Monday, April 29, 2013

Things Are Looking Up...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  Things really are looking up weather-wise, and that has me in a pretty good mood.  I wake up early, and it is good running temps.  I am running on Tuesday and Thursday nights which should keep me away from other vices I might partake in on nice weather days.  Also keep me from being lazy around the house, because I get home around 2:00 every day give or take, and have 3 hours to wait to run on those days. 

That works out well, because I have a lot of plans this Summer with painting the house and stuff.  Today after work I am going to start scraping, and maybe get a coat of primer on .   Starting with trim, and fascia and stuff.   There may be some chances of rain, but I will check the weather again when I get home. 

I didn't run yesterday, because I am being careful of running two days in a row.  I will run a short one this morning, because I have time, and I won't run until after 5:00 tomorrow, so that is like a day and  a half. 

In previous years you may picture me riding my bike long on Sundays.  That probably won't be the case this year, because in previous years I really didn't give a shit about household projects, and this year I do.  I'd rather get shit done now, as opposed to not giving a crap. 

Why didn't I give a crap??  A lot of reasons maybe.  Life is dumb, who gives a shit about this stupid house.  Things like that. 

When in your heart you feel there is no future worth a crap in anything it makes it tough.  I still know the future is bleak, and probably going to be very ugly, but right now I want to do stuff. 

So there.   :)

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  time for a little run before work.  Good way to start the day.  

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D  

Sunday, April 28, 2013

I Don't Know What To Make Of Things...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me,  I am doing okay.  I am tired a bit, but doling okay.  I should make a cup of coffee, and I think I will do that. 

Okay coffee is going.  I make only one cup of coffee in the morning, and that is the most I drink these days.  Not really sure why, it is all I can handle, or want I guess.  Many times I don't even finish the cup. 

Anyway as to my title, this years blog is much different than last years, and years before that it seems to me.  I don't know what to make of it, and I am sure it is a direction that must be beneficial in some way. 

I know yesterday was a doozy, and I do have a common theme, and that has really always been the case.  For those who have eyes to see you should be able to tell there is important stuff here.  Stuff you can understand the stories of centuries ago, and why messengers are hard to believe.  Except for one, messengers are not born messengers.  They are made, because doing that is easy for the one in charge.  To understand this is to forgive all the wrongs done to the messengers.  Understanding people a bit more helps take hate away, because we all can and may have been guilty of the same things if we were in their shoes. 

Understanding is the best thing out there, and it is not within anyone's reach.  It is what I seeked for long ago, and I found the way, but there was nothing I could do to get myself understanding.  That path has to be laid for me.  I guess it has been ready, but this blog is the wait, and I don't know all the things I have to wait for, but my guess is there are things to learn.  You have to learn about life, and you, and who you are, and overcome the things you think you want to do, and actually do the things you don't even know you want to do. 

Life goes fast.  We all are aging pretty quickly, and I dunno where we are headed.  I hope it goes mostly easy, and I hope to get to know people. 

Maybe that is a scary thing.  Do people want to be known??  In all our unglorious self???  The things we do in life leave no permanent mark.  Life is this fleeting thing, and what is the worth of our lives??  A lot in our eyes, but a broad look through History shows a lot of people have lived, and a lot of people have died, and that is the story of life. 

here today gone tomorrow, and nothing remains. 

Strength and trust are some of the best attributes.  Strength is having the courage to show our less than great selves to the World.  Few do that, because really you set yourself up to the judges, and that is scary. 

So like I said this thing is different this year.  We will see where it goes. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!!   :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!   :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.   It is 4:00 AM,  now what should I do???   I may get something to cook on the grill tonight. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D     :D  

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Learn Something New Every Day.

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay.  Doing what I do.  I will have to get this done though, because I want to get a run in before work, and I am going to bike to work.  I wasn't originally, but Lisa picked up some hours.  Weather is nice anyway, and I should anyway anyway.   :) 

Yesterday I did not ever overcome my tiredness at all.  I was really tired at work.  I came home, and was tired.  I thought I'd have a couple drinks, and listen to some music.  It never really gelled.  I was too tired.  The drinks didn't do anything, but make me more tired.  I made dinner really early, and went to bed really early.   I was up for  a while checking on the SOX, and stuff with my phone, and Lisa got home from work and stuff like that.  Hard runs make me sleep not so good, and like I said I never recovered. 

Anything else going on??  No, not really.  Sometimes I think what I do here is important, and other times I wonder why bother.  There are always little turns in the road, and I think people keep trying to find the best version of themselves and others, and you should know yourself enough to know the best version of you is probably not as good as you'd like.  the best version of life is probably not as good as you'd like. 

I know all about that.  I have lived it.  I believed it, and in my worst days many years ago, I was willing to believe every bad thing about myself.  There were so many bad days, but I was led on a horrible journey.  One in which I knew the craziness of it, and it is the absolute unimaginable circumstances of it that made it a solo journey. 

Of all the things I wanted I didn't want to be solo.  I wanted someone I could see, and get answers from.  Yet I went on, with very little hope.  More despair every day than anything else.  I found the answers, but they were not mine to take.  The path still had to be given me.  I received a blessing one night, and it sure didn't lead to a very good life for a while.  Actually most of the years were not very good to be honest.   Life kinda is like that. 

The blessing coincided with riches and wealth elsewhere, and through much suffering I actually made it somewhere.  Here to where I am now.  I have been preaching trust for a long time, but you all, except maybe Jen H. are having problems.  Trust was the best quid pro quo, and well, I guess it is hard. 

The thing about life, and the thing about the journeys is we all fail.  There is no right you have done, and no great thing you have done really, but the power of forgiveness is the most important thing, and you don't really have a feeling of remorse yet, because, your life is still about you. 

The one you should trust most has not been unfaithful.  You have, because you don't believe.  You know the outcome of that right??  

So, on we go.  Still a long way to go. 

