not able to face their own truth.

The best you can do in life is what??  What are you going to add to this Shitty World??  More hate??  More blame??  Going to add to people's misery??

Like I said I am kinda pulling my hair out of my head.   Look in your heart and see how you feel.   Look at the World and see what it has to offer.   I am not saying I "should" think like this, and I think I "should" think this way about life.  I am asking you to be honest with yourself, and take a truthful look at life.   Your life, and the way this World really is.

"Should" means nothing.   In your heart and in your eyes you can find the truth.  Do you have the courage??  Some of you obviously not.  Some really are too too busy showing us how fabulous they are.

I was just looking for the truth!!   Some painted horseshit facade means nothing.  Life is a struggle, and we lose.  The truth is an important step, and it isn't all that great.   Either are you!!   :)

Ya dig???

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  What do you people want to accomplish??  What really is worthwhile??  What stands the test of time??   All questions which must be answered with a view of you being 6' under at some point in time.

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D  

Monday, July 22, 2013

I Cannot Put My Finger On It...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty okay I guess.  I have a cup of coffee all done, and I am going to get it. 

So anyway last week we had horrible weather.  90+ temps with high humidity.  You know the kind of weather where you would rather be in A/C inside than anything outside.  So, I didn't run.  Maybe I would have run, but I was getting used to a new schedule, but I may not have too.  It was really gross out, and well, just gross. 

This weekend I had two good runs.  Saturday I guess it was warm at 82, but with low humidity it felt great.  On Sunday Ken and I ran 9 miles and it was in the 60's.  You forget how nice running is in those types of temps.  It felt so good, I almost thought of going out again on Sunday.  It would have been dumb, but that is how it felt. 

Anyhoo I cannot really put my finger on this blog.  What is it doing??  What is it supposed to do??  If it is supposed to be doing something it sure isn't doing it very well.  Maybe I am pulling away a bit.  It is something I do.  Life is a solo thing, and my toughest days were pretty solo.  Actually very solo, so my life is not something I am afraid of.  I don't really depend on anyone.   I make choices, and I am attracted more to strong people, although I have been pretty faithful when people have been afraid.  Strong is being afraid I guess. 

People are not very strong though, and it is not within their power to be.  Society overpowers us all.  There is one who overcame the World, and it is the Journey where you must become strong like him.  Like I said it is a Journey.  One that travels along the space and time continuum.   It starts with a single step, and that is a hard one... I gather. 

It is hard because of fear.  What will I be asked to do??  I cannot answer that.  I know trust is the word I used forever.  Trust it is a good direction.  Trust you will be given everything you need.  It may be a humbling adventure, and that is scary too.  Humble means our protective shell will leave us, and we won't have any protection.  As I stand now though I still do have a shell.  My heart is protected from most things.

My heart has protected me from all kindsa things.  I don't think I ever think too much of myself.  In fact I think a couple times I think less of myself than I should, and my heart would say things that would surprise me.  Like maybe I am more important than I think in ways. 

If I should feel ashamed of who I am and my position I sure don't.   I have a feeling on the outside I have to be as unfabulous as anyone, but I don't care.  I don't feel it.   I think my heart has kept me pretty balanced, and that is a story huh??   The thing I don't have control of.  I am being led though, and to get where I am took a long story, and a long time.  It is the story of my life. 

Now I have one thing to do still, and I have been willing to do it for a long time.   Right now is your time, and you are having problems with courage and trust.   The two things I have been stressing for a while.   Strength, trust, and courage.  These are 3 of the things you should hope you have. 

I am not going to say things will be easy.  To overcome all you have to learn your place.   It is humbling let me tell you, because who is perfect?  What if we lived this life, and so far none of the things we have done even matter??  

I won't say it is a life wasted, because life is a trap.  There are no points like I said in anything you can muster on your own.  Every life kinda is wasted, but it isn't in our power, and knowledge to do the stuff that really matters in the eyes that really count. 

It still always comes down to the hardest thing you have been having problems with.  Strength and trust.  In 2 small things like this you will need help. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I know it is hard when you cannot see from where you are now to how you will be.   I can't help with that. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Saturday, July 20, 2013

People Get In A Rut...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I guess I am doing okay.  Do you sense sometimes people get in a rut??  Life is going on and on and on and on, and after a while you realize, WOAH!!  This is their life??   Same thing day after day after day.  Not an original thought or anything that differs you day to day??

Boxed in huh??  Closed off from the whole World.  Oh you cannot see, because you are boxed in.  Your life and your World are very very small. 

I am reminded of that one Jew in a Concentration camp.  He had absolutely no freedom at all.  Living the worst life, but his mind was free.  Anything could be done to him, but he gathered more freedom living how he was than most people do with their freedoms. 

How and why is that??   He must have been able to look at life different.  A realistic view perhaps??  Hey I can complain about this and that, etc...  My life sucks, but maybe he realized the control he had.  He had no control over his situation.  Of all the things he could which isn't much he found freedom in his thoughts. 