I am still here, and I will help the very little I can.  What can I do offer support when times are tough??   Keep you walking when you feel broken.  Say you are important when you might not feel it.  I also will kick you in the butt if you think you are all that probably. 

Not much else I can do I don't think.

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  time for a run, and some work, and a good weather Saturday.  Luckily I am not tired. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D  

Friday, April 26, 2013

A Little Of This, And A Little Of That...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  Well yesterday was a pretty exciting day all in all.  I was able to run longer than a 2 or 3 miler.  It has been a while.  Like I said yesterday we were going to go on our 6.7 mile route. I haven't looked so forward to a run in a long time.  It was somewhere between 45 and 50.  It was a bit windy, but sunny, and I was out running, and that made a difference.  Not much on the run, except we got around 2/3 of the way done, and I kept yo you'ing off the back of Jerry and Ken.  This was a hard run for me.  Not in impossible or anything, but I am not in very good shape.   It was a good distance, and you forget how fun/an accomplishment doing this type of stuff is. 

My legs were tired at the end.  I was tired too.  I mean almost pass out tired after a bit.  I didn't sleep all that well.  That is common after a challenging run for me, but Definitely excited for the prospects of running again and being more active.  

Anyway, I am going to get a cup of coffee.  There are a couple things on my mind.   brb...

First off on my post yesterday, yeah sometimes the way blogging goes it seems strange to me.  The rules of blogging, and the unwritten rules, etc...   I don't understand any of it.  It sometimes seems strange to me, and I cannot grasp it. 

As I was sleeping last night, and waking, and sleeping, and waking.  One of the times I got a clear picture of what I have said on this blog, and what it means, etc...   I was like Ohhhhhhhhh......

There is a lot to this thing here, and I sometimes forget it.  Why isn't this just a normal thing??   I forget that too.  

Sometimes I am going along and along, and I forget how this is, and how it seems to people.  Forgive me about that.   I am different a lot every day huh??  

I blog a lot, and I comment a lot, cuz I think if I read  something I should say I was around, I read it, and whatever. 

The thing is I have been doing it this way for so long I now think it is almost rude if I don't comment, or the person who doesn't get a comment from me will think I am mad or something.  That really isn't fair to me, but sometimes I feel guilty I guess. 

So what does that mean??   This thing is strange, I get it.  I forget though sometimes.  There is a lot of stuff on my mind here and there.  I do get angry sometimes and every other emotion just like everyone else. 

I like seeing the ugly/bad parts of life, because it means you are not trying to paint a picture, you are just venting, and doing all the real stuff that is really a part of you anyway.  That is the stuff we all have. 

I am not saying life doesn't have these great awesome days.  It does, but nothing is ever perfect, and we aren't either, and either are our friends. etc...  

So what does that mean??   Nothing really, just a little something about me.   :)

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I am really looking forward to the nice weather we will have this afternoon.   Lisa closes, but should be a good day.   :)   WOOOOOO  


Love You All    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya     :D      :D   

Thursday, April 25, 2013

On This Day...

On this day I run.  I am not running in the morning, but I am running a 6.7 mile route tonight.  It is our normal non snowy road weekday route.  Also it will be my longest run in quite a while, but I think it isn't anything that will be totally crazy for me. 

What do I think and feel about this??  About time. 

My knee issues are not a running issue, I don't think, just a bending issue so not too worried. 

To start this upcoming Spring/Summer running again on the weekdays is good.  Trails will be good for running too. 

Also we/I have a project we want to do this Summer.  Paint the House.  Not in your typical way either.  A Gallon here, and a Gallon there.  Like we did the floor.  Today will be the least best weather day we will have in a while, so things are looking up. 

Yesterday I was having a so so day, and you know one thing made me turn the corner.  I am pretty sure some people who read this read Jen H.'s blog.  I got to know a little something about her past that I never knew.  My first thought was HOLY SHIT.  No way.  Just something about her past that helps explain who she is.  Our past does explain us huh??  Molds us in ways. 

I am pretty sure anyone who has ever taken the time to read this thing probably knows a bit about my past, and here is a curious thing.  Reading about me, and the truth about me seems to piss people off.  Makes them feel uncomfortable, and my first thing when I learned about Jen H. is THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME!! 

The truth of me makes people feel uncomfortable, and the truth of you brings me in.  Is that a true reading of things??   Am I different in that way?? 

Not really sure.   I always hoped blogging would be a more participatory sport, than a view from the sidelines thingy.  I failed in that I'd have to say. 

I am becoming more and more a sideline blogger too like most others. 

Go with the flow right??

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I have time to take the Hopester for a walk before work.  WOO HOOO.  after I check the weather of course.   ;)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D   

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Awake and Nothing On My Mind...

Good morning all.  How's it going??   Me, I am doing pretty good.  I am awake, and like I said there is absolutely nothing on my mind.  I did make coffee though.  The one I had yesterday was so good, I am going to have another. 

Well, anyway yesterday went pretty good.  I had a good day at work.  A little knee pain, but it was aggravated by bending I think.  Imagine sitting with your butt on the heels.  That is what hurts my knee.  When I bend it like that.  I do that a lot more than I thought at work.  So I will crouch my right knee, and kick my left leg out when I need to get low now.  stupid thing. 

The rest of work went pretty well.  I am ahead of things for the week, which always makes for a good week.  I got a few things done around the house yesterday, and had time to relax. 

Anything else on my mind??  nah, not really.  

I think life is a hard thing to do.  I read some blogs, and know some people, and their life seems hard.  Real busy, and we get snagged in so many things.  Debt is a big snag, and parenting is too.  That is your next 20 + years right??  We are somewhat tied to our jobs. 

What is the key to happiness anyway??  It isn't what you think.  You have put your trust in you, and you seek inside you for what makes a happy and fulfilling life.  I know the times I was searching for meaning in life, I didn't see much.  The World looked pretty stupid.  I wanted to be a good person, and I wasn't who I wanted to be.  In my mind a person is supposed to be a certain way, and I didn't really think I lived up to that.  Was my heart fulfilled during my search??  Was I content?? 