Maybe a lesson learned.  What in your life do you have control of??  How you wake up day to day??  If you had the opportunity to do whatever you really wanted to do today what would it be??  Do you even know?? 

You want your life to matter right??  You want it to be important in the grand scheme of things.  The best attributes a person can have is really a gift one is given.  To walk this Earth free, and strong, with a humble heart.  I know and I realize the best a person can be is not something we can achieve on our own. 

It is such a humbling story.  Remember of the story of those guys whipping themselves to help improve themselves??  Torture themselves to make them better people??  That is the understanding people can muster.  Kill or be killed in order to show our worth??  

It is not our understanding we should seek.  It is not our knowledge which is the highest thoughts.  There is a way to acquire all these things, and it isn't something we achieve on our own.  It is a gift.  The best you can be is not something you can acquire on your own.  It isn't something whatever Country you were born in bestows upon you. 

Your life is you, and really you can throw away all the things you cannot control.  What really in your life do you have control of?? 

We as humans are pretty gross in ways.  We hide our true nature and selves with various kinds of clothing and stuff, but our path will show us we are not much better than the beasts who wander the field.  One of life's hard yet humorous lessons.   Where did the info come that we are all that??  

HA!!   Have you seen people??   LOL   we aren't all that.   :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  slept too late today, so guess I'll be running solo today. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D 

Friday, July 19, 2013

A Hard Week...

Good afternoon all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay I guess.  This week is a hard week of blogging for me.  Usually it isn't a big deal, but maybe just starting a new schedule.  One of the things about me is I do this a lot, and if I am in a bad mood you will see it. 

I think a blog should be about something though right??  There are things to our life.  How much stuff is inside you that is personal.  You know the things you don't want people to know about you. 

Things you have done wrong, continue to do wrong.  Embarrassing things perhaps.  Things people will judge you on perhaps??

This is really important stuff we need to face, because we have to come to terms with our short-comings.  Why??  That is part of the plan.  You are you, and eventually you have to face the life you have led.  Wrongs done to you, and wrongs done to others.   All this stuff is known, and you have been given the vision to see this stuff.

What is this stuff??  This is the truth of your life.  The life you led.  It is the truth that sets you free right??  Well here it is all in front of you.  There is no direction and no avenue here you can hide from.  This needs to be done, and it will take courage, because who wants people to see the real us??

You know the one who isn't always nice, and the one who has all kinds of stuff inside us we wish weren't there.  A past with things we wish we didn't do.

The easy thing to say and the easy thing to point out is we are not really all that great.  There is an avenue that leads to a better you.  There is no other way.   If you are happy with you the way you are, then go on ahead.  I hold onto nothing on this Earth.  All can be given away.

If I were asked like one of those 12 to drop everything and come follow me, I could, and I would.  

See how far you have to go.   You know the way.   

There is a lot of stuff you will need to see and learn.  It isn't what you think either.  Lessons are hard, and the truth is hard. 

It is all right before you though.  It is the right way, and the only way.  If you were given a direction that you could put your full faith and trust in.  Know it is the right way, and the best way, and leads to good things, would you take it??  It is a bet where the payoff is 100% assured. 

With those odds you'd be dumb not to take it huh??   Well,  that one rich guy took the wrong way.  I think he was vested in Holy Roman Empire coins, but who can tell.  I am not sure of the currency of that day.  It ain't worth anything now, and look what he lost out on. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Today I am going to have a lazy watch tv and movies day.   :)   I wubs it.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D  

Thursday, July 18, 2013

The 2 Sides Of Me...

Good Afternoon.  How's it going??  Me, I feel I woke up in a bad mood again.  Frustrated I guess.  Frustrated because I know  a lot of stuff.  A lot of bad stuff.  Things I was taught long ago, and things I never wanted to tell anyone.  Or maybe I did, but I knew the stuff I knew was bad.  It was bad to use, and bad to teach. 

Inside me is the vision and knowledge of the dead and fruitless endeavors one can find to do on this Planet.  Things that lead nowhere, and things that ultimately end up being the reason we are all so miserable'ish. 

Life is like this.  Your heart is taking you down a path of a view of life I guess you could say.  This little thing we do before we die. 

I know all the teachings of Society is life is a blessing, but life really is a curse too.  You can deny it, but you should just really have the strength to accept it.  It is a curse because there is nothing on this Earth of any value.  It is a wasteland where points are nowhere to be found. 

Couple that with our less than great selves, and well you can see we are in trouble.  We have been given brains to ponder and to question our why are we here type stuff.  Life here is supposed to be miserable too, because we are to seek answers out. 

Many will think they found answers by reading what people as dumb as us have written.  They are published,  they have the answers, and God knows they are way more fucking fabulous than me.   Have you seen me??  Have you seen my life???  My real life??  Well I hope not, because I have been trying to hide that Shit forever, and show you just this one side.  You know the look how Great I am side.  