The answer to those is no.  If you were an artist, what kind of picture would you paint of yourself??  Like that optical illusion of the pretty lady/ugly lady.  Are you more pretty, or more ugly??  but as a person you know??   How you think a good person should be, and how you really are?? 

These really are the things that make up life you know??  This is getting to the real you. 

Life is a Bitch, and I am the messenger telling you truth is sometimes ugly, and we as people are really not all that great.  In the game of life we all fail, and we strive for freedom, but we really aren't free.  Like I said everything in the World is just one big trap. 

So what am I going to do??  I am going to take Hope for a little walk before work. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  2 days of sub 50 highs, and then we have a pretty nice stretch it looks like. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

A Spring Day..

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing better today than yesterday.   I just woke up in a bad mood yesterday, and since I do this dumb thing so often you get to see a lot of me.  Good, bad, angry, etc...  It is no different than many of you I am sure.  Some days start off better than others. 

We had our first really nice spring day.  It was warm enough to not wear a shirt.  Lisa and I sat outside.  She read, and I drank wine.  The music was playing, and we cooked dinner on the grill.  Sometimes that is all we need... or me. 

Just a regular day.  That was our window too, because we will not have a day like that for a while.  I guess we took advantage. 

My original plan was to start running Tuesday and Thursday nights, but I think I will run this morning, and see how everything goes.  Walking pain free is kinda my livelihood, so if it hurts to walk, I don't want to run.  I still have to walk on concrete floors regardless.  I think I feel pretty good, so I will test it out with the Hopester this morning for a little run. 

The plans for me are to get healthy and see.  Run pain free, and get in shape.  It doesn't have to be pain free, but injury free I guess I should say.  Running is hard on your body regardless.  I am wanting to up my mileage pretty quickly.

Anyway yesterday was a good day, and I guess that is all I am trying to say. 

Have a good one. 

That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.   My coffee tasted pretty good this morning.  I have leftovers for lunch too.   WOO HOOOO   :)

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D   

Monday, April 22, 2013

I Sometimes Get Irritated...

That is for sure.  I don't really have a filter either.  I say whatever comes to mind, and when I wake up the next day I don't care.  Whatever I do, and whatever I say, I wake up the next day to another day. 

So Anyway, I had a pretty good weekend I'd have to say.  Lisa and I made a makeshift fence to keep Hope from jumping at our neighbors fence.  I got a lot of laundry done yesterday.  Most of it, and folded too.  I decided to not run this weekend, and not until Tuesday, because I have been having some knee pain. 

Knee pain is new to me, and unexpected, so I am resting.  I am up early today, and I will have time to take Hope for a walk before work. 

My goals for Monday, get to 1:00, and the rest of the day is mine.  I'll go shopping, and not sure what we'll do.  I think it is supposed to be pretty nice today.  Mid 60's.  Maybe I'll sit outside and have some wine. 

Who knows?? 

I'll probably do the wine thing regardless.   ;)


This is a dumb blog update, but whatever. 

cya. 

Sunday, April 21, 2013

A Lot Of Sleep...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I went to bed at 6:00 last night, and got out of bed at 5:00 this morning.  As my title suggests that is a lot of sleep.  My day didn't go as planned.  I got home from work, and Beau called wanting to go to New Holland.  I was like SHIT, haven't seen him in like a month.  He works 3rds, and I pretty much don't do shit on the weekends.  I don't even go out to bars hardly ever.  Last time I went was with him, and that was like a month or so again. 

Life changes a lot huh??  People have kids, and go on about trying to do the Happily Ever After thing, and life goes on. 

Kids are a lot of work, and a big time drain, and not always my thing at all.  I have always been kinda selfish with my time, and I knew this early.  It also helped I baby sat a new born kid one night when I was like 25 or something.  Worst night of my life.  I knew right then and there I never wanted to have kids.  It was actually Lora's kid.  The honest girl I worked with.  The kid was from her dead boyfriend.  He died in a car accident, while she was pregnant, and this was the time I was going through my things.  Mom dead, Grandpa dead, Katrina and me breaking up on my Birthday, and me being alone in this World with this College degree, not knowing what I wanted. 

This was the time that made me who I am now.  I went through a lot of things, and a lot of changes, and much stuff unseen by the naked eye. 

I had that one night cleaning floors in the hospitals.  Probably stripping floors, and at an exact moment in time the energy came back.  The physical depression left, and I decided to live like Joseph Heller for a while.  Crazy, nutty, and batty. 

I lived a life for a while.  I always knew there was stuff to do.  I guess it was just this one thing, but it really has been so much more.  I haven't even done the one thing I have been waiting to do for a while.  So this thing goes on.  How and what it will look like I don't know. 

I trust the direction, because I am... how do you say,  I am not the maker of my direction, and my trust is not in me, but in elsewhere.  A thing that makes me different than all of you.  How where why???   It all goes back to the time in the early 90's.  What is your path??  I have no idea.  I am watching though, and I guess I'll have an idea. 

You know what too??   You really are not the maker of your path either.  You try to be, but if this blog pulls, then I bet you life does too.  How do you feel on the inside??  

That is it for today!!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!     :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Lisa went to an 80's night band and got home at 2:00 AM.   :)   HA HA.

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   


Saturday, April 20, 2013

Just Another Day...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  Today is just another day as I have said, and one in which after work I have to get some housework done.  If I weren't a complete lazy ass a lot when I get off work, I'd probably have the house clean on Thursday and Friday.  It didn't happen this week, or most weeks. 

Here is something about me.  I am undisciplined.  Of all the things we "should" do, I don't always do them.  I do follow my heart, and I trust my heart, and the reasons being are because I trust.  That is a story from long ago, and you know what??  That also was a story from two blogs ago.  I am on the wait, and this one is pushing 1000 posts.  959 posts to be exact, and this will be 960. 

I think when I was in College I wanted to be a writer.  I wanted to write a story, and I think deep in my heart was the desire to be the "voice of my generation"   :)   HA HA. 

Little did I know I would be a writer of sorts, and I would write a book, and the book would be my blogs.  I won't make any money from it, but you know what??   You get to know me.  You know my life, and you get to see the day to day, which can be good, ugly, bad, nice.  and everything in between. 

I am not afraid to be me, and I am not afraid to show people me.  I guess that is confidence huh??  Where does such a thing come from??  Well, I can tell you I have not always been a confident person.  I was always kinda shy really. 

My story is long, and it is really just a life.  A life where I was led on a journey, and the journey was the truth.  The truth of life, and the truth of us gives us confidence, and that really is the turn.  A journey to the truth.  The most important and rewarding thing you can ever do.  

I am living proof.  :)

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  time to check the weather and get ready for work. 

Love You All  xooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Thursday, April 18, 2013

I Have To Rush This One.

Good Morning all.  Where does the time go??  I thought I was up really early.  I mean time to get a run in before work early, and it is already 3:15.  It is raining, so I will drive to work, but I still want to get a run in . 

So anyway, I was kinda thinking about my post yesterday.  I am different'ish when I write my stuff early in the morning.  I mean, yesterday I was just pissed off.  That happens, and I threw some Shit down.  I felt better after.  I feel good today too. 

I am the way I am now if I am angry, etc...  I have to get the SHIT out.  How much anger do people hang onto to be politically correct, and perceived nice, etc...  ??  Anger is a true emotion, and maybe one we many times try to hide.  hiding true emotions is unhealthy.  That whole Sparta thinking is unhealthy. 

That is why women are the stronger sex.  Stronger doesn't mean being able to lift the most weights.  Stronger means being more open, and more honest. 

"Should be"   "should Do"  and crap like that is some of the biggest poisonous Bullshit ever. 

Life and everything around us is a busy busy busy place where the pressure is soooo  much to look and be a certain way. 

So what does that mean??   That means I am going to get all wet.  I am going to run the Hopester. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  This should be an interesting run.  A little lightning,  maybe some thunder...

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D  

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Angels And Demons.

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Well, as my title suggests I am torn.  Knowing a little about people I know what is inside us.  I swear people just want to show the one side of themselves.  You better believe there are two sides to you.

Words like selfish, jealousy, anger, hatred, these are real words, and they are real things inside you.  People are on a hard journey.  On the one hand love lives in the light, meaning everything that is already known anyway, must be shown.  That means we open ourselves up to show our demons.  The things inside us we wish were not there.

Now if we do this what happens??   Well there will be judging probably, so courage is needed.  The judgers don't matter though, because who cares??

Is there someone out there who you really need acceptance from??  Someone who... ohhhh,  I hope they like me.

If so, do you think that is a strength about you, or a flaw??

This thing works pretty good, if I feel like I am actually doing something worthwhile.

Most of you make me feel worthless.

Thanks


That is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I have time for a coffee, and a run before work.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D  

Monday, April 15, 2013

Stay In Bed?? Blog???

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Today was a total decision day.  Should I stay in bed, or should I get up and do this thing??   I decided to get up. 

Not that I have anything to write about, but that never stopped me before. 

I had my lazy lazy Sunday yesterday.  I watched a lot of movies.  I watched like 4 netflix movies, and checked on the Sox online.  I then watched "Elektra"  Jennifer Garner is hot.  I also watched Sherlock Holmes II.   now that is a lazy day.  It was fun.   :)

I am not running 2 days in a row yet, but I did run in my dream last night, so I am going to count that as a real run to make it seem like I actually did something.   :)

So what else is going on?? 

Nothing. 

Want to know one of the things that bugs me kinda??   How you cannot understand me.  I am so way different.  It may seem weird how I am going through this life with absolutely no goals at all.  No name I want to make for myself.  Nothing I need to accomplish to feel I lived a life.  You wanna know why??

That is the plan.  That is the way I was led.  Really all this stuff was everything leading up to the end of the Journey, and how this wait thing has gone on.  All I needed to accomplish I accomplished at the end of the Journey, although it really wasn't me who did it.   At the right time the courage came, and I was overtaken by good to do and say the right things.   Same as right before the hospital all those years back.  I was overtaken by good to say and do the right things. 

Now I know it is hard to grasp that, and that is some of the invisible stuff.  All the stuff I suffered, and the good that was done for me was invisible.  For no eyes but my own, and one other. 

I know the desire is to hold onto your life, because you have got to see what you can do.  It is so little a thing, and your heart can be made where you see it is not that big of a deal, although it seems that way now. 

Can't you just look at the way I am and trust it is good?? 

Life is a pretty ugly thing.  Us people are not really that great.  Inside us all is  a bunch of imperfection, and we think mean things about people, and we wish mean things on people.  Some we don't even know.  

There is a way to a better way, and why do I pull so much??  Why do I write so much??   Well, I guess it is in my heart to be this way. 

I know the desire of the heart is to believe in this life, and this World, and find some kind of good, but you know what??   We get no points for any of the stuff we do.  The plans we have are endless, and lead nowhere. 

I know there is a lot of stuff to work out, and it is hard huh?? 

So anyway, here I am in this life.  Nothing really to accomplish, because that is how my heart is.  I really just want to get to know people better, but to open up ourselves in such a way opens us up for judgement.  That too is hard. 

Oh well,   that is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I think I feel pretty good for a Monday. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Tired...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??   Me, I am tired, and that is the title of my post.  I know I know, why not go back to bed??   Well,  I am up you know??  You know when you are done sleeping, but you still feel tired?? 

That is how I feel. 

I really have nothing to write about, but you know the story, that doesn't always stop me.  I didn't do much yesterday.  I went for a little run.  I took Hope for a walk, and did some stuff around the house.  Lisa and I went out to lunch, and then I watched a movie or 2, and yadda yadda yadda. 

Like I said not much.  Come to think of it I was tired yesterday too. 