I have like I said a bunch of shit in me.  Things I would just assume keep to myself.  You have to meet me halfway though.  Put on your big people pants and have the courage to accept you are not perfect.  You in your own way are pretty horrible like us all. 

I know I know if I hold onto this that matters, or this.  Can I help Society along this way??  I get points for that right??  Nope all avenues lead nowhere.  Your life and my life are like the biggest waste of time ever. 

ACCEPT YOUR PART FOR ONCE.   PLEASE!!!

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Today I don'r really give a shit what kind of day you have. 

Good Bye.  :)))

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

At A Loss...

Well this will be a struggle, because I have nothing to blog about.  Do you ever wonder why sometimes relationships sometimes go sour?? 

I know why.  It is because we as people are fucking BORING!! 

Oh we try to hide our boringness, and Life's general boringness behind jokes, and bury our head in the "work" sand, whatever that is. 

ESCAPE!!   That is what you all are looking for.  An escape from the drudgery you call your life.  Does it make you feel better to "try" and show people, "Look, I am Fabulous". 

"Look what I do, See I did this and this and this", but deep down I know I am a fucking waste of time, because I am knee deep in the middle of this FUCKING life, but I am going for trophies of some sort here on Earth.  You see Society approves me.  I win. 

Well victory is in only one's eyes, and you are so fucking far away.

That is it for today!!!   :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!   :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Take that!!!   :)    HAHA

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D 

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Some Things...

Good morning all.  How's it going.  Just so you know,  my posting will probably be different.  I am working 3rds now, and I like to blog when I wake up, so I might blog early afternoon'ish.  Not sure, but just so you know. 

I started my first day yesterday, and it was a first day.  Learn a bunch of new stuff.  One of the crazy things about me is I had no idea when I was all growed up, I would like doing as a job something I could have done in H.S.  I went on to College though, and learned a bunch of Horseshit. 

I learned more in life than I ever learned in school.  Things were not always easy in my life like everyone else, but I learned from these things.  Of course it helped I had soooooo much help along the way.  I have been led on paths where there was no vision.  Where am I heading?   What is the truth of life.  I will always always believe the bad stuff about me if it is the truth. 

I have learned a lot like I said.  I have even learned a lot from the end of the Journey and through this blog here.  I guess telling people about ourselves is hard.  I forget that, because well... look at this dumb blog.  What am I afraid to tell you?? 

We stand alone on this Earth.  Our life really at the end is just us.  I know we want our heroes, because we want something we can see to believe in.  Somehow someway we have to be able to work toward a better us right?? 

There is plenty of work being done, and much of it is to lead you on you becoming a better you.  It isn't you working though, but with eyes you can see and learn.  With ears you can listen and hear. 

It has always been about your eyes and ears, and the ones that live inside your head.  The ones that see and hear things.  That really is Faith too isn't it??   Making sense out of the things we don't see.  The best way is to have the best teacher.  The one who can pull the strings of life in such a way to say "Hello, I am here." 

Life has to have some hard things to be able to open up those eyes, and those ears, or else we would always just go on and on with our normal day to day Bull. 

We have a long way to go.  Are you willing to accept your Journey...  here is the kicker, no matter where it leads??

Courage,   it will take a lot of courage.   Brace your heart, and you, if you want to be led on a path where you are not the one in charge, and it isn't your vision calling the shots.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.   I had to cut my run short on Sunday to only 7 miles due to poop issues.  :)   My knee hurts after those couple long'ish days, but feels better after a day off. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 


Sunday, July 14, 2013

I Have 1 Hour To Poop...

Good morning all.  The pressure is on.  I am running, and I will need to poop before I run.  On running mornings that is always A- #1 on the list of importance.  I made a cup of coffee, so hopefully that helps.  It is done, so I am going to get it. 

So anyway yesterday we ran.  Jerry is still injured so he went with us on his road bike.  We did the 8 mile route with the hills.  I stopped running in the hills for a second to let a car pass, and Jim, and the young guy kept going.  They got a gap, and the gap got bigger, and bigger.

I decided to try to catch up to them on what I thought was the last hill.  I started pushing, and breathing hard, and the gap didn't get noticeably smaller.  Ohhhh, that wasn't the last hill.   This must be the last hill, so I push again, and don't bridge the gap too much.   Ohhhhh,   that isn't the last hill either.   FML.   :)   We finally reach the last hill, and head on back.  I could have used a gel, my mind was mush.  It was a good workout, and a little speed work to boot.  Jim, and the young guy added a couple miles, and I called it quits at 8, because I am running at least 9 today.  The knee still bugs me a bit, but not horrible.

Not much else going on.  Life has made some changes for me the last couple of weeks, and I am excited for them. The time away the last couple weeks has made me realize, I needed to get the Heck out of my old job.  I don't miss it, and it is about the last place I'd want to work right now.   Strange how that is huh??