You know what??  I am going to make me a cup of coffee.  I will brb. 

Okay coffee is being made as we speak.  

So what do I have to write about??  Nothing.   :)

Well, let's talk about me.  let's talk about this blog. 

I sometimes go and go and go, and then all of a sudden I get some insight.  What is so strange about this blog??

Well, I am a messenger huh, and not everyone likes to hear what the messenger has to say.  So I have gone on and on about certain things.  the things I have said make sense, but your are like REALLY???

Can this be?? 

The truth of the answer is yes it is true, and yes it is so. 

What does that mean for you??  I have said it takes strength to accept stuff, because life has hard stuff. 

Another thing I though about trust is why trust??

Because what you need is known.  He understands life and the World etc...  He knows more than you, and he sees the stuff that is invisible to the eyes.  Some of that stuff is scary, and bad etc... 

You are stuck in this World and stuck in your life, and it is impossible for you to see the bigger picture. 

Hard stuff???  You betcha, especially where you are standing. 

I am interested to see where you people go from here.  Remember trust though.  He knows your struggles, and he knows your angst, and everything.  He does ask one little thing of you.  I know I know it seems like a big thing, but it isn't   Are you willing to do what you were intended???

I don't know what your path will look like.  I know my obedience was tested a couple times.  Will yours??   Well,  you have been failing for a long time now.   :)  

I know I smiled at that, although if you could see the real picture, I know it is no laughing matter.  When you see the non-cartoon  version of things it really is pretty serious, and really pretty scary. 

I have a feeling that is what understanding will be like.  Where I see everything real.  No more cartoon version of things. 

Anyhooooo That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!     :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.   coffee is done, I think I will see what is streaming on netflix.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D   

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Normally Pressing Isn't A Big Deal.

Good morning all.  I woke up late, went to work.  Decided there wasn't enough to do to warrant me staying so I left.  I tried writing a blog, and there really isn't anything there, so I deleted it, and now I am trying another. 

I normally don't have to press much to get a blog down. 

I boil my life down to the things I have done, and really this is it huh??  You get to know me.  Anyone can get to know me.  I can be as free as a bird, because that is where I stand.  I am free to be me. 

I can be serious, and crazy, and nutty, and compassionate, angry, etc...  I have no remorse over anything.  Wanna know why??  

I am stronger than anyone can every imagine.  To walk freely on this planet knowing your heart is in good hands is a blessing.  To wake up every morning never 2nd guessing, and never worrying about anything. 

If things go bad in the blog world, I still don't need to stress too much about it.  If I get angry, I can just disappear. 

Your life is a tangled web of turns that really go nowhere.  Life is complicated, and busy, and there is too much stuff to it.   What are the best things you can do with your time?? 

It is a crazy World, and life is crazy, and where is your path leading??

If you have dotted your i's and crossed your t's to your future, you have probably done it wrong. 

Your future is one where you walk blindly, and if you were smart, brave, and strong, you would trust the one with the best vision. 

BUT,   me, me, me...

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  this was better than the other horseshit I wrote earlier.   :)

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D   

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Easy Day??

Well, I have thrown some whoppers down for sure, and this year is waaaaay  different than previous years.  I would like to have a fun easy blog, but unfortunately I guess that is not in the cards. 

Why??  Many reasons.  #1 being life is one big ole trap.  Part of it is your own making, and part of it is Society in general is that way. 

There is a way out, and it is different than anything you have been taught.  The trap called life you are in is a non-winning thing.  There is nothing you can do to make anything good.  Life kinda sucks that way.  I mean I guess most of the time you get by saying well I do this and I do that, and they do that.  I am better, so I should be good. 

Actually that is wrong on so many levels, but really your life is nothing at all about what other people do.  Your life is all about what you do.  In your mind you have an idea of what a good and decent person is probably, and you have some idea of some kind of sword of right and wrong, and you fail at that. 

You want to find higher answers and a way to a better life, and I have been telling of this way.  There is only one who was strong enough to overcome all, and it isn't you.  It is no one here on Earth actually.   You can turn to no one, and this blog is important for that reason, because  I have been through a lot more than you have, and this is what I am supposed to do. 

The search for truth is a hard thing, because we are filled with all kindsa crap.  I "should" look like this, I "should" be like this.  If I showed this than these people will judge me etc... 

Yeah, life is a Bitch, and people are horrible, and who is strong enough to stand up to Society, and people, and judgers etc...  

To be strong enough to stand up to judgers you have to be judged.  Once you go through something you overcome it you know. 

So today I think I will  get a little run in before work. 

I am a bit irritated too.  

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope most of you have a great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  You know someone... not you.... consistently ends up getting on my shit list.  

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Top Of The Morning To Ya...

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good I'd say.  I have a feeling I have thrown down a couple whoppers lately.  I think about that too.  This blog takes its own direction kinda I think. 

I'd like to rephrase something I said yesterday.  I don't miss anything, yeah, but I don't need anything either.  You know what I mean??  Eventually we all end up 6' under, and when that happens you won't be riding bikes, or going on long runs etc...

Do you see how those 12 were??  They trusted, and followed, and gave up all really.   They didn't bring their bikes, and they stopped taking sponsorship money, and they gave up their jobs etc..  Yes people did have jobs back then.  Do you see??? 

That ain't you.  No one is that strong.  I mean they would have to be foolish to do that right??  It would be like those crazy people who went on the arc.   Oh how Society laughed at them. 

For a long time your hearts have not been right, and why is that??  Because it is not within your power to be that strong.  I had to be pretty broken to make a turn.  Life looked ugly.  There was nothing good in it for me. 

I said something  a couple posts ago that you are lacking faith.  Strength trust etc...  You know your best path so to speak, because you are smarter than the one with the best vision???

There is a way to make one's faith stronger.  Trials and tribulations.  You are headed for a trial.  That is what this was always about. 

We are headed up to the judges.  We will be judged.  I can tell you from previous experience, it isn't fun. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  YIKES

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Monday, April 8, 2013

I Don't Miss Anything Really...

Good Morning all, how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  As my title says, I don't miss anything.  As the temps start to warm up maybe in years past part of my weekend would be a long bike ride.  I don't foresee myself doing that so much this year, because I don't miss it. 

As to long runs also on the weekend after this Winter that wasn't happening since my hip/back injury, I don't miss that.  I remember saying looking at our past is always touched with a bit of sorrow, of better days past.

I don't feel that way.  I don't feel I really need to do anything to prove to people I am this or I am that.  I don't feel sorrow for days gone past.  I don't feel my best days were before, and in this game of life I ask nothing. 

I don't want this and I don't want that.  I am content in the steps/turns I have made.  How am I like I am??  I cannot even explain.  So much has to do with the end of the Journey, when I knew I dd good.  So much has to do way back when I gave up.  I could not go back to that spot again, and my spiritual  heart was taken.  Now that sounds kinda nutty, but it was a vision/dream.  All these types of things are kinda cartoonish, because we cannot handle the truth in how real everything is. 

I have been to the non-cartoon truth.  I have seen the evil, and the judging, and took all the arrows the worst of the worst could throw out.  It isn't pleasant.  Pandora's Box was opened, and that was the worst 6 days of my life. 

Here I am walking the streets of Normal, IL with no hope of anything.  A life full of despair, because I was doomed.  Then I was lifted up.  I was made full, and I was completely confident in my ways.  Then I was emptied again.  I didn't know what to do.  I can not go back to those 6 days again.  It took too much out of me, and it is too scary.  I was taught who overpowers everything. 

So anyway after that I had to go on my own.  I suffered so much, and I was told I am as bad as the Scribes, Pharisees, and Hypocrites. 

How???   Why???  Well we know the answer to that. 

It was a journey to learn.  There were those several years from the early 90's to the start of Heimleblog, where I lived a life. 

As I learn more and more, I become free, because my work is done. 

I am the way I am, because... well, I guess that is for me.  I don't know what the days hold.  I have to suffer greatly one more time.  Whenever that is.  How do I feel about it??  I am brave, and I sometimes wonder how bad it will be.  I guess I will have no fear though, because I will have the help of the strongest one ever, and others have gone before me. 

A little secret no one knew about.  You cannot know unless you were taught that. 

My life is not I am some great person or anything like that.  My life is just cuz.  Picked out of the blue.  

He can make anyone

Anyhooo, that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  It must be kinda  a naked feeling to know you cannot do anything to make you the person you will need to become.  The power and the strength to make you who you need to be is in the power of someone else.  No amount of sacrifice of anything will help you.  I know it is scary, but I have been saying for a long time...  T-R-U-S-T

Love You All  xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D      :D  

Sunday, April 7, 2013

A Miracle Of Miracles...

Good Morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  The miracle yesterday is I actually stayed up to watch the 2nd Final 4 game.  I didn't plan it, and I totally for sure thought I was not going to watch it.  As someone who goes into work these days 6 days/week at 5:00 AM, staying up past 11:00 is not my thing.  Of all the teams in this crazy tourney my final 2 teams are alive.  Probably one of the first times that has ever happened. 

Anyway, I was thinking yesterday about me, and what it means to be me, and it is totally crazy and nutty.  Then I thought about many of you, and what you need to do, and what you have to go through.  I mean I have said some pretty nutty things, and there is no way you can understand me the way you are now. 

I thought about my post, and I find it a blessing for me to be powerless to do anything.  It is funny my job is to do this blog, and step in to support when people need it.  Really there is nothing else.  There is a transformation I must go through eventually.  Just as it is written, and just as it has been told to me.  I learned many many things, and maybe the most important is I am not in charge of my way.  It is a hard thing to give up, but on this side it seems crazy easy.

Once you overcome something it seems easy.  Getting to the overcome part is hard, but trust me it seems soooooo fricken easy when you do it. 

You all have your battles, and your battles are with you and yourself, and your view of life, and how that conflicts with what I have been telling you. 

Easy for you???   no.  

Me being on the sidelines powerless, all I can do is watch.  It isn't any different then when I won the race in my dream a few Thanksgivings ago.  I won the race, and I wasn't happy, because I was the only one there.  You were supposed to be with me, but you couldn't hang on when I made my final turn. 

A few years later we are still in the same place.  In this game of life you still are being shut out, and the only reason is you.

I am not saying it is easy, but you really are pretty weak in faith, and the things that make that up.  Strength, and trust, and all kinda good things like that.

Oh well...   nothing I can do.  

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I don't plan on doing much today, but I am going to take the Hopester for a little 2 miler today, and hope to maybe get some runs in this week.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D     :D   


Saturday, April 6, 2013

A Lot To Think About...

Good morning all. How's it going??  Me, I am doing okay I guess.   I was just thinking about some things this morning, and you know how you think things should be going in different ways than they are??  I was kinda like that.  You know this blog does a poor job of what it is supposed to do type of thing, and I remember what do I have to worry about?? 

I ain't pulling no strings, and I am not the author of this here thing, in a manner of speaking.  I look, and I see, and I watch, and I wait.  I think that is a pretty good feeling. 

People work hard at this and that and this and that, and I am not working.  I am not planning, and I am not manipulating anything really.  Just kinda sitting on the sidelines. 

Then I think about other people, and what life is like, and there is a lot of stuff to worry about huh?  Life is a big and busy, and there is soooo much that is "supposed" to be done, and you can never in a million years get all done that is "supposed" to be done. 

Aren't you tired???  

Aren't you tired of holding onto yourself, especially when you know that is a losing endeavor.  The path of you doesn't win.  All the things you can think about in the World to do, none of it is anything. 

The path I have spoken about is the winning path, and who doesn't want to play on the winning side?? 

Silly things silly things.  You are holding onto whatever, because you don't trust.  Strength and trust do go hand in hand. 