So, as you can see not a lot of exciting stuff going on with me.  It is my life though, and I guess I like it.  :)   I had gyros for lunch yesterday, and OMG are those good.  I am having coffee this morning, and hoping to get a good poop in.  :) 


That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I am thinking of going to spectate the Benton Harbor 1/2 IM.  The previous times I was going to do it I always got the day wrong.  It is Saturday not Sunday, or Sunday not Saturday.  I don't know how to watch those things, but I know some people racing it.   May be nice to meet a couple of them.   ;)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D  

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Enough About Me...

Good morning all.  How's it going??   Me, I am doing pretty good.  Yesterday was a pretty okay day.  Especially the part of biking to see a movie, and biking home etc..  It was a great day out.  The weather was perfect, and there was no better way to spend my day.  The movie ended though.  I rented 4 more movies for $2, and watched one.  "Mr. Brooks" 

I start my new part time job on Sunday night, and I get my schedule for the week.  It is a foot in the door type of job, but actually one I know I will like.  One that is just based on labor, and the harder I work the better the employee I will be.   I usually do good in those situations. 

People typically like that about people.  You see someone who works hard in what they do people will respect it.  A lot of times in job settings you see people just putting in the time.  That means they don't like the job, and they are not happy doing what they are doing. 

There are challenges to be had in the World, and if you feel you have to "sell" yourself than well... you know people typically see through that. 

Can you take an honest look at who you are and what you like, and how you would like to be.   Are you the same person in your job setting?? 

I kept thinking of the info thing I went to last night.  The speakers were not the best speakers.  They were trying to get mileage out of their lives, and they have been saying the same things for a long time I bet.

Selling their company by bragging of things that really don't matter.   Seeking honor in shallow places type of thing. 

Oh well, enough about me is my title, and that is because I can do this.  I do feel like this a lot.  Many mornings I wake up and feel pretty darn good about stuff.   I have been given a gift no one can make. 

I bet it seems weird, and I cannot explain it, because you can never know unless you have been given the same gift. 

What it really means is it is good to be me.   :)   Been saying it a while.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I am up early enough to get all the poop out I think.  yay.   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D   

Friday, July 12, 2013

Strange Days Indeed...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing Okay.  Lisa and I went to that info thing last night, and it was pyramidy, and stuff.   Help people with this, and sign up new people, etc...   Not exactly my thing.  Especially with me not really liking people all that much as it is.   ;)    What they say does make sense though. 

Personally I think people are screwed as it is.  Especially for those who have big student loan debt, and credit card debt etc..  You know in Egypt the Army was killing their own people, and in our Country the leaders have let Big Business bully them to the point where it might give people better peace of mind to just have the Army shoot them all. 

I don't know, but Student loans are over $1 Trillion now.  I have no idea about Credit cards, but those are garbage, and trouble makers.  I think the Economy is screwed.  People are screwed.  They have been floating free money around for a bit, and you know it "looks" like things have turned around, but the Businesses that are doing the best are ones where Antitrust laws have not been followed. 

The American Dream was only for like 25 years after WWII.  That is enough sample size to assume that will last forever?? 

I have a feeling we are just in the midst of the calm before the storm.  People going on and on with their lives, planning it in the best ways we can think. 

I have been running in place with this thing for quite a long time.  It is a weird blog to me, especially when there is the "I don't see this" thing that goes with it.  Perhaps all blogs are like that.  Or maybe I actually am the only one in the World who pays attention.   Who can tell??  

Anyhooo.  It is Friday, and there are some new movies out.  I will see one, and Lisa doesn't have a horrible shift.  I have to make a couple calls about jobs and stuff, but not a bad day planned.  I stayed up til midnight last night too.  :)   A World Record for me.  :))

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has  a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Oh yeah Ken and I ran the 6.5 mile route yesterday, and it was harder than expected for me.  Strange.  

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Thursday, July 11, 2013

So Much In A Day...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I had a good day yesterday.  First off it started with a track workout.  My first one in forever.  I wanted to do 8-400's, and I worry about myself.  I didn't want to stop at 6.   ;)

I did it.  I am slow.  My 400 speed is my Marathon pace from a few years ago.  The last time I was in shape.  Not that I ever ran a Marathon at that pace, but I ran a 25K at that pace, and paced 15 miles at that pace during a Marathon. 

On the job front things are looking good, and exciting, so I am pretty pumped about that.  Life tangles us all in almost everywhere we turn.  To live free on this Earth is like impossible.  Traps that tie us down are everywhere.  Anyone ever ask if Private Property is actually all that??   What other thing has caused more Wars and fights?? 

This World and Society has been created by the best thoughts men and women have been able to come up with.  We bailed out banks and it occurs to me, what do banks do and want??  They want people to go into debt.  It is how they make money.  They are in the business of making people worse off, and being tied down to jobs, and bills more and more and more.  They are in the business of misery. 

Never really thought of it that way, but I am intrigued by one of the companies I may be interested in working for.  They are in the business of debt reduction, and money saving etc...   They are in the business of improving people's lives not adding more burdens.   They do NOT offer credit cards.  etc...   I am guessing they don't help people take out loans either.   We shall see.  I will know more tonight when they asked me, and my wife to come.  I thought that was a neat gesture. 

Anyhooooo, life goes on.  I am not exactly sure of the direction we go, but I have an idea.  You will be pulled, and you will be tested eventually is my guess, and it will be hard, and you have to trust one more than yourself.   Trust one's vision more than yours.  I think you will eventually be asked to walk in a direction where you cannot see where it leads, while maybe giving up a direction you can kinda see, and it looks kinda good.   The ultimate turn, with the ultimate trust. 

Can't say for sure, but it is what I think. 

I am going back to bed for a couple hours.    :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  don't really have one so this is it.   :P

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D   


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Going For Broke...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  The title of my blog today is going for broke.  I have nothing to really blog about, but there were some things on my mind last night, so let's see where it leads. 

I am going to get some coffee real quick.  I will brb. 

So anyway what I was thinking about last night is in this blog you know me as whoever??  I have clothed myself in running, in my job, really I have clothed myself in all kindsa things.  What if everything was taken away??   Who would you be??   Think of all the Jews during WWII.  Their identities were scrapped except for wearing a yellow star.   All the things they clothed themselves within Society were taken away.  Who are you then?? 

We put a lot of faith in how we clothe ourselves in Society's eyes huh??  What if the one with the best vision doesn't even look at that??  Then who are you??  Society really is a way for us all to clothe ourselves in some fabulous way, and it takes vision, and all kindsa other things in our lives to see who we are without that. 

I guess the Journey is for us to get to know who we are without all the other stuff that really clouds our vision.  It is a path you cannot draw up on your own.  How would you work your way toward that??  There really is nothing you can do to help you on your way to what really needs to be done.  

Life is busy, and life is confusing, and there are so many questions, and very few answers.  It is the endless barrage of crap in life that probably drives you crazy, and makes you seek the Prozac. 

It is a life of points, and we are not in charge of how we get the points. 

The World is fucked up, but it is the only thing we see, and the only thing we feel comfortable putting our faith in. 

We have to learn of things we cannot see.  Most things we yearn for are just man made, and have the shelf life of not too many generations. 

Welcome to this World where the only path is one of HARD learning, because life is full of hard lessons.   You go on and on and on thinking you are learning important stuff, and then your life gets pulled aside, and you have to learn the really hard stuff.  The stuff that says hey this World kinda sucks.  Life sorta does too.  A lot of things to ponder, but our eyes always had rose colored vision, and we are putting on the glasses that give us better eyesight. 

A lot of hard truths out there, and I bite my tongue on some of them.  They may come out, but we will see.  I think people keep trying to add more and more Shit to this World, and we really should be throwing out more and more baggage.  Maybe we think if we do more and more we will be better and better, but you are scoring no points, and just making things harder. 

Tough Shit we hafta do here. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  I have another interview today, and I have no idea what it is about.  If I were a betting man it sounds cubicle'ish and phone call'ish.   In other words I will walk, and say cya.  I'll keep my one I like, and build from there.

Love You All    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D   

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Unknown...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me,  I am doing pretty good.  I am up really early, and I am going to do this thing and go back to bed. 

Anyway, I do have a new job.  I go into orientation tomorrow.  It is a part time gig, but I am sure I can move up relatively quickly.  I think typically with a part time gig, I can still collect partial unemployment. 

The future is uncertain.  The new job is something I like to do.  It is not something I will get rich doing, but it is something I like to do.  You know I won't be a slave to my job.  The more money you make the more of a slave you become, because income tends to go hand in hand with expenses.  Also there never really is enough income, because should you pay for Child's College?  Retirement things are always in our minds.  People want new vehicles, and toys, etc...   House stuff etc...  It is a rat race, and the race does NOT lead to being content.  We all grew up being sold on that though huh??  Guess what??  It isn't real.  It isn't good.  It isn't the best things in the World. 

So I go into a new job making less money, and I don't know the future.   I am actually glad in the direction I am headed.  I figure if I was in a position where I was more willing to move down than up is that really the right place for me??  Probably not.   I worked at that place long enough to know it is just a retail gig.  People come and people go.   Heck the only reason I moved to MI for the promotion is I was sick of people leaving me. 

Anyway I don't know what the future days hold.   I am excited though.  Life is different, and changes in life however scary are a way to make everything kinda new and exciting anyway. 

Anyway I am excited.  I am lucky in I will start to be doing something I really enjoy.  Doing a job where the nights will go quick.  I will be busy.  I will be on my feet, and there will always always be something to do. 