I know I have done things n the past I didn't want to do.  I was asked once to give up what I thought was the perfect direction for my life.  It wasn't easy, and WOWWW.   I went in a direction, and the path is crazy hard.  Never in a million years could I have thought it up.  Never in a million years could I have even done it.  So many hard things, and so much to do.

The best thing is I can do nothing.  I am powerless to do anything. 

One other thing I was thinking about is you know how we have a right to privacy??  Meaning what we do behind closed doors etc... we keep to ourselves.  You can do pretty much what you want, except for you who do those gross things with farm animals.  THAT IS ILLEGAL you know!!!   ;)

Anyway in life the bigger picture there is no right to privacy.  All you do is known, and all you think about is known.  That has always been a strength for me... To know everything I do and everything I think about is seen.  When I felt I was bad, and not a good person, I could close my eyes, and know I am seen, and that is good. 

Most people now are in the dark huh??   You don't want to be seen.  You don't want to be known, because you know you are imperfect.  That is kinda what it talks about too huh??  Love lives in the light, but the darkness is scared of the light.  See how much strength we need?? 

Like I said though, I can do nothing, and that feels pretty good.  To know one is working getting you to where you need to get to. 

We'll see how this goes. 

Anyhoooo, that is it for today!!!    :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  Gotta check the temps to see what to wear as I ride my bike to work today. 

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Friday, April 5, 2013

I Got Nothing...

Good Morning all.  How's it going?? Me, I am doing pretty good.  I have absolutely nothing to blog about today.  That doesn't always stop me, so I guess I'll go on.  I am going to get a cup of coffee, and I will brb...

So guess what??  Not a lot going on with me.  We did some stuff outside yesterday.  Me, poop scoop, and Lisa rake the flower gardens out.  I don't poop scoop hardly, so I just wanted to help out with that.  Why don't I??  Not sure.  It isn't that hard.  I cut the grass 100% of the time.  That is the excuse I use. 

So, I have said a lot of stuff on this here blog.  Who even has the time to read it??  One of the strange things about this  is people stop blogging a lot.  Why is that??  Is it hard to do?? Boring to do??  Other things more fun??    Just one of those weird things. 

I'll give you a summary of my life.  How it unfolds typically.  I wake up usually earlier than I need to.  We will say somewhere between 2:00 AM and 3:00 AM.  I work at 5:00.  I need to shower and get to work, and we'll say that takes less than an hour. 

I typically work 8 hours give or take.  So I will leave work between 1:00 and 2:00 typically.  So if I get up at 3:00, and work til 1:00 that is like getting up at 7:00 and working til 5:00.  I stay up til 8:00 usually, so I have roughly 7 hours to do what I want. 

I can run, and I can do stuff around the house, I can putz around, I can do anything. 

That is what it all comes down to for me huh??  and also what this blog is kinda like.  None of anything really matters.  Like I said before you get no points for anything.  All the things I can do, none of it matters.  It was as Solomon saw, eat drink, and be merry for that is your lot in life. 

There were things I had to do, and I didn't know any parts of my journey the things I would have to do.  Nothing at all.  Blind as a bat.  I was led in such a way where I suffered a great deal, and learned a great deal.  

Who knew I would do all these things and live this whole life, and end the Journey and start the wait.  Who knew this would go on so long?/  I still walk blindly except for the knowledge of the last thing I must do.   Hit the alligator 3 times on the head, and then Katrina and I can hug.   go figure. 

Soooooo long ago I knew this.  Crazy crazy crazy.  I wonder what people are waiting for.  That too is also kinda crazy.  You know what you gotta do, and you know the correct way, and you know it is important. 

You still have a lot to work out I guess.  It is a good thing I have a patient heart.  I have been given a lot, and I have given a lot.  Those who have been given a lot a lot is expected.  You too have also been given a lot.  A lot is expected from you. 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  It is Friday, temps are starting to creep up a bit.  Spring is in the air'ish.   I should start running again soon, as I feel healthy again... at least til after my next run or two.   :)   HA HA

Love You All   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D  

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Why Me?? Why You???

Good Morning all, how's it going??  Me, I am doing pretty good.  I didn't sleep all that good last night, so I may be a bit tired today, but I got a lot of sleep the night before so it shouldn't be a big deal.  The title of my blog may have you thinking??  Why me??  That is too big a question to answer really, and as far as I am concerned there really is nt reason at all. Like I say, just cuz. 

I don't think much of it to be honest, and never really wanted to know the answer.  I didn't care.  I had a lot of other things to worry about, and I have been made in such a way that it isn't a big deal, unless you kind of get a glimpse of the magnitude of it. 

Why you??  no reason, and that probably is a thing hard to accept.  People like us for different reasons huh??  We have to do something special right??? There really is no reason it is just how it goes. 

Does anyone even remember how this started??   My life and my goals were sure a lot different a long time ago huh??  What changed??  The end of the Journey.  Nothing really mattered anymore.  For the 2nd time in my life I was willing to forego my life, and actually after the Journey I was with the strength given, willing to be the worst of the worst, and all the bad that entails. 

"If that is your will I will do it." 

It was a necessary step for me, and it was part of the plan for me.  Things were going bad, and I would re-read my blog it would judge me, and I was scared, and bad things were happening, and the Journey gets deleted, but I overcame with help, and the wait started right away. 

This thing has gone on and on, and as most of the things I went through, I had absolutely no idea things would be the way they were.  A lot of things I had to figure out why after the fact, and the answers were given me. 

There is still tough stuff to do.  A long ways to go in a manner of speaking.  Whatever your desires, and things you want to accomplish really get you zero points.  All points really come from your will, not mine, and who knows the struggles we will have?? 

This definitely isn't an easy path.  It is the correct one.  Like I said before you are being steered in a certain direction.  Maybe there is a tendency to try to hold onto this or that.  Maybe if I do this I will feel better.  Maybe if I do this.  Maybe if I yell this to the World. 