What more can one ask??  

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)   

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  It is time for me to go back to bed.  :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D 

Monday, July 8, 2013

Guarding Our Secrets...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good I'd say.  I wasn't going to blog, but then I thought ehhhh, what the heck.  There isn't really a lot on my mind, but there is stuff too.  If you look at life, and think of all the secrets you keep hidden.  You guard against a lot of stuff not getting out in the open. 

It seems everywhere we turn we have to put our best foot forward.  Is it the only way to get ahead??  Is there actually such a thing as getting ahead??  The path to Happiness, and actually the path to peace is trust really.  Why??   You have to be willing to put all your cards on the table.   How will there be peace on Earth if the last thing any Country is willing to do is put all their cards on the table.   Truth and Honesty always leads in the right direction, but we want our Presidents to not smoke pot ever.  They better have never ever made a mistake.  See how dumb that is??  People learn the most from the mistakes they made, and our best people may have made a lot of mistakes. 

How much stuff inside you do you shield from the view of other people??  That is the stuff that drags us down.  Keeping up a perfect appearance is hard work.  It takes a lot of energy.  Also it leads nowhere. 

All the things we hide is our shell.  Our hard surface that protects us from the harsh things people can do to us... if only they knew us.   I have been saying all along we need to take off our shell.  Why??   At the end of the day nothing is hidden.  All comes to light, and you have to be able to live in the light while here. 

Light isn't perfect and things like that.  Light is truth...  yeah...   scary things like that. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Ken and I ran our 9 miler yesterday.  It was humid, and we took a fair share of walk breaks.

Love You All    xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya       :D      :D  

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Some Days You Wake Up With Nothing On Your Mind.

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I am up early just waiting to run.  Yesterday we ran an 8 mile course by Jerry's house.  They added a little something to it.  Our first out and back is typically 4.67 miles give or take.  We kept running at the turnaround.  There is a little inlet Lake off Lake Michigan called Pigeon Lake.  It has a little subdivision with a lot of nice houses and it goes up and up and up.  We added that to our run, and it was pretty cool.  A lot of nice houses.  Some nice hills.  It was a fun course to run, and it was all I wanted from our run yesterday.   My legs were tired at the end, because I don't have  a ton of huge mileage in yet. 

Called up Ken yesterday to see what he was planning.  I know he ran the 10K, but he still wants to run 9 miles this morning.  All in all I think a good weekend of running.  I want to get more miles in during the week.  Jerry is battling a knee injury, and that throws off our 6.5 mile Tuesday and Thursday runs.  I am going to write off last week as a stressful week.  I didn't run as many miles as I'd like, but I still ran. 

All is good on that front.  I have a job interview on Monday at 8:30.  Everything is looking up.  I have made a clean break from the old job, and feel pretty good about stuff. 

There really isn't much else going on to be honest.  I don't really have anything to say or write.  :)

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  Lisa is off for the next two days, so it should be a pretty relaxing couple days.  I wish we haven't seen all the movies in the Theaters.   That kinda sucks. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D  

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Hoping To Poop Before I Run.

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I had a really good day yesterday.  The title of my blog was a lot to do., and it was all done by 11:00.  Laundry done and folded and put away, run in, dishes done.  Cut the grass, and trimmed.  Took the garbage out and recyclables,  So that was good.  After that I watched a movie.  After the movie I checked the mail, and I am able to collect unemployment til I can get a job, which I have to call tonight to set up an interview. 

I mean Holy Cow, a load off my mind.  Anyway as to my title today yeah,  A lot of heavy thoughts come to my mind early in the morning.  #1 thing on my mind right now is poop, and poop before I run.  I was going to run a race today.  That hard 10K with the dunes, but I guess I decided not to.   One of the reasons is spending money on a race when maybe I shouldn't  although now I am more at ease.  Now I kinda am regretting I am not running it, because it will be hard, and should be fun, and I know I am not in the best shape, so I wouldn't try to beat anyone, I would just accept getting my ass handed to me.  Oh well.  

I am not sure how long I am running today, I know Jim ran 10 last week.  I am not sure how much I will run tomorrow, because Ken is running that race probably, and not sure how far he will want to go tomorrow. 

Anyway that is all good.  Running long this weekend, probably twice.   I am drinking coffee now, and it appears the poop thing will happen.  All is good I guess.  WOOO   HOOOOOOO!!!    :)

Some days it can be about nothing right???

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)))

p.s.  Nothing major today.  Lisa works at 5:00, and me,  I should read my book.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D  

Friday, July 5, 2013

A Lot To Do...

Good Morning All.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good I'd have to say all things considered.  I mean things are not perfect right now in my life, but you know I am not a slave building the pyramids, or picking cotton from a Southern Plantation.  

I am not fighting a war where our ability to kill is way way way further along than our ability to heal.   Actually maybe all Wars are fought like that.   I guess I am not fighting a War so that is good. 

I have to cut the grass, and do laundry, get a run in, and do dishes, etc...   Also whatever time I have to do what an unemployed person does.  fill out apps.   etc...

I am going to have some coffee, and I think sleep #1 is good enough for today. 

What are the important things on my mind today??  Nothing really.  I'll give you one thing I thought of.  We live kinda a lonely existence.  Nobody really cares too much of what goes on in another person's life as far as I can tell.  A quick look in ourselves and maybe there is a lot of "I don't give a Fuck"   about what any person is really going through.  Even the people we know. 

You know even married people don't really talk a lot.   A busy life is a life where one is able to hide all the things they don't want to show.  

There is stuff to people, and the true and sad part of it is you have to get to know and see this stuff.   Whatever busy stuff you are doing at the end of the day means nothing. 

Are you lonely??   Can you talk to anyone about YOU??   Does anyone really know you?? 

Look through a typical day.  I mean all the things you think about, even the things you wish you didn't, whatever that may be.  You don't have the power to be the person you want to be do you??   Maybe just maybe if we look good in other people's eyes we'll be good though right??  There is only one's judgement who matters, and he sees everything.   All the things you want to hide too. 

The best things in our mind we THINK we can do is look good in other people's eyes.   That isn't the best stuff out there though.  We are going on a path where we will be judged.  That is my final thing I have to do too.  I have to be judged, and must willingly walk in that direction. 

It is the worst judgement too.  I don't know how bad it will get, but I do know I will be judged, and will go to the last place people want to go, and more importantly the last place people think they will go. 

Life is hard, and it is serious.  We all have a lot of tough shit to do.  As it so happens you really haven't even done nothing yet. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I like little signatures.  The signature I read yesterday was "cheers"   I like that, because it is happy and stuff.   A little something that makes me smile inside.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D   


Thursday, July 4, 2013

Not A Lot On My Mind...

Well, maybe there is.  There is a lot of weight on my heart actually.  It is called stress.  I know this blog goes in a certain way, and a post like yesterday has got to be a bit weird. 

Anyway, I don't want you to think I am exempt from every day life stress.  Then I think you know the stress is found in my heart, so it must be for a reason.  The uncertainty of the future is really kinda a stressful thing huh?? 

I wonder what the people in Egypt are feeling now.  The Army just overthrew the Gov't again.  These really are people just like you and me.  They are different in that they were born in Egypt instead of the U.S. or wherever.  They had no control over that though. 

Who can stand up to a standing Army??  Who holds the levers of control over a standing Army??  The Military is kinda a crazy thing too huh??  You are expected to not ask questions.  Our lives do matter though, and so do the things we do.  The scary part about life is we all do bad stuff.  We hurt people, and many people we treat like Shit, and really we are not able to be the people we'd like to be. 

I will be able to be the person I want to be.  It will be in the future, and I will have to suffer greatly for it.  What happens between now and then?? 

Anyway, I do feel better after I do this stuff I guess kinda.  One of the lucky and great things for me is even though my heart is burdened with stress, I can trust my heart.  Not that I will be perfect, but I have a promise.  It doesn't mean all my days are easy, but it sure helps me cope and endure. 

Maybe when life hands you lemons you can make lemonade, or maybe you can just learn stuff and see how it unfolds. 

Anyway I didn't run yesterday.  Original plan was to, but after I saw a movie and ran a lot of errands, I just wanted to stay home.  I will have to run today, that is for sure.  I'll probably take the Hopester for something after my Sleep #2. 

Anyway just stopping by to say hi, and get a little something something down. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I don't get a glimpse really of how this blog is, but I guess there is a story.  Many Summers ago something happened to help me do this, and help me realize I am not special, but I can be used. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   ( I spell Ya'All wrong every day)   HAHA

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Well, I Am Up For A While...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I could/should be sleeping, but I have a lot on my mind I guess. 

I know a lot of things about life, and it is a blessing and a curse really.  I want to make this thing we are doing easy, but it isn't.   It is hard, because life has hard truths.  I keep a lot of stuff to myself, because I know a lot of shitty things, and I don't want you to have to deal with it I guess. 

Right now I am smack dab in the middle of the grips of Society.  I am 47 years old, I think.  Who can remember??  I have no job, and no career, and not much going for me.  Do you know if I had the choice of any job you know what it would be?? 

I think I'd like to stock groceries 3rd shift.   I have said before at my old job it takes a special kind of Fucked Up to like the job I do, and I am that kind of fucked up.  :)

My life is not my job or my career, it is these things I do.  There are no points anywhere in the middle of Society, so I do not put my stock in there.  I am not good at Society, and who really is??  Holy crap is life busier than Hell.  I am unemployed, and I still don't have the time to get all the crap I want done in life. 

I was thinking of having a Garage Sale this weekend, and I have done like nothing to that end.  That ain't happening.  I guess when you are unemployed though you have many hoops to jump through. 