I don't know, the direction we go is a hard one.  Trust it leads in a good way, and be strong about hard things you may have to look at, and trust you will have support when you do the tough things that need to be done. 

The World will judge you, it is how it is, but the answer lies in the race of life is not won without support, and that is what we do. 

I know we want to show our "good" side, and that amounts to nothing.  Strength is respected, and it is a good thing. 

Anyway, it is a little after 3:00.  We are supposed to be mid 50's and sunny today.  Lisa wants to do yard work today, but the Sox play at 2:00.  :)  

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s. The Sox took the first two games against KC, and that is good considering we went 6-12 last year against them. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya"All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these   xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya  cya  cya    :D      :D  

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Much Ado About Nothing.

Good Morning all, how's it going??   Me, I am doing pretty good.  We are having a cold/mild Spring, and I hope it translates into a mild Summer.  Last Summer was brutal, so hoping for better things this year. 

I have made a cup of coffee, and I am going to get it. 

Okay, now as I think about things I see I give you people different angles to look at stuff.   All your life you have been trying to do whatever you do.  Always "pretending" to be happy.  Always "showing" people you have the answers, and hiding by whatever it is you spend your time doing.  Then I come along and say there is a deeper truth.  One that is out of your grasp.  One that no amount of sacrifice, time, work, etc... will get you to.  This truth is a gift that you can not in anyway create for yourself. 

You were raised/grew up differently though.  You can make your way.  You can make your path.  You can make your own destiny, by doing this and that. 

I have said other things, and I told you to trust in someone more than yourself.  Trust a content heart is something you can be given without any work on your own.  You think you have to do all these fabulous things to be content, and you did not know out of the blue a thing like that can be given. 

So we go in a certain direction.  As I have told you I can do so very little.  Your life's journey is your own, and you will be pulled to go in a certain way.  It isn't easy for you, because you are important to you, and it is your life, and you have freedom to do what you want, but there are other things out there you don't know about, and much to learn. 

In your heart must be the desire to do some good, and you cannot do it on your own.  Nothing we do even matters.  Solomon lived the most bestest life ever, and he was the wisest, and the smartest, and you will never ever in a million years accomplish more than he did.  Yet he saw what it all meant.   Nothing. 

Vanity of vanity. 

He saw what a whole life amounted to, and he decided better off are those who have never been born to see all the evil that is done under the sun.  So don't expect peaches and cream, and whatever kind of Bullshit you may believe. 

It is false.  Solomon had the correct vision of life, and one came along and showed a promise of a different life.  Very few take that path, because who wants to deny themselves the opportunity to make their mark?? 

Trust is important, and it is something you have to do.  You get no answers.  You walk blindly, and that really is faith.  Can one do more with your life than whatever you think you can?? 

You know the answer, but...   Hard stuff huh?? 

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!     :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!    :)

Love You All!!!    :)

p.s.  I find this year to be strange where I am interested in fewer and fewer things.  Although still content in who I am.  I know the people who try to show whoever in whatever way they are some kind of "great" typically are the boring people. 

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya   :D    :D  

Monday, April 1, 2013

Lazy Sunday.

Good morning all.  How's it going??  Me, I am doing so so.  It is Monday, and I am up, so guess I will do this thing. 

Yesterday I was really lazy, or didn't do anything but watch movies and t.v.  A day like that isn't bad I don't think.  You cannot do it every day, but why not once in a while. 

Well, I made some coffee, so guess I'll get my cup. 

So a common theme with me is, not a lot is going on.  My life isn't exciting, and it isn't fabulous, not very interesting probably, AND this is the way it is supposed to be.  You would think a blessing means you are going to have this great life right??  So many exciting things will happen, and you will be rich, and do all the things you could think of. 

Well not really huh??  A blessing means you probably would do things that will generate great wealth somewhere else huh??  Not in this life.  A blessing would be whatever the Beatitudes say right??  Being content and comfortable with your life how it is. 

How can that be??  I am not how I would be if I haven't done the things I have done.  A life of suffering.  Suffering put upon me for whatever reason.  Things I couldn't tell anyone, because it was nutty sounding.  My path was hard, but it was necessary for me to learn the things I had to learn. 

I thought the wait was going to be over a few???  Thanksgivings ago??   I was surprised it wasn't, and it goes on.  The wait is still going because things have to be done.  Things you have to do.  The wait waits for people to stop being afraid of the truth in all of its unfabulous glory. 

Strength comes with trust.  Trust does not come with a feeling of strength, because deep down we are all weak, and imperfect, and afraid of what others may think of us.  We protect our selves with our shell we have made, and it isn't any protection really, because like I have said all is known. 

So the wait is here, and it goes on.  Life has some serious stuff to it, and it isn't always funny.  Remember 1000 years ago I wanted to be the fun guy, and felt pressure to be the fun guy, but life has other stuff too, and I did too.  Some people's shell may just be life is nothing but 1000 jokes/ day. 

I don't buy it. 

Life can be funny at times, but like I said it is other stuff too. 

So anyway that is that.  Baseball starts today.  What do I think of the Sox??  Sox will have to win this year with Pitching and Defense.  Tigers will have to win with Bashing and Starting Pitching.  Sox have Starters and a Bullpen, and Great Defense.  Maybe offensively some people can step up.  Do I think the Sox can beat the Tigers for the Division.  Yes, I think they can, but it won't be easy. 

So anyway today is work, and watch baseball.  :)  why not right??

Have a good day all.   :)

That is it for today!!!     :)

Thanks for reading!!!    :)

Hope Everyone has a Great and Awesome Day!!!    :)

xo's!!!     :)

Love You All!!!     :)

p.s.  I am not perfect, and I cannot be as I am now, and this is a hard little journey we are doing, but I have a promise all for good, which even sometimes I forget, but that is like a strength button for me.  I know many of you know my story, and don't be afraid.

Love You All  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ya'All are the best  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Extras of these  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Extras of these  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now for really really cya cya cya    :D     :D