So what are the important things in life??  I mean if you put all your stock into your career/job, and that means nothing what do you get in return?? 

What are the things that are worth points??    (points is  a term I use, I think you get the meaning) 

I have said before it is nothing you can achieve on your own.  It doesn't matter how much effort you put into whatever points come from elsewhere.  I know a lot of people work hard at various things.  Hell I will be doing speed work tonight in the hopes of being a faster runner, but I know in the grand scheme of things it means nothing. 

Life unfortunately as we know it is ultimately a miserable'ish existence.  A lot of boredom.  We all in our future have illness and Death to follow.  Whether it be us or our loved ones.  We will have to deal with people who just are not nice.   I mean some people just live and breathe mean.  What could you do to Hitler to make him nice?? 

How much stuff is inside you??  Anger and Hatred and things like that?? 

We have a long way to go, and this blog the Wait has been going on and on.  It is okay to do it, but really more than anything I wish this whole thing was done.  I have been given the energy to proceed, but I still think life is pretty dumb, and if I had the chance to do it all over I would have picked me being aborted than actually living this life thing. 

That is not in the cards though.  I am alive, and I have been doing this life thing, and this blog thing for a while.  It really hasn't done anything though has it?? 

When do you hit your breaking point where you get a true picture of your life, and what it means?? 

I know everyone wants to believe this World is good, and good can come out of our lives, but this World and Societies are not good.   Your lives on your own mean basically nothing.  Is that a hard thing to accept??  Yes.   Is it the truth??   yes.  

Are you willing to accept the truth, and the ways you need to go, even if you have to seemingly sacrifice what you want in life?? 

As far as I can tell no.  It was always going to come to this fork, and those who know the truth, but still take the wrong path... what can you say??  

I have some hard things to say on this thing here.   I know that.  I have held onto a lot of information for a long time.  The Future was never bright.  That probably makes you angry, and also makes you want to hold onto things that in the grand scheme of things don't matter.   You know in the end you take nothing with you right??  

When you see and hear the truth, and read the truth.  Don't harden your hearts.  That is something you have control over.  The truth softens your heart, but the truth is hard stuff.  When you harden your heart you do bad stuff, and it isn't from strength where you do that. 

I know this journey is hard, and I know the truth is hard.  It isn't my story though is it??  I for whatever reason became a messenger of this news.  I had to live through my ordeals though to get where I am today.  

I wish it were easier for you, but it isn't, and it won't be.  Your trust should be in the path, even though it is scary, and you cannot see where it leads.  Your trust should always have been put in the one with the best vision.  Trust was always the quid pro quo huh??  The hardest thing we had to give though, because well, we have always sorta trusted ourselves. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  I am not really tired, but I am going back to bed.   Have a good one all.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Monday, July 1, 2013

I Am Going Back To Bed...

Good morning all.  How's it going??   Me, I am doing okay.  I stayed up late last night.  Our one cat had 4 kittens, so it was not a lot of sleep last night, but I am up now, and as my title suggests I am going back to sleep after this. 

So has a lot changed??  No not really.  I am today the same person I was Friday.  Saturday may have felt a  bit weird, because you know??   By Sunday I felt normal.  I felt at peace, and I feel like I have lost nothing to my life.  Kinda crazy huh???

What do I want to do??  I don't care.  I will find something, and I don't want to go back to school to do this and that.  I don't want much.  I'd like to find a job where I can work hard, and it doesn't matter what. 

I look back at my last 20 years, and it really means nothing.   I am cool with that.

If we had a chance to look back on our final day to  our past life what would we place importance on??  Maybe more importantly what is placed the most importance on from the one that matters?? 

If I were to tell you your job and career mean very little, and actually if you were an exec. at Enron, or an Oil company etc...   maybe there are penalties to what you do. 

What we do in life we get zero points for, but we may get points against us.  Now that is a lose/lose.   To be able to live a life that matters, and where points are scored is very hard.  Impossible actually. 

I stand here telling you I have points in the bank.  I had to suffer greatly for whatever reason to get the points. 

I have been given a lot though.  A lot is expected of me, and I have given some of you a lot, so a lot will be expected from you. 

You have read this. You know the steps.  I can even give you more sword to clarify, but you know I don't need to. 

Do you believe you can be given strength and courage you do not have right now to be able to do the right things?? 

Trust me.  Little old me who grew up as a shy kid who was afraid to show up late at my first grade class is not the person who I would have been, if I didn't do what I did.  

The ball has been in your court for quite a while.   You have for a long time put your trust in you, instead of listening to the right direction.   There are points taken away for that, but the beauty of our journey is the depths of forgiveness, and a slate wiped clean.  Don't expect it to be easy though. 

Brace yourself for a tough ride, because these things make us strong. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)))

p.s.  for the record I did not run yesterday, but I ran the previous 5 days.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